Alien Indiscretions

by Tracy St. John

  “She is the exception.”

  “No, she is the face of the typical Earther. It was their leaders who were the monsters, not the everyday people living their lives. But how could you know that? You have not bothered to talk to many of those people or to hear their stories. Instead, you made up your mind and turned a blind eye to who these Earthers really are. You are the one who is inferior, pathetic, and superstitious. You are afraid, Maf.”

  Maf’s expression was set, telling Diltan he had not reached the man at all. “Yes, I am afraid. I’m afraid of men such as you who are ready to give our legacy to these undeserving creatures. We should walk proudly into our destiny, leaving behind our names to legend. The great Kalquorian Empire, which surpassed them all! Instead, we will be lost as a mere footnote. We will disappear into the obscenity of Earther blood and that race’s madness.”

  “Accept extinction? That is the madness, Maf. I for one refuse to concede to such an ignoble fate.”

  He got a grim smile for that response. “If the masses rise, you will have no choice.”

  “The masses will not rise. This temporary hysteria will die down and sense shall restore itself.” Diltan tried to make it sound as if he believed it.

  “Sense is being restored. If exposing the lies of emperors and councilmen fractures the Empire, so be it! I will not live with anything less than the truth from my leaders and their lackeys.” Maf’s eyes glittered.

  Diltan played his last card, though he knew the game was lost when it came to changing Maf’s mind. “Anyone who foments revolution against the Empire is a traitor, Councilman.”

  The other man’s face twisted with fury. “Anyone who seeks to hide the truth from the people is a traitor. I am uncovering the lies now. I have enough evidence of those lies to bring at least Yuder, Ospar, and Rajhir to trial.”

  “The Royal Council will determine that, not you.”

  “The people call out for it, and even this reluctant council cannot ignore the will of the people. Tidro and all the rest of these abductors will follow. If the Empire crumbles, it will be because of the falsehoods propping it up, and we are better off.”

  Diltan had heard enough. He was done with politeness and decorum where Maf was concerned. “If the Empire crumbles, maybe the Basma will give you a nice job as his right hand man. In his gratitude for doing his dirty work, it’s the least he owes you.”

  The two men glared at each other. The rest held their silence, looking from one to the other. Lines had been drawn and enemies made. Now it was down to the battle.

  * * * *

  Cissy snickered as Rolat fed her a bite of ytor. It was a delicate mussel from the nearby marshlands. It held just the slightest hint of salty brine that complemented the savory sauce it had been baked in. Yet she had visions of being fed grapes as she lounged across the Nobek’s lap in the sumptuous dining room, lit in the glowing golden light of the dying day. It was impossible not to feel like a queen in the midst of fine drink, food, and doting men.

  She’d laughed all during the meal, her giggles punctuated by the clinking of dishes and glasses of leshella. Being fed by three men was too hilarious for words. “I’m going to change my name to Cleopatra,” she’d announced at one point.

  “Was she as beautiful as you?” Wal asked with overbearing sweetness, designed to make her laugh harder. The clan snickered over her amusement.

  “Reports as to what she looked like are conflicting, but she managed to bring two great men and an entire empire to their knees,” Cissy said in a mock-warning tone.

  She didn’t miss the way Diltan and Wal’s expressions sobered at that comment. After that, the two men were quieter than before. A sense of foreboding lay behind their continued teasing.

  As the meal drew to its close, Cissy decided to draw out Gloom and Doom, as she’d begun calling the Dramok and Imdiko in her head. She was pretty sure she knew what lay behind the pinched furrows between their brows. They needed to talk it out.

  She sat up on Rolat’s crossed legs and looked at Wal on her right and then Diltan on her left. “You know, it’s hard to have fun when half the room consists of sour pusses.”

  As the two blinked, Rolat mused, “Sour pussies?”

  Unfortunately, he pressed another ytor into her mouth when he said it. Cissy bellowed half a laugh before she started choking on the bite. There were shouts of alarm. Diltan’s fingers invaded her mouth to pull the ytor out as Rolat pressed hard on her diaphragm. They cleared her airway so fast that Cissy didn’t have time to panic. In fact, she went right back to laughing the moment she could.

