by Amanda Renee
“Oh, darling. You’ve been holding out on me.” He lowered his voice to a whisper so not to wake his husband. “I just pulled up your cowboy online, and that’s the finest male specimen I’ve seen in forever. He just oozes testosterone and ruggedness.”
“Tomás!” Jade nearly knocked over her mug. “Do I need to remind you what he did to me?”
“No, but I think I need to remind you he was only a teenager back then. Now...” Tomás clucked his tongue. “He’s a hundred percent man.”
“I don’t care when it was. Cowboys never did it for me.”
“Your cowboy is a champion bull rider and his earnings last year were almost four times more than what I made.”
Jade straightened in her chair. “You can see how much he made?”
“I sure can.” He gave her the web address and she pulled up his stats.
“I had no idea bull riders made so much money.” Jade continued to scan the page. Turned out Wes was one of the top bull riders in the country and fifth in the standings this year.
“It also seems your boy is active in social media. That’s quite a good morning.”
“What are you talking about? How did you find that out?”
“I went to his website, westonslade.com.”
Website? “I didn’t realize he was that popular.”
“I thought you said you looked him up online.”
“I did. But I used one of those people directories, so it showed me his place of employment first. And that’s where I stopped.”
She typed in the address. Okay, the website was impressive. Professionally done and sexy, yet unreservedly masculine. She clicked on the first social media account and wondered if he had a team posting for him as she did. Nope. A selfie of him lying in bed with the caption Good Morning had posted a few minutes earlier and it already had close to a thousand likes. The hair on the back of her neck rose as she read one erotic reply after another. Most from women although there were a handful of men on there too.
“I swear, Tomás,” she warned. “I better not see your name pop up.”
Tomás cleared his throat and the sound of him rapidly hitting a key on his computer reverberated through the phone.
“I can’t believe you.”
“It’s not like I hit Send.”
She continued to read the posts and noticed Wes hadn’t responded to any of the comments. “Okay, so maybe he’s just a narcissist.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say your kitten claws have come out.”
A flicker of movement on the baby monitor caught her attention. Hadley’s legs were beginning to kick. Judging by last night’s diaper changes, that was the sign another was coming.
“I’ll have to call you back. The little ones are waking up.”
“Okay, love. You take care of those beauties and I’ll touch base with you sometime this afternoon.”
An hour later, Jade was either on the verge of tears or a nervous breakdown. She couldn’t do this full-time. And she was used to dealing with difficult. But Hollywood bridezillas were easier to handle. And potty trained.
When Maddie stopped by around six thirty, Jade almost threw herself at her feet and begged for mercy.
“Oh, Jade.” Maddie’s eyes trailed up and down the length of her. “What have they done to you?”
Jade thrust Mackenzie into her arms. “How can anyone in their right mind think having a baby is a good idea?”
Maddie laughed. “You must’ve had some night if you’re swearing off kids altogether.”
“I’ve never wanted children. Never. I’m too busy and too active to be tied down. And so was my sister up until she decided to do this. She and Kevin were always off backpacking or flying to Europe for the weekend. It was constantly go, go, go. And even after they split up, she would tell me about the spontaneous weekend trips she would take to Texas or Wyoming or—I’ll be damned.”
“What?”
“She was following Wes on the road, wasn’t she?” Jade couldn’t for the life of her figure out why her sister hadn’t mentioned his name or at the very least, that she was going to rodeos.
“I wouldn’t say she was following him. She met up with him if his competitions fell on the weekend.”
“And there wasn’t anything between them?”
“No. I can honestly say I don’t believe they ever even kissed.”
She didn’t think Wes was capable of having a platonic relationship with a woman. She thought she knew her sister better than anyone did. She couldn’t have been more wrong. It didn’t make sense.
“I take it you haven’t heard from Liv?”
“No.” Maddie smiled down at Mackenzie in her arms. “I wanted to call, but I don’t want to drive her further away.”
Jade had fought the same urge throughout the night. “I didn’t, either. Once the kids fell asleep, I called a bunch of treatment centers specializing in postpartum depression. They were all in-patient facilities within a day’s drive from here.”
“And nothing?”
“It was an exercise in futility. No matter how much I pleaded, privacy laws prevented them from releasing any information. I left the same message for Liv at each place in case she’s there, ‘Just let us know you’re safe.’ I’ll call out-patient facilities today and do the same thing. Other than that, I’m at a loss. This can’t go on indefinitely.” Jade hated to involve the police, but the more time passed, the more concerned she became. She honestly thought Liv would have reached out by now. “One day, okay, I get it. There’s a lot of stress involved with caring for triplets. But we’re going on two days and postpartum depression or not, a text message would have been nice.”
“What happens if she doesn’t come back? Can you legally take them with you to California?”
“I’m not sure.” The same scenario had played through Jade’s head earlier. “If I just leave with them and she returns in a frazzled state, she could accuse me of kidnapping.”
“You don’t think she’d do that, do you?”
