When He Returns

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “It would be a shame if you completely stepped away,” Jesse said, a frown on his face. “You have too much talent to do that.”

  “Except that being a part of that world, with my talent, just about got me killed.”

  “You don’t need to be in it in the same way.” Jesse leaned his arms on the table, his expression serious. “Just write your songs.”

  “If only I was actually writing songs.” Unease swirled within Dalton, and he felt the ants begin a quiet, slow march to his brain yet again.

  “It will come back to you, bro.” Jesse spoke with more confidence than Dalton felt, but that was nothing new.

  Over the years, the only thing he’d ever really had confidence in was his music, so not having that made him feel adrift. His music had been an anchor for him. Even in the worst of his drug use, he’d found solace in the flow of words and chords. But the music, for all that it had been his anchor, hadn’t been strong enough to keep him from turning to drugs.

  “I hope you’re right. I’m not sure what else to do with my life if I don’t have my music.”

  “You don’t actually need to work,” Jesse reminded him.

  “Neither do you, and yet you’ve run off to join another band.” Dalton pinned him with a hard look. “So obviously you need music the same way I do.”

  Jesse met his look and held it for a moment before letting out a sigh. “Okay. Fine. You’re right. So get yourself a management team and figure out what avenues are available to you now.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Dalton said as he got to his feet and started to clear away the dishes.

  Jesse helped him then plopped down on the couch. “So what are we going to do now?”

  “I have a car available for today if you want to go somewhere.”

  “Like where?” Jesse asked. “You’re the Winnipeg boy. Where should we go?”

  “I haven’t lived here in more than a decade, and even when I did live here, I didn’t go around the city much. School. Church. A few hockey games. Really, I didn’t have much of a life outside of my music.”

  “That sounds familiar. Minus the church, of course. Oh, and the hockey games.” Jesse turned to look at him. “And hockey? Really?”

  “Do you know anything about hockey?” Dalton asked.

  “Sure. It’s the national sport. I watched a lot of it growing up, but you never struck me as being a hockey fan.”

  “I’m not really. I’m more of a Kenton Callaghan fan.” Dalton stretched his legs out to rest his feet on the coffee table. “I only went to games when his team was in town.”

  “Your brother?” When Dalton nodded, Jesse said, “And he played in the NHL?”

  “Yep. He’s the one married to Elliot’s sister.”

  “Wow. So you’re not the only famous one in your family.”

  “Nope, but Kenton’s career ended on a high note, not the crash and burn conclusion of mine.”

  A knock on the door kept Jesse from responding as Dalton got up to answer it.

  “Hey, JD,” he said when he saw his brother-in-law at the door. “C’mon in.”

  The conversation shifted away from serious topics as JD and Jesse engaged in conversation. Though the lowest part of his life was what had brought the two men together, they seemed to have forged a friendship apart from that.

  While they talked about JD and Danica’s wedding and honeymoon, Dalton went to the kitchen to look over what he had to make sure he didn’t need to go to the grocery store again now that he and Jesse had settled on the menu. He’d bought the ingredients for several different meals, figuring whatever he didn’t use for this dinner, he’d use in the weeks ahead for the meals with Sierra and the others.

  He was glad that Bennett and Grace had volunteered to stay with Makayla and the kids so his folks could come to the dinner, but he was still disappointed that Sierra couldn’t make it. His feelings for her were starting to eclipse everything in his life. He was already missing her at the dinner, and the day wasn’t even there yet.

  It was possible that he might see very little of her while Jesse was visiting because of her night shifts, and that didn’t sit well with him at all. It seemed like a piece of him was missing, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. In a few short weeks, she’d come to mean so much to him—more than he’d ever thought someone outside his family could.

  The guys in the band had been important to him, but he’d never felt as if a part of him was missing if he didn’t see them for a few days, or even a week or more. But Sierra? He wanted—needed—to see her on a daily basis.

  At JD’s urging, Dalton canceled the car he’d reserved for the day, then JD took them to a few spots he liked around the city. The Forks. The Human Rights Museum. After that, they stopped for a late lunch/early dinner at the revolving restaurant on top of the Fort Garry Hotel before JD took them back to the apartment.

  Dalton noticed right away that Sierra’s car was gone from the parking lot. He was disappointed to have not been able to see her but tried not to let his disappointment show. The last thing he needed was questions from Jesse, or worse, from JD.

  As they spent the evening in the apartment, Jesse once again pushed the idea of him meeting with his management team. Dalton wasn’t any closer to making that decision than he’d been that morning, but he agreed to at least think about it. After all, he didn’t have much else to do these days.

  “I know you said not to bring anything, but I couldn’t come empty-handed, sweetie,” his mom said as she walked into his apartment the next night with a container in her hands.

  “Hey, son.” His dad gave him a quick hug. “It smells delicious.”

  “Hope it tastes as good.” Dalton took the container from his mom then led the way into the kitchen where Jesse was working on a salad.

  “Mom and Dad, I’d like you to meet Jesse,” Dalton said as he put his mom’s contribution on the counter. “Jesse, these are my parents, Emily and Steve.”

