Can't Forget You

by Rachel Lacey

  Then he rolled toward her, his expression turned serious. “I need to go.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Jessica steeled herself against Mark’s words. He’d promised not to shut her out this time, and yet, here he was, running out on her anyway. It was barely lunchtime. She’d hoped they could at least enjoy a meal together before he had to leave.

  He gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m supposed to be at work right now.”

  And…she felt like an idiot for jumping to conclusions. “Really?”

  He slid out of bed and started pulling on his clothes. “Didn’t have much on the schedule this morning, and I needed to see how you were doing, but Ethan and Ryan may be wondering where I am by now.”

  She wrapped the sheet around herself and hugged her knees. “What will you tell them?”

  He buttoned his jeans and then straightened. “I don’t…why would I tell them anything?”

  Right. Because he was a man, a man who preferred not to communicate at all whenever possible. But maybe he was right this time. Their relationship felt too delicate to share just yet, especially given their history together. “Maybe it’s best if we keep this between us for now.”

  He nodded, gave her a quick kiss, and headed for the door, still pulling his shirt over his head. After he’d gone, she lay back in bed, waiting for it all to sink in. She and Mark had just had sex. Really, really great sex. And he’d even opened up a little bit afterward.

  Wow.

  He was still holding back, and that might not ever change. His concern for her was real. She had no doubt of that. And the chemistry between them was scorchingly real. Beyond that, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t help feeling excited at the possibility of a second chance.

  Her head ached. What else was new? But today her fatigue was compounded by the very real fact that she hadn’t slept well last night, fretting about receiving her MRI results. And now that she had them, she was no closer to figuring out what was wrong with her, but she couldn’t think about it anymore right now without getting frustrated. She’d missed her last training session with the girls because of a migraine so she really needed to sneak in a quick jog this afternoon or they were going to leave her in the dust at the Adrenaline Rush next weekend.

  She grabbed her phone to check her messages, but a glance at the calendar on her screen stopped her cold. She had appointments scheduled this afternoon with two more contractors, and she’d nearly forgotten all about it. Groaning, she climbed out of bed, took a shower, and headed to the spa.

  The first contractor was someone she knew—he’d done some work for her at the spa a few years back. He was reliable, and he did good work. The second contractor was the daughter of one of her father’s friends, and Jessica was so smitten with the idea of a woman building her spa cabins that she’d nearly hired her on the spot. But in the end, she had to make a responsible decision, and Melissa Gormier’s quote might not be competitive. Still, as she climbed back into her car, Jessica found herself looking for an excuse to hire Melissa.

  It was just past four, and oops, she’d forgotten to grab lunch in her rush to get to the spa after Mark left. That might explain the buzzing in her ears.

  Food. Stat.

  Her cell phone chimed, and she found a flurry of text messages from Carly, Gabby, Mandy, and Emma. Apparently, an impromptu meet-up was happening at the bakery to look at photos from Gabby’s wedding. And while a sandwich would be better, a cup of coffee and a slice of fresh apple pie might just hit the spot too.

  Jessica turned her car toward downtown and parked by the town square near the bakery. The memorial gardens Emma had designed this past summer bloomed to her left with red, orange, and purple mums, a beautiful splash of fall color in the town square.

  She pulled open the door to the bakery, and the warm, sweet scent inside put an instant smile on her face. She saw Emma and Mandy already seated at a table near the back, looking at something on Mandy’s phone. Emma spotted Jessica and waved.

  “Be right over,” she called. First, she needed sustenance. Her stomach gurgled in agreement.

  “What can I get for you?” Carly asked with a smile from behind the counter.

  “Coffee, definitely. And I was thinking pie, but those apple turnovers look amazing.”

  “They are,” Carly confirmed with a nod. “I’ve got apple everything this month while they’re fresh. Baked those this morning.”

  “Perfect. Coffee and an apple turnover.”

  “Coming right up.”

