Engage (Disciples' Daughters Book 3)

by Drew Elyse

  “Yes.” I tried to make it sound firm, to make it clear to her this was not going to be something we were going to get into. Mom didn’t catch that, though—or ignored it.

  “What on earth is he thinking, having you there? What kind of place is that for you to be right now?” she demanded.

  “Well, as I said, I’m not staying there anymore. I’m staying with Dad at his house. Still, I’ll be going to the clubhouse plenty. I like it. Those men saved me. The people who took me brought me here and Dad wasn’t around. The brothers at the clubhouse didn’t know who I was. They could have sent me away, but they didn’t. They care enough about each other that they were willing to drop thousands of dollars to protect me because there was even a possibility that I meant something to one of their own. And they’ve been here for me since. They welcomed me in. They ran out to get me things—food, clothes, stuff like that. Three of the guys went with Dad to help move all my things. They’re a family, and I’m part of that.”

  She scoffed. “They’re brothers to each other, but no one else factors into that life.”

  “You’re wrong. You haven’t seen it. The old ladies, the kids, they’re all family. They found out who I was and welcomed me completely. They wanted to have me here because I am part of Dad,” I insisted.

  “I’m really not comfortable with you being there. You have no idea what those men are like,” she dug in.

  “Well, it’s good I’m an adult and whether or not you’re comfortable isn’t really a factor then, isn’t it?” I snapped. “And, honestly, I think it’s you who has no idea what these men are like. You don’t get how fiercely loyal and protective they are. I could have had that my whole life, a whole band of uncles who loved me and looked out for me. Cami and Ash, they had that. You kept that from me.”

  I knew my voice was rising, enough that a couple people looked over my way. I looked toward Dad and saw Stone nudge him and point to me. He started my way as I turned toward the fire. Jager was still there, his eyes on me, his body unmoving.

  Mom went on in my ear, “I was keeping you safe! You have no idea what that club was up to. It was no place for you—for either of us.”

  For either of us.

  Those words stirred something in me, something that made me feel ill.

  Dad hadn’t mentioned offering her a place with the club. As far back as I could remember, they were nothing more than two people who shared a child. Was there a time, once, when it was more than that?

  Dad reached me, not speaking, but showing his concern on his face. I stared at him, trying to understand while hopelessly denying what I feared was the truth.

  “You left him,” I whispered to Mom. “He wanted us to stay, both of us, and you rejected the club.”

  Dad’s face went blank, but there was no masking the hurt still lingering in his eyes. He hadn’t just wanted me around; he’d wanted us to be a family.

  Mom’s voice didn’t soften at all, didn’t show any compassion for what she’d done to Dad, when she said, “I only left him because he wouldn’t leave that godforsaken club. It was more important to him than you or me.”

  She really did it. I felt sick to my stomach.

  “The club is his family, he wanted it to be our family. You didn’t demand he leave some stupid hobby behind. You wanted him to turn his back on his family.”

  “He did turn his back on his family!” she cried.

  “No,” I said, my voice still soft. My eyes remained locked on Dad’s, wanting him to know I wasn’t like her, that I would never fault him for the choice he made. “He never turned his back on me. Not once. You tried to tear him away from family. That’s not right. Then, you left. You took me with you and threatened to keep me away. That’s even worse.”

  “Ember—” she tried to break in, but I kept speaking.

  “You tried to take me away out of spite, but I always belonged here. Now, I’m here, and I’m staying. Goodbye, Mother.”

  “Em—” her voice came through the line again, but I hit end.

  Then, without a word, I wrapped my arms around my dad.

  “Don’t matter anymore, Ber-bear,” Dad murmured. “Got my girl here now. That’s all that counts.”

  He was right. He was so, so right.

  It was after three in the morning. I was headed to my bed at the clubhouse, neither Dad or I feeling like making the drive home after the drinking and emotional upheaval. Only, I didn’t make it that far.

  Jager was waiting for me there, leaning against the door to his room.

  It was like he knew.

  He eyed me, but waited for me to speak. It was up to me. He’d let me head to bed if it was what I wanted, or he would give me something else entirely.

  “I need it,” I told him.

  He rocked his large body forward, bringing his weight from the door that supported him. With a few steps, he closed in on me. His eyes staring down at me were harsh in the sweetest way.

  “What do you need?” he demanded.

  “For you to make me forget.”

  And he did. He took me away from there without delay. He took me to his place, shackled me to one of the beams in his second bedroom, and he unleashed that delicious monster within on me.

  Thoughts of my mother, of all she’d kept from me, vanished. They had no place in that room with us. The only thoughts were of Jager, of his hands and his toys and his cock. My world reduced to a couple hundred square feet and the indescribable pleasure I found there.

  For hours, until I couldn’t keep my eyes open another moment, he made me forget it all.

  When he finally released me from my bonds and his demands, my body could take no more and slipped into sleep before he even managed to carry me to his bed.

  I screamed and kicked out, but it made no difference. It was happening again. They were there and they were going to take me. I couldn’t stop it.

  Conciseness hit me like a shot, my body bolting upright.