  “Sour pussies! Oh geez, that’s funny as hell. Sour pusses, you big lug. Earther slang for worried faces. Diltan and Wal are pretending to have a good night but they’re not.”

  Everyone relaxed as they realized she was in no danger of dying in their arms. Rolat offered her some leshella to drink. “Yes, I noticed they were not having as much fun as you and I.” He looked at his clanmates. “Is it anything either of you can speak of?”

  When Diltan and Wal both hesitated, Cissy said, “I bet I know what Diltan’s problem is. Jessica said indictments were handed down today.”

  The Dramok sighed and let concern flood his expression. “Maf is going after Yuder, Rajhir, and Ospar. He’s got a list of more to accuse, if he can convince the judiciary.”

  “Mostly members of the Royal Council,” Wal added, looking even grimmer than Diltan. “Enough to bring the Empire to its knees.”

  Diltan looked past Cissy and Rolat to stare at Wal with growing angst. “They are assigning you to judge the case?”

  Wal reached for his half-empty glass of leshella and downed it. When he looked at the bottle on the table, Rolat moved it out of his reach. The Imdiko sighed but said nothing of his disappointment. Instead he told them, “My name is among the first five of a very small list. Some of those on the list I know for a fact will be unable to sit on the panel for various reasons. I will still try to bow out, of course.”

  Cissy also looked at the leshella with longing. Rolat had told her in private that Wal had been known to drink heavily when he was upset. He was not an alcoholic, but liquor attracted him as a crutch. Diltan and the Nobek had agreed years ago to make sure their sensitive clanmate would not rely on alcohol to numb his feelings.

  If Wal couldn’t have a drink, Cissy would not make him look at her imbibing either. Instead, she faced the issue as her sweet-faced companion must: head on and sober.

  She asked him, “Will they let you opt out?”

  Wal shrugged. “Possibly. Hopefully. A lot depends on how far removed they believe you are from the case.”

  “Me?”

  He smiled, and the concern-ridden face turned beautiful again. “I am courting you and you are a member of the Imperial Family. Can I see you as a lover and remain impartial?”

  Diltan frowned at the bottle of leshella, as if it was the focus of all these erupting issues. “My objectivity has been called into question because of that. Maf made a motion to have me ejected from the Ethics Committee if I don’t withdraw my suit for Cissy.”

  That made everyone gasp. Cissy’s stomach rolled over in a sick wave. She swallowed hard.

  She did not want to give up Diltan’s clan. The thought made her throat block with an aching lump more constricting than the ytor she’d choked on. The idea of even a temporary absence made her feel empty and lost.

  Well, fuck me raw. I’m attached to them. Really attached. Cecilia Kaye Salter, did you fall in love with these guys? Is that what you did?

  It was a question to be examined later. First things first. She asked them, “Does that mean we have to stop seeing each other?”

  It made her heart beat faster to see the furious intent on Diltan’s face. “Absolutely not. I refuse to bow to that. Maf can have my seat on the Ethics Committee and I’ll tell him where to shove it too.”

  Wal glanced at the leshella again. “I agree, and I wish I had the luxury to follow your lead, my Dramok. Unfortun
ately, I don’t. If I am bound to sit this case’s panel, my fellow judges could command the issue for as long as the trial lasts.” He managed a tight smile for Cissy. “However, I will not volunteer who it is I am seeing to the judiciary. We could keep it quiet and hope no one challenges the involvement.”

  Diltan shook his head. “Maf will not let you get away with it, Wal. He will scream collusion to the entire Empire.”

  Cissy scowled at the air before her. “I couldn’t bear to keep quiet about our relationship anyway. Secrets. Nothing good ever comes from them.”

  With Rolat’s chest against her back, his voice rumbled through her entire body. “And what dark mysteries are you keeping to yourself, little one?”

  Only one thing could have distracted Cissy from the current problem facing them. The old horror reared up its dark head to smirk at her.

