Conflict of Interest (A Mustang Prairie Romance)

by Jackson, N. D.

  With more force than he intended, Noel ripped his front door open and was greeted by his tormentor.

  “Hi.”

  ##

  Shellie had gone out of her way to avoid her new tenant, as she referred to him, refusing to use his name would make it easier to forget him. She stayed late at the office and then spent evenings at home with Alexis just to be sure she wouldn’t run into him on the porch or, worse in the shared basement laundry room . She feared that spending too much time with him would ruin the steamy fantasies in which he made an appearance at least twice a day. The longer he remained at a distance the longer she could avoid facing the reality that a man that gorgeous would never live up to her fantasies, at least not with someone like her.

  She imagined that back in New York he dated women who would make Alexis seem plain and homely, and this idea made it easy to forget that her new tenant was new in town and she was the only person with whom he was familiar. If not for the pesky insistence of Alexis, Shellie had every intention of simply ignoring him for as long he as he lived so close. But Alexis has insisted that not only was he interested in her, which she thought was cruel except that Alexis didn’t have a cruel bone in her perfect little body, but that her grandmother would be furious to know that she wasn’t welcoming a stranger like a perfect little hostess.

  “Fine, I’ll go,” she had spat at Alexis who had been relentless for more than an hour.

  “He’s new in town and you have first dibs. Don’t squander it,” Alexis had warned, telling her that the only way to know if she was his type was to spend some time with him. “Besides, how would you feel if the only person you knew in town avoided you? He’s probably so lonely up there. It’s cruel really, Shel.”

  She could still hear those words echoing in her head as she drove to Paulo’s Pizzeria, owned by Paul Silverstein, for a large Portobello and prosciutto pizza. Paul was one of her clients and he also happened to make the best artisan pizzas she’d ever had. While the pizza cooked she walked several doors down to Carla’s Cupcakerie, another client, for a half dozen of her best creations. She left with two champagne truffle cupcakes, two butterscotch and brandy cupcakes and two of her creamy Cabernet mini-cakes. These were too special to be called simple cupcakes and she knew her dinner companion would appreciate them.

  After stopping to pick up the pizza, Shellie took a moment to carefully place tonight’s dinner and dessert on the passenger seat and strapped them in to keep them from sliding. She pulled up to the rear entrance of her house, where the trees obscured the top floor’s view, in case she chickened out. Carrying the boxes carefully into the kitchen Shellie hurried to her room to freshen up. She could hear Noel walking around upstairs, probably from boredom she decided, and instantly felt guilty. “I’m sorry Granny,” she said as she kicked off her plain black flats while she shimmied out of the basic black and red shirtdress she wore to work. She was confident her Granny Mags would understand that a man this gorgeous could make a woman go crazy if she didn’t steer clear of him.

  Staring into her newly remodeled walk-in closet with an entire wall reserved for her shoe collection, Shellie couldn’t decide what to wear to a casual dinner with a devastatingly handsome near stranger. A little black dress seemed a bit much for pizza and cupcakes, but the way he stared at her cleavage would have her naked and in his bed before the pizza cooled down if she chose any of her low cut sun dresses for which she was known. She finally settled on a French rose sundress with spaghetti straps and a cream cashmere cardigan finished off with a pair of matching pink flats adorned with white butterflies.

  Giving herself a once over in the full length mirror, Shellie spritzed some jasmine perfume on her wrists and behind her ears. With one last glance she reached for a pink rose to put in her hair before grabbing the boxes and making her way up the flight of stairs that separated them. Her heart beat faster as she closed the gap between her body and his heat awaiting her on the other side. She stood on the landing for a moment before knocking, attempting to return her breathing to its normal rhythm. This is no big deal, just dinner between neighbors, she worked hard to convince herself but Shellie knew that if Alexis was right this would be the beginning of more than a neighborly relationship. It had been more than a year since Shellie went on a date, never mind initiated one. But she was here now with food in hand and going back home to fill herself with pizza, cupcakes and wine didn’t hold quite the same appeal it had last week.

  She lifted her hand to knock and the door flew open before she could connect, catching her by surprise.

  “Hi,” she stammered holding up the boxes as offering for her intrusion. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called, obviously you have plans,” she said.

  Noel could hear the disappointment in her voice, but more importantly he saw the way the excitement in her eyes sank, leaving them less luminescent as her confidence deflated. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say. He was glad to see her, for sure, but he couldn’t find the words to encourage her to stay without her reading more into his offer. On top of that Noel thought he wouldn’t see her tonight, or any night for the matter since she was obviously avoiding him, and had begun to accept it.

  “I brought you dinner and dessert,” she pointed to the boxes he now held. “Didn’t want to visit your home for the first time without a gift,” she attempted a smile but her heart wasn’t in it. “Enjoy the pizza, it’s the best in town,” she said as she turned to descend the stairs, frustrated that she had allowed Alexis’ confidence to rub off on her. This is what happens when you forget who you are, she admonished herself.

