Need You Now

by Beth Wiseman

  “Brad was upset that the kids were riding horses here yesterday when he’d told them not to.”

  Layla pointed a finger at Darlene. “I asked those kids if they had permission to ride the horses. Ansley didn’t say anything, but Chad said it was fine with you.” She rolled her eyes. “I should have known better after the way Brad reacted the other night. But you know, these horses are gentle. There couldn’t be finer animals for them to learn on, and I was right there with them.”

  “I know, but my kids wouldn’t know what to do if one of them got spooked or something.” She sipped her coffee. “But Brad’s just been in a bad mood anyway. I guess he’s been worried about Grace, and we hadn’t been getting along very well.”

  “Things better now?”

  Darlene recalled their time together the night before. “Yes. Things are much better.” She decided to change the subject. “I haven’t seen Tom’s car here.”

  “He’s out of town on business, but he’s called.” A soft smile lit Layla’s face.

  “I hope things work out for the two of you. I really do.”

  Layla shrugged. “They might. They might not.”

  Darlene waited a few moments to see if Layla would elaborate. When she didn’t, she asked, “And that’s okay with you?”

  Layla tapped her finger to her mouth a few times. “Yes, it is. Either way. We’ve talked a lot. About everything. And that’s something we didn’t do after Marissa died. I guess it was too raw back then.” She paused. “Oh, there were tears, for both of us. But there were things that needed to be said, and I think that whatever happens, we’ll stay close.” She smiled, shook her head. “You know, I prayed for God to bring Tom back. And He did. But I never expected things to turn out this way. I know that I’ll be fine if we don’t get back together. And Tom will be okay too.”

  Darlene touched the dove pendant around her neck. “You sound different . . . I mean, about everything.”

  Layla smiled. “It’s been a long time since I felt the peacefulness that a relationship with God can bring. I’ve missed it.”

  They were quiet for a minute.

  “Can I . . . ask you something?” Darlene ran her finger around the rim of her coffee cup. “It’s about Dave.”

  Layla frowned. “Is he hitting on you?”

  Darlene sat taller. “Why would you ask that?”

  Layla raised her chin, lifting one eyebrow. “Because I saw the way he was looking at you at the gala.”

  Darlene shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I think maybe. I went to his house to see some paintings that Cara had done recently, after I’d run into him at Walmart.” Darlene scratched her head. “I don’t know, Layla. Sometimes, the way he looks at me . . . I just get this feeling. Maybe I’m wrong.”

  “Stay away from him. You and Brad have a great thing going. Don’t mess it up.”

  Darlene was insulted. “I would never do anything to mess it up.”

  “Never say never,” Layla said as she stood up, walked to the sink, and filled her glass up with water.

  “No, cheating is just not something Brad or I would do. It just wouldn’t happen.”

  “Then why are you even telling me this? Are you attracted to Dave?”

  “No!”

  Layla sat back down. “It’s okay if you are. He’s a handsome man. Doesn’t mean you have to act on it.”

  Memories of dancing with Dave at the gala flooded her mind, along with the tender way he treated her in Walmart, the way he looked at her in his bedroom. Yes, he was handsome, but she was never tempted for one second. Uncomfortable a few times, but never tempted.

  “Of course he’s nice looking. But I don’t see him like that.” She stood up. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything. He wants to bring Cara over to see the chickens from time to time.”

  Layla grunted, grinning. “I bet he does. Probably while Brad’s at work and the kids are in school. They start school next week, right?”

  “Yes. And, Layla, quit saying things like that. I’m going home.”

  She should have known that Layla would react exactly as she had. Problem was, Darlene was having a hard time arguing with her. Layla followed her to the door. Darlene turned around before she left. “See you at church Sunday?”

  “You betcha. I told you, me and God are on good terms these days.” Layla gave a thumbs-up. “Plus, I don’t want to miss pancakes.” She frowned for a few moments. “Is Brad going to still be mad at me?”

