by Noelle Adams
Everyone else knew—except maybe Ryan—but Patrick had no clue at all.
It made Noah feel guilty, dirty, like the biggest ass in the history of the world.
There was nothing else he could say at the moment, though. “Sure. I can do it.”
“Thanks.”
The conversation was evidently over. Patrick and Carol were once again absorbed in their game. Ginny and Ryan were watching a sports wrap-up on cable and were clearly not leaving at the moment.
Just him. And Emma.
Together.
Noah swallowed hard. “Ready?” he asked, hoping he sounded casual.
“Yeah.” She gave him a flustered smile, so at least she wasn’t completely cool about the idea of riding home with him.
In Nan’s old Cadillac.
Where they’d had incredibly hot sex just a week ago.
They said their goodbyes and walked out of the apartment and then down the stairs to the ground level.
When they reached the parking lot and took a look at the car, Noah pulled to an abrupt halt. “What the hell?”
He’d parked in the only available visitor spot when he arrived—right next to the dumpster at the very end of the lot.
In the last few hours, someone had evidently decided to make a parking spot of their own, against the curb.
In the space Noah needed to back out.
The big Cadillac was nearly trapped between the dumpster, the car beside it, and the illegally parked car behind it.
“What a jerk,” Emma said, assessing the situation. “We can have Carol call her management. They can have that car towed. That’s definitely not a legitimate parking space.”
Noah groaned. “That will take forever. I think I can get it out.”
Emma raised her eyes. “You think?”
He’d done some quick geometry in his mind, and he nodded. “Yeah. I think I can do it.”
“All right.” Emma didn’t sound convinced, which only made Noah even more determined to back out of the parking space.
They both got into the car, and Noah turned on the ignition.
When he looked in the rearview mirror, he had a sinking feeling that this maneuver wasn’t going to be a sure thing.
Emma was sitting beside him, looking up at him in the dim light with those big brown eyes.
Any doubts he had flew out the window.
He was going to do this.
He put it into reverse, turned the wheel, and backed up as much as he could without hitting the car behind him. Then he put it into drive and turned the wheel again sharply as he pulled it a few feet forward.
He repeated the move again.
And then again.
And then again.
And then again.
Emma was watching him silently, occasionally looking out the back window as he reversed.
“You want me to get out and signal when you get too close to that car?” she asked after a few minutes.
“No,” Noah muttered, washed with the heat of annoyance and frustration and a kind of embarrassment he almost never felt.
Damn this selfish idiot who had parked right behind him.
Damn him straight to hell.
Emma didn’t argue. She sat in silence as he kept reversing and pulling forward, gradually getting the car turned inch by agonizing inch.
After a while, he was breathing heavily, and he couldn’t help but glance back over at Emma.
Her eyes were wide, but her mouth was trembling just slightly.
She was trying not to laugh at him.
Noah felt another surge of exasperation as he kept inching into a clear turn.
This was like a nightmare.
Trapped in an ancient Cadillac with a beautiful woman he was crazy about.
A beautiful woman who was laughing at him.
After countless numbers of back-and-forths, Noah finally couldn’t contain his frustration. He let out a loud bellow. “Damn it!” He slammed his hands against the steering wheel, wishing he was anywhere but here.
“You’re getting there,” Emma said.
He could tell she was trying to keep her voice neutral, but it was audibly uneven.
When he glanced over, he saw laughter dancing in her eyes.
“Damn it,” he growled again. “You’re laughing at me!”
“No, I’m not,” she lied, even as a little giggle escaped her lips.
He dropped his head against the steering wheel with a loud groan. “Damn it,” he muttered again, this time without much heat.
Emma stopped trying to hide her laughter. She giggled uninhibitedly. But she said, “It’s not your fault, Noah. It’s that jerk who parked there.”
“I know,” he groaned. Despite himself, his humor had finally kicked in, and he was smiling just a little. “Do you want me to get Carol to call the management?”
“No.” She looked behind them and then out her side. “I really think you’re making progress. If you let me get out and signal, you might even get this tank out of the spot.”
He let out a long breath. “Okay. Go ahead. Thanks.”
Emma got out and positioned herself where she could see clearly. He backed up, watching her closely so he could stop when she signaled.
That actually did work a lot better. After about ten more back-and-forths, Noah had finally cleared the car beside him and was able to pull the Cadillac straight.
Emma ran over and jumped into the passenger side, her face alight with laugher. “Victory!” she cried.
Noah just groaned as Emma put on her seatbelt.
His chest had unclenched for the first time all week, though. He felt better. He felt like he and Emma were close again.
Maybe not as close as he wanted but not with that painful distance anymore.
Emma couldn’t stop laughing, and he didn’t even mind that she was laughing at him.
He slumped against his seat before he put the car back into drive, closing his eyes in exhaustion at the thirty-point turn he’d just made in this old clunker.
“You ready?” Emma asked him.
He opened his eyes. “Yeah. I’m really sorry.”