  It was a nightmare. Nothing but a dream. It was only in my head.

  Except, it wasn’t. It wasn’t some horrible image my mind had conjured up. No matter how many times I told myself I was safe, that it wasn’t happening again, I could never soothe away the scar left from the fact that it had happened. Those images were very real.

  I couldn’t help but wonder, as I sat in that bed with Jager asleep just a few feet away, if this fear would always be my life now.

  There was no way to answer that.

  All I could do was settle back onto the pillows and attempt to convince myself to fall back asleep, that it would all be fine.

  Convincing yourself of a lie isn’t easy.

  Sleep never came.

  SIX WEEKS LATER

  “Oh God!”

  The information I was hunting down and sorting through on my computer was increasingly hard to focus on.

  I read the same page again, this one credit records. No new transactions in over two months. Before that, ordinary shit—coffee, groceries, gas. Nothing that…

  “I can’t. I can’t.”

  I couldn’t control myself. I had to look.

  We were at the clubhouse, in my room. I was trying to find something I might have missed—anything that might heat up the cold trail leading back to why Ember was taken. This would have been easier if those burgeoning masochistic tendencies weren’t fucking with me again, but it would have been much less satisfying.

  You see, behind me where I’d finally allowed my eyes to stray again, Ember was trussed up and gasping in a mix of pleasure and the desperate need for me to make it stop.

  Her hands were cuffed by her sides, connected to a strap system that went under the mattress. She was on her stomach, her head alternately turned to the side or mashed into the bed to muffle her sounds. Her ankles also bore cuffs connected to the same straps as her wrists. This left her face down, legs spread open, and knees bent upward. She couldn’t move an inch, which was the idea. Beneath her pussy, making her lose control for me, was a magic wand
massager on high.

  For the last thirty minutes, that toy hadn’t turned off. I’d only fluctuated the speed. Ember had already come three times and unless I was mistaken, the fourth was right on the horizon.

  I let my eyes roam over her, loving the sight of her pussy on display for me, so soaked, there was a visible wet spot on the sheets beneath her.

  “Please. Please. I can’t take it,” Ember moaned.

  With great effort, I turned back to my computer screen. Ember, from her angle, was able to just get a look at where I sat. Whether she was in any state to make that effort, I didn’t know. If she was, I wanted her to see me occupied, think I was in no hurry to release her. The fear that she’d be stuck there indefinitely would heighten the sensation.

  In reality, I was ready to break. She’d been moaning since I’d slid the vibrator beneath her, making sure it was snug against her clit in a way no movement from her would dislodge it. Each orgasm made the sounds louder, more anguished, until she was screaming.

  I let her keening moans go on, staring without seeing at the screen in front of me. My head was filled with her sweet, wet cunt and how badly I wanted to storm over there and fuck her until her screams made her hoarse. And I would—soon.

  “No. No. I can’t. It’s…”

  The break in her voice had me whipping around. Sure enough, just as I did, I watched her body spasm as it moved through her. She screamed incoherent syllables, her face pressed into the mattress, but it barely dulled the sound. I watched her pussy weep, saw that hole where I wanted to bury my cock that had been hard for too damn long contracting.

  While it overcame her, I stripped down. That was the final one either of us was going to be able to take. She’d come once more, but it would be from me pounding into her.

  Her body twitched from the over stimulation as it left her and I finally moved her way to pull the magic wand free. She gave a broken sigh when it was no longer pressed against her. Switching the thing off, I tossed it aside before climbing onto the bed.

  “Can’t do more,” she groaned.

  “You’ll take my cock, pet.”

  A little whimper left her, but she didn’t protest again.

  I palmed my dick, breathing through my nostrils and smelling the intoxicating fragrance of her pussy in the air. I’d meant to take a second to rein myself in, but that scent wasn’t helping.

  Fuck, there was nothing for it—my control was gone.

  Unable to hold back any longer, I pressed into her drenched cunt. She was burning hot and tighter than I’d ever felt. I went in slowly, savoring every inch. We’d dispensed with condoms, but I couldn’t get over the feeling of taking her ungloved. Each time I got inside, it overwhelmed me again.

  Ember cried out even as I took her slowly. I’d have to be quick. She wasn’t going to be able to take me long.

  As soon as I was seated deep, her clenched pussy releasing enough to let me in, I let loose. I thrust into her fast, hard. Her pussy craving the stimulation her clit had gotten, it took no time at all before she let out a broken sound and came. I didn’t hold back. The second she clamped down on me, my release took over, blacking out everything but the feel of her around my dick.

  When I pulled out a few minutes later, I watched with depraved satisfaction as my cum leaked from her, dripping down her swollen lips and onto the bed. It was a sight I let myself relish every time.

  Setting Ember free of her bonds, I watched as she curled up right where she was, exhausted from what I’d given her. She made no move to clean me from her until I said. By now, she knew the drill. When I wore her out this much, that meant she’d be clean of me after she slept. Possibly, after I fucked her again when she woke.

  Six weeks, we’d been playing our game.

