Drawing the Line

by KD Williamson

  Dani interrupted. “Think of it as your chance to escape for a little while.”

  “I can do that. Thank you.” He’d barely finished speaking before turning away.

  Betty rolled her eyes. “Well, bless his heart. Maybe he’ll do better if they stick him in research.”

  “That’s not nice.” Dani chuckled.

  “No, but you know it was funny.”

  “No comment.”

  “Good response. Gotta keep that reputation intact.” Betty cocked a brow.

  Dani pressed the tablet to her chest. “What are they saying now?”

  “Apparently, the new crop of residents still thinks you believe you’re better than everybody else, but someone had the bright idea that it’s because you have money.”

  “I wish. How do they come up with this stuff?” Dani didn’t care what the students and other residents thought of her. Not anymore, but the crap they came up with often left her scratching her head.

  Betty shrugged. “You’re a woman of mystery.”

  “No, I’m not. I talk to people.”

  Betty stared.

  “Well, some people. Kids, parents, nurses, and Rick should count for something.” The fact that she’d barely seen or spoken to Rick all week came to the forefront.

  “You’d think. Speakin’ of which, Austin’s been lookin’ for you all mornin’.”

  “Has one of the other doctors from his treatment team been in to see him?” Dani asked.

  “Yes. He’s havin’ trouble understandin’ that you’re not gonna be around as much anymore.”

  “I know. I’d rather for him to be confused than be back in PICU or oncology. Where is he?” Dani sighed. Getting attached seemed to be an issue for children and parents alike. She didn’t mind one little bit, especially if it helped them during a crisis.

  “Over by the Avengers last time I checked.”

  A few seconds later, she walked up beside Austin. Dani brushed his arm but didn’t say a thing. They both stood and stared at the mural.

  “Why doesn’t somebody tell ’em that the Hulk isn’t ’posed to be that kinda green so they can fix it?” Austin turned his brown eyes on her. They were clear and bright, a stark contrast to being glazed over in pain, which was the expression Dani’d become used to.

  Dani studied the mural. She didn’t know anything about comics or superheroes, but she’d lost count of the number of kids who told her the Hulk wasn’t supposed to be neon green. “I’m not sure.”

  “And he’s smilin’. The Hulk don’t smile. Why’s his teeth so big?”

  Dani wondered that too. He looked like he was poised to do a toothpaste commercial. “These are questions I don’t have the answers to.”

  Austin continued to look at her. He reached up to scratch the top of his bald head. “Why can’t you be my doctor no more? I can teach you ’bout the Hulk if you want.”

  “Because when Dr. Meda operated, all the bad stuff was taken out so you don’t need me anymore. But I’m willing to learn whatever you want to teach me about the Hulk.”

  “The really, really sick kids are the ones who get to see you the most, right?”

  “Right. I make sure they get the right medicine to help them get better.” Dani nodded and made sure to maintain eye contact.

  Suddenly, Austin wrapped his arms around Dani. She smiled and enjoyed the warmth along with a surge of affection as she rubbed a hand down his back.

  “I don’t like not seein’ you.” He sniffled and pressed his face against her chest.

  “I know you don’t, but you get to go home soon. You can see your dog and play outside. Don’t you want that?”

  He looked up at her and nodded. “I don’t wanna be sick like that again.”

  “I don’t want that for you either.”

  Austin stepped back, but he continued to lean against her. “Thor’s not right neither. He ’posed to have a hammer, not a sword.”

  She chuckled. “I’ve heard that too.” Dani eased her arm over his shoulders. “C’mon, I’ll walk you back to your room.

  “Okay.” Austin allowed himself to be guided. “Dr. Russell?”

  “Hmm?” They passed the monster trucks.

  “If I can get my mom to bring it, will you watch The Avengers with me? Or maybe YouTube it? The Hulk has the best scenes. I want you to see.” Austin looked up at her. His eyes were wide and earnest.

  “Well, I have a few minutes and a smartphone. So, let’s YouTube away.”

