Bastards and Scapegoats

by Coralee June

  “What makes a credible storyteller? Why do you trust me to stand at this podium and talk to you about people long dead? Is it the multiple degrees hanging in my office? That thesis I spent four years writing? You”—she nodded at Jared beside me—“tell me why you trust me to stand here and teach you.”

  Jared’s eyes widened, and he squirmed in his seat before answering, “You’re an educated woman who’s dedicated her life’s work to studying philosophy.”

  “You don’t know me, though. How can you be certain that I’m not inserting my own bias or beliefs into my lecture? I’m molding the minds of future leaders. The next generation is under my thumb, and if I were persuasive enough, I could convince you that my version of events is correct, could I not?”

  “We don’t know,” I replied, feeling embarrassed for speaking out of turn the moment those words left my lips.

  “Oh?” Dr. Bhavsar asked. “So, what do you do? How do we navigate a world of potentially lying storytellers?”

  “We tell our own stories,” I mumbled. “We research. We question everything, even people in positions of power—especially people in positions of power. Credibility is established over time, through fact checking. We don’t allow bias or opinions to shape our realities. We create our own through putting in the work. Those who tell the stories only rule society if society allows it.”

  Dr. Bhavsar smiled. “Exactly.”

  “I can’t believe we live in the same apartment building. Now I’m absolutely going to bother you all the time,” Jared said with a grin. Jared had walked me to my classes and even had lunch with me at the dining hall. I wasn’t expecting him to spend the day with me, but I wasn’t angry about it.

  “You don’t live at the frat house? By the way, I’m still surprised you’re in a frat. Aren’t you supposed to be a raging alcoholic that parties all the time? All the nineties college movies I watched to prepare myself for this year really missed the mark.”

  Jared touched his chest. “I’m really hurt by that stereotype, Vera,” he replied. “We aren’t all party hard frat daddies with daddy issues.” I giggled as we walked toward our apartment building. “But maybe your assumptions are partially true. Part of the reason I moved out of the Pike house was because they are slightly disgusting, and I never got any sleep because they were too busy partying all the time. I swear to God the communal showers were coated in a thick layer of cum.”

  “That sounds disgusting.”

  “I stay for the cute guys and my parents’ approval, but I’m tempted to leave for the same reason. It’s a tragedy.”

  Cute guys? I thought Jared was hitting on me before. I guess—

  “I see the cute wheels in your head turning. No worries, I’ll happily explain. I’m pansexual,” he explained. “I lost my virginity to a woman twice my age in London. Last year, I dated a football player. I spent last month in New York hooking up with a beautiful trans woman. Last night, in the psychology building, I sucked a mediocre dick belonging to a very confused fraternity president. And right now, I’m really hoping you’ll let me take you on a date.”

  “Oh. I…” I wasn’t expecting him to ask me out. It wasn’t his sexual preferences that had me pausing. It was thoughts of Hamilton. I was just about to explain that I wasn’t looking for a date when my phone started ringing. It was a FaceTime call from Hamilton. “Excuse me, I have to answer this,” I whispered. One of the stipulations of watching Little Mama was that I answer whenever he called, as long as I wasn’t in class. He was a needy bastard.

  I held the phone up and smiled before clicking accept for the call. Hamilton was lying on his bed in what looked like a small dark room. His hair was a mess, and there was a smudge of grease on his cheek. “Thank fuck you answered. I swear my dick has been hard all day just thinking about you.”

  I coughed and Jared grinned beside me before looking over my shoulder to stare at the screen. I tried to angle the phone away. Even though there was no possible way for Jared to know that Hamilton was my uncle, it was only a matter of time before he did.

  “I’m guessing that date is a no then, hmm?” Jared asked quietly.

  “Who the fuck is that?” Hamilton asked while sitting up on his mattress and leaning closer to the screen for a better look.

  “It doesn’t matter. If you’re calling to check on your dog, I’ll be home in just a few minutes so you can see her,” I said.