  Not every night, but most, would end with Ember in my bed. We both got what we needed—the release, the distraction. She let me tie her up and do my worst. She’d stay put and take what I had to give, held only by my command. She gave it all and never once hesitated.

  She gave me the high of absolute control.

  I gave her the high of coming so hard she passed out.

  Then, for reasons I couldn’t, and refused, to try to understand, I let her stay most nights in my bed. It never took her long to find sleep after I was done with her. It always took me much longer to do the same.

  This time, I wasn’t going to sleep with her. It was mid-afternoon, a first for us. But it had been two days since I’d had her last and we’d both needed it.

  Ember was nearly asleep before I had her free. Her eyes only cracking open to look at me when I rubbed her down, making sure her muscles all released.

  “I should go,” she mumbled.

  “Rest, pet,” I instructed.

  “I shouldn’t,” she demurred.

  She should. She needed rest in a way that had nothing to do with what I’d just given her and everything to do with weeks of fractured sleep.

  “Wake you after a bit,” I told her.

  Obviously too tired to keep at the minimal fight she was giving me, she gave in by slumping farther into the bed with closed eyes.

  I went back to my computer, my mind a fuck of a lot clearer, but the task far less interesting. Without her as a distraction, it was back to pouring over information I’d read again and again, hoping the words and numbers might morph from nothing into an answer.

  My gut told me I was on the right track. It might turn out that the truth couldn’t be found on a computer like I was trying to do, but I was fucking sure this all started with him.

  Daniel Ethan Louis.

  Ember had confirmed what I’d thought on my initial run on her. The guy was her ex. Nothing I could find on him looked suspicious, but that was just it. Not one thing looked off, at all. I’d never seen a report like it. Everyone had stuff I had to track down. An onset of a weird medical anomaly that went away, weird online shopping charges it took time to hunt down the source of, a family member with a record of fucked up shit. He had none of it. Everything was so spotless, it seemed fabricated.

  It was a first rate job. Medical history with scattered trips, always at the right times. A bad flu in January, that kind of shit. Employment history with a steady rise from crappy jobs teens get up to something decent, but not gaining ground too fast. Credit charges for normal things like groceries and coffee that weren’t all logged at the same time.

  Anyone else would look through it all and dismiss it. Normal guy, normal background, normal everything—but my gut told me it was all a bunch of shit.

  I ignored my gut once before, I wasn’t fool enough to do it again.

  I’d been at it another half hour, trying to find the hole in the carefully constructed lie, when it happened. It would happen at some point in the night. Sometimes quick, sometimes not for hours. But always, every time she slept beside me, Ember’s nightmares would come.

  Eventually, she would bolt upright without crying out, just like the first night she shared my bed. Every night. Then, she’d take her time, calm herself, and lay back down.

  I never made a move to let her know I was awake.

  And when the nightmares I couldn’t escape woke me, she did the same.

  We went on that way, night after night—both of us pretending to be fine, both of us allowing the other to keep living that lie.

  It was fucked, but it was working. Or it was working as well as it could, so we left it alone.

  That was why, when I heard the bed move and knew it was her, coming awake in a cloud of fear as usual, I didn’t move. I kept my eyes on the screen in front of me even though my mind was not in it.

  It was a few minutes before the rustling of the bed sounded again, more distinct this time. Ember had gotten herself together. I turned, feigning I’d only just heard her.

  “I should go. I’m making dinner for Dad,” she told me. I didn’t respond. Ember offered up pieces of her life like that a lot, and not just with me. It was natural to her, not an attempt to get something from me. />
  She dressed while I watched. There was no embarrassment to it, which I liked. She wasn’t shy about my access to her body.

  “Come here,” I called as she stepped into her shoes. She came right to me. “Got shit going on tonight?” I asked.

  “No.”

  “Then you come to me,” I told her, not waiting for a response as I tagged her wrist and pulled her down to me. I took her mouth before I let her leave.

  When she was gone, I grabbed my phone and composed a text to a number I’d never used. It didn’t matter. She’d have my number programmed along with all the brothers. It was a safety thing.

  Me: You busy?

  Ash: Running errands with Emmy. Why?

  Me: Need to talk.

  Ash: I can be at the clubhouse in 20.

  And, true to her word, I watched while standing outside as Ash pulled in eighteen minutes later. She got out, coming right my way without going to the backseat. Looking beyond her, I saw Emmy wasn’t in it.

  She noticed my glance and informed me, “I dropped her with Sketch. He’s at work, but doesn’t have any clients. She likes being around while Daddy’s working.”

  Sketch’s work was Sailor’s Grave, the tattoo parlor he’d been at for years. The owner, a man named Carson who was friendly to the club, was handing the place over to Sketch so he could retire. This meant Sketch was there more than normal, and the man had always been there a lot until his woman and kid came back to town.

  Without leading into it, I told her, “You gotta talk to her.”

  “Who?”

  “Ember.”

  Ash’s eyes went wide, but she didn’t say anything. Odds were, she knew something about what was going on between Ember and me. Club life didn’t allow for much privacy. Old ladies might be kept out of business at their man’s discretion, but gossip-type shit was always fair game.