  Jessica checked her phone again while Carly dished up her coffee and turnover to see if Mark had called or texted. He hadn’t, and it would be ridiculous for her to read anything into it. He’d been at work, probably out on the zip-lines all afternoon. But hopefully he’d text her later…Grumbling at herself for being so needy, she paid, gathered her food, and made her way over to the table where Emma and Mandy were sitting.

  “Hey,” Emma said, scooting over to make room for her. “How are things?”

  “Okay.” Jessica took a big sip of her coffee, feeling it burn all the way down to her stomach. “And you? How’s the baby?” She glanced down at the baby bump rounding out the front of her friend’s blouse.

  “I think she’s having a dance party right now,” Emma said with a giggle, rubbing her stomach. “It’s like I’ve been eating sugar or something.” An empty plate in front of her at the table confirmed she’d been doing just that. “Want to feel?”

  “Um, sure.” Jessica held her hand out, and Emma placed it on her stomach. Almost immediately, Jessica felt a little tap from inside, like a tiny hand giving her a fist bump. “Whoa. That’s so cool.”

  “It is, right? Growing a human is the coolest thing ever.” Emma was beaming.

  Jessica still felt a little bit light-headed so she took a big bite of her apple turnover, hoping the sugar would do its thing for her too.

  “You okay?” Emma asked.

  “Yeah, you do look a little pale.” Mandy frowned at her.

  “Low blood sugar,” Jessica said once she’d swallowed. “Missed lunch, but I’m making up for it now.”

  “Good plan.” Mandy took a sip of her own coffee. “Hey, we’ve been so focused on training for the Adrenaline Rush that we’re way overdue for a girls’ night, don’t you think?”

  “We are,” Emma agreed. “I’ve got classes tonight and Thursday. Are you guys free tomorrow?”

  “Works for me,” Mandy said.

  “I should be able to make it.” Jessica glanced at her calendar between bites of apple turnover. She should be able to leave the spa by seven, and she could really use a night out.

  “Count me in,” Carly said, walking up behind them. “We’re definitely behind on our gossip. In fact, Jessica, I heard a rumor you kissed Mark at the Halloween party.”

  Jessica choked on her coffee. It seared its way into her lungs, and if she wasn’t mistaken, some went up her nose too. She coughed and spluttered. “What?”

  Emma and Mandy stared at her, eyes wide.

  Carly was grinning like a fool. “Way to go, girlfriend. He is seriously hot, especially with that whole silent, mysterious vibe he’s got going. He’s always been my favorite of the Off-the-Grid trio. No offense, Emma.”

  “None taken.” Emma was grinning now too. “You and Mark? When did this happen?”

  “I never said…” Jessica coughed again. Her eyes were watering, and she definitely had coffee up her nose.

  Mandy raised her eyebrows dramatically. “I don’t think you have to at this point.”

  “Aw, man, it looks like I just missed something good!” Gabby hurried up to their table, iPad in hand. “That’s what I get for being late.”

  “Jessica was just about to tell us all about kissing Mark at the Halloween party,” Emma said.

  “What?” Gabby dropped the iPad. It clattered to the table, sloshing coffee onto Jessica’s fingers.

  Goddamn coffee. She cleared her throat. “Um.”

  They were
all staring at her with huge smiles on their faces.

  “Fine.” She wiped her fingers on a napkin. “I kissed Mark at the Halloween party. And…a couple of other times.” No need to mention the fact she’d slept with him that morning, not until she and Mark had had more of a chance to talk.

  “Yes!” Emma fist-pumped the air.

  Gabby looked thoughtful as she picked up her iPad. “When I first met you, I thought you guys hated each other, but it was attraction all along, wasn’t it?”

  “I did hate him, or I tried really hard to anyway.” Jessica swallowed the last bite of her turnover. “He was an idiot in high school. He broke my heart, and he hasn’t changed a bit so I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time kissing him.” Or sleeping with him.

  “Well, I didn’t know him in high school,” Gabby said. “But he strikes me as a really honorable guy. Are you sure he hasn’t changed?”