  “No. He won’t be mad. Just don’t let the kids ride the horses for a while. I think Grace is doing better, and he and I are doing better, so hopefully he won’t be as cranky.”

  “I just don’t think my babies would ever throw your babies. Those horses have never thrown anyone.”

  “I know. And I’m sure he’ll come around. The whole thing with Grace scared us both.”

  “But you think she’s stopped cutting?”

  “I don’t think she’s done it any more, and her counselor says they are making progress.”

  “Good.” Layla waved. “See you Sunday.”

  It started off just like any other Sunday. Church at eleven, followed by pancakes. Layla had sat with them at church, stayed for brunch, then hurried off to pick up Tom at the airport in Houston that afternoon.

  Darlene agreed to kitchen cleanup by herself so all the kids could go shopping for last-minute school supplies in the afternoon. After a lengthy argument about whether or not Chad or Grace would drive, Ansley flipped a coin. Grace won, but Darlene wondered if Ansley rigged the toss since she disliked Chad’s loud music as much as Grace.

  She wiped the counters, dried her hands, and went to find Brad. He’d been quiet, but not nearly as cranky as he’d been the past couple of weeks. This seemed like a good opportunity to sneak in some time to themselves, maybe even drive to Brenham to go see a movie.

  After checking around the house and calling his name, she figured he must be piddling in the barn, or the “Man Cave” as he called it. She was almost to the barn door when she heard him talking. No one else was home, so she knew he was on his phone. She was just about to turn the corner and go through the barn door when she heard Brad’s strained voice.

  “I’m telling you, Barbara . . . if my wife finds out about this, my marriage is over.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Darlene’s white tennis shoes were rooted to the ground as her thoughts swirled in a thunderous tornado.

  It was a beautiful, sunny day, birds chirping, cows mooing in the distance, and enough breeze to gently ring the wind chimes on the front porch. A beautiful day for anyone whose world hadn’t just slipped off its axis.

  She stood perfectly still. Listening.

  “Fine. That’s fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  She heard Brad click his cell phone off, but she still couldn’t move. Taking a deep breath, she tried to assemble her thoughts. Should she confront him? Would he just lie to her? How long had it been going on? Who was she? Was Brad going to leave her?

  Seeing a movie or spending quality time together no longer held the appeal it had a few minutes ago. She took a deep breath and edged forward. Until now, trust had never been an issue between them. That was one thing they’d always held sacred, and despite Brad’s long hours at work, she’d never once suspected him of cheating.

  But if he was, she wasn’t going to play all her cards right here and now. She had children to think about, her life, their future. A future without him? She swallowed hard. There had to be some other explanation. She replayed his words over and over in her mind. “I’m telling you, Barbara . . . if my wife finds out about this, my marriage is over.”

  Hatred raged inside of her toward a woman she’d never met. And toward Brad.

  She shook her head, despite the tears building in her eyes. There had to be an explanation. Not Brad.

  She jumped when he walked out of the barn.

  “Hey. Whatcha doing?” He walked up to her, his cell phone in hand.

 
“Just lookin’ for you.” She put a hand to her forehead and blocked the sun, her heart racing. “Everything okay?” She glanced at his cell phone.

  “Oh.” He lifted the phone, glanced at it. “Yeah, just work stuff.” He dropped his arm to his side again. “All the kids leave in Grace’s car?”

  “Yeah. It’s just us.” She forced a smile, wishing her heart would stop pounding against her chest. It was everything she could do not to cry. Or punch him in the gut.

  “I need to go run some errands. We need more chicken feed, and one of the Longhorns busted the fence again. I need to fix it before Layla sees it.” He started walking toward the house, so Darlene got in step with him, looking at her first and only love. This can’t be happening.

  She recalled her conversation with Layla. “Never say never,” Layla had said when Darlene said she and Brad would never cheat on each other. She finally turned toward him. “Okay. I’ve got things to take care of around here.”

  Gritting her teeth, she followed him up the porch steps and into the house. The Brad who didn’t cheat on her would have jumped at this opportunity for them to spend some time alone. Cheating Brad couldn’t wait to get out of the house.