  Yes, Cecilia. Why don’t you share the one real secret you’ve kept from everyone? The one that has weighed on you for so many years? Tell these men who might be the ones you could spend your life with. See what they think of you after that.

  She almost forgot to breathe. Her voice barely more than a whisper, she said, “I have no secrets that concern my life now.”

  Wal took her shaking hand in his and pressed it to his cheek. Gazing into her eyes, he asked, “Then why do you look so grim? Why are you trembling? Cissy, don’t you know you can trust us?”

  His look was that of a father soothing a frightened child. The care in the Imdiko’s eyes enfolded Cissy. It made her feel safe despite the looming danger. Rolat’s arms tightened around her, providing shelter from all harm. And Diltan ... Diltan leaned close to comfort her. The arrogance he wore like a shield dropped away. Its loss exposed naked concern, along with the resolve of a man who would do everything in his power to help the woman he cared for.

  I think I could tell them someday. Now is too soon, though. It must be too soon.

  Tears pricked her eyes. When had she ever felt so safe? Cissy had always been the one to watch out for others. She had been strong for her parents and her sister ever since she could remember. Now at last, she thought perhaps she might have found those who would look out for her just as much as she would for them.

  If we can get through this mess that’s going on right now, I’ll be able to find out. I think that it’s here, but it must wait a little longer.

  Staring into purple eyes that had become too familiar to be alien any longer, Cissy grasped the warmth in her chest and clung to it fiercely. Feeling the men’s strength flowing through her, she said, “It happened a long time ago. There’s no point in talking about it.”

  In a gentle version of his ‘I am Dramok and lord’ tone, Diltan said, “But you just said you hate secrets, my lovely. Cissy, you see the trouble lies and cover ups have done to this Empire. It could become so much worse. It’s enough that I have to live with it outside my private life. Don’t bring secrets in here too.”

  She reached up to caress his jaw. Its tight set relaxed under her touch. “It’s not a secret that concerns what we have ... what we’re building. I swear it, Diltan. It can wait.”

  He shook his head. “It can’t, not when it puts that pained and frightened look on your face. I can’t bear it, my beauty. Show me the trust I need from you. Let me show you I deserve it, that I can be the Dramok you can count on.”

  Tears threatened again, making Cissy’s eyes blur over. “What if what I’ve done makes you hate me?”

  Rolat shifted her so he could look her in the face. “You are incapable of such a thing.”

  Diltan laughed in disbelief. “Hate you? Cecilia, if you threatening to pull my dicks off and make me a woman didn’t do that, nothing would. I told you of the awful mistake I made with your cousin. Whatever you’ve done in the past, it can’t be that bad. I mean, it’s not like you murdered someone.”

  “Actually, I did.”

  Chapter 22

  The three men jerked in surprise. They stared at her with identical thunderstruck expressions.

  Wal was the first to recover. “Murder? Not you. Never.”

  Cissy closed her eyes, unable to look at them. She hadn’t meant to blurt out her guilt like that. How crazy was it that she, a woman with blood on her hands, had ended up emotionally invested in three men sworn to uphold law and justice?

  Karma, how you do love your irony. I knew I would have to pay for my crime eventually, but I never expected it to mean having my heart ripped apart. Going to prison for life would have been easier than losing the chance I had with these men.

  Keeping her eyes closed to hide from them, she said, “I didn’t mean to, but yes, I did set out to do harm. It ended with me killing a man.”

  “An accident then.” Wal sounded relieved.

  “Not really. No, it was murder. I can’t pretty it up and call it anything else.”

  Diltan’s tone had more of its commanding edge. “I think you should tell us the story, Cissy.”

  She drew a deep breath and opened her eyes. She would not hide her guilt or shame from them.

  How sweet that Wal looked concerned rather than judgmental. Rolat’s expression was one of interest, as if he’d met with a talking dog, gotten over his surprise, and wanted to see what would happen next. Diltan’s face was schooled to display nothing of his feelings. His eyes riveted on her face, as if he would learn all her secrets.

  There is just this one, you gorgeous bastard. It’s big enough to cover a gazillion little secrets that you probably expected.

