Finding Abel (Rebel Hearts Book 1)

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  He abandoned me there in the hall, where I stood for a long moment before I returned to the bathroom to finish dressing.

  I thought longingly of the ice blue, party dress I had coveted on my shopping outing with Addie yesterday. She’d tried her best to talk me into it, yet I refused out of sheer stubbornness. I slipped into my boring black sheath dress with three-quarter sleeves. It was pretty and flattering, but the dress yesterday had matched my eyes and made them pop, and I’d loved the way it flared around my thighs.

  Oh well, I sighed. The black dress was fine for the party. It wasn’t a new dress occasion, I told myself. I twisted my hair back into a simple chignon at my nape, and took one last look in the mirror, satisfied with my light makeup. A sort of smoky eye was about the extent of my skill level with a makeup brush. I never tried to be very adventurous in the makeup department for that reason. I applied a little gloss to my lips and then sauntered into my bedroom, eyeing my footwear choices. I was tempted to go with the sex-kitten black heels with the studded stem. They were sexy and gorgeous and didn’t get taken out of the closet nearly enough, but instead chose a more sensible pair of cute flats. It wasn’t the night for sex-kitten shoes.

  “You look stunning,” Jason greeted me in the kitchen.

  I swept my hands over the bodice of the dress. “It’s nothing special. You’ve seen me wear this dress a hundred times.” It was my go-to LBD.

  “And you look beautiful every time.” He rested his hands on my hips and eyed me hungrily.

  “Stop it,” I laid my hand on his chest, “or we won’t make it to the party.”

  He let out a low chuckle and kissed my forehead. “Then we better go before that sounds any more enticing.”

  Jason insisted on driving and followed my directions easily to the ritzy Brookline neighborhood. He let out a low whistle when we finally pulled up to the gated property. “I expected it to be big, but . . .”

  “It’s something else, isn’t it?” McCabe Manor, as I had always liked to call it, was the perfect blend of vintage architecture and modern beauty. Big but not garish, beautiful but not ostentatious, impressive but not in your face, and somehow, despite its grand stature, it always managed to look homey and inviting, or maybe that was just because for me it was like home.

  The gate was open, and several cars already took up space in the wide, circular drive. I instructed Jason to pull his car up next to them.

  “Take a deep breath,” I told him before we got out. “They’re just people.”

  “I know that,” he scowled at my teasing, then added, “You wouldn’t think I’d still be intimidated, but it is a little daunting, and yet this is normal life to you. They’re just your family.” He shook his head. “Maybe one day it will stop being surreal to me. Do I lose cool points for this?”

  I laughed lightly. “What cool points do you think you have?” His scowl deepened and so did my laugh. “It’s okay, I know they’re a lot. And you haven’t even met all of my uncles yet.”

  “Please stop me if you catch me trying to ask them for autographs.”

  “Deal.” Hand in hand we made our way to the front door. Just before pulling it open, I turned to him with a playful grin and said, “Don’t be nervous.”

  “I’m not nervous,” he clipped a little too harshly for it to be believable and I couldn’t help my chuckle.

  “You’re nervous.” I squeezed his hand and dragged him inside the foyer, where Bruce and Wayne came bounding in to greet us, with lolling tongues and wagging tails. Aiden was responsible for naming the furry aussie and husky. Lively chatter and laughing could be heard deeper in the house. Still holding onto Jason’s hand, with Bruce and Wayne on our heels, I led him through the partially open floor-plan until we found everyone gathered around the large family room just off the kitchen.

  Abel was the first to see us from where he stood off to one side with both of our dads and my Uncle Chris. His eyes lit up momentarily, before he shuttered his expression. My stomach flip-flopped and I offered a tiny smile.

  “Abbi!” Addie cried excitedly. “Get in here.” She waved us over. I wove my way through the room, towing Jason along, offering hugs and introductions as we went.

  “Who’s this?” Uncle Ace and Uncle D both gave Jason a hard once-over.

