Sheltered Love

by Mj Williamz

  Boone lay back and Grey returned the favor, kissing and sucking Boone’s nipples and breasts, her hand between her legs. She rubbed Boone’s clit before sliding inside her.

  “More, baby. Please, more.”

  Grey continued to move in and out until Boone felt herself clamping on Grey’s fingers as she came.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Grey went about her business at work and continued to enjoy her time with Boone. But the issue of the sports bar constantly weighed on her mind. She tried to let it go, but couldn’t. Boone had held a staff meeting and urged them to get better about not letting people drink too much, but even Boone had to admit it was easier said than done. But Boone was also determined to lead by example, which Grey felt was critical. And Boone had offered to be the one to cut someone off if she was there.

  So Grey told herself to relax and go with it. She was just crazy about Boone, and outside of the bar issue, life was great. Although the bar was a pretty huge part of their relationship.

  She continued her work with Phoebe, who was making great strides. Connie had even lined up some job interviews for her. Everything was going well. She had a few new clients, and Boone still came out every day to visit Phoebe. Grey loved that Boone was such a caring person. She truly cared about Phoebe and she truly cared about Grey. Grey did not doubt that at all.

  She was working in her office when Boone walked in, looking harried.

  “What’s up, babe?” Grey asked.

  “Nothing. Just a rough lunch rush at the bar.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “I had to kick Tanner out again.”

  “I’m sorry. But good for you for doing that.”

  “I always worry that he’ll just find another bar, though.”

  “And you figure you’re losing money then?” Grey said.

  “What? No. That’s not it at all.”

  “I hope not.”

  “How could you even think that?”

  “I don’t know. I just wonder.”

  “No, I worry he’s just going to keep getting drunker elsewhere and getting more and more dangerous.”

  “I hope that’s not the case.”

  “So do I.” Boone paused for a moment. “How’s Phoebe today?”

  “She’s great. I don’t know where you’ll find her right now.”

  “Is she in a session?”

  “No. I’d start in the common room.”

  Grey watched Boone walk off and felt a weird sensation. Something wasn’t right. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something just didn’t feel right.

  When Boone stopped by her office on her way out, Grey mentioned it.

  “Boone, is everything okay?”

  “Things are fine. I just had a rough day is all.”

  “And you blame me, don’t you?”

  “How could I blame you?”

  “I just feel like you do.”

  “That’s just crazy. I don’t blame you.”

  “I’ve complicated your business by being in your life.”

  “Grey, you’ve done no such thing. We’re simply being more responsible now. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  Boone kissed her.

  “I’ll see you tonight.”

  Boone drove back to the bar, Grey’s words heavy on her mind. Did she blame Grey for being more responsible? Did she resent the implication that she wasn’t doing enough before? That was ridiculous. If Boone could help keep one woman from being abused, it was for the good. She felt good about laying down the law at The Boonies. After all, it was legally required. She knew it put her bartenders and wait staff in touchy situations, but for the most part, they were few and far between. Most of her clientele knew their limitations and didn’t push them.

  She wondered if Grey was having second thoughts. She sure hoped not. But she knew the bar had been a major contention when they first met and could see it getting that way again. She determined to relax and make the evening special.

  After the bar, Boone stopped by the florist and bought an autumn arrangement to use as the centerpiece. She picked up a couple of steaks and a nice bottle of wine. She really wanted to have a romantic dinner with her woman.

  Grey arrived and Boone greeted her with a warm hug and a kiss.

  “Hi, baby,” Boone said.

  “Hi, Boone. Do I smell baked potatoes?”

  “You do. And now that you’re here, I’ll fire up the grill.”

  “Oh, you’re in your element tonight, aren’t you?”

  “I am.” Boone laughed.

  She took Grey’s hand and walked her to the kitchen where she poured her a glass of wine.

  “You relax,” Boone said. “And I’ll go get the grill going.”

  “I’ll join you,” Grey said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Nope. This dinner’s on me. You just enjoy yourself.”

  Boone put the steaks on the grill and turned to Grey.

  “I really like you, you know that, right?”

  “Of course I know that. And I really like you, too.”

  “I love hearing that.” She kissed Grey’s lips, as always awed by their softness.

  They took the steaks off and sat down to dinner.

  Boone was still uptight, feeling something wasn’t right, but she told herself to relax and enjoy her dinner. Her insecurities won out.

  “So, we’re good, right?”

  Grey set down her utensils and looked at Boone. Boone felt the knot in her stomach grow.

  “I hope so, Boone.”

  “You hope so?”

  “I don’t know. I know we’re good together, but I don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know?”

  “I have concerns about the bar.”

  “Babe, you’ve been to the bar how many times now? You know it’s not some horrible place that’s a constant drunkfest. It’s a gathering spot where people socialize, watch games, and hang out. You know it’s not the center of evil.”

  “I know all those things. But I still know how many people are abused after sporting events. And by intoxicated people. Your bar is against everything I spend my life working for.”