  Noel stared into those hazel eyes, kicking himself for ever making them sad and wondering what those eyes would look like moments after she exploded from sexual gratification. Staring at the feminine pink dress she wore and the soft sweater she used to try and hide her ample breasts to no avail, Noel knew she was the only one he wanted to see tonight. She looked sexy as hell and he was pretty sure she had worn it just for him. “You look great, by the way,” he finally said to stop her before she took another step. “Thanks for dinner, care to join me?”

  A smile spread across Shellie’s face that she was determined to dampen, unwilling to appear too excited for this man obviously far too beautiful for her. She knew that seizing this opportunity, as Alexis had said, would give her the chance to let him see her as she really was and fall for her. Then again Alexis was her best friend and honor bound to make her feel good about her physical shortcomings so listening to her could cause heartache. Again.

  “Please,” he pleaded to her back.

  The emphasis on the ‘p’ sent shivers down her neck and through her nipples causing them to tense under the flimsy fabric of her dress. Shellie did her best to calm her heart and erase her smile before turning to face him. “I thought you were on your way out,” she said feigning calm and pointing down the stairs with her thumb. Ok so playing it cool wasn’t something she was used to, but she had seen enough romantic comedies to know how to do it.

  “Actually I was going in search of sustenance,” he grinned at her. “And you’ve rescued me. For that, I insist you join me for dinner and dessert.” He hoped she wasn’t in the mood to make him beg because while he hated women like that, he was also pretty sure that he would in fact beg to spend a few hours staring into those intensely sparkling eyes and fantasizing about placing his tongue on that creamy cleavage. “What do you say?” Flashing his recently whitened teeth with his most flirtatious stare, Noel hoped that would be encouraging enough. He was in no mood to embarrass himself.

  Shellie stared up at this man, as charming as he was handsome and she knew she he would be trouble. A lot of trouble. He knew that killer smile and those bedroom eyes would render her unable to resist the dinner invitation that she had presumed to make. “Well it is enough for two, and it would be rude of me to let you sit up here and eat all by yourself.” Her heart raced at her bold attempt at flirting. She hoped that he couldn’t see the worry on h
er face.

  “After you then,” he smiled, inhaling the scent of her hair as she brushed by him.

  ##

  “It’s not like he took me right there on the plush cream carpet, Al!” Shellie was trying to calm her friend’s runaway imagination before Alexis had them choosing China patterns and naming their children. Recounting last night’s events for her best friend had so far taken an hour and she wasn’t nearly to the good stuff yet. “It was just a small kiss. A small friendly kiss,” she said with no small amount of disappointment in her voice.

  Alexis giggled at her friend’s inability to hide her emotions. “Obviously you wanted him to give you more than a ‘small friendly kiss,’ she mocked, “so that should tell you something you’re not prepared to admit to yourself.”

  “I thought you owned a gym Al, not a psyc practice.” She knew it sounded harsh but sometimes she hated that Alexis knew her so well.

  “Let’s just say I’m your average Renaissance woman, well versed in many things,” she laughed to herself at the thought that she read anything more than tabloid magazines, invoices and fitness magazines. “So, tell me more about this friendly kiss.”

  “It was nothing really, embarrassing if anything. We were eating Carla’s new Cabernet cupcakes, delicious by the way, and I had some on the corner of my mouth.” Her body went up a few degrees simply thinking about the way he was looking at the dollop of frosting dotting her mouth.

  “Go on,” Alexis prodded hearing how flustered Shellie was becoming.

  Shellie took a deep breath and continued telling her friend about the events leading up to their kiss. She stammered as she recounted how Noel hadn’t said a word and just leaned over to her and kissed the corner of her mouth. Closing her eyes as she relived the moment she could still smell the rosemary and mint scent from his aftershave and feel his soft lips barely touching the outer edges of her own. Her skin tingled from the rough feel of newly sprung hairs against her soft skin and the warm breath on her ear as he slowly, excruciatingly slowly, removed his lips from hers and returned to his seat. “When I opened my eyes he was just staring at me, smiling like I was the biggest idiot he’d ever seen!”

  “Wait, what? He was probably smiling at you lustily, Shellie. You never can tell, I swear.”

  She remembered how long it took her to catch the breath that had escaped her as her body compensated for the loss of his warmth. “No he was grinning without bedroom eyes. Just grinning at me sitting there with my mouth still open and eyes closed as if he were about to kiss me, actually kiss me. What a fool!”

  “So let me get this straight,” Alexis began in disbelief, “rather than just point out that you had frosting on the corner of your mouth he thought to KISS it off and somehow you think that means he was making fun of you? That’s a move if I ever heard of one, a world class move I might add.” Alexis wished she had Shellie’s luck.

  “That’s what I thought too, until I saw him basically laughing at me!”

  “How about he was taking note of your reaction, and smiled at what he found?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well you were receptive, waiting for more,” Alexis began.

  “Please don’t remind me.” She smacked her forehead at the memory of her with closed eyes and panting breath, willing him to do more.

  “Now he knows that you’re into him and that you want to kiss him. That was a look of pleasure Shellie.”

  “You think? What if he’s one of those guys who just wants to get women to want him?”

  “Only one way to find out, right?”

