Secret Agent Grandma

by R. L. Stine

  The whole time, Grandma goes on chanting. A chill runs through your mutated body. You finally realize what she’s reciting.

  It’s a nursery rhyme, all right. But with some major changes in the words:

  “Roses are red

  Violets are blue

  What you didn’t know was …

  The rose would be YOU!”

  THE END

  “Sophie!” You stare at your friend.

  She grins. “Just kidding. About the torture part. But I do think we should capture your grandma.”

  A horrible thought hits you. “Oh, no!” you gasp. “If the woman in the garden is an alien, then the woman I saw at the train station must be my real grandmother!”

  What should you do? Your real grandma is in danger. But you and your friends are in danger too! Maybe the whole world is in danger from the alien. You don’t know why she’s here!

  Try to capture the alien Grandma on PAGE 73.

  Try to find and rescue your real grandmother on PAGE 51.

  “We better do something about the eggs,” you decide. “I think Grandma will stay put for a while.”

  You, Sophie, and Andrew approach the rose garden. Dozens of large purple eggs lie scattered on the ground. They’re not pulsing or glowing anymore.

  “What do you think they are?” Sophie whispers.

  “I don’t know,” you admit. “They could be alien food. Or alien flower bulbs …”

  “Or little alien monsters waiting to hatch,” Andrew adds.

  You glare at him. “Thanks for pointing that out.” You gaze back at the rows of roses, wondering what to do.

  And you can’t help noticing that it’s getting dark.

  “What if we stick them in the fridge?” Andrew tugs at his messy hair. “It would be too cold for them to hatch, and we can have them analyzed at a lab tomorrow.”

  “Or maybe we should squash them.” You know it sounds harsh, but it might be the safest thing to do.

  Which is it going to be? Squash the eggs on PAGE 126.

  Refrigerate them on PAGE 56.

  The sparks from your fingers short-circuit the orange force field around your grandmother.

  Grandma shakes her head a few times. Then she smiles at you.

  “Cookie!” she exclaims. “Good. I see you have everything under control. I knew I could count on you.”

  You wave your hand at the cowering yellow-eyed creatures again. Sparks fly at them. “Wh-wh-what’s going on?” you stammer.

  Grandma beams. “Awww,” she coos. “My little baby is growing up. You’ve reached the age when you can use your powers.”

  Powers? So it’s true?

  You are an alien after all!

  Your grandma is Mithra-Dithra. Together, you take over the world.

  You put Ginny and Chuck in charge of their very own solar systems. And you make the yellow-eyed thugs your galactic chauffeurs.

  THE END

  “Yes,” Grandma croons. “I think my baby is hungry.”

  You gaze up at the huge rose bush. Could it be? Is it … moving?

  Your heart pounds triple time. One of the enormous roses bends down toward the cab driver. In a flash, it gobbles him up. You shut your eyes. But you can still hear the cab driver’s muffled screams.

  Then — silence.

  Trembling, you open your eyes.

  Oh, no! The gigantic flower is inches from your head!

  “Good, baby,” Grandma coos. “You ate every bite of dinner. So now you get to have a nice treat for dessert!”

  Eek!

  You have a terrible feeling you know what dessert is going to be!

  Well, what did you expect with a nickname like Cookie?

  THE END

  You reach toward the box of hands. Your stomach lurches, but you have to find out if they’re real.

  Your fingers gently poke at the flesh.

  Rubber!

  You let out a huge sigh. “They’re fake!” you exclaim.

  “That doesn’t explain why they’re here,” Sophie points out.

  Andrew searches the closet over by the window. “There are feet in this closet,” he tells you.

  Before you can go over to look, you hear footsteps on the stairs.

  Grandma!

  “Quick! We have to get out of here!” you whisper hoarsely. The footsteps are coming closer.

  “If we leave now,” Sophie says, “she’ll see us!”

  Sophie is right.

  Your eyes desperately scan the room for a place to hide. Or a way out. Your gaze lands on the window.