“I told you, it’s not your fault. It’s that jerk. I’m tempted to leave a nasty note.”
“I didn’t mean about that,” he admitted, meeting her eyes. “I’m really sorry, Emma.”
Her laughter faded as she realized what he was talking about, what he was saying. She gave him a serious little nod. “I know,” she murmured.
“Do you?”
“Yeah. I know. You didn’t mean for it to happen the way it did.”
“I really didn’t. But I knew better. I should have stopped myself.”
She gave a little shrug. “I was part of it too. We’re both adults. It’s not the end of the world.”
“I’m still sorry.” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d apologized to someone like this, but he felt so incredibly guilty and he desperately wanted to feel better. “I should have done better by you.”
She smiled at him, just slightly. “I’m really okay.”
“I know you are.”
He did know.
Emma seemed to appreciate the apology, but she was genuinely fine with everything that had occurred between them.
It was Noah who was still a wreck.
And he just couldn’t stop himself from wanting her.
He kept expecting it to get easier, but each day that passed made him want her even more.
***
The following week, they all got together again on Saturday evening—this time at Ryan’s place in the countryside about twenty minutes from town.
Ryan had bought the property two years ago, and Emma had been to it often enough. It was about twenty acres, most of it wooded, but there was enough pasture for him to have three goats, as well as a bunch of chickens in the back yard and a pond with ducks. Not to mention two dogs.
Ryan was an animal person.
Ryan cooked out, and Emma enjoyed the food and
the company and the way the painful tension had broken with Noah.
She was allowed to like him again. Not anything more than that, but at least she could like him.
She did like him.
A lot.
He was laughing more this evening, and their eyes met a lot when someone made a joke or told a story.
Their eyes had met a lot like that when they were teenagers, and she’d assumed it had meant something.
She’d been stupid back then.
She wasn’t stupid now.
Friends was as much as she could hope for with Noah.
Friends would be enough.
After they ate on Ryan’s big patio, Emma announced that she was going to feed the ducks. She always did when she came to visit. She loved the two big labs Ryan had, but other than the dogs, the ducks were her favorites.
“Doesn’t Ryan feed his own ducks?” Noah asked, looking genuinely curious.
“They get plenty of food,” Ryan told him. “They’re pretty much self-sufficient anyway. But Emma likes to give them extra.”
“They’re always hungry,” she said with a smile.
Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head. “They know how to put on a show. They’re just like dogs. Always begging for food. You should go check them out, Noah, and try to keep Emma from giving them too much.”
Emma thought Noah might refuse, since they hadn’t been alone together since last weekend in the car, but he got up from his seat with an easy smile and walked with her to the barn, where Emma filled up a bucket with the mix of dried corn kernels and scratch grains Ryan kept in a big tub.
“They eat that much?” Noah asked with a dubious look.
“They’d eat way more than this if I gave it to them. There’s a lot of them.”
“Okay.” Noah’s eyebrows were still raised.
She gave him a little scowl—mostly for show—and walked toward the pond. She smiled when a couple of the white ducks saw her approaching and started running in her direction.
The other ducks, always following each other’s examples, started toward her as well, some of them having to paddle over from the other side of the pond and a few flapping their wings in their urgency.
Emma laughed as they surrounded her and Noah. About half the ducks were domestic—the white ones and a few Muscovies with black bodies, white heads, and red patches on their faces. Then there were some mallards who hung out at the pond and took advantage of the easy food. And some migrating Canada geese came and went as well. There were about five of them here today.
“Jesus,” Noah breathed, staring down at the flock, who were eagerly pecking at the ground as she threw out the scratch. “What a crew!”
“Aren’t they cute?” Emma leaned over as one of the Muscovy ducks waddled up and wagged his tail feathers at her. She gave him a little pile of food of his own for being so cute.
“What kind of bird is that?” Noah asked, looking on with interest. “He’s not very good-looking, is he?”
“Yes, he is! He’s a duck. A Muscovy. He’s domesticated, just like the others. It’s not his fault he’s not as traditionally handsome as the white ones. He’s my favorite! I’ve named him Ugly.”
“You named the duck Ugly?”
“Yes. But it’s affectionate. He likes it.”
“Sure he does.” Noah was chuckling though, and his green eyes were warm as she threw out all the food and enjoyed the sight of the ducks eagerly pecking away at the ground.
“Do you feed the chickens too?” Noah asked after a few minutes.
“Sometimes. But they don’t have as much personality as the ducks. I like the ducks better.”
“I can see that.”
Something in the tone of his voice drew her attention. She glanced over and froze at the warm appreciation in his eyes.
His eyes were resting on her face like they were caressing her. That was exactly what it felt like.
Like he was touching her.
Her cheeks warmed, and her breath hitched in her throat. She gazed at him, trying to remind herself that things were good between them now and it would be ludicrous to mess it up with more impulsive behavior.
“Stop it,” she murmured, when his warm gaze didn’t break.
“Stop what?” His voice was husky, delicious.
