A Perfect Christmas

by Lynda Page

  She realised Glen was looking at her quizzically, waiting for her to finish what she had been about to say. She gave a small laugh and told him, ‘I’m sorry, my mind has just gone blank. I can’t remember what I was going to say.’

  He would have believed her had she looked at him when she said it, but she didn’t, addressed the fire instead, and he noticed the look of great sadness in her eyes. He wondered what she could possibly be so sad over? Then he remembered Jan’s speculations about the called-off wedding, and wondered if it could have anything to do with that. He smiled and told her, ‘It happens to the best of us.’

  Meanwhile, sitting in her bedroom, the blankets wrapped tightly round her to ward off the bitter chill in the unheated room, Jan wished the pair sitting by the fire, all snug and warm, would hurry up and finish their conversation so she could return and join them. She’d only been sitting on her bed at the most for twenty minutes but to Jan it felt like twenty hours. When she had made Glen and Caitlyn a cup of tea she had not been able to bring one with her into the bedroom as they only had two cups, and now Jan was desperate for a hot drink. Until their visitor showed signs of making her departure, though, it would be rude of her to go and interrupt them.

  Taking her blankets along with her, Jan crept over to the door and put her ear to it. She could hear the muted sound of voices, which told her that Glen and Caitlyn Thomas were still deep in discussion. Then an idea struck her as to how she could have her cup of tea without appearing intrusive. She wasn’t being a very good hostess, was she, if she didn’t offer their guest another drink? Then, while she was making it, she could have one first, drink it quickly, then wash out the cup, refill both of them and take them through. Jan thought this was an ingenious idea.

  Shrugging off the blankets, she came out of her bedroom and made her way to the perimeters of the living area. ‘Excuse me butting in; I just wondered if either of you would like another drink?’

  She had crept in so quietly that neither of them had heard her. They turned their heads in surprise for a moment then both of them smiled at her.

  Glen told her, ‘We’ve finished what we were talking about, Jan, so you’re not intruding.’ He flashed a look at Cait then. ‘We are finished, aren’t we? There isn’t anything else you need help with?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, there isn’t, thank you. I can see the sense of what you advise.’ She looked at Jan, considering her question. It would take her at least an hour, maybe more, to get home, and Cait suspected it was colder now than it had been when she’d arrived. Having another cup of tea before she left would certainly help her brave the weather. ‘I hope I’m not overstaying my welcome, but I’d really like to accept your offer of another cup of tea before I set off home.’

  Jan assured her, ‘Of course you’re not overstaying your welcome. It’s quite a journey to your house from here, isn’t it?’ Then she could have kicked herself, realising what she had thoughtlessly said, and knew she’d better say something more to cover it up before Cait asked her how she knew. ‘I mean, on a freezing night like this, any distance at all seems too long, doesn’t it?’

  Cait nodded. ‘Yes, it does.’

  Jan said, ‘I won’t be long with the tea.’

  Glen got up from his chair and said to her, ‘You come and sit by the fire while I make the tea.’ He gave her a look that told her he’d already had one whereas she hadn’t.

  Desperate for a warm, Jan didn’t argue with him. Sitting on the edge of an armchair, she held out her hands towards the fire for a moment then gave them a rub together before withdrawing them to rest demurely in her lap. She shot Cait an awkward smile. She wished now that their visitor hadn’t accepted the offer of another cup of tea and was on her way home so Jan herself could take off her slippers and rest her icy feet on the hearth, then lounge back in her chair to read an old magazine one of her colleagues at work had given her. She was also intrigued as to why Cait had called and hoped Glen would put her out of her misery soon. She’d no idea how to make small talk with someone half her age, and the boss’s daughter to boot. She could hear Glen clanking around in the kitchen and wished he would hurry up.

  Cait meanwhile, with acute embarressment, had finally recognised Jan as the woman she had sacked for speaking out of turn about her mother that first morning she had gone into Rose’s. She wanted to apologise to Mrs Trainer for her own inexcusable behaviour. She took a deep breath and said, ‘I recognise you now, Mrs Trainer. You work at Rose’s too, don’t you? Look, I need . . .’