  Ten minutes later, her husband pulled out of the driveway, and Darlene got to work. She went to her computer, logged into their cell phone account, then quickly pulled up the most recent activity for Brad’s number, her hands shaking the entire time. She’d never looked at his phone bill, and despite her suspicions, she felt like a spy. She put her head in her hands and cried.

  Please, God. Don’t let this be happening. Please don’t let me find anything bad.

  After a few minutes, she lifted her head, sniffled, and decided she had to know. She scanned the numbers, starting with the most recent call, which ended with 2481, and according to the time, it would have been the call to Barbara. She ran her finger down the screen.

  Covering her mouth with her other hand, her eyes teared up again as 2481 stuck out all down the page. They’d talked one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . seven times yesterday. All were short conversations except for the last one. Thirty-two minutes.

  Darlene searched her brain to recall what she and Brad did yesterday.

  It was Saturday. She’d taken Grace and Ansley shopping for school clothes.

  She tapped her finger to her chin. Brad had stayed home with Chad.

  Scanning the rest of the page, the woman’s number was scattered in between other calls, but there were several per day.

  After an hour, Darlene had traced the calls back for about two months, most of them made by Brad during the workday. She closed the computer, cried again, and wondered if maybe Brad was trying to end it with this woman. His voice on the phone with Barbara had been harsh. The same tone he’d been using with Darlene—until recently.

  Lord, I can’t get past this.

  She closed her eyes and brought both hands to her chest. Something Layla once said rang in her ears.

  “When God decides your life is going too good, He will find a way to humble you, bring you back down to earth, even if it means destroying you. It’s what He does when you sin. He takes, takes, takes . . . everything that means anything to you. Then He looks down on you with no mercy, even though you beg on bended knee for Him to stop the pain.”

  Darlene knew that wasn’t true. That wasn’t how God worked. And Darlene was pretty sure Layla would take back everything she’d said, comments that were the result of bitterness and too much wine that evening.

  Even though Darlene knew it wasn’t true, she couldn’t help but think of it anyway, and she wondered what she’d done to possibly deserve this. Wasn’t she a good enough wife to Brad?

  What about Grace? How could she have missed the signs that her daughter was in trouble? Maybe she was too self-absorbed, always looking for ways to fulfill her own needs and not noticing her family’s.

  Please, Lord. I’m begging You. Please don’t let this be true about Brad. I’m praying there is another explanation. I couldn’t bear it without him in my life. And please, dear God, heal Grace of any pain she might not know how to express. Heal my family, Lord.

  Monday morning, Chad was glad to be back at school. That’s where the girls were, although the first girl he ran into wouldn’t have been his first choice. He was just closing his locker when Cindy walked up. She was still just as pretty as she’d always been with her big blue eyes and long blond hair. Her tan looked good too. But other than that, Cindy Weaver didn’t interest him one bit.

  “How was the rest of your summer?” She swung her hair over her shoulder and smiled. It was one of those no-teeth smiles that girls used sometimes when they were mad.

  “Pretty good. What about you?”

  “Great. I partied until I could party no more.” She lifted her shoulders, dropped them slowly. “And you missed it.”

  “Uh, you know . . .” Then, just in time, he saw Grace. He’d know those pink jeans of hers anywhere, and she always wore them with the same pink and white blouse. “Hey, I gotta go. There’s my sister. I need to tell her something.” He didn’t wait for a response as he hurried down the hallway, edging his way in between all the other kids hurrying to class. “Grace! Wait up!”

  His sister didn’t turn around. Typical. He picked up his speed, careful not to run, since Mr. Radcliffe was up ahead. “Grace! Are you deaf?” He grabbed her by the arm and swung her around, and—he thought he might fall over from shock. “Skylar?”

  Chad couldn’t believe the transformation. She was wearing Grace’s clothes. Her hair was blond like Grace’s, and her face didn’t have all that black stuff on it. And no nose ring. She looked . . . normal. She looked . . . beautiful. He forced his jaw up, but all he could do was stare at her.