  Do you dare?

  Or should you pop into the closet?

  To go out through the window, turn to PAGE 106.

  To hide in the closet, turn to PAGE 82.

  “What a mess!” Grandma glances around the wrecked baggage car. “Help me find my suitcases. Then we can get out of here.”

  You spot a suitcase with your grandmother’s name on it. The top is popped open. Papers slide out of it onto the floor.

  “Found one!” you call. As you place the papers back into the suitcase, several files catch your eye.

  TOP SECRET! CONFIDENTIAL! SPECIAL GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS! are stamped all over the files.

  Grandma darts over and snatches the files out of your hands.

  “Thanks,” she says. She shoves the papers into the suitcase and snaps the lid shut.

  You stare at her. What is your grandmother doing with secret government files?

  You’re about to ask her when the door flies open again.

  “Thank goodness I found you before it’s too late!” a voice cries.

  It’s the other Grandma!

  Face the twin Grandmas on PAGE 55.

  “Run along now,” Grandma tells you.

  You bound out of her room, downstairs, and out the back door. You hate to admit it, but your own grandmother gives you the creeps. You can’t shake the feeling that something is very wrong.

  Sophie and Andrew are sprawled on your back porch.

  “Hey, guys,” you greet them. “What’s up?”

  “We’re hungry!” Sophie announces. “We need brownies.”

  Andrew nods. “Or we’ll collapse before the big event.”

  “What big event?” you ask, leading them into the kitchen. You set a plate of Mom’s fresh brownies on the table.

  Sophie and Andrew are too busy munching to answer. Finally, Sophie swallows. “Milk,” she croaks. “Give me milk!”

  You grab the milk carton. You hold it over Sophie’s head. “Tell me what the big event is,” you insist. “Or I’ll give you a milk shampoo!”

  Andrew snorts. “How about a milky way shampoo?” He holds up a newspaper. “Check this out.”

  You grab the newspaper and scan the article. “Meteor shower tonight,” you read aloud. “Cool!”

  You peer at the tiny map. Then your eyes widen. “Hey! That’s my house!” you sputter. “Fifteen years ago, a meteor crashed here. Right in our rose garden!”

  Turn to PAGE 65.

  “Jump,” Grandma whispers down to you. “These aren’t the good guys.”

  The helicopter is already lifting away. You glance at the ground below you. Yikes!

  “Grab the disk out of my sock,” Grandma continues. “Don’t let them see you do it. Take it straight to the address on the label. You’ll be safe there.”

  She has the special disk on her after all! Cool!

  You slip the disk out of her sock. Grandma climbs up as if nothing is wrong. You take a deep breath and let go of the ladder.

  After jumping from a moving train, this doesn’t seem so bad. You land and take off running.

  All this fuss over some stupid computer program! You dart into some bushes and examine the disk. The address on the label isn’t too far from your house. You head off in the right direction.

  Turn to PAGE 123.

  “Hold it!” the reporter yelps. “No way am I going to miss the story of the century!”

  “Shut up!�
� you shout. You notice Andrew and Sophie hanging back in the doorway. Their eyes are wide open, staring at you. “It’s a lie!” you wail at them.

  “Cookie! How can you say that? Of course it’s true.” Grandma holds out her seven arms to hug you.

  “This is great stuff!” the reporter cheers. “Child discovers alien identity. Alien confesses all! I see a promotion for me!”

  At least somebody’s happy here, you think.

  Cheer up! Seven arms could come in handy. And maybe, if Grandma’s movie is a big hit, she’ll let you be her manager.

  THE END

  You sneak back toward home. You try to stay out of sight.

  By the time you pass your house, you’re pretty sure you’re safe. You check the address on the computer disk again. You wonder what’s on the disk. What makes it so valuable?

  You can’t resist. You dash into your house. In your room, you switch on your computer and slip it into the drive.