  Jan was reluctant to revisit their unpleasant initial meeting so hurriedly replied, ‘Yes, I do. In the canteen. Next time I bring you up a tray of tea, I’ll make sure I add a nice cake for you.’ Then to change the subject, she said, ‘I think we’re in for some snow. It’s certainly cold enough for it, in my opinion.’

  Cait was astute enough to realise that the older woman did not want to talk about their first encounter, so responded, ‘I wonder if we’ll have a white Christmas this year then?’

  Jan nodded. ‘Mmm, yes, that would be nice. Traditional like.’

  They both sat in silence for a moment, each seeking something to say next. It was Cait who thought of something first.

  ‘Have you finished all your present shopping or have you still some to do?’

  Jan wanted to buy something for Glen. This would be his first proper Christmas since Cait’s mother had ripped his life apart so she was determined to make the day as special as she could for him. She was certainly looking forward to seeing his face when she told him on Christmas morning to look under the tree and see if Santa had left him anything, but just what that gift would be depended entirely on how much money she had left from her first full wage packet. There was barely anything over from the money she had purloined from Harry’s fund for the needy. She just responded, ‘Still got a bit to do. What about yourself?’

  Cait had no one to buy a present for as matters stood. Then it struck her that maybe she should get a little something for Agnes as a thank you for all her kindness in Cait’s time of need. She responded to Jan, ‘Like you, still have a bit to do.’

  The Thomases had money to spend so Jan assumed their Christmases would reflect that. ‘I expect Mrs Thomas pushes the boat out at this time of year, entertaining lots of family and friends.’ Then she remembered that Glen had told her Nerys was an orphan and Cait an only child, and forgot she wasn’t supposed to know this. In her need to keep the conversation flowing and avoid any awkward silence, she continued, ‘Oh, of course, your mother being an orphan and you an only child, I expect you’ll be going to a friend’s this year, won’t you?’

  Cait frowned at her quizzically. ‘How did you know that my mother is an orphan . . . both my parents are, in fact . . . and that I am only child?’

  Jan stared at her. How careless not to watch what she was saying ‘Er . . . well . . . you told me, didn’t you?’

  Cait shook her head. ‘No, I didn’t.’

  Jan gave a nervous laugh. ‘Well, I must have heard it at work. You know how it is, people like to gossip . . . makes them feel superior letting others know they know something the rest of us don’t.’ She hoped her explanation was enough to placate Cait and, not wanting her to think too deeply about it, asked again, ‘So friends, is it, you’re spending Christmas Day with?’

  Cait could have lied to her, but what did it matter to this woman what she was actually doing on Christmas Day? ‘No, actually. I’ve decided to have a quiet time on my own this year. I’m really looking forward to it.’

  But Jan noticed the way she averted her eyes to look into the fire when she said this, which made her wonder whether Cait was being truthful. To Jan’s way of thinking someone being on their own, whether by choice or not, on Christmas Day was a bleak prospect.

  ‘Christmas is a time for spending with others. It won’t be any fun eating dinner on your own . . . and who will you pull a cracker with?’ she protested.

  Cait didn’t want to discuss this topic
any longer as it was only serving to remind her that she was virtually alone in the world, except for her fledging friendship with Agnes. ‘Honestly, I really am looking forward to spending the day quietly, Mrs Trainer,’ she insisted.

  Jan wasn’t convinced. ‘I don’t like the thought of anyone spending Christmas Day on their own, so all I’ll say is, if you should change your mind, then you are more than welcome to come here. Please don’t forget as I mean it. It won’t be the sort of day you’ll be used to, no expense spared so to speak, but we can at least provide company for you.’

  Cait was very touched by Jan’s invitation. It was the first genuine offer of company she’d had. ‘Thank you, Mrs Trainer.’