  Ten minutes later, Dani exited Austin’s room with a smile firmly in place. These little moments made her sometimes grueling residency bearable. Saving lives and meeting amazing kids completed the other parts of the magic equation. There was nothing else like it.

  Dani sent Rick a text, but fifteen minutes later, he still hadn’t answered. She checked the residents’ lounge and had been brave enough to pop her head into a few on-call rooms with no success. All she wanted was to have lunch with him. They had been like ships passing in the night the past few days. Typical. The part that hadn’t been so typical? Rick’s abruptness and avoidance. They usually sought each other out even if it was only for a few minutes.

  He wasn’t in surgery. Dani had checked the board. When she got to the end of the hallway, Dani pressed the button for the elevator. She hadn’t looked in the cafeteria. They needed to talk—reconnect or something.

  The elevator opened. Dani spotted Sandra. She quickly brought her cell phone up to her ear and laughed uproariously. She waved in Sandra’s direction as Sandra got off the elevator and Dani entered. Yes, she was doing her own avoidance thing, but she had reasons. She had no desire to swim in rivers Rick had dipped into. Nothing against Sandra. That night and morning was still fresh on her mind.

  The doors opened a couple times before getting to her stop. Dani let others file out ahead of her. She scanned the hallway; sure enough, Rick was leaning against the wall on the other side as he talked on the phone. He started to pace and gesticulate wildly before wiping a hand over his head. His face was pinched, as though he smelled something sour, and that expression was enough to give her pause. However, his wild eyes said the most, making him look just as anxious as Dr. Norman had been.

  In return, Dani’s heart rate doubled out of concern and empathetic distress. She walked toward him. Rick looked up. His mouth opened and closed several times..

  “Uh, yeah we’re good. I’ll catch up with you later.” He shoved his phone into his scrubs pocket. “Hey.” Rick greeted her but barely held her gaze.

  She’d had enough. The lack of eye contact was new and alarming. “What’s going on? Do I need to make a list of all the weirdness or are you just gonna save me the trouble and acknowledge it?”

  Rick glanced away again. He exhaled slowly. His shoulders hunched by the time he was done. “Dani, I…” He shook his head. “I need to get my shit together. What’s wrong with me?” Rick looked at her. “Hey, I’m sorry. I thought I’d have more time to—”

  “Time? More time for what? What is going on with you?” None of this helped her heart rate, which had yet to slow.

  “Becca.”

  That name used to have such an impact in her world. Now, it conjured up a tiny flutter in her chest laced with old pain and anger. “Becca?” Her breath left her. Being a cop was a dangerous profession. Almost every muscle in her body hardened, leaving her frozen. “Is she—”

  Rick grabbed her shoulders and squeezed. “No, it’s nothin’ like that.”

  Dani relaxed, but her heart continued to ram against her chest. “Then what?”

  Rick’s hands trailed down her arms and laced their fingers together, which weirded her out even more. “I’m a coward. I shoulda told you right away. It’s only been a week, but still.” He shook his head. “That funeral that I went to? It was her aunt’s. She left her the house. Becca’s comin’ bac
k to Atlanta.” He tightened his hold on her. “That was her on the phone askin’ me to help her move this weekend.”

  Dani looked down at their joined hands then back to Rick’s face. His eyes were glassy, hopeful, and his lips were slightly parted as if he had lots more to say.

  Stillness. It went on for several seconds until memories uncurled and tumbled through her. Four years. It had been four years. Apparently, that wasn’t enough time to wash herself clean of the whole thing. She’d stored so much away and that hadn’t been easy. Now, memories danced around her like shadows. Dani waited for the barrage of feelings to come. They were there, locked away. The pain, the anger; the sense of failure, helplessness, and abandonment. She’d gone through them all during the last legs of their relationship, the end, and beyond.

  “Dani? Say somethin’. You haven’t brought her up in a long time, but this still has to hurt.”