  “So what do you want from me?”

  “I don’t know, Boone. I don’t know.”

  “You keep saying that. You’re making me nervous.”

  “Maybe we need a break.”

  “A break?”

  “I need some time to think, Boone.”

  “Fine. You can think and still be with me. I’d be fine with that.”

  “You know what I mean. I need some space to decide if this is what I really want.”

  “People would give anything to have what we have,” Boone said. “Please don’t walk away from this.”

  “You know my childhood, Boone. But you don’t know I was in a relationship with an abusive alcoholic for seven years. I have issues with this and I’m not sure I can overcome them.”

  Boone was stunned. The thought that anyone could have hurt Grey made her furious, and the thought that the pain inflicted by that person might interfere with what they shared only made it worse.

  “I get it, Grey. I do. But again I say, you’ve been to The Boonies. You’ve seen that our patrons are good people. I still don’t think you should call it quits on us because of the bar. And as far as abusive alcoholics, you’ve seen me have a few beers. I’d never be abusive.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Is that all you can say? But what about my feelings for you? Do they not count for anything?”

  “They do, Boone. They means the world to me, and I’m sorry to have to do this. I do care about you, but I can’t compromise myself to be with you anymore.”

  “Grey, please. I’m begging you.”

  “I’m sorry, Boone. But I’m afraid I have to.”

  Boone sat still and watched Grey walk out of her house and out of her life.

  *

  Boone tried to wrap her head around a life without Grey. She w
ent to the bar the next morning and worked, but she felt numb as she went through the motions. There was a large void inside her. A void she doubted would ever be filled again.

  She helped her staff during lunch, and when it was over, she sat down and had a beer. She knew she needed to go see Phoebe, but wasn’t sure she could stand seeing Grey, knowing she couldn’t kiss or hold her. But she couldn’t turn her back on Phoebe.

  She drove out to Serene Pathway and walked into the office. Grey looked so beautiful sitting at her desk, she almost turned and left. How was it possible that this woman no longer shared her life?

  “Hi, Grey,” she said quietly.

  “Hi, Boone.”

  “Is Phoebe around?”

  “She actually is at a job interview.”

  “Really? She didn’t mention that yesterday.”

  “It was kind of last minute. The company called Connie today and asked if we had anyone, so we sent Phoebe.”

  “Do you think she’s ready?” Boone asked.

  “I wouldn’t have let her go if I didn’t think so.”

  “I guess that’s true.”

  Boone stood uncomfortably. She knew she had to leave, but she wanted to reach out to Grey and ask her to please rethink her decision. Boone knew in her heart of hearts that they belonged together and felt that deep down, Grey knew it, too.

  “Okay, well then, I guess I’ll take off. Let her know I stopped by, please.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll see you later.”

  She drove back to the bar and grabbed a beer. She sat at the bar watching baseball. She didn’t care who was playing or who was winning. She only cared that Grey had left her. She had another beer and then another. She lost track of time when Dani sidled up next to her at the bar.

  “What are you doing here so late?” Dani asked.

  Boone looked up and noticed it was after six.

  “I guess I lost track of time.”

  “Well, you’d better get home and get dinner ready for the little woman.”

  “I should get home.” Boone stood and wobbled a little on her feet.

  “You okay?” Dani said.

  “I’m a little tipsy,” Boone admitted.

  “You need a ride home?”

  “If you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t. So, everything okay with you?”

  “Not so much, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay,” Dani said. “Let’s get you home.”

  They arrived at Boone’s house and Dani walked in with Boone.

  “You want me to help you with anything?” Dani said.

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks for the ride.”

  “So, is there trouble in paradise?”

  “I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I can help you forget.” Dani moved close to Boone. She wrapped her arms around Boone’s neck.

  Boone peeled Dani’s arms off her.

  “Not a good idea. Thanks, but no thanks.”

  “Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

  Boone felt alone after Dani left and wondered if she should have taken her up on her offer. But she knew she’d made the right decision. Dani wasn’t Grey. No one was or ever would be.

  *

  Grey threw herself into her work. She doubled her sessions and worked on her outreach program. Every day felt emptier than the day before, no matter how hard she worked. She worked all day and went home every night to an empty house. She hadn’t anticipated just how hard life would be without Boone. They had gotten so close so fast and it had felt so right. She just wished Boone didn’t own a bar where people like Tanner hung out. Boone was right. Most people at the bar were responsible in their behavior. But not all. And it reminded her too much of everything she fought so hard against in her life. But she missed Boone terribly.

  She set up speaking arrangements at local schools. She was visiting a local university and there was a large turnout. She was starting to feel better about things. She had several people come up to her after her presentation to sign up as volunteers. Things were definitely looking up. She glanced up from her signup sheet to see a tall, attractive woman with short gray hair and steel blue eyes looking at her. Her heart stopped as she looked into the eyes. They reminded her so of Boone’s.

  The woman smiled a soft, knowing smile.

