by Diana Nixon
Returning to my apartment, I looked at the clock on the wall and yawned. It was almost midnight, but tomorrow was my first official day off in what felt like forever and I was going to take the best of it.
I remembered Ivy mentioned a few things she was missing from her past and I thought I could try bringing some of them back into her life.
Early in the morning, I googled the nearest bike shops and called one of them to place an order. I don’t think I could remember the last time I rode a bicycle, I guess it was in high school. Though not even then did I ride a double-seated one.
Right after my new transport was delivered, I texted Ivy.
“Any plans for the day? Have something you might like...”
“Is it just my voice-over or does your message sound as dirty as my phone just read it?”
I chuckled. “Maybe you should try a different voice to read your messages?”
“Maybe… No plans for the day, btw.”
“Perfect. Be ready in 30.”
“Ready for what?”
“For whatever dirty things your voice-over had on its nonexistent mind.”
***
Ivy
Thirty minutes after I read Stanley’s message I was still standing with my phone in my hands, not sure if I should call him and tell him I suddenly remembered something very important and couldn’t go out, or man up, get dressed and hope this meeting will not become a disaster.
On Friday night, after I closed the door behind him, I felt like something about my peaceful life had changed. Leaning against the door, I listened to my heartbeat. It wasn’t a peaceful beating anymore, far from it actually. My brain started to list all the reasons why I got so anxious. In the end, I realized that there was only one reason for everything both good and bad that was going on with me at that moment. And the reason had a name…
Stanley Burke.
The more I thought about what I felt when with him, the more I wanted him to be here with me now. I was surprised to realize that the fear of getting addicted to him was the least of my worries. I craved his presence, his voice, his laughter. I craved everything about him, as if he were the light I could no longer see. I even let him touch me, many times, and not even once did it make me uncomfortable.
Not to mention the kiss we shared… It was so amazing, I still felt a little silly for how I let it make me feel: wanted and a little naughty.
It was so easy to open up and tell him all about it. I also let him read my medical history that not even my sister was allowed to touch anymore. Did I believe he could actually help me get my vision back?
I didn’t. But letting him into something as sacred as my blind world was a huge step ahead.
I took a deep breath and pushed the button on my watch to check on the time I had before Stanley’s arrival. The watch told me I had two minutes left.
“Shit,” I swore under my breath and rushed to my wardrobe. I had no idea what Stanley and I were going to do today, but since no dress code warning followed his invitation, I chose a pair of jeans with a blue shirt that Emery and I bought last week, and a white polo-neck sweater to complete the outfit. Thank God, everything in my wardrobe was sorted by colors and textures; it didn’t take long to find the clothes I needed. I remembered ‘a game’ Emery and I played at the very beginning of my blind journey. She picked up one thing from my wardrobe and gave it to me to memorize. Then, after I was done memorizing things, she told me to describe them, all of them. We still played that game every time we bought new clothes for me. With time, it got easier to remember things. After all, memory was one of my best friends now.
The makeup routine was a different story. Even though I learned how to do it without anyone’s help, on days like today, I wished my sister was there to check on my appearance. But with the little choice I had, I decided it would be a no-mascara day. The stupid thing loved turning me into a not-so-hot mess. Foundation, powder and lip-gloss were so much more cooperative. I could easily apply them on my own. As for my eyebrows, Emery and I thought it would be easier to tint them once in a while, so I didn’t need to worry about the color and shape. Unlike paints that I used for my pictures, using some makeup tools still scared the hell out of me. Eyebrow pencil was one of them. Every time I tried to use it, I got another pair of eyebrows that made me look like a cavewoman – not the best way to start my day.
When the doorbell rang, I suddenly realized that staying in my ‘cave’ felt so much safer. But again, I had no choice but to open the damn door and face whatever the day was about to throw my way.
“Hey,” I said, greeting my guest.
“Hey.” Stanley leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, letting his lips linger on my skin a little longer than needed. Not that I didn’t like it. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah. I just need to grab my purse. Where are we going, by the way?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“A good one I hope.”
“Like I said, you will love it.”
I put my purse over one shoulder, locked the apartment door and then Stanley and I headed for the elevator.
“Any guess of what we might be doing today?” He asked, while waiting for the elevator to arrive.
“Judging by the smile I can so clearly hear in your words, it’s gonna be something I less expect to happen to me today.”
“Scared?”
“A little.”
He chuckled. “Good.”
“Good? Seriously? Now I feel like going back to my apartment and sending you straight to hell.”
He laughed and wrapped one arm around my shoulders. “I’m just kidding. You shouldn’t be scared. At least not when you are with me.” Those last words were said right into my ear, making me flutter from within. Damn, I wish I could forbid my body and my mind get so easily affected by everything the man was doing and saying, but for some unknown reason, I kept diving into those familiar, yet new sensations that made me feel so good. I wanted nothing more than to prolong moments like this for at least a little longer.