  Jan was feeling uncomfortable. ‘I have to tell you that I’m not Mrs Trainer, so it’s not right to let you keep calling me that. My name is Clayton. Janet Clayton. I prefer Jan to Janet, though. Me and Glen, well, we live together. I’m sure some people who know at the factory think we live in sin, but we don’t. We’re just friends, nothing more. We each have our own bedroom. We found ourselves in a position where we both needed somewhere to live but couldn’t afford places on our own, so we pooled resources.’

  Cait was looking at her with interest. ‘What a good idea. Better than having nowhere to live.’

  Jan said ironically, ‘Just a bit.’

  The girl then mused to herself, ‘I shall have to consider getting someone to share with me if I can’t find a decent place I can afford on my own.’

  She was speaking louder than she’d realised and Jan heard her. ‘You’re surely not thinking of leaving home just yet? You’re far too young to be fending for yourself.’

  Cait stared at her blankly for a moment before she responded, ‘Well, we all have to make our own way in the world at some time, don’t we?’

  Jan gave a shrug. ‘I suppose so. Your mother might not see it that way, though. I doubt she’ll let you leave without trying to get you to wait a little longer.’

  An expression flashed over the young woman’s face then, one that Jan couldn’t quite read. She had no time to decipher it. As quickly as it had appeared it was gone. But she had definitely seen sadness and fear, she realised.

  At long last Glen arrived with two steaming cups of tea rattling in their saucers as he tried not to spill any. Jan had never been so relieved to see him, grateful that her fight to keep the conversation flowing was at an end and now he could take over.

  Ten minutes later Cait thanked him again for his help, and both of them for their hospitality, and took her leave.

  After seeing her out, Glen returned to sit back in his armchair and looked at Jan for a moment. She was staring into the fire, seeming very thoughtful. Finally he asked her, ‘You all right, Jan?’

  ‘Eh? Oh, no, I don’t think I am.’

  ‘Have you a headache? I can pop to the corner shop and get you something for it, if you have.’

  ‘Ah, thanks, Glen, I appreciate that, but no, I haven’t got a headache. It’s just that . . .’

  ‘Just what?’

  She sighed. ‘It’s just that I don’t think all is well there.’

  He looked confused. ‘All’s not well where, Jan?’

  ‘With that young woman.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘Well, I can’t pinpoint it exactly. Just a couple of times when we were talking, I felt that she wasn’t being truthful.’

  ‘She was lying, you mean?’

  ‘No, she wasn’t lying. But, like I said, not being entirely truthful either.’

  ‘You’re making no sense to me,’ Glen told her, befuddled.

  ‘Well, for instance, we were discussing Christmas and she told me she really wanted to spend the day on her own, was looking forward to it, but all my instincts told me that she wasn’t one bit. That’s what I mean.’

  Glen frowned thoughtfully. ‘Well, she told me that day in the office that she hadn’t got any friends. I suppose she hasn’t anyone else to spend Christmas Day with. She obviously felt embarrassed and didn’t want you to feel sorry for her.’

  ‘Mmm, yes, I suppose. I did say she was welcome to come here if it was company she was after, but I don’t expect she’ll take it up since we’re old enough to be her parents. But she’s also thinking of leaving home and I sensed that the thought of fending for herself terrified her. So why is she even thinking of doing it? And, Glen, that young woman has an air of great sadness about her. What could she have to be sad about? I mean, to me she’s living a charmed life. A nice house to live in . . . her mother looking after her.’ Jan’s face darkened then. ‘More than she’s doing for your daughter, Glen, after she promised you she’d take care of Lucy.’

  He was thinking the same. ‘And all I want to do now is find my daughter and put this all behind us. Try and do everything I can to make up for lost time with her.’

  Jan smiled at him. ‘Yes, you’re right. Hot milk?’

  ‘Yes, please. While you do that, I’ll see to heating the stone bottles to warm up the beds.’