  Jessica stared into her mostly empty coffee cup. “He is honorable. He always has been. He wouldn’t hurt me on purpose…but he’s just so closed off. I was naïve enough in high school to think we’d be fine anyway, and look where that got me.”

  Emma frowned. “It’s true. He’s always been like that.”

  “Yes, he has. We were inseparable back then. We were soulmates, or at least I thought we were. But while I was planning our future together, he was enlisting in the Army. He didn’t even tell me until the day before he shipped out.”

  “He didn’t tell you he’d enlisted?” Carly asked, eyes wide.

  Jessica shook her head. “He’s just…he’s all in his own head. He never opens up, not to me, not to anyone.”

  Emma sighed. “The hopeless romantic in me wants to tell you to keep trying until you crack through that tough shell of his.”

  “I want to. I do.” Jessica polished off her coffee, relieved that the buzzing in her ears had stopped. “I know it was awful for him losing his parents so young and growing up in foster care. He’s used to being on his own. I’m not sure he even knows how to be in a real relationship. What if it’s too late for him to change?”

  “I think you need to be careful,” Emma said quietly.

  Jessica’s back stiffened. “Why?”

  “Because it’s obvious that you care about him. And you’re right. He might be too much of a loner to ever settle down. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  * * *

  It was past eight before Mark finished up at Off-the-Grid that night. He didn’t like the way he’d left Jess that morning. He’d gone over out of concern, not expecting to wind up in her bed, and then he’d had to run off and leave her to get to work. He was far from an expert where women were concerned, but even he knew that wasn’t ideal.

  And besides that, he wanted to see her again.

  He loaded Bear into the car with him and then made a quick stop at the drugstore for condoms…just in case. He wouldn’t be caught empty-handed twice. Then he headed for Jess’s house. When he saw her car in the driveway, his pulse started to pound. She’d always had this effect on him, but now it was even stronger.

  He parked behind her car and walked to the front door. She pulled it open before he’d had a chance to knock, wearing a loose T-shirt and leggings.

  “I wasn’t sure I’d see you again today,” she said.

  He hadn’t been sure either, until a few minutes ago. “Just left work. Bear’s with me.”

  “Bring her in. Did you eat yet?” She motioned for him to come inside.

  He shook his head as he unloaded Bear from the backseat and followed her inside.

  “We could order a pizza,” Jess suggested. “I don’t really feel like going out.”

  “You okay?” He pulled her into his arms.

  She nodded, her body so soft and warm against his. “Just tired.”

  “I should let you rest.”

  “I’m not that tired.” She smiled against his chest. “I was hoping you’d come.”

  Good. That was the only thought that broke through his lust-filled brain. When Jess was in his arms, he couldn’t think of anything else. Gently, he tipped her face to his, and the moment their lips met, he felt his whole world come into focus. Kissing Jess felt like coming home.

  She slid her hands into his back pockets. “Because if you hadn’t come over, I couldn’t do this.” And she bent her head to kiss his neck, applying a gentle suction with her mouth that turned his blood to steam.

  “Woof!”

  “No one asked your opinion, Bear.” But he could hear the laughter in Jess’s voice.

  “I could put her back in the car.”

  Jess peeked up at him, a half smile on her face. “Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re joking.”

  He was joking. Mostly. But seriously, the damn mutt needed to stop interrupting every time he tried to kiss Jess.

  She slipped from his arms and knelt before the dog. “Did you need a few kisses of your own?” She took Bear’s head in her hands and placed a kiss right between her eyes.

  The dog’s tail went nuts, swishing back and forth against the hardwood floors. Such a ridiculous-looking thing with those enormous, fluffy ears. He never would have picked her if he’d gone to the shelter looking for a dog. Couldn’t say he minded having her around though. She was good company, cock-blocking aside.

  “Okay, so now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, is it okay if I kiss Mark again?” She was still talking to the dog.

  And he was still entertaining ideas of putting Bear in the car if she interfered again.

  Jess stood and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before picking up her phone. “So what do you like on your pizza?”