“Yesterday, I didn’t. Today, I’m realizing there’s a lot I didn’t know about my sister. Before I can leave with them, I would have to report Liv missing and the kids would go in the system. They’ll probably have to evaluate me and my home in LA before releasing them to me. I’m Liv’s only relative so I hope that counts for something, but I can’t be a hundred percent certain the girls won’t go in foster care. I need to contact an attorney.”
“I can put together some names, if you’d like.” Maddie eased Mackenzie into her bouncy chair.
“Thanks, but I’ll call the one Liv used to set up the donor paperwork.”
“You know who she used?”
“Ah.” Jade froze. Her brain short-circuited as she tried to cover her slip. Liv had wanted everyone to believe she used two anonymous donors. “She mentioned someone a few times. I’m assuming she has the name and number in her office. I’m sure I’ll recognize it when I see it.”
Maddie nodded, seemingly unconcerned. “Before I forget, today’s garbage day. Monday, as well.”
“That was on my list of questions to ask you.” She’d made many lists in between phone calls, ranging from to-dos to how-tos. There was satisfaction in checking off a task as she went about her day. “Would you mind watching the girls for a few minutes while I get it together?”
“Sure, I don’t have to be to work until nine o’clock so I have time. Take a shower and get yourself cleaned up, including whatever that black mark is on your cheek.”
“Black mark?” Jade walked into the small half bath off the kitchen and flipped on the light. “Are you kidding me?” She had a three-inch-long black permanent marker streak starting at the corner of her mouth going toward her ear. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”
Jade had taken such a quick shower last night while Wes had watche
d the girls, she hadn’t bothered to look in the mirror.
“He was here for quite a while.” Maddie’s voice lilted with implication.
Jade rolled her eyes. Maddie must have seen his truck in the driveway. “We were just comparing notes, and he watched the kids long enough for me to shower and change.”
“Apparently it wasn’t long enough. You have some time, go do what you have to do.”
Jade ran upstairs and grabbed the bathroom garbage along with the bag from the Diaper Genie.
“I never thought to ask what you do for a living,” Jade said as she returned to the kitchen and lifted the lid off the trash can alongside the counter.
“I’m a court reporter. It’s nowhere near as glamorous as your job. I can only imagine what it’s like meeting all those celebrities.”
Jade inwardly laughed. Her job was far from glamorous. “I don’t just have celebrity clients, but they are the majority of my business. And let me tell you, those happy smiles you see plastered on the pages of magazines aren’t always real. Underneath they have the same fears and concerns as the rest of us. Sometimes I feel sorry for them. Every move they make, especially when it comes to their wedding, gets photographed and scrutinized. I can’t even begin to tell you the lengths we have to go to sometimes just to get a client to a venue. It can be a logistical nightmare. Some days seem like they’ll never end, but I wouldn’t trade it in for the world.”
How was she going to run a business and care for Mackenzie, Hadley and Audra? She never wanted kids and now she had three. No. She squared her shoulders and tied the garbage bag closed. She had to stay positive. Liv would come back and everything would be fine. Jade opened the back door off the mudroom and almost tripped over three car seats sitting on the top step.
“Okay, we need to find a better place for these.”
“Oh my God!” Maddie jumped up. “Those are from Liv’s car. When did she put them there?”
“I have no idea.” Jade moved one aside and ran down the steps into the yard, hoping to find her sister.
“They are a little damp from the morning dew,” Maddie said. “They’ve been out here for a while.”
Jade wanted to collapse in the grass and cry. Where are you, Liv? She took a deep breath and plodded back up the stairs to the mudroom. “I don’t think I opened this door yesterday. Did you?”
“I did when I put the garbage in the can. That was sometime in the early afternoon. It had to have been after that.”
“Then she came back.” Jade’s heart rose to her throat. “But when?”
Jade closed her eyes and hoped it wasn’t when she and Wes had fed the girls in the kitchen last night. Liv would have had a clear view of them from the steps. Seeing the biological parents together with their children was the last thing her sister needed. She just prayed it hadn’t pushed Liv further over the edge.
* * *
WES HAD THOUGHT the worst mistake of his life had been the day he miscalculated Crazy Town’s spin direction and damn near died when the bull tossed and trampled him. He’d changed his mind when Liv told him the embryo transfer had been a success. It still hadn’t compared to the mistake he made last night.
There had been an uncontrollable force driving him to Liv’s house. He’d gone and done the one thing he’d sworn he never would. And now that he’d met his daughters, he couldn’t get their tiny cherub faces out of his head. His heart couldn’t handle seeing them again knowing they weren’t his to keep. Not that he wanted to keep them. Just the opposite. The sooner he got out of town, the better.
He’d spent most of the night down at the stables to avoid Garrett’s countless questions about Jade and her emergency. He wished Jade had just called and left a message instead of talking to his brother. Then again, if she hadn’t stalked him at the ranch, he never would have spoken with her and she knew it.