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  On turning into the main street after leaving the road Glen and Jan’s flat was on, to Cait’s utter dismay she saw a bus pulling away from the stop. The bitter cold was already seeping through her thick winter coat and chilling her bones. She was also very hungry and tired, having had nothing to eat since a cheese cob in the office, and did not at all relish the thought of the wait that lay ahead of her until the next bus arrived, then another wait on top of that for the second bus that would ferry her home. Dragging her feet, she walked the rest of the way to the bus stop and leaned wearily against the post. She looked around. A shop front directly opposite caught her attention. It belonged to a taxi firm. She smiled to herself. She would get a car home, and in a very short time be sitting tucking into the dinner Agnes would have put in the low oven to keep warm for her.

  She darted across the road and into the taxi office. At the counter she gave her address and was told a car would pick her up in ten minutes. Cait took a seat on a red plastic-covered bench that ran under the shopfront window and picked up a tattered magazine to look through while she waited. The wall-mounted radio was playing a selection of Christmas songs: ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ and ‘Winter Wonderland’ – in case anyone needed reminding what time of year it was.

  Lost in the article she was reading, Cait wasn’t aware of another customer coming in until she felt the pressure of someone sitting down nearby her on the bench and automatically looked up to see who it was. As her eyes met the newcomer’s she froze. He looked shocked too. They both stared at each other for several long moments before Neil looked away, got up, spoke briefly to the man behind the desk then made his way outside. Cait turned her head to look through the window and saw him leaning against the window of the shop next-door. She felt a great need to apologise to him for what she now realised must have been a very difficult time. She needed him to know that the person he thought her to be no longer existed, in the hope that he might not feel so embarrassed by the situation then.

  Saying she would be outside for a few moments should her taxi arrive, she went to join him.

  As soon as he saw her come out of the door, Neil said to her awkwardly, ‘Look, Cait, I know you must be hurt by the way I finished our relationship—’

  She cut in, ‘I was, Neil, very much so, and also very confused. I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong, but since our breakup a lot has happened to me. I’m now in a position to see myself as others did. I loved you so very much, Neil, but I now know that the person I was then wasn’t very easy to love back or to be around either. I wanted you to know that I am very sorry for putting you through what I did.’ Just then a voice called out from the taxi office next-door that her car was arriving. Simultaneously, it drew up at the kerbside. For Cait it had arrived at just the right time. She had said all she wanted to and hopefully now Neil wouldn’t remember her quite so bitterly.

  She made a dash for the taxi, yanked open the door and jumpe
d inside, turning her head to look out of the opposite window so that Neil could not see her tears of deep regret as the car pulled away.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  In two separate households, roughly four miles apart, two entirely different Christmas Days were being experienced.

  Inside the shabby flat, standing beside Jan near the fireplace, a blazing fire burning brightly inside it, Glen was staring at the gaily wrapped parcel he was holding. Jan meanwhile was looking on, silently urging him to open it so she could see by his face whether her choice of gift had been a good one. Finally she could stand it no longer and snapped at him, ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, stop staring at it like the village idiot and open the damned thing!’

  He lifted his eyes from the parcel and grinned at her. ‘Don’t be a spoilsport, Jan. It’s been many a long year since I’ve had a present to open on Christmas Day and I want to savour every moment.’ Then he looked at the brown paper-wrapped parcel she was holding and urged her, ‘You open yours first, then I’ll do mine.’

  She chuckled, saying, ‘Oh, you’re acting like a big kid. Tell you what, we’ll open them together.’

  ‘All right,’ he agreed.

  Jan was desperate to find out what he had bought her and had the paper off before Glen had even made a start on his. Inside was a pair of brown woollen gloves. Jan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh because she had bought Glen exactly the same thing as he had, to keep his hands warm in this bitter winter weather they were experiencing. Cry because although they were just friends, and although she hadn’t expected a gift from him at all, she had foolishly hoped for something pretty that would make her feel more feminine. Her clothes consisted of two gabardine skirts, one black and the other dark green, two plain blouses and two brown cardigans, along with a change of unflattering underwear. She had bought them all from the second-hand shop to tide her over until their monetary situation improved or Harry found time between his work and church duties to send her belongings round.