Serene (Shattered Book 3)

by Diana Nixon

  “You are killing me,” I said to both of them.

  Judie put something on my belly and covered it with my palm. “Say ‘hi’ to your little boy, Ivy.”

  Carefully, my palm ran across the unfamiliar object and I felt like my whole world exploded. “Oh, my God… Is it what I think it is?”

  Tiny nose, round cheeks, lips, chin, ears…

  My fingers trembled.

  Judie spoke again, “Last time you were here, Stanley asked if there was a way to ‘show’ you the baby. And I said ‘yes’. I did this for one of my previous patients, who was blind, so I knew exactly what he was talking about. We did this 3-D scan of the baby’s face to let you feel a replica model of your son’s face.”

  “This…is incredible,” I said, barely able to speak. Swallowing hard, I shut my eyes and let the tears flow, still holding the 3-D scan in my shaking hands.

  It was the most unbelievable moment ever. Even though I knew I would touch my baby shortly, having an opportunity to do it now was beyond words.

  “Thank you,” I said in a whisper. “To both of you.”

  Wordless, Stanley kissed my check and caressed my hand.

  “You are welcome, Ivy,” the doctor said. “In five weeks, you will meet your baby for real. Until then, I hope you keep following my recommendations: rest, eat well, walk and think positively.”

  “I can do that.”

  “I know you can. You’ve been doing a great job all this time. Keep it this way and I’ll see you next week.”

  She helped me dry my belly and get up from the bed. With Stanley holding my hand in his, we walked into the hall and headed for the parking lot.

  “You never stop surprising me, Dr. Burke. I loved your idea about the 3-D scan.”

  “I knew you would love it. I just wanted you to feel what other women feel when seeing their babies during ultrasound examinations.”

  “I’ll never tire of admiring you. You make everything about my life so much better.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  I stopped walking and touched my belly, feeling my baby’s little feet knock at the touch. “Three of us, to be exact.”

  I was both thrilled and a little scared about the upcoming changes in my life. Emery said there was nothing more natural for a woman than to be a mother. She talked to me a lot, just like she did after the accident. It helped a lot. As well as having the man I loved by my side.

  Stanley and I now lived in his apartment. Well, technically, it wasn’t his or mine, but ours. We decided to weld together the two apartments and make it one. So that now my bedroom was about to be turned into the baby’s room, considering it was right behind the wall of our bedroom. And unlike six months ago, I was no longer afraid to talk about our future.

  My wedding dress was designed by Elizabeth and had been waiting for me at Emery’s, who was sure that my future husband shouldn’t see it before the big day.

  This time, everything was going to be different.

  Neither Stanley nor I wanted a big wedding; only family and closest friends had been invited to attend it.

  First we wanted to wait until the baby was born, but then Stanley said our son deserved to become a part of a real family, with a mom and dad sharing not just an apartment, but a name as well.

  I couldn’t say ‘no’ to this.

  Our wedding day was in three days and the excitement about it was driving everyone a bit crazy. Including my sister and Crystal, who, being the bridesmaids wouldn’t give me a break, making me regret the day I asked them to be my bridesmaids.

  “Seriously, girls, don’t you think that a bachelorette party for a heavily pregnant bride is a little too much?”

  “Never,” Emery said as serious as ever. “Pregnant or not, a bride deserves a party.”

  “Couldn’t agree more,” Crystal added. “Trust me, doll, you can’t miss your chance to have your last pre-marriage party. Everything that follows it, will be of a completely different level of having fun.”

  “Said a mom of a three-months girl, who is not allowed to drink or even leave her baby for longer than one hour, during her nap time.”

  “True, but who said I can’t make a maximum of one-hour fun time?”

  Emery giggled. “You should have been born as my sister, not Stanley’s.”

  “Huh, that would be perfect, right?”

  We all laughed.

  “Good news – starting this Saturday, we will be ‘almost’ sisters.”

  “God help us,” I said, standing from the chair. With pregnancy, navigating around the place became much slower, even though Stanley made sure all the new furniture had rounded corners and neither the future baby nor I could hurt ourselves.

  A lot of things changed since we found out about the baby growing in my belly, except for one…

  The love that Stanley and I felt for each other.

  It grew stronger with every passing day, blooming like a beautiful flower. I couldn’t get enough of all the emotions overwhelming my heart. At times, I wondered if I could be as happy if I didn’t get into the accident and my eyes could still see everything around me.

  My new life was nothing like what it used to be a few years back. I didn’t know how many more changes I would need to face after the baby was born. But one thing I knew for sure: what I had now was so much more important than what I lost.

  I opened the door to my workroom and took a deep slow intake breath. Because of the smell of paint, I didn’t spend as much time there as I used to. The smell made me a little sick, even if I tried to paint on the terrace. Pencil pictures were my only option for now. I would take a piece of paper and start sketching my baby’s face, imagining the eye color he would have, his smile and small dimples on his cheeks – I was sure he would have dimples. I didn’t show my sketches to anyone. For here and now, they were my little treasures that I wanted to keep away from everyone’s eyes, just like the baby that I could so clearly feel moving inside me.