  Yes, she should feel something, but a blanket of numbness found its way around her, wrapping her tight. Dani held on to it. This wasn’t the time or the place, but those weren’t the only reasons. She just didn’t want to go any deeper. She squeezed his hands before pulling away.

  “Dani?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t. I have to go.” Moving on autopilot, Dani stood in front of the elevator. She stabbed at the button, willing the doors to open, and when they did, the relief that shot through her was almost overpowering.

  Chapter 4

  Rebecca peered into the cat carrier. Peyton’s green eyes narrowed, and she had the nerve to hiss. Rebecca rolled her eyes and poked a finger through the front bars of the kitty prison. Peyton growled and swatted. “God! You’re such a little bitch. I’ll let you out in a minute.”

  Peyton grumbled again. Rebecca picked up the carrier and looked up at Aunt Felicia’s house. It belonged to her now, not any of those other so-called relatives that refused to claim Rebecca after her mother died. Her house. It was a lot to wrap her head around.

  She moved slowly up the walkway. Rebecca scanned the exterior as if something had changed miraculously over the past week, taking in the earthy yellow paint and white trim. She decided to get everything painted as soon as possible.

  Change could be a good thing. Rebecca knew that for a fact. She opened the screen door. It screeched and then slammed behind her.

  The cat yowled in surprise.

  “You’re fine.” Rebecca fished the keys out of her jeans pocket and let herself in. The pungent smell of mothballs was still in the air even though she’d taken the time to search out every stash the last time she was here. She trailed a hand over the plastic-covered couch and made her way toward her old room. When she got there, Rebecca set the carrier on the bed.

  Peyton swatted at her again as she tried to open the latch. Rebecca hissed, and the cat responded in kind. She smiled and shook her head as she pulled the carrier door open completely. Peyton stepped out and stretched before sitting down and wrapping her tail around her legs.

  Rebecca scratched her behind the ears and stood. “There better not be anythin’ on the floor or claw marks in the curtains when I get back, lil miss.”

  Peyton gave her a slow blink then yawned. Her mouth opened wide, exposing sharp teeth and making her look downright demonic despite her sweet black-and-white face.

  “Becca? You in here?” Rick’s voice boomed.

  “Yeah, I’m comin’!”

  Seconds later, she nodded to Rick in greeting.

  He leaned against the back of the couch. The plastic crunched in protest as he righted himself. “You left the door open. What’s wrong with you?” He glared at her, and his lips were pressed together into a grim line.

  “There are no neighbors on either side of me. It’s fine.”

  “Whatever. This is fuckin’ Grove Park. You should know better, cop or not.” His expression didn’t change.

  Rebecca met his gaze. He stood tall, rigid, with his hands folded over his chest. Tension rolled off him, and it probably had to do with way more than just her being careless. She swallowed down the guilt that clawed its way up, but it knew a shortcut and ended up right in the pit of her stomach. “Things not goin’ well, I take it?”

  Rick snorted. “That’s a goddamn understatement, and I’m not sure I wanna talk about it.”

  Her feelings took root and grew. Rebecca maintained eye contact and whispered, “I’m sorry, Rick.” Even though she had a million questions about Dani’s reaction, she walked past him toward the door. Nothing she could say would fix things.

  “She’s barely said a word to me in two days.”

  Rebecca stopped just before she got to the door.

  Rick sighed. “I tried to avoid her this whole week and I haven’t been completely straight up yet, so I don’t blame her.”

  Surprised, she turned to look at him. He seemed pretty sure about what he wanted to do. Rebecca had expected him to jump at the first opportunity. “You mean you didn’t tell her right away? Why?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t know how to tell her. It’s like I had one fuckin’ job to do and I messed it up by waitin’ till the last minute and tellin’ her at the hospital.”

  All of this had to be killing him. “What happened?” Rebecca squirmed slightly as she waited for the answer.

  “She thought you were dead at first.”

  Rebecca sucked in a breath. Outwardly, she did her best not to respond and ask for more regarding Dani’s reactions, no matter what they were. Inwardly, every little bit fed a part of her that was starving.