  “Were you bringing this guy home?” Hamilton asked.

  “No. He lives in the same building as me. Why are you acting jealous?”

  “Maybe I had a taste and I don’t want to share.” Jared shamelessly hovered over me, listening to my conversation with Hamilton and grinning at the camera. “You look familiar,” Hamilton then said to Jared. “Have we met before?”

  “Can’t say we have. I would have remembered you,” Jared replied with a smirk.

  Hamilton’s eyes thinned to small slits. “I don’t like you.”

  “You barely know me,” Jared countered before chuckling.

  “I’m a pretty good judge of character. Doesn’t take much. Stay away from Vera.”

  At that statement, I decided to interject. “I told you. This is not happening. And I’m not having this conversation in front of my new friend. Did you need anything, Hamilton?” I asked.

  “Just you. I need you right now, Petal.”

  “Petal?” Jared asked. My heart rate picked up.

  “I’ll call you later, Hamilton,” I choked out before hanging up the phone.

  Jared started laughing hysterically. “Now you have to go on a date with me. Mostly just to piss him off.”

  I scowled. “I was going to tell you before I was so rudely interrupted that I’m not looking to date anyone right now. I really am just trying to settle in and make some friends.”

  “I get it. And who wants to date when you have someone like that ready to eat you up?”

  I let out a shaky exhale and continued walking. The shaded sidewalk had arched trees covering the path, and expensive cars drove past us. “It’s complicated,” I admitted.

  “Complicated how?” I debated on telling Jared what was going on. I hadn’t really had anyone to talk about this with. The moment Hamilton steamrolled into my life, I struggled with my strange fascination-slash-attraction to him. It might be nice to have someone to talk to about it all who wasn’t my mother or a Beauregard.

  “He’s technically my uncle?” I offered.

  Jared stopped walking. He blinked twice. “Come again?”

  “My mom married his older brother a month ago,” I rushed out in explanation.

  “Here I was thinking you’re all straitlaced, and then you drop a taboo bomb like that in my lap?” Jared shivered delightfully. “I’m so impressed. And a little turned on.”

  “That’s not weird at all…”

  “Come on,” Jared said. “We’re going to your apartment, and you’re going to tell me everything. Don’t you dare leave any information out.”

  13

  “Gosh, you’re so cute. I wish I were home so I could cuddle you,” Hamilton said over FaceTime. I rolled my eyes while swiping blush along my cheeks. Little Mama was wagging her tail as Hamilton spoke to her. “Is Vera giving you plenty of treats? Is she scratching behind your ears? You just say the word and I’ll spank Vera if she isn’t treating you right. I’ll have her ass red in no time.”

  I picked up the phone off the floor and arched my brow at Hamilton. “Is that really necessary?” I asked.

  “I’m following your rules!” he playfully exclaimed. “No flirty, dirty, naughty, or possessive talk. I’m not allowed to talk about how much I wish you were riding my face right now or ask if your pussy is soaked from thinking of me. I’m absolutely not allowed to ask where the fuck you’re going tonight looking sexy as hell in that tight skirt. Your tits are about to spill out of that top, and I want to catch them with my mouth, beautiful.” My breath hitched, and he grinned wickedly while angling the phone ever so slightly so I
could see his hard, shirtless torso. Fuck. “But if I were allowed to ask these things, I’d also tell that fucker Jared to keep his hands to himself.”

  I fought a grin. Hamilton made me feel sexy. Desired. Part of the reason why I liked him so much was because he made me feel good about myself. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to. “Is that all I am to you? A warm body?” I boldly asked. We hadn’t connected on an emotional level, but boy did we collide physically.

  “I bet if you let me get to know you better, we’d like each other. But again, I’m following the rules. We have chemistry, Petal. I’m not afraid to act on that. And you know what I think?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “I think you like being pursued. I think it makes you feel powerful. And I like seeing your confident smile. Just don’t let Jared reap the benefits of my hard work, Petal.”