  “My boyfriend, Jason.” I laughed as Jason’s expression returned to childlike wonder, and said, “I guess I don’t need to introduce these two.”

  “N-no you don’t,” Jason stammered and stuck his hand out. “So good to meet you guys.” He then gave Jesse and Jaime, who were gathered around the same table, the guy nod.

  I leaned up to whisper in Jason’s ear, “You good here if I leave you for a few?”

  “I’m more than good, that’s Ace and Spade,” he whispered back as if this might somehow be news to me. Ace and Spade were the terrible twosome of Ashes and Embers, although Spade had dropped the moniker except to the outside world, and was just Uncle Damien, or Uncle D around here.

  I rolled my eyes and then excused myself to join Addie and our moms who were seated around the larger coffee table across the room along with my other aunts and Jaime’s wife.

  “So that’s the fella?” Aunt Claire said as I joined them.

  “That’s him,” I said, hugging her and then Aunt Mia and Sadie.

  “He’s cute,” Aunt Sadie commented.

  “And a gentleman to boot,” Aunt Mia added. “He’s a sweetie.” She and Uncle Chris weren’t strangers to Jason, and Uncle Chris wasn’t just my honorary uncle. He had the luck or misfortune, depending on which of them you asked, to be my dad’s big brother.

  “Yes, he’s a great guy,” Aunt Jax commented, giving me an affectionate look.

  “We really like him,” my mom chimed in proudly.

  You’d think hearing about how wonderful everyone thought Jason was would make me ecstatic, but all I wanted was to change the subject. I turned to Molly, “Where’s that baby girl? I’m in desperate need of cuddles.”

  “Around here somewhere,” she glanced around only half searching, not genuinely concerned. “Darcy stole her first chance she got. I think she’s with the guys in the game room.” Made sense that’s where her sister-in-law would be. Darcy was like a next level techie genius and nerd. Computers, game systems, robots, that was the language she spoke. She had some swanky job at a big tech company here in Boston, and there wasn’t one of the guys who could kick her ass at any game. You’d think she was Uncle Chris and Aunt Mia’s child, because they were big gaming nerds too. But genius totally ran in Uncle Ace’s family, even if it passed over him. His brother was some kind of super scientist doing top secret government work.

  Abel and I were always convinced he was building Terminators though he adamantly denied it.

  “And how does it feel to be a grandma?” I asked Aunt Sadie. That was all it took for the conversation to take off and attention to completely transfer from me to baby Amelia. Unable to help the direction my thoughts went, my eyes shifted to Aunt Jax. She and Uncle Ky were about to join them as grandparents. Would Abel and Katya have a boy or a girl? I pictured a baby boy with his eyes and smile. I shouldn’t have. It gutted me.

  Something in my gaze must have given my thoughts away, because Aunt Jax seemed to understand. Everything I felt was reflected in her eyes as we shared that moment. It was too much. I looked away and plastered a fake smile on my face as I let myself be swept up into conversation.

  Before long, I was laughing and smiling for real. It was impossible not to surrounded by these people. My crazy family. It was like a game of musical chairs, people popping in and out of conversations, moving about the room, teasing banter, bad jokes, friendly debates, old stories and new ones filling the room.

  “So there I am, spit-up on my shirt that I didn’t even notice, and my hair,” Molly’s cringe was comical, “I hadn’t washed it in days. Not to mention I was running on no sleep, but of course I wouldn’t just tell Jaime I was having a hard time, because I thought I was suppos
ed to be super-mom and be able to do it all. Instead, I was a hot, disgusting mess, crying in the diaper aisle with six bottles of wine in my shopping cart, and the stock boy looking at me like he was sure I just escaped from the mental hospital. He just kept staring at me until finally I just lost it. Like a total psycho, I went off on this kid about life and babies and motherhood.