  “Yeah, and when I told her what was up, she looked at me like I’d slapped her in the face.”

  So much for him being Switzerland again anytime soon. Rick was smack dab in the middle of all of it now.

  “I didn’t mean to put you in this position.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s where I am. I think all this really hurt her. I could be wrong though.” He threw his hands up. “She could be pissed as hell. I’m just not sure, and I should be. I’ve known her longer.”

  Rebecca could only stare at him. She deserved his anger. “Just…go home. I’ll just take out the things I need and hire movers as soon as I can.”

  Rick’s gaze dropped to his feet, and he didn’t say anything for several seconds. “It’s not all on you. This is my fuckin’ fault too. Let’s do this, but I’m not in the mood to talk about it anymore.”

  She nodded. Rebecca was fine with that. The only drawback was it gave her more time to think. She’d done plenty of that while a couple guys from her former squad loaded the truck back in Savannah, and the four-hour drive to Atlanta had given her even more.

  She’d told Rick the truth during breakfast last weekend: Rebecca did miss home. She also wanted to reconnect, but most of all, Rebecca wanted forgiveness. She had a hard time reconciling the person she used to be with the one she’d become.

  Quietly, Rick followed her outside. Rebecca unlocked the U-Haul trailer. The door creaked as she lifted it. Rick moved and went straight to work. He hardly looked at her. Already, she’d shaken things up, and even then, her intent remained to move forward.

  Was it selfish? More than likely. Was this going to be difficult? Yes. Big time, but here were the facts—she’d tried a few times to move on, but each time things went to shit where she ended up hurting the men who’d taken a chance on her. It had taken Rebecca a while to realize that in order to go forward, she had to face what she’d done in the past. She hoped that meant forgiveness. She would understand if it meant the opposite, but she’d be happy as hell if it meant some even ground where she and Dani could see each other for who they’d become.

  Rebecca pulled the door to the U-Haul closed and locked it with a newly purchased padlock. They still had a few more things to put in the house, but she was dying for a Coke. Despite the chill in the air, she was sweating like someone had thrown a bucket of water over her. She wiped at
the mess on her forehead, but all it did was make the back of her hand wet. Rebecca glanced up at the sky. It was still hazy, but none of the clouds looked threatening enough to spit on them.

  A white SUV with tinted windows slowed to a crawl as it got closer to the house. After a few seconds, it sped up again.

  She wasn’t even curious. Any friends she’d made growing up in the area had long since moved away. Grove Park was a somewhat desolate place nowadays. There were a lot of empty houses, and the people who remained had been around for a long time already.

  The screen door screeched as it opened. Rick walked up beside her.

  “Coke?” Rebecca asked.

  He nodded and followed her back in. They passed the boxes stacked in the living room and throughout the house. Rebecca had attempted to get rid of excess crap back in Savannah, but she feared that she hadn’t thrown away nearly enough. The house was already cluttered with Aunt Felicia’s things. Moving in and getting settled was obviously going to take a while.

  Rick leaned against the kitchen island as he guzzled the can of Coke in his hand. He burped and pointed at the remainder of the six pack on the counter. Rebecca gave him another one while she chugged the rest of hers.

  “Just to let you know, I’m not helpin’ you unpack. Who the hell moves without labelin’ the boxes?”

  They were the first real words he’d said to her in well over an hour, which wasn’t weird for them at all. But given the situation they were in, Rebecca had to admit that she’d rather know what he was thinking and feeling. She shrugged.

  He looked at her then. His gaze had weight. It nearly made her shoulders slump. Rick sighed and shook his head. He peered up at the ceiling, and when he glanced at her again, his eyes were sad, concerned. “All this might turn into a shitshow.”

  “I know,” Rebecca whispered in acknowledgement. She wanted to reach out for him, but she didn’t. She had to find her own reassurance.

  “You made some fucked-up choices back then. I know she hurt you. I know she messed up too, but the way you treated her…the way you left…” He wiped a hand over his head.