  I talked to my son a lot. I told him about his father and what the three of us would be doing on Sundays. I told him about all the things I still remembered seeing: the sky, the sunset, the ocean. I swear the baby boy could hear me. I knew when he liked what I was saying. But most of all, he liked me singing. Whenever I started humming a song I loved, he got very quiet, as if listening to me very carefully.

  I always told my baby about the dreams I saw; about one dream in particular – of the man whose portrait I once drew on glass. I always associated it with Stanley. I don’t know why, I just did. Because in my mind, he looked exactly the way the man from my dream did. Or maybe it was about the eyes that were so stunningly beautiful, I knew I would remember them for as long as I lived.

  “Hey, what are you doing in here?” Stanley’s voice brought me back to here and now. I felt his arms wrapped around me.

  “I wanted to show you something… It’s been here for a while, but I just now remembered I never showed it to you.” I went to the drawer where I kept my glass picture and pulled it out. “I painted it shortly after we met.” I gave the picture to Stanley and waited impatiently for his opinion. “It was the first portrait I drew since after the accident. Do you like it? Emery said it looked good.”

  But no response followed.

  “Stanley? What is it? You don’t like it?”

  “I…”

  “You are looking at me, aren’t you?” I could always feel when his eyes were on me.

  “I am. I’m looking at you, trying to understand something… Ivy Ryan, have we ever met before?”

  I chuckled. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean the night we met at Emery’s – have we met before that night?”

  “No. Why?”

  He didn’t rush to answer my question.

  “How is this possible…” Was his whisper.

  “Stanley, what’s going on? I know you are still staring at me, and I need to know why.” I was getting more and more impatient.

  “The portrait…” He fi
nally said. “How did you manage to paint it if your eyes never saw me?”

  I thought for a moment, trying to put together his words and the reaction to my work.

  “Are you saying that the portrait looks like the real you?” It was impossible to believe it.

  “It looks exactly like the real me,” Stanley said.

  Let it be a surprise for later, Emery said about the portrait.

  “You can’t be serious…”

  “But I am.”

  “Wait.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose, still unable to believe I could draw Stanley’s face without seeing it. “Is it about the eye color? You think the eyes look the same as yours. Right?”

  “No, Ivy… It’s not just about the eyes. I’m talking about the portrait in general. It’s as if you were drawing it looking at me.”

  “Is it really that close to the original?” I thought about the man from my dreams again. Was it possible I could actually dream about Stanley, the real Stanley?

  “Oh, my goodness…” He reached out one hand and touched the butterfly-shaped pin, keeping my hair away from my face. “I remember this…”

  “You can’t remember it, I haven’t used this pin since…”

  “Since the day we met for the very first time.”

  “What?”

  “The airport… You were there with Kean.”

  My mind slowly traveled to the day that divided my life into two parts: before and after the crash.

  “It was my first day in Washington,” Stanley proceeded. “I was walking through the crowd, heading for the exit, when my eyes found you. You were standing near one of the billboards, looking at your watch.”

  “I was waiting for Kean.”

  “Yes. Then you saw him and moved forward. You dropped your pin and I picked it up.”

  I gasped, covering my mouth with both hands.

  “Liquid sunshine… Your hair looked like liquid sunshine. I was desperate to touch it, as if it was made of pure magic.”

  The memory that had been vague for so long, I thought it was nothing but a dream, was now back, as vivid as ever.

  “You told me to keep my hair loose.”

  “I still love it when you keep it loose. But that day… God, Ivy… How could I not remember it, not remember you?”

  “I’m asking myself the same question.”

  “No, you did remember me. Even if you thought it was just your imagination.”

  I heard him put the glass picture on a nearby table.

  “Come here.” He opened his arms and I willingly dived in his embrace.

  I saw him. I knew how he looked like. He wasn’t just a dream anymore, he was real.

  My Stanley was real.

  My body shook from tears. If until this very moment I thought life couldn’t surprise me more, I was wrong.

  “No words are good enough to express how much I love you,” I said through my tears.

  He pressed his lips to my cheeks and kissed the salty drops away, one by one.

  Turned out the image of his face was the last thing I remembered from the day of the crash. It wasn’t Kean, or the upcoming wedding, or the moment of the accident. It was Stanley.

  As much as I tried to forget everything that reminded me of the worst day of my life, there was one thing that became the best part of it. What a twist of my fate…

  ***

  Stanley

  No wonder they say that everything happens for a reason.

  My meeting with Ivy, back in the airport, was not accidental, now we both knew it.

  It was still hard to believe it, but the fact remained. She saw me and I saw her, long before we met at Emery’s. Destiny couldn’t give us a bigger present. Apart from the baby that we were expecting, knowing that Ivy saw me was the most incredible thing that had ever happened to me.

  The portrait that she gave me was now hanging on the wall in the living room. Emery confessed that she always knew it wasn’t just Ivy’s imagination that helped her create the portrait. She said she never doubted there was more to it.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about the portrait?” I asked, watching my sister combing Ivy’s hair. The three of them were going to have a bachelorette party, with Liz, her baby girl Olivia and Kelly joining in the fun in a couple of minutes.