“Stop looking at me that way.”
“I can’t help it.” He inhaled slowly and then let it out. “God help me, I just can’t help it. I know it’s wrong. I know I’m supposed to be good and never touch you again. But I can’t seem to stop wanting to.”
Heat washed over her, and her body tingled with excitement, pleasure, arousal. They were standing about a foot apart, but he might as well have just kissed her. That was exactly how it felt.
She gulped. “We can’t. It will be even more of a mess.”
“I know.” Noah gave a little groan and turned around, showing his back to her. “I know. Damn it.”
She stared at his back, aching with a longing that was emotional as much as physical.
It would be so much easier if all she felt was simple lust for him.
But this was so much more than that. It went all the way down to her core, to her heart, to her most inner being.
She wanted him all the way.
She sighed and put down her bucket. One inquisitive duck stuck his head inside to see if there were any more goodies. Emma couldn’t help but chuckle at the duck’s indignation at finding the bucket was empty.
Noah turned around to see what had diverted her.
“He’s throwing a temper fit,” she said, nodding toward the duck who was taking out his disappointment on his comrades, hissing and snapping at them and trying to scare them away from the food.
Noah smiled at the duck, and then he smiled at her.
And then, before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her.
And, oh God, it was exactly what she wanted. She opened to the advance of his tongue and twined her arms around him, arching her body into his as deep pleasure and deep need overwhelmed her.
He walked her backward until they reached a tree, and he used the tree for support as he slid his hands down to her bottom and then lifted one of her thighs to wrap her leg around him.
Emma was throbbing, pulsing, blazing with need. She clawed at Noah’s shirt and moaned into his mouth.
He was rocking against her, his own arousal hard and very evident beneath his jeans. “Oh, fuck, Emma, baby. I just can’t keep my hands off you,” he murmured against her skin, trailing kisses down her jaw.
She arched her neck to give him better access. “We shouldn’t… shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I know,” Noah replied thickly, raising a hand to tweak one of her nipples through her shirt. When Emma cried out in pleasure, he did it again. “I know,” he repeated. “It’s wrong. It’s so wrong. I was going to be good.”
“Oh God!” she gasped, grinding her arousal against him eagerly, unable to hold herself back.
“Why can’t I stay away from you, baby?” He bit down gently on a sensitive spot just under her ear, and she writhed in response, nearly choking on the pleasure.
“Noah! Noah!” The voice came from the distance, and both of them immediately recognized it.
Ginny. Calling for her brother.
Who at the moment had Emma pressed up against a tree, his hand on her breast, her leg wound around him shamelessly.
Noah grunted like he’d been hit and dropped his hands, taking a step backward, away from her.
Emma whimpered at the loss of his touch, although she was straightening up and smoothing her hair in automatic response to Ginny’s voice.
“Damn it,” Noah muttered, flushed and rumpled and so sexy Emma could hardly stand to look at him. He blew out several deep breaths, and Emma knew he was trying to get his body back under control.
“Noah!” Ginny called again. Her voice was closer this time, and it sounded strangely urgent.
“I’m here!” Noah replied.
<
br /> Ginny had come into sight now, and Emma’s stomach twisted in concern. Something was wrong.
“What’s the matter?” Noah asked, raising his voice to cover the distance. He must have seen something wrong in his sister’s presence too.
“It’s Nan,” Ginny explained, hurrying toward them. “She’s fallen again.”
“Is she all right?” Noah asked. He was totally focused on this new crisis, as if he hadn’t been hot and heavy with Emma just a minute before.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. A neighbor called. He found Nan in the garden. She must have been there for a while before anyone knew.”
Emma went ice cold at this news, and she saw a similar expression on Noah’s face.
Poor Nan. Surely she was going to be all right.
Noah didn’t waste any more time with questions. He started back toward the house, followed by Emma and Ginny.
And soon Emma could hardly believe she’d been in his arms just a few minutes earlier.
It was just as well they’d stopped when they had.
Eight
Nan’s bad ankle, still weak from spraining it last week, had given out, and she’d taken a hard fall in her garden. She hadn’t had her phone with her, so she’d had to lie there for more than an hour before a neighbor had seen her.
Since everyone was worried, they’d all followed Ginny and Noah over to the house. The EMTs were there when they arrived, and so they all went over to the hospital.
Emma felt dazed, sick.
Everything had happened so quickly. She’d been in Noah’s arms one minute—letting herself feel everything she thought she shouldn’t want—and now he was quiet and worried and taking authority in that way she knew he did by instinct.
He hadn’t looked or talked to her in an hour.
She wasn’t hurt or offended by that. His grandmother was injured, although what exactly had happened and how serious it was she still didn’t know. But the shift was jarring.
They were all sitting in the waiting room, except Ryan who’d gone to get Noah and Ginny something to drink. None of them were looking at each other or speaking.
So Emma was surprised when Carol moved over to the chair beside her. “You all right?” she asked, very softly.