The elevator door opened, I stepped in and mentally wished myself good luck. I wasn’t sure about anything, including the amount of time Stanley and I were going to spend together. No doubt, I enjoyed every second of it. But what about him? What was he thinking when being with me? What made him call me this morning? Was it just about the desire to surprise me or was there something I was missing? Or maybe it was just about my stupid habit to question everything strangers were doing for me. Have I mentioned how short was the list of people I trusted?
We left the elevator and Stanley immediately took my hand in his. “Thirty-two steps to my surprise,” he said.
I smiled. “You counted the number of steps… How very thoughtful of you.”
“I thought since I’m going to be your navigator today, I need to do my best to not disappoint you. By the way, how exactly does your navigator work? Does it describe the size and the shape of the obstacle it can see on its way?”
“Well, it scans the area around me and tells me all about the irregularities on the ground, water bodies, staircases, street curbs, etc. It also warns me about fast moving objects, like cars or bikes, though I can always hear when one of those is approaching me.”
“So the thing basically replaces guide dogs and canes, right?”
“I never wanted to walk with a cane. I have one at home, but I only used it a few times. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, you know? With all the non-blind things I’ve been practicing for so long, walking with a cane would ruin the show.”
“What about a guide-dog? Many people have dogs. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are blind.”
“I know. But I’m just too stubborn to get one for myself. I love dogs, always did. But after I lost hope to get my vision back, I promised myself I would do my best not to let my blindness affect my life. Having a guide dog would probably make a lot of things easier for me, and I’m always a bit scared my navigator breaks at the worst possible moment a
nd I get lost somewhere in the city. But it’s my stupid mental block that wouldn’t accept any help, either from people or, well, guide dogs.” I counted a few more steps and stopped. “Thirty-two steps. Where’s my surprise?”
“Right here.” Stanley put my hand on something metal.
“What’s this?”
“Our transportation for the day.”
My hands ran across the metal surface, and I laughed. “It’s a bike, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
“How exactly am I supposed to use it?”
“Just like anyone else would. It’s a double-seated bike actually. All you need to do is to trust me with showing you the way and help me pedal.”
“Oh, my God! Why I never thought of it myself?” A double-seated bike was a great idea. I couldn’t deny it.
“When was the last time you rode a bike?” Stanley asked.
“Like ten years ago. I hope I don’t mess up this ride. But you are a doctor, you will save me if anything bad happens during the ride, right?” I asked my question without thinking. It was supposed to sound like a joke. But Stanley’s response sounded too serious to be just a joke.
“I will save you, no matter what.” He paused and rubbed my cheek gently. “Now, let’s see how this thing works.” He gave me what I assumed was a helmet and helped me put it on and fasten it. “You look really adorable in a helmet.”
“Well, thank you. I’ll have to believe you on that. What shall I do now?”
“Put your hands on the handlebar and wait until I tell you to hop on the bike.”
“Okay.” I waited patiently for him to take his seat in front of me. I was so excited about the upcoming ride, I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s do it!”
I got on the bike and we pedaled down the street.
CHAPTER NINE
Stanley
“What do you say if we stop to eat some ice cream?”
Ivy laughed. “You are tired of riding, I get it.”
“Actually, I thought you were tired, but if you are not…”
“Okay, let’s have an ice cream break.”
“There’s an ice cream trailer about twenty feet away from us. Let’s pull over there.”
We stopped at the trailer and I held her hand to help her off the bike.
“What ice cream do you like?” I asked.
“Vanilla, chocolate, cherry, pineapple… What flavors do they have?”
I smiled. “All of them.”
“Then I’m fine with whatever you choose.”
I could see how happy she was. We didn’t talk much when on the bike, but whenever we stopped, I turned around to look at her and she had that beautiful dreamy smile radiating on her face. It wasn’t the first time that I caught myself thinking how much I wanted to be the reason for that smile. I don’t know why, I just did.
I paid for the ice cream and we went to one of the tables standing nearby.
“Did you enjoy the ride?” I asked as we sat down at the table.
“You know the answer. I’m sure it’s written all over my face. I LOVED it. I never enjoyed my time out that much.”
“I’m glad my surprise worked. I think we need to do it again, one day.”
Her smile suddenly faded. “One day…”
Did she regret her decision to spend another day with me?
“Tell me something, Stanley… Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Trying to make me happy.”
The answer came immediately, “It’s simple – I want you to be happy. It’s not a crime, is it?”
“It’s not… Thank you. For everything. And even if one day you feel like you are tired of trying to make me happy, just stop it. I will understand…”
“Hey…” I took her hands in mine. “What are you talking about? Why shall I get tired of it?”