  Your eyes widen. “Awesome! Totally, completely, amazingly awesome!” You can’t take your eyes off the screen.

  All the next year’s computer games are on this disk. You scroll through the files. Every major company!

  You can play them all before anyone else!

  You click open a file. Whoa — neat! Nuclear Ninja added new music! You open another. Destroyer added four new levels! This is fantastic. You could sit here for hours!

  BANG! CRASH! WHAM!

  You’re so startled you fall off your desk chair. When you glance up, you discover a thug in an overcoat and sunglasses standing in your doorway. Your broken-down doorway. And there’s another leaning in your window. Your smashed window.

  Uh-oh. Guess what?

  It’s GAME OVER for you!

  THE END

  Suddenly, your flashlights blink out.

  “Oh, no!” you gasp. “What’s wrong with the flashlights?”

  “Look at the sky!” Sophie yells.

  You glance up. Your mouth drops open in awe.

  The sky is lit up with shooting stars. Hundreds of specks of light dance in the blackness. The night becomes almost as bright as day.

  “There must be hundreds of them,” Andrew murmurs.

  You gaze at the dazzling sight. “It’s beautiful,” you say. Then you glance over at the rose garden. You begin to tremble.

  The eggs are completely visible in the brilliant light of the meteor shower. They bounce around on the ground. You hear a low rumbling sound, like a refrigerator humming.

  It’s coming from the eggs.

  “I think they’re about to hatch!” you shout.

  Turn to PAGE 131.

  To quote Andrew, “Are you nuts?”

  You must not read these books very often.

  Otherwise you would know better.

  Do you actually think that Grandma will tell you why she has boxes of hands and feet? Why she has a mask that could pass for your mom? What the deal is with the rose garden and the meteors?

  Okay, maybe she will tell you.

  But then what will she do?

  Chances are, it won’t be pretty.

  Very, very quickly and very, very quietly turn back to PAGE 127. And make a different choice.

  “You’re probably right,” Sophie says. “We should destroy the eggs.”

  “Yeah,” Andrew agrees. “Better safe than sorry, I guess.”

  “Do you think stepping on them will work?” Sophie asks. “They look awfully big and sturdy.”

  “One way to find out,” you tell her. You stride toward one of the eggs. You lift up your foot and bring it down hard.

  KA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!

  Whoops.

  Guess you didn’t notice the little purple land mines mixed in with the purple alien eggs. Grandma placed them in the garden to protect her babies.

  Oh, well. Better luck next mine….

  THE END

  All clear!

  Sophie pulls out one of the shoe boxes from the closet. “She’s got other stuff in here, too,” she informs you. She holds up a wig. Andrew reaches in and pulls out a mask.

  It looks exactly like your mother!

  You feel your own very real face go pale. “Why would Grandma have something like that?” you ask.

  “Hey, look at this!” Sophie holds up a pile of newspaper clippings. “They’re all about the meteor shower tonight.”

  “I don’t get it!” you wail. “None of this makes any sense. Why would Grandma have these things? Why is she obsessed with the rose garden? And those clippings! What is up with all this?”

  “I think you should go ask her,” Sophie suggests.

  “Are you nuts?” Andrew scoffs. “We should wait until the meteor shower and see if she does something.”

  Follow Sophie’s advice and ask Grandma “What’s up?” on PAGE 125.

  Wait and see what happens during the meteor shower on PAGE 5.

  “Quick!” you shriek. “Lift!”

  You, Chuck, and Ginny hoist the heavy mirror over your heads. It pierces the orange beam. The rays bend and bounce off the mirror—straight at the two thugs.

  The two creatures stand frozen in place.

  “It’s working!” you cry. “Grab Grandma!”

  You lean the mirror against a luggage rack, aiming the beam directly at the creatures. Chuck and Ginny lift Grandma out of the chair. She’s still out cold, but at least you’ve rescued her from the force field.

  “Out the back!” you shout. “Hurry!”