  “He is very sexy Alex and he smells so good, but I’m not sure if I’m interested. My track record with sexy men who smell good is nothing to brag about.”

  “Well you could always keep pretending that you don’t have feelings for him and that he doesn’t have feelings for you, but then where will you be when he find a woman willing to admit how she feels?”

  All Shellie could do was sigh and accept that Alexis was right. It had happened before after all, which probably had something to do with why she was so gun shy about Noel. Nearly two years ago Shellie met an environmental activist named Charlie with whom she was instantly smitten. Charlie came round her office nearly every day, first under the guise of signing this petition or posting this sign in her office window and then with a coffee or wheatgrass shot or cucumber water. Finally he started bringing lunch and Shellie would close up shop and they’d sit on her floor eating and talking about the ways in which they could fix the problems of the world. Charlie was obviously into her, she could see in hindsight, but as it was happening Shellie refused to believe it. She couldn’t believe that someone like Charlie with his gorgeous flop of sandy brown hair and vibrant brown eyes could find her short legs, square hips and odd shape flattering. She had let her self-esteem, or lack of it, prevent her from pursuing a relationship with Charlie and to this day she regretted it. What’s worse is that Charlie wasn’t content to let it go at You just think you’re into me, the lame line she fed him to prevent what she was certain would be future heartache. Thinking about that painful night made her stomach ache, remembering everything he said to her as if it had just happened.

  Charlie you don’t like me in a romantic way, you just think you do because we have so much in common.

  Of course I do, Shellie. I am a grown man and I think I know the difference between friendship and what I feel for you.

  She shook her head, unwilling to believe it. Charlie stop it, please. This is hard enough as it is.

  It’s only hard because it’s something you don’t want to do. He moved closer to her, hoping his warmth would remind her of his feelings. If this was what you wanted it wouldn’t be so difficult.

  But Charlie you’re so, so perfect. And me, I’m just me. She held her arms out to her sides to let him see her in all her imperfection, certain that once he looked, really looked at her, he would see exactly what she saw and know they were incompatible. When Charlie shook his head in disbelief, Shellie knew he wasn’t going to make this easy for her.

  Shellie, my god you’re so screwed up you can’t even see what you’re doing here! I am telling you that I care for you, a lot. Why else would I find a reason to stop by and see you every goddamned day? Do you think I go around kissing every woman who makes it her mission to recycle? Do you think I climb into bed with every woman who shares my politics?

  She stared at him, her hazel eyes so wide they were beginning to dry out. She hadn’t even seen Charlie so mad after Drecker Industries simply paid a small fine for polluting the Mustang Prairie River. But she had to sit there and listen as his words struck her like dozens of miniature daggers piercing her skin and stripping her bare. Of course I don’t think that Charlie.

  Then what the hell do you think I’ve been doing these last few months, wasting my time? I care about you and I know you care about me too so the only conclusion is that you have some issue that won’t allow you to get close to me.

  She shook her head. Of course she didn’t have any issues. She was simply unwilling to let herself believe that this beautiful and kind hearted and perfect man could possibly fall for her. The last time she allowed herself to believe in that kind fairytale it took her more than 2 years to recover. Maybe I’m just being more honest about this than you are.

  If looks could kill, Charlie’s fiery stare at her would have singed her heart to the core and dropped her there on the cheap industrial carpeting in her office. Unbelievable Shellie, un-fucking-believable. What’s sad is that you probably really believe that you’re being honest.

  Shellie stepped back as he neared her. She wasn’t afraid of him but of how he made her feel. Her feelings were without a doubt real, and if he got too close she was afraid that she would throw common sense to the wind and enjoy him for as long as he would have her. Don’t come any closer Charlie, please.

  Her pleading stopped him mid-stride. Fine Shel, I care about you. I really, really do. I could love you if you would j
ust let me. He ran his long fingers through his wavy hair, obviously frustrated by the situation, but he stayed cool because he was laid back and relaxed. Shelly knew because it was what she loved most about him, even more than his good looks. Listen Shellie, I want to stay in Mustang Prairie and I can. You say the word and we can make this real and make it work.

  She just stood against the ugly beige colored wall as though it was the only thing keeping her together, and thought it just might be. No words could come to her that would make this situation better. If she told him how she felt she was sure that he’d stay because she loved him. Saying nothing made her heart ache, watching him watching her waiting for her to say words that she never could because she knew it would only be a matter of time before he realized that he did not love her and what’s worse, that he never could. So she stood and stared.

  You’re not even going to say anything? Okay Shellie have it your way. I can run the office a couple towns over and I want to if you want to make this work. If not, I have to get back home. Think about it for a few days and let me know. Okay? Charlie walked over to her slowly, not wanting to scare her further. He took her into his arms and wrapped them around her so tight she thought she might have trouble breathing. He whispered in her ear, I hope you know how much you mean to me Shellie. It would break my heart if not. He released her and placed his hands on her flushed cheeks so he could gaze into her gold-flecked eyes for what he felt would be the last time. I won’t forget you Shellie, no matter what you think. He closed his eyes and put his lips to hers with some force, hoping against hope that she would change her mind.