  “I admire your work,” she said.

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m Professor Carnes, but you can call me Sarah.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Grey said.

  “I’d like to buy you coffee and talk to you more about your shelter.”

  “That would be great. Let me get my things put away here.”

  “Can I help?”

  “No, thanks. I’ve got it.” She packed her bag with the signup sheet and her pamphlets then turned to Sarah. “I’m ready now.”

  Sarah walked her to the student union and the coffee shop inside. She ordered their drinks while Grey found a table in the corner. Something about Sarah made her feel very comfortable, which made her very uncomfortable and nervous.

  Sarah joined her and set the coffees down.

  “They’re cinnamon express. I hope you like it. It’s my favorite.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Grey said.

  “I should start by telling you I’m a professor of women’s studies.”

  “That’s good to know. It also explains your interest in my shelter.”

  “All women should be interested in your shelter.”

  “I agree.”

  “So, I’d like to set up a program with you and my students.”

  “How so?” Grey asked.

  “I’d like to make it part of my curriculum for them to volunteer a couple of hours a week at your place.”

  “Well, while I appreciate the offer, I don’t know if we could accommodate that many volunteers.”

  “Fair enough. What would be more realistic?”

  “Maybe four hours a term?”

  “That’s all?” Sarah sounded surprised.

  “Well, how many students are in your classes?”

  Sarah laughed.

  “I have over two hundred students a term. I suppose I wasn’t thinking very clearly, was I?”

  “That’s okay. I appreciate your enthusiastic offer. I just want to make sure we can accommodate all the help. And I think an additional four hundred hours a week would be extreme.”

  “Okay, well what about offering students to volunteer there as one of the projects in the class? I often give them choices of real life opportunities every term for a major portion of their grade. Can I list your shelter as an option?”

  “That would be great,” Grey said.

  “Excellent. We should meet again to hammer out the details.”

  “Sounds good.” Grey took the last sip of her coffee.

  “How about over dinner next week?”

  Grey was immediately uneasy. She felt like she was being asked on a date and didn’t know how to answer.

  “I’m sorry,” Sarah said. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Is dinner too much?”

  “No, I’m sorry. It was just so unexpected.”

  “Was it? You’re an attractive woman. We had a nice time over coffee. We clearly have much to talk about. Why is dinner such a stretch? Oh, wait a minute, are you involved with someone?”

  Grey sat silently. No, she wasn’t involved with anyone. Much as she’d like to be, she’d ended things with Boone and had to accept that. But was she ready to date again so soon? She chided herself for being so foolish. Why not go out with Sarah?

  “I’m not involved. I was until recently, though. I guess I’m just a little gun shy.”

  “Understandable. I’m sorry if it was a bad experience,” Sarah said.

  “It wasn’t a bad experience.” Grey struggled to explain. It had been wonderful. Boone was an incredible woman and had been a fantastic partner. What could she say to Sarah? “We s
plit up amicably. She and I just weren’t on the same page.”

  “How so?”

  “It’s complicated.” Grey knew it sounded lame.

  “It always is,” Sarah said. “So no to dinner?”

  “Dinner would be fine,” Grey said before she could stop herself. She felt bad hurting Sarah over feelings for Boone that she knew she needed to get over.

  “Somehow I feel like you’re settling for it, rather than excited about it, but I’ll take it. I’d enjoy more time with you and I look forward to getting to know you better.”

  Grey knew Sarah was trying to be nice, but her words just made Grey more uncomfortable.

  “So, do you want me to pick you up for dinner or how would you like that to work?” Sarah went on as if Grey was completely agreeable.

  “Why don’t we meet somewhere?” Grey suggested.

  “Sure. How about La Hacienda? They have great margaritas there.”

  “That sounds great. Wednesday at seven work for you?”

  “That will be perfect,” Sarah said. “I look forward to it.”

  She walked Grey out to her car.

  “I really enjoyed meeting you,” Sarah said.

  “It was nice meeting you, too.”

  “I look forward to Wednesday,” she said as Grey climbed into her car.

  “Me, too,” Grey lied. Nothing could be further from the truth.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Boone was spending way too much time at the bar. She knew this but couldn’t help it. She had no desire to do anything else with her time. She’d even given up on her visits with Phoebe. Phoebe got the job, so was working all day and then helping at the shelter, where she still lived, at night. Boone had seen her a couple of times, but Phoebe was really too busy in her new life to worry about. Besides, the only time she could really visit her was in the evening, and by then Boone had normally had too much to drink.

  Dani was a constant at Boone’s side, offering her comfort in her time of need. Boone kept saying no, though she missed the company of a woman. She missed Grey more, and that was what kept her from enjoying Dani or anyone else.

  Work was busy and she used that as an excuse to spend all her time there. It was too cold for pool parties at her house by then, but she still had people over after the games on Saturdays to maintain some sense of normalcy in her life. But after the people left, she was alone again, and the void that filled her threatened to consume her.