  “I wanted it to be a surprise,” Emery said. “Sooner or later, you were supposed to see it.”

  “What if she never showed it to me? What if we broke up? I would never know she was the girl I met back at the airport.”

  “I still can’t believe you didn’t recognize her.”

  “It was so long ago, and my life in Washington had been chaos. I’d been married to my work, and then you invited me for dinner. Thank you, by the way. I think I forgot to say it.”

  “You forgot to say it more than ten times a day, considering I was the very person who made sure your life in this city didn’t turn into a complete disaster.”

  “I’m sorry. I really am. Deep down inside, I’m grateful for everything you have done for me.”

  “And will do, since we are about to become relatives.”

  I laughed and gave her a hug. “Okay, ladies, I think it’s time for me to go.” I stood up from the couch and approached Ivy. “I hope you are not going to call the strippers?”

  My sister made a face. “Unfortunately, not.”

  “What about you?” Ivy asked. “Is there anything I should be worried about?”

  “Nope. The boys and I swore to behave.”

  “Knowing my husband, I doubt we should trust those words,” Crystal retorted.

  “He’s been such a dear lately. How can you say things like that about him? He’s the father of your daughter, remember?”

  “It doesn’t give him carte-blanch for everything I wouldn’t approve of.”

  “Is there at least one thing that you do approve of about his behavior?”

  “Yes. But it’s too intimate, so I’m not telling you.”

  “Fine. I don’t need the details.” I kissed Ivy one more time and whispered, “Have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow, at the altar.”

  “I’ll be the one with a huge belly and a veil.”

  “I’ll remember that.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Ivy

  There was one thing about my wedding ceremony that I was very scared about.

  And that was not the vow.

  But walking down the aisle…

  “Are you sure you want to do it alone?” My father stood by my side, while mom was making sure my dress and the veil were ok.

  “Yes.” My grip on the rose bouquet tightened.

  I can do this. Can’t I?

  After so many things Stanley did for me, I wanted to surprise him with a solo walk down the aisle. I tried to do it several times, and it turned out to be much easier than I thought. I didn’t bump into the seats, which was a huge success by itself, considering I didn’t come to church on a daily basis to know the inside of the place very well.

  My palms sweated. I don’t think I remembered the last time I was so nervous.

  My wedding day… If someone told me three years ago I would get married one day, I would say they were out of their minds.

  The baby kicked my belly and I smiled.

  “You are right, my boy. There’s no time to think about ‘ifs’.”

  “You look amazing, darling.” Mom gave me a hug and kissed my cheek.

  “You promised not to cry today, remember?”

  “Sorry, I forgot,” she said in a trembling voice. “All moms cry watching their kids get married. I can’t become an exception to that rule.”

  “Are you ready?” Dad asked.

  I nodded. “I am.” I heard him open the heavy wooden door that led to the church. The music from the inside became louder. By the rustle coming from the inside, I knew everyone stood up to look at me.

  God, help me, I said to myself.

  Crystal, Emery and Elizabeth were already at the altar. Despite the fact that
all of them were happily married, they said I couldn’t find better bridesmaids. I couldn’t agree more.

  I took a few careful steps forward. Mom and Dad were supposed to follow me.

  My heart raced in my chest, and the baby immediately felt my nervousness, kicking me one more time.

  “I’m not alone, I know that,” I whispered, caressing my belly through the dress. It was made of ivory lace and silk. Strapless, it had a ribbon on my back, with its ends falling down and all the way to the bottom of my gown. The veil matched the dress; it was long and lacy on the edges, and it covered my face in the front.

  Even though I couldn’t see myself, I was sure Liz did a great job, and the dress looked perfect on me.

  Twenty more steps to the altar… And to the new life that no doubt would be different from everything I had ever lived through.

  I thought about Stanley, watching me. His face, with the eyes I remembered and loved so much that were following my every step. I knew he looked dazzling. His tuxedo was black, with a snow-white shirt, bow tie and a white rose pinned to the lapel. What was he thinking at the moment?

  Ten more steps…

  Thank God, no one could see my heels. No doubt, they were shaking.

  Stanley and I both wanted the ceremony to be private, just like everything he and I shared. At times, it felt like there were just the two of us, living in a small world that belonged to us only.

  “Don’t think about anyone else, think about me,” were his words last night when he called me to wish me sweet dreams.

  I didn’t tell him much about my failed wedding or how much I was scared to imagine getting ready for another wedding. But he made me believe that my fears were unreasonable. And I believed him.

  When Stanley touched my hand, I breathed a sigh of relief – the walk down the aisle was over.

  “You are full of surprises, Ivy Ryan,” he said in a whisper so only I could hear him.

  I smiled and together we turned to the priest. He welcomed the guests and the ceremony began.

  “Marriage is a blessing you give to one another. Cherish it, help it bloom and shine. Marriage is like a flower that signifies the eternal bond that will make your hearts beat as one. Be inseparable, be strong, be caring, loving and forgiving. Be devoted to one another and never forget about the moment you decided to bind your lives forever – it’s when true love showed your hearts the way to here and now.”