  “Cat got your tongue?” Skylar adjusted a stack of books up on her hip.

  “You—you look . . . Wow.” Chad blinked his eyes a few times. This new look took her from friend of Grace’s and friend of the family to something Chad couldn’t quite wrap his mind around.

  “I needed a change,” she said as she raised an eyebrow. “Don’t make a big deal about it.”

  Don’t make a big deal. Every dude that walked by was checking her out, and Chad had a sudden urge to punch them all. “Okay . . .” He scratched his cheek, unable to take his eyes from her. Grace had told him that Skylar would be graduating early, which made Chad wonder if they might be in some of the same classes. “Where you headed, what class?”

  “Ms. Johnson. English.”

  Thank You, God. “Me too. I’ll walk with you.”

  Skylar started walking, so Chad got in step with her. He wondered if he should ask to carry her books, but that seemed dumb. He wasn’t even sure if guys did that except in the movies.

  “Can you please quit staring at me?” Skylar said through gritted teeth without looking at him.

  Chad chuckled. “Skylar . . .” He shook his head. “I just really don’t think I can.”

  She turned toward him and smiled.

  The school year was starting off with a bang.

  Oh yeah!

  Grace endured all the first-day-of-school questions her mother fired at her, and Ansley and Chad also received an ample amount of questioning. That was cool. Mom was just being Mom, wanting details about how her kids were doing. Ansley did most of the talking throughout the meal, half the time with her mouth full. Twice Grace told her to swallow before she talked, but that was just Ansley. She was excited, and it was hard not to be excited along with her. Turns out, her little sister had all the teachers she was hoping for, early lunch, and Tim Zimmermann in her first-period class. They’d all been hearing about Tim Zimmermann since they’d moved here.

  “Uh, Grace . . .” Chad, also with a full mouth, looked at Grace and grinned. “You’ve been keeping a secret.”

  Grace finished chewing, and unlike her siblings, she swallowed before she spoke. “What?” Then she grinned. She knew what Chad was talking about. Although, after seeing Skylar and C
had huddled together after school, she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It seemed weird.

  Chad glanced back and forth between their parents. “You should see Skylar. You wouldn’t believe it. I mean, she’s wearing normal clothes, her hair is blond, none of that dark makeup on her face.” He focused on their father. “Dad, she’s a knockout.”

  “Skylar’s a sweet girl. She was just finding her way with all that goth stuff. Don’t you think, Grace? What made her change?” Mom paused. “I guess being around you, maybe.”

  Grace shrugged, but she was pretty sure she knew what ultimately led Skylar to an overhaul. She’d asked about Chad a few times over the summer, and about Cindy, his ex. Grace could tell Skylar liked Chad, though she had no idea why. He was a slob, played his music way too loud, and his car was always filled with empty soda cans and trash. He usually needed a haircut, and he fell for girls like Cindy Weaver.

  Grace had just been so glad to see Skylar ditch that outdated goth look that Skylar’s motivation hadn’t been important at the time. But if Skylar and Chad started dating or something . . . that would be too weird.

  Something else was going on too. Grace could feel it, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Mom had served one of her best first-day-of-school dinners, something she knew everyone liked—tacos, beans, and rice. She was asking all the right questions, but something was wrong. Her eyes were swollen like maybe she’d been crying, and although she was trying to make sure everyone else was happy, which was Mom’s way, she wasn’t smiling much. She just seemed . . . down.

  Dad wasn’t much better. A for-sure sign that their father was worried about something was when he didn’t eat much. He’d barely finished one taco and hadn’t touched his beans and rice.

  She hoped they weren’t still worried about her. Tomorrow was another counseling session with Dr. Brooks after school. Grace liked the doctor okay, and she’d been trying to do what the doctor wanted. They’d been working on other ways Grace could handle her frustrations, and Grace had told her that she no longer had the urge to cut.