  I set the phone down on my vanity and continued to get ready. I wasn’t ready to end the phone call, but Little Mama was already snoozing on my bed. I picked up some red lipstick and started applying it. “Fuck,” Hamilton whispered. I glanced at his hooded eyes and parted lips before returning to my reflection.

  “If we were getting to know one another, what would be something you’d tell me? What’s your story, Hamilton?”

  “I don’t really have a story,” he replied in a soft voice.

  “Everyone has a story,” I countered before putting my lipstick down and grabbing some finishing powder.

  Hamilton let out a lingering, long sigh before speaking to me again. “Mom and Jack were much older when I was born. They were a happy family of three up to that point. Jack was in the height of his career. Mom was in the height of her depression. It wasn’t until the news broke that Jack knocked up some coed and had me that shit went south. I guess Mom had been cool with raising me as long as the world didn’t know her husband was a cheating cunt. I was born a mistake. I’ll probably die one, too,” he said, his voice even, despite the painful words.

  “That’s…awful.”

  “Joseph liked to remind me every day of my goddamn life how I ruined everything. I used to think it was his only child syndrome, but now I think it’s more. When Mom died…it got worse. Jack let Joseph push me around because he wanted me to suffer for existing, but was too much of a coward to do it himself.”

  Jack confused me. He was callous and pretentious, but he cared about Hamilton in a way that felt authentic. I didn’t have all the facts, so I didn’t feel like I had a right to pass judgment. Hamilton was raised by them. His feelings were valid. Still, I wanted to figure out Jack’s perspective since he seemed to genuinely want a relationship with his son, despite Joseph’s blatant hatred.

  “Have you ever wanted to meet your real mom?” I asked.

  “I had a real mom. Her name was Nikki Beauregard. She was smart. Tenacious. She loved me even when she didn’t have to. She fought through mental health issues. Have you ever wondered if your mother resented you?”

  I frowned. “Why would you ask something like that?”

  “We’re sharing things about our lives, are we not? It’s why you’re so obedient. You think you have to be perfect to make up for the fact that you exist.”

  My eyes burned hot with emotion. “That’s not true,” I choked out.

  “Isn’t it though? I should know. I lived that way until the day Mom died. What is it going to take for you to live for yourself?”

  “I am living for myself.”

  “You’re cute when you lie.” I shook my head and swallowed the thick ball of emotions in my throat. “Have fun tonight. If Jared touches you, I’ll break every bone in his hand while you watch. I know you like possessive fuckers. I’m not one to normally be exclusive, but I’m starting to see the appeal.”

  “You haven’t even taken me on a date!” I exclaimed.

  “Keep fighting this, baby. It makes me hard.”

  I rolled my eyes and ended the call. Fucking Hamilton.

  Jared drove a Tesla. He zipped us around town while excitedly talking about a lecture series coming up that he wanted us to go to. I listened and interjected at the right times, but still felt off from my conversation with Hamilton. “You’re going to love this bar. It’s the best kept secret in Greenwich. The craft drinks are strong, and the vibe is legit. It’s painfully ordinary. Cheap drinks. Beer-soaked floors. You don’t have to be a trust fund baby to get in. It’s totally your style.”

  I didn’t know what a legit vibe was, but I was humored by Jared’s enthusiasm. We’d been going to school for a week, and he spent nearly every day with me. I liked spending time with him. He was smart, compassionate, funny, and a good study partner. I struggled at first with his constant flirting, but eventually I just realized that it was who he was as a person. He hadn’t pressured me into dating him anymore, but sometimes I’d catch him staring at me with his heavy, heated gaze.

  “Are you going to dance with me?”

  “I’m not very good at dancing,” I admitted with a grin as he pulled into an old parking lot with potholes and cars filling nearly every available space. Jared carelessly parked his Tesla up on the curb. He said this was the best kept secret in Greenwich, but this place wasn’t a secret at all. Everyone in town was here. Maybe the people of Greenwich liked the painfully ordinary more than they let on.