His phone rang, and he was almost afraid to check the display. It was half past nine and it could be anyone, from his management team to one of his friends. But his gut told him it was Jade. The thought alone both frightened and excited him.
He braved a glance at the screen. Her name flashed at him like a rodeo clown waving a red flag. He froze long enough for the call to go to voice mail. He couldn’t talk to her. Talking would lead to seeing his daughters again. His daughters. They were no longer a concept. Even after their due date had passed, Wes had refused to think of them as tiny humans almost two thousand miles away from his new home in Ramblewood, Texas. Now he had no choice.
He had held them in his arms and they had imprinted themselves on his heart. How could he walk away and go back to life as usual? Especially when they were growing up in his hometown where every time he visited his brothers and their growing families he ran the risk of running into them. And what would happen when they got older and started driving or playing sports? He was bound to see their names in the newspaper or mentioned by a neighbor or friend. Saddle Ridge was a small town and nothing escaped anyone.
Wes stormed to the tack room. He needed to go for a ride and clear his head. The voice mail notification chimed from his back pocket. As much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn’t. His finger hovered over the play button, praying Jade had called to say she had found Liv and everything was fine.
“Wes, it’s Jade. I know you have your phone in your hand because you posted a pic online less than five minutes ago. At least it was better than the tacky one of you in bed. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you Liv came back to the house sometime yesterday or during the night. I don’t know when or how long she stayed, but it may have been when you were here. Please call me as soon as you get this. I’m scared of how she may have reacted if she saw us together with the girls.”
* * *
WES TOOK THE front porch steps of Liv’s house two at a time. Jade opened the door and pulled him inside before he had a chance to knock. He told himself repeatedly on the drive over he was there only for Liv’s well-being. Any attachment to the girls was off-limits.
“Thank you for coming. I know this is the last place you want to be.”
Wes followed her into the small living room off the main hallway. He’d half expected to see Audra, Hadley and McKenzie when he turned the corner, instead the room looked exactly as it always had.
“It doesn’t even look like a baby, let alone three babies, lives here.”
“Exactly.” Jade paced the length of the small off-white area rug. “We were so busy feeding the girls yesterday I didn’t get a chance to show you this.” She grabbed his hand and led him down the hall to a narrow closet. The gesture was innocent enough, but her palm against his felt more intimate than a kiss. Within seconds she released him, and damned if he didn’t miss her touch already. He balled his fist, refusing to feel anything for the woman. “This is what I mean when I say Liv knew what she was doing.”
She swung the closet open and flipped on the overhead light. There were numerous neatly stacked, transparent lidded bins with index cards taped to the front of them listing each one’s contents. Baby toys, baby blankets, baby photo albums...all generically labeled.
“Why is everything in the closet?”
“These had all been in various rooms when I left a little over a month ago. Sometime between now and then, she ordered storage containers and packed everything away.”
Wes wandered around the first floor of the house, peering into each room. “I’ve never been upstairs, but nothing down here looks any different from before she got pregnant. The place was always spotless. Is it possible she took the bins out when she needed them?”
Jade shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense. Those photo albums used to be on the coffee table. She couldn’t wait to fill them. I looked inside and there are three, possibly four pages’ worth of photos. And the baby blankets...she was so proud that she’d learned how to crochet for her daughters. Those are shoved in a box too.”
&nb
sp; “What about the nursery? Did she change anything in there?”
“No.” Jade started up the stairs, but Wes’s feet refused to follow. “Are you coming?”
“Aren’t the girls up there?”
Her shoulders sagged at the question. “So that’s it? Last night was a onetime deal and you’re never going to see them again.”
“I thought I already made that clear.” What part of not wanting to be a parent didn’t she understand? He had to set boundaries before she expected more from him. “I’m not here for them. I’m here because you said Liv came back to the house and you’re afraid she saw us together. I’m here because I’m worried about her. I’m not worried about the girls. I trust you with them.”
“How very big of you.” She closed the distance between them, her eyes blazing with anger and fear. “Hell, I’m surprised you haven’t snapped a picture of them and posted it all over the internet to see how many likes and follows you can get.”
Wes put a hand on her arm. “I know you’re upset, and I meant what I said yesterday. I’ll do whatever I can to help you find Liv. But please, don’t take it out on me. This isn’t my fault just like it isn’t your fault.”
Jade dropped her gaze. “It is our fault. We missed the signs. You taking off to Texas is no different from me flying back to LA as fast as I could. We both abandoned her.”
“We were only donors.” Wes bit back the bile he now associated with the word. “Those kids aren’t ours. And you didn’t abandon Liv. You were there when the babies were born. You helped bring them home. You’re caring for them night and day. You’re living in the same house with them. They’re the first thing you see in the morning and they’re the last thing you see at night. I don’t even have to be here to recognize you’re getting attached to them.”
“Of course I am.” Tears filled her eyes. “I never wanted to feel this way, but they’re our daughters. How can you not get attached?”
“They are your nieces, but they can’t ever be anything to me. That’s how Liv wanted it.”