  Jesse was nothing if not charismatic, and he turned on the charm as he shook hands with Dalton’s parents. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

  “The pleasure is ours,” his dad said. “We’re so glad to meet the person who played such a big role in getting Dalton help when he badly needed it.”

  Jesse just smiled and nodded. Dalton knew that Jesse was reticent to take any credit for getting him into rehab, because of Angel’s death. He was well aware that Jesse felt guilt over what all had happened around that time. Never mind that both Dalton and Angel had been grown men, responsible for their own actions.

  Jesse had tried to get them into rehab countless times. He’d even succeeded a few months before Angel’s death, but neither of them had stayed beyond a couple of days. That was on him and Angel, not Jesse. Just the fact that he’d tried to get help for them was enough.

  But just like Jesse couldn’t force them to get help, Dalton couldn’t force him to not feel guilty over everything that had happened in the days leading up to and including Angel’s death. In the end, he’d gotten Dalton the help he’d needed. In his parents’ eyes—and Dalton’s too—that was all that mattered. Not all the times he’d failed to get them help.

  Danica came to greet their parents, giving them hugs. She and JD had arrived a short time before their parents. Elliot was the last to arrive, offering apologies for his tardiness. He was excited to meet Jesse, and Jesse happily signed a few pictures of the band he’d brought with him.

  “You never asked me to sign anything,” Dalton pointed out as they sat down at the table.

  “True, but you’re always around. Plus, you’re Dalton of Dalton’s Cross. Dude, I need to work up to asking you for an autograph.”

  The laughter around the table set the tone for the meal, and after his dad had said a prayer for the food at Dalton’s request, they dug into the meal Dalton and Jesse had prepared for them.

  For all Dalton’s worrying about how his family would accept Jesse, the dinner went off without a hitch. It was a g
ood reminder that his family had always been welcoming of people, no matter their walk of life.

  “Dude, your family loved me,” Jesse said once they’d all left. “I mean, really, what’s not to love, but you were worried for some reason.”

  Dalton rolled his eyes at Jesse. For all that they’d been through together, including some really low periods of his life, they had also had a lot of fun. That was definitely something he would miss as Jesse moved on with his new band.

  “Not sure why. You’re going to head off with your new band, and we’ll probably never see you again.”

  When Jesse didn’t reply right away, Dalton glanced over at him as he finished putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. Danica and his mom had loaded a good portion of it before they’d left, so he hadn’t had to do much.

  “What?” he said when Jesse continued to stare at him, his brows pulled together.

  “I hope you don’t mean that.” Jesse slid off the counter to lean against it, his arms crossed. “Because if you do, that’s messed up.”

  “What’s messed up about it, really?” Dalton shut the door of the dishwasher and turned around. “You’re going to get super busy.”

  “Yes, for the duration of the tour, but we’re not going to be on tour all the time.”

  “Are you moving to LA?” It was the one question Dalton hadn’t asked so far. The one he didn’t really want to know the answer to.

  He had his answer when Jesse hesitated before saying, “I can’t really practice with the band if I’m in Toronto and they’re in LA.”

  Dalton nodded because it made sense for Jesse to move to LA if that’s where the band was based. After all, Jesse had moved to Toronto from Vancouver when he joined Dalton’s Cross since that’s where the rest of them were.

  “It’s not like you can’t fly to LA as easily as you would have flown to Toronto.”

  “My home is in Toronto,” Dalton said.

  “Is it, though?” Jesse asked with an arched brow.

  Weirdly enough, Dalton was torn on that answer. His mind said yes because the apartment he’d lived in as an adult was there, and he’d always considered that home. However, his heart seemed to have another response.

  “This apartment doesn’t hold a candle expense-wise to your place in Toronto, but you are more relaxed here than you ever were there.” Jesse paused before adding, “That should tell you something.”

  “Are you selling your place?”

  Jesse nodded. “The real estate market is favorable for it right now. I’ll make more than I paid for it. Plus, there’s nothing for me in Toronto, especially with you putting roots down here.”

  Dalton wasn’t sure he was putting down roots, but maybe he was. He hadn’t made definite plans to stay in Winnipeg. His main objective in coming there had been to reconnect with his family, not to establish a home.

  Jesse lowered his arms then reached out to thump his shoulder. “Let’s make some music. We haven’t done that yet since I’ve been here.”

  In the past, it was a rarity for them to be together and not jam, particularly if Dalton was sober. As long as Jesse wasn’t asking him to play anything new, he could jam with him.

  “I only have my acoustic,” Dalton told him as they left the kitchen. “Think you can handle that?”

  “Dude, please.”

  They went to the living room where Dalton handed him the guitar before sitting down at the piano. He was glad that his dad’s company had built a solid building with excellent soundproofing between apartments. It meant that they didn’t have to worry about annoying the neighbors—namely Danica—with their music this late in the evening.

  He waited for Jesse to begin to strum something familiar before he joined in. In the past, it had been common for them to write new songs during jam sessions, but Dalton was too afraid to test that.