“Because I know for sure that sooner or later, you will get tired of me. I’m not a piece of cake, and neither is my life. It’s complicated in more ways than you think. From what I know about you, you can choose any girl you like and she would be with you. I’m sure everyone around you will think that you could do so much better than this, better than me. Simply because people nowadays are too judgmental to accept disabilities like something normal.” She smirked at her own thought. “Some may think that you are doing this for fun.”
“I know what you mean, Ivy. But I don’t care about what anyone else thinks. I’m doing this because I want to, because I like spending time with you. Have you ever got tired of doing something that you really like?”
“No, but dating a blind girl isn’t exactly what you think it is. And even though it’s not a date…”
“It is a date.”
“Even though it’s not a date, I want you to think twice before you do something you might regret doing afterward.”
“You know, there’s one thing I’m one hundred percent sure I will never regret.”
“And what’s that?”
I didn’t respond. My eyes moved down her face, drinking in every gentle feature that made her so purely beautiful, like a sunrise that touches the horizon with its gold and amber rays, signifying the beginning of a new day. She was like a new day to me, promising the unknown, yet full of hope.
“I will never regret meeting you, Ivy Ryan,” I said in a whisper.
My eyes slipped to her lips, and oh, dear lord, those lips… I was dying to kiss them again. It wasn’t the look, but the feel of her lips that sent me into the vortex of intoxication so strong, it blew my mind away.
Her lips parted in a sharp intake breath and I immediately used it to my advantage, slipping my tongue in and letting it mingle with hers. The play began delicately, with every breath we took turning into so much more than just a physical contact.
It took me high, so high I could swear I had wings on my back. I flew above the ground, searching for something I had never felt before, something I had never been allowed to touch. So sweet, so gentle, so responsive… I could continue searching for the right words to describe her, but none of them would ever do justice to how immensely stunning she was, with her inner beauty completing her outer attractiveness.
A small curve of her lips told me she was smiling into my mouth. “What the hell took you so long to kiss me again?”
I smiled back and kissed her one more time. “I was afraid you would push me away.”
“I don’t think I would be able to do it, even though deep down inside I know it would be the right thing to do.”
“You think what we are doing is wrong?”
“I don’t know… It feels so right and good. But where is it taking us?”
“Do you really want to know the answer?”
She thought for a moment. “Not now…” She paused. “Because right now, I want ice cream.”
“All right. Let’s leave kissing and the rest for later.”
“Which means you are sure more kissing is going to happen in the future.”
“Of course. As well as ‘the rest’.”
“Oh, you…” She tried to punch me, but I moved back and she failed.
Laughing under my breath, I said, “Your ice cream is melting. Better focus on eating it than trying to find an excuse to touch me.”
“Very funny, smartass.” She took her vanilla and chocolate ice cream and followed my advice. And I, meantime, focused on what we could do during our second ‘date’, because there was no way in hell date one was going to be the first and the last one.
After our short break was over, we decided to walk back to Ivy’s and cook something for dinner, together. It felt so natural, I didn’t even think about all those times I ended dates even before they became something more than one-night stands. In fact, I never thought of Ivy Ryan as a one-night stand. She deserved so much more than that. And maybe I had never been a picture of perfection when it came to building a long-term relationship, t
his time I wanted everything to be different. Because now there was something perfect in my life that I didn’t want to give up on.
***
By lunchtime on Monday, I was as exhausted as ever. My morning operation just ended and I had one more planned for the afternoon, but all I could think about was sleep and well, seeing Ivy again. A part of my brain wouldn’t mind putting all of the above in one tempting thought.
“Your pants are drenched,” Emery said.
It took me a few moments to understand what she was talking about. I looked down at my pants and said, “Oh, that… I spilled my coffee.”
“Hope it wasn’t too hot.”
“No, thank God. My secretary obviously forgot to boil the water.” I gave her an accusing look.
“But you didn’t say a word about it…” She crossed her arms and watched me from across my desk. “What’s wrong with you today? You don’t act like yourself.”
“Is it so obvious?”
“Well, yes. To me anyway.”
“I’m tired. That’s all.”
“Liar. I know exactly how you look when you are tired. And this time, it’s something different.”
I leaned against the back of my chair and said, “Will you believe if I say I have had a date with your sister?”
“You what?” I swear her eyes had never been bigger than now. For a second I got scared she would try to kill me with a paper knife, considering it was the closest weapon she could get now.
“Well, she said it wasn’t a date, but to me – it was a date. The best date ever.” I gave my paper knife another careful look and took it away from the desk.
“How on earth did you two end up on a date?” Emery asked, amused. “I talked to Ivy this morning and she didn’t say a word about it!”
“It was a spontaneous date. Better tell me, what does she like doing, apart from drawing I mean?”
“Baking, horseback riding, swimming… Why? Are you planning on asking her out again?”