  The cat was out of the bag. It was down to the details now. She might as well get this over with.

  “It happened back on Earth, when I was still a child. One of our neighbors was this man who was nice to all the kids in our neighborhood, about a dozen of us. He would let us use his swimming pool when it was hot. He handed out candy and bought us toys at Christmas. Nothing too expensive, just fun little games and things. We all liked him. We trusted him. He was like everyone’s favorite uncle.”

  Rolat’s face darkened like a thundercloud. Cissy could tell he thought he knew what was coming. “Tell me he didn’t gain your trust and then hurt you.”

  “Not me. Tasha.”

  The men exchanged looks. Rolat looked ready to boil over. His muscled shoulders swelled against the short sleeves of his shirt. Wal’s features tightened. He looked ready to weep and scream all at once. Diltan maintained his stern facade, but Cissy spied the way his eyes widened and mouth tightened. The intensity of his gaze tripled. There was tension playing about him, and she thought that if he lost control he might be more destructive than Rolat.

  Cissy wasn’t surprised. Sweet, inoffensive Tasha was the last person anyone would want to see victimized. It had nearly driven Cissy out of her skull when she’d found out.

  She hurried on with her story, wanting to push it all out before anyone could erupt. “One day while a bunch of us were using this man’s pool, Tasha went inside his house to use the toilet. He cornered her in there.”

  Diltan gave vent to some of his feelings. His voice thick, he said, “By the ancestors. How old was she?”

  “Twelve. He didn’t go as far as raping her, but he made her take her swimsuit off. He touched her. That’s all I know about it, because she wouldn’t tell me anymore. She said the only reason she told me that much was so I wouldn’t let him get me alone.”

  Wal looked sickened. “She didn’t trust your parents to tell them? To have them confront the monster?”

  Cissy swiped at the tears creeping from her eyes. “Even if she had, what could they do? Our laws said a victim of sexual misconduct was as much to blame as the man who attacked her. If my parents had gone after him legally, Tasha might have been convicted of tempting him. She would have been sent to the work camps for her crime ... and most who went into the work camps did not come out alive.”

  She watched as the men fought to absorb this. Wal’s head sank towards his chest to rest his face in his hands. Rolat stared into space, his fangs showing as he g
lared at nothing. Diltan kept his gaze on Cissy however, looking steadily into her eyes. He gripped one of her hands in his. It was as if he tried to pour strength into her.

  Wal raised his head and took her other hand. His expression was filled with pain, but compassion as well. “I have heard of how your courts treated victims of such perversions. I had heard, but to know your sister went through the fear of it ... there are no words. No words at all.”

  “Finish the story, Cissy,” Diltan urged. “Get it all out. What happened next?”

  She licked her dry lips. “I promised Tasha I wouldn’t tell our parents. We were scared that since they couldn’t do anything legally, they might take justice into their own hands. It was a no-win situation.”

  “But you decided to do something about this monster.”

  “I was afraid he would go after Tasha again. I thought he might threaten her into making her do more things. He could have accused her of exposing herself to him, of trying to get him to lie with her. She has a small but distinctive scar under one breast, one that can only be seen if she’s naked. He saw that. He could have told authorities about it, proving his case to them.”

  Rolat growled something. Cissy thought it was bastard, but the rumbling quality made it hard to tell.

  She continued. “Two nights after he touched her, I snuck out of our house with some matches and lighter fluid. I set the front and back doors of his home on fire, but not the windows. I was sure he could get out. I just wanted to scare him. Maybe make him move away from us. That’s all. Okay, if he happened to get hurt too, that was fine. But I didn’t intend for him to die.”

  Wal’s expression eased. “He didn’t escape, I take it.”

  Cissy sighed. “It turned out his fire safety system’s wiring had been gnawed on by mice or moles or something. There was a hole in the outer wall where something had gotten in and chewed right through the wire. When the smoke alarms went off, his windows should have automatically opened at a touch, allowing him to get out. They didn’t.”

  Diltan’s eyes glittered. “He got trapped.”