  They played and talked late into the night, reminiscing about the good times and a few of the bad. The next day, they did it all over again after spending a couple of hours Facetiming with their two former band members. They were both considering other options now that they were free of both the band and their management.

  It seemed it was just Dalton who had no direction in his life.

  By late afternoon, they were back at the airport where Dalton said goodbye to Jesse and tried not to get emotional about it.

  “Facetime me when you can,” Dalton said as they stood just outside security. “And message me too. I want to know how it’s going with you and your new best friends.”

  Jesse reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. “Take care of yourself. I expect you to keep me up to date on your life too. No holding anything back. I need to know you’re okay.”

  “I will.”

  As Dalton watched Jesse move through security, he couldn’t help but feel that he was getting left behind. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he headed back out to the waiting car.

  The apartment was strangely quiet when he got home, and there was no one there to help alleviate the intensity of the quietness. With Sierra at work, and Elliot, Danica, and JD at their Bible study, that left him in the building with Marc—unless he was at the study too—and he wasn’t desperate enough to spend time with a virtual stranger.

  He hadn’t been home long when a text came through from Jesse.

  Jesse: Just getting ready to take off. My attendant for first class is HAWT!

  Dalton laughed. Good grief, man. Be sure you let her do her job.

  Jesse: If she’s not doing her job, it’s not my fault. The napkin she gave me with my drink had her number on it.

  Only you, dude. Only you.

  After Jesse told him the flight was getting ready to pull away from the terminal, he fell silent. As Dalton sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table, he hoped he’d be able to see Sierra the next day. He hadn’t seen her since that brief time on the landing with Jesse, and that felt like ages ago.

  He was glad for Jesse’s visit, but now that he was gone, Dalton knew he needed to figure out what he was going to do with his future. Maybe it was time to meet with Jesse’s new management team to see what they could do for him. They would probably come to Winnipeg, but he didn’t want anyone knowing where he was just yet. Jesse knowing was one thing, strangers having that information was completely another.

  All Dalton knew was that he needed some direction, and it was time to start figuring out what that was going to be.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Sierra headed into the apartment building, grateful that her final night shift was over. She now had four days off before her next shift, and at that precise moment, she felt like she was going to spend all of that time sleeping. Of course, she always felt that way coming off a night shift.

  As she came to the second floor landing, her steps slowed as she took in the sight in front of her. Dalton sat on the carpeted floor outside her door, dressed in flannel sleep pants and a loose T-shirt. His head was leaned back against the wall, and his eyes were closed.

  Stepping up next to him, she bent over to place a hand on his shoulder and said, “Dalton?”

  His eyes fluttered open and drowsily focused on her. “Sierra.”

  The way he said her name in that sleep rough voice reached deep inside her, and the affection in his gaze and the way he smiled at her suffused her with warmth. She was close enough to see the dark blue flecks in the light blue of his irises, and when she found herself wanting to be even closer to him, she dropped her hand from his shoulder and straightened.

  “Hey. What exactly are you doing sitting out here? Bed bugs in your place?”

  “Nah. I just wanted to bring you some breakfast.” He patted the basket sitting next to him.

  “The last time you did that, you just left it outside my door.” Sierra stepped over his legs and settled on the floor on the other side of the basket.

  “True, but I hadn’t seen you in awhile, so I thought I’d wait with the food.”

  “You’re going to
be tired,” Sierra said, trying her best not to read anything more into his words, but it was hard.

  “Maybe,” Dalton said with a shrug. “But I can go back to bed, too.”

  “Did Jesse leave?” she asked as Dalton opened the basket and pulled out a foil wrapped item.

  “Yeah. Last night.” He handed it to her and said, “Breakfast burrito.”

  It was still warm in her hand, so she didn’t think he’d been sitting there too long. He took one out for himself, so she was glad to not be eating alone.

  “Did you have a good visit?”

  “We did,” he said with a nod. “Not sure when I’ll see him again as he’s relocated to LA, and he’ll be going on tour soon.”

  “Thankfully, we live in a great age where we can video chat with anyone at any time.”

  “Yep. That’s true.”

  “How did the dinner go?”

  As she listened to Dalton talk about how it had gone with his parents and Jesse, Sierra allowed herself to consider for just a moment how much she’d missed him. Some of that had been her own fault because she’d allowed her emotions to get the better of her.

  Most of it had been her agreeing to help her supervisor out when she’d been in a pinch after one of the nurses had broken her arm. After how good they’d been to her during those early days following Ethan’s accident, she’d kind of felt like she owed them. She knew that the supervisor wouldn’t have asked her to help out if she’d had any other options, so Sierra had agreed to help her out of a tough spot.

  Finished with her breakfast, Sierra leaned her head back against the wall, tipping it to the side so she could watch him as he talked. With his hair mussed from sleep and hanging in his face, he reminded her of teen Dalton. There had been plenty of times when she’d spent the night with Danica or when they’d all been up at the family cabin at Hecla where she’d seen him when he first woke up.

  “How was your night?” Dalton asked, pulling her thoughts from the past.

  “Quiet.”

  “That’s a good thing though, right?”