  “Everyone is good at dancing,” Jared insisted.

  We got out of the car and walked through the door. I stepped onto the scuffed floor and nearly crashed into a drunk girl dancing by herself. Jared laughed and grabbed me around the waist, easily maneuvering me out of the way. “Let’s go to the bar, gorgeous,” he whispered in my ear before easing me over to a barstool.

  The bar was eclectic and cozy. Waiters serving drinks walked around the room with their trays in their hands. A couple in a corner booth was making out, the two women were devouring each other whole. Spit was flying. Trembling hands were groping one another. A man sitting by himself was taking shot after shot after motherfucking shot, and a table of fraternity guys waved at Jared the moment I sat down. “Can you stay right here for a minute? I’m going to say hello to my friends. Be right back. Order whatever you want.”

  I nodded at his back as he walked away. It was kind of curious that he didn’t want to introduce me, but maybe he didn’t want us to lose our seats. I placed my purse on his stool and stared at his back as he said his hellos. After a few bro hugs, some of them turned to face me while whispering to Jared. I wondered what they were saying.

  “This is why I don’t date men. What an asshole,” Jess said. Wait. Jess? She was on the other side of the bar top, wiping it down with a rag and glaring at Jared. “He just left you here to go say hello to his frat assholes. Why didn’t he introduce you?” The fact that she was saying my thoughts out loud validated them.

  “You work here?” I asked.

  “I do. Rich college kids tip surprisingly well when they’re wasted. And they like feeling like they’re slumming it at a local spot. Makes them feel superior.”

  I raised my brows. “How’s Infinity and the new apartment?” I asked.

  “It’s good. Though we need a place with a garage. Her band practices in the living room, and I love her, but that music gets old after a while.”

  I smiled. “Sorry I left her show.”

  Jess pulled out a glass with ice and poured some Sprite into it before handing it to me. “No worries. Hamilton explained what’s up. Fucking paparazzi. They’ve been hounding him since we were teens.”

  I nodded. “Because of his birth mom, right?” I asked.

  Jess quirked her brow. “Are you digging for information?”

  “Would you tell me anything if I was?” I asked.

  Jess leaned over the worn bar top. Her black tank was stretched thin across her chest, and she had a bead of sweat on her temple. “Hamilton is a good man. He’s sometimes a bit of a whore. I don’t think the man can go a week without sticking his dick in something, so if you like him, you should probably be aware of that going
into this.” I swallowed. I knew this. Of course I knew this. But hearing it from Hamilton’s best friend was a reality check I hadn’t prepared for. It didn’t matter anyway though. I wasn’t going to act on these feelings, right?

  “I never said I liked him,” I argued.

  “You didn’t have to, Petallll.” Ugh. When was I going to stop lying to myself? I wanted Hamilton. Jess continued. “He’s probably the only decent person in that family, aside from his dead mother. He’s a bit tortured, but I think all the pretty men are. He has this weird desire to piss his family off and please them all at the same time. It’s weird. It’s tragic. I’m not a therapist, but he’s really fucked up in the head about them. And don’t get me started on Joseph. He’s a sick bastard. The kind to kick puppies, you feel me?”

  “Should I be worried about my mother?” I asked in a timid voice.

  Jess chewed on the inside of her lip. “Joseph takes care of his toys. It’s the people who try to take his toys from him that you should worry about.”

  I was about to ask her what that meant when Jared settled on the stool beside me. “What did I miss?” he asked before looking at Jess. “I’ll have a Jack and Coke please.”

  Jess nodded and wordlessly made his drink. “Jared, this is my friend Jess. I didn’t realize she worked here.”

  “Oh! Sorry.” Jared wiped his hand on his pants before reaching out to shake hers. “My name is Jared, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Jess stared at his outstretched hand before handing him his drink. “I’ll be around if you need anything, Vera,” she said. “Watch your drink around this one. I keep a Glock under the bar, pretty boy.” She squinted at him before moving on to the next customer.