  “Anything.”

  “Okay then.” She tapped away on her phone for a few minutes and then set it down. “Done.” She stepped back into his arms. “Now where were we?”

  “Here.” He sank his hands into her back pockets, drawing her up against him as he bent his head to nibble her neck, reversing their earlier position.

  “That’s right,” she whispered. A shiver rippled through her as he traced his tongue over the pulse point in her neck.

  He was here. Bear was here. She’d ordered a pizza. And unless she kicked him out later, he was going to do things right this time, make love to her and stick around, spend the whole night if she’d have him. Because tonight, there was no place else he’d rather be.

  * * *

  Mark woke sometime before dawn, disoriented for a moment in the semi-darkness. A purple glow illuminated the room, and purplish shadows swirled on the wall. The familiar scent of incense reminded him where he was. Jess lay sprawled on her stomach on the other side of the bed.

  They’d spent only one full night together before tonight. She’d told her parents she was going to a sleepover, and he’d snuck out of his foster home. They’d driven out of town and camped on a blanket under the stars. The memory of that night had gotten him through a lot of tough times in the years since.

  He rose up on one elbow to spot the source of the bizarre purple shadows on the wall. Her lava lamp. Of course. He felt a smile tug at his lips. Not that he’d gotten to spend much time in her bedroom back in high school—her parents had forbidden them from shutting the door, which had been a smart move on their part, in retrospect—but she’d had one back then too. Blue, if he remembered correctly. It was oddly hypnotizing to lie there, watching the blobs of wax in the lamp float to the top and then sink slowly back toward the light.

  Jess’s bedroom was a peaceful place with the incense and the lava lamp. Or maybe it was just that both of those things reminded him of her, and she’d always been his source of peace.

  He rolled over, intending to slip out of bed and go to the bathroom, when he encountered another warm body in the bed on his other side.

  Bear.

  The damn dog had crawled in bed with them after they’d fallen asleep. He nudged her with his foot, and she lifted her head, fixing him with a wide-eyed, innocent stare, daring him to give her the boot. But he
r puppy eyes were no match for him. He gave her another nudge, and this time she hopped down, slinking off to the blanket Jess had put down for her in the corner.

  He got up, used the bathroom, and then walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. This happened to him a lot in the middle of the night. He’d get these random bouts of wakefulness. No doubt they were the result of his years in the military, too many shifts worked at odd hours. Too many sleepless nights.

  He climbed silently back into bed, annoyed to find Bear curled up in a furry ball by Jess’s feet. He shooed her off again.

  “Let her stay,” Jess mumbled, rolling toward him.

  “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I’m a light sleeper.” She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss. “Couldn’t sleep?”

  “Happens sometimes.”

  “I know a cure.”

  “Oh yeah. What’s that?”

  She didn’t answer. Instead, she wrapped her hand around his dick, which hardened in record time beneath her touch. A warm ache pulsed in his groin, and he pulled her closer, kissing her slow and deep.

  They kissed as the lava lamp threw swirling shadows onto the ceiling above them, as the friction between their bodies built to scorching. By the time he rolled on a condom and sank inside her, he was so far gone he couldn’t think of anything else. There was nothing but the rhythm of their bodies, the tidal wave of need rising inside him, and Jess.

  Beautiful, wonderful Jess.

  She cried out beneath him as she found release. He thrust again, his whole body shaking as he exploded inside her. He’d never felt more alive than he did at that moment. And then, as she’d predicted, he closed his eyes and slept.

  Deep. Hard. Dreamless.

  When he woke the next time, sunlight streamed through the windows. Jess was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Bear lay sprawled across the bed beside him, her head on Jess’s pillow. Jesus. What time was it? How had he not heard Jess get out of bed?

  The answer to the first question, as he squinted at the clock beside the bed, was five past eight. And as for the second, he had no explanation other than that Jess and her wonderfully peaceful bedroom had worked some kind of voodoo on him because he hadn’t slept past eight in…well, he couldn’t remember how many years.