  Chuck and Ginny drag Grandma out the back door. You follow right behind them.

  Oops. You forgot you were in the last car.

  “So, genius,” Ginny says as she strains to hold up Grandma. “Now what?”

  Turn to PAGE 96.

  “Do you know what EMPLEH means?” you ask Grandma.

  “EMPLEH?” she repeats. “No, I’ve never heard that word before. Why do you ask?”

  “I saw it written on that train window.” You turn and point back to the train car. “I think it’s some kind of message.”

  Grandma grabs your hand and links her arm through yours. “My, my,” she coos. “You have such an imagination.”

  Is Grandma walking faster? Or is that your imagination, too?

  “It’s wonderful to see you after so long,” she gushes, hurrying down the platform. “And I can’t wait to see your mother’s lovely rose garden.”

  “Yeah, right,” you murmur. You’re still trying to figure out what EMPLEH means.

  You snap your fingers. “I know what it means!” you cry.

  Turn to PAGE 31.

  You gaze down at the garden. You wonder how long it will be before the aliens come after you.

  Then you notice something strange. The creatures slither easily out from under the objects you’ve thrown down on them. But the aliens near the radio shrivel up and fall over!

  “The radio!” you shout. “It destroys them! They must be allergic to sound waves or something.”

  “Awesome!” Andrew yells. “We found a weapon!”

  You dash into your room and get your radio. Sophie grabs your mp3 player. Andrew snatches an old CD player. You race downstairs and into the garden.

  You aim the radio at a group of creatures. Their slimy skin puckers, turning black. They curl up. Little wisps of smoke rise from their crinkly bodies.

  It’s working!

  Sophie and Andrew use the mp3 and CD players in the same way. Little aliens are shriveling all around you.

  “Nooo!” a voice bellows.

  Grandma!

  Turn to PAGE 112.

  “Get ready!” you holler.

  Sophie and Andrew clutch their water guns. You aim yours directly at the pulsing, humming egg in front of you.

  The night sky brightens even more. With a roar, the eggs burst open! Bits of purple eggshell rain down on you. Creatures crawl out of the eggs. Each one of them is different!

  A striped, football-shaped creature scuttles up to you on twelve spidery legs. Your finger tightens o
n the trigger of your water gun.

  Go to PAGE 32

  BEWARE!!

  DO NOT READ THIS

  BOOK FROM

  BEGINNING TO END!

  Yes! You’re psyched for your Tiki Island vacation. Then you go snorkeling — and a shark appears, looking for lunch!

  If you hide from the shark in an underwater cave, you’ll find a sunken ship — with a real skeleton crew. If you make one wrong move, you could become the newest crew member!

  If you fight the shark with a sharp stone from the ocean floor, you learn that the stone has evil powers. You’ve got to get rid of it fast. But first you have to battle ghostly warriors and brave an active volcano!

  You’re in control of this scary adventure. You decide what will happen. And how terrifying the scares will be!

  Start on PAGE 1. Then follow the instructions at the bottom of each page. You make the choices. If you choose well, you’ll save Tiki Island from a terrible fate. But if you make the wrong choice … BEWARE!

  SO TAKE A DEEP BREATH. CROSS YOUR FINGERS. AND TURN TO PAGE 1 TO GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS!

  “Hurry up, Gina,” you call to your cousin. The wooden dock creaks as you jump up and down. “The water’s perfect for snorkeling.”

  “I’m coming! I’m coming!” Gina yells. “Yeow! I should have worn sandals. The sand is burning my feet.”

  You watch Gina hop across Tiki Island’s famous white sand. Glancing around, you remember how much fun you had visiting the island last year.

  Lucky for you, your mom is a travel writer. When she wrote about Tiki Island a year ago she brought your whole family. With Gina along this time, you know you’re going to have a blast!

  Gina jumps onto the dock to join you. She dumps her snorkeling gear next to yours. Then she gazes across the shimmering water. “Wow!” she gasps. “This place is amazing!”