  “God, I must have traumatized him. He had to be about sixteen, seventeen, and there I am, going on about my hormones and the changes in my body and how hard breastfeeding is, and then the kid just hugs me awkwardly and tells me it’s going to be alright. Of course, I started crying even harder. Real ugly sobbing, and then pretty soon I was laughing at the ridiculousness of it all and the kid started laughing, and then it was just incredibly awkward and embarrassing. I haven’t set foot in that store since. I just know he told all of his coworkers about the crazy woman, so now I drive an extra four miles to go the one on the other side of town.”

  The mothers in the group chuckled through sympathetic and understanding grins, while the rest of us just laughed period.

  “Probably did that kid a favor. He won’t be knocking up any high school girls anytime soon,” Nash sniggered.

  Jaime, who was standing behind Molly’s spot on the couch, bent down and kissed the top of her head. “You’re doing amazing, baby. Amelia and I are lucky to have you.”

  She tipped her head back and grinned up at him. “Couldn’t do it without you. Seriously,” she lowered her chin and looked to her mother-in-law. “He’s been so incredible since I confessed my breakdown in the diaper aisle. Taking extra days off, getting up with Amelia, taking her for daddy-daughter-time so I can have a break. The night before we flew out here, he came home from work with a few bottles of wine, and packed Amelia up just to take her for a drive because he’d arranged for my mom and my best friend to come over and help me out with laundry and dishes and all the things I was behind on.”

  “Amelia loves car rides,” Jaime shrugged as if he hadn’t done anything at all, but I was proud of him. We’d all been a little shocked and unsure of what to think when he got engaged at twenty and married at twenty-one, and then moved out to Molly’s hometown in Oregon. He was a little rebel and trouble-maker, same as the rest of the guys, before he met Molly, but he’d truly settled into the family life over the last couple years, and it looked good on him. I’d never seen him happier.

  Pangs of jealousy shot through me.

  It was supposed to be me.

  My self-pitying thoughts were swept away as quickly as they came when Aunt Jax announced it was cake time and started ushering everyone into the kitchen. She had to drag Abel against his protests, and then we all gathered around a decadent looking chocolate masterpiece. Death by Chocolate it was called. Devil’s food with chocolate mousse filling, chocolate cream frosting, topped with rich chocolate ganache and garnished with chocolate and white chocolate curls. It was Abel’s favorite.

  In typical fashion, Aunt Jax had counted out twenty-six candles. They covered the top tier of the cake. Abel tried to snatch the lighter from her hands as she went to light them. She swatted his hand away. “You just shush and stand there until I tell you to blow them out.”

  She made it half-way through the lighting when the doorbell chimed and she looked up with a scrunched brow. “Who else are we expecting?” she asked no one in particular, and then hollered, “It’s a party, come in!”

  The sound of the front door opening had us all looking toward the front of the house. There was the click of heels, and then a gorgeous brunette appeared from the foyer. Tall, more so with the added height of her six-inch heels, elegant, and flawless. Those were the first words that came to mind when staring at Katya Petravisky. Or was it McCabe now?

  She certainly didn’t look fat. She no doubt had one of those tiny, adorably little baby bumps hidden under her flowy dress. One more reason to envy her.

  She froze, taking everyone in, and then chirped, “Hello!” in her slightly accented voice, waving as she did. Nobody else got a word out before Abel rounded the counter and started toward her. “Kat, what are you doing here?” he growled softly through gritted teeth.

  Her perfectly poised expression fell somewhat.

  I looked away and my gaze collided with Addie’s. She gave me a can you believe this look, and then snapped her glare back to her brother and his wife. I let myself look as well, but Abel was dragging Katya away from everyone and into the foyer. An uncomfortable silence descended on the room as we all shamelessly did our best to listen in. We didn’t have to strain all that hard once Katya raised her voice shrilly. “I’m your wife! Why wouldn’t I come to your birthday party?”

  Abel growled something else that we couldn’t hear and then Katya hissed back. “No! I’m tired of sitting at home waiting for you to come back. Besides, it’s time I meet your family, after all, they’re my family now too.”

  There were more hushed words exchanged and then the two of them reappeared, Katya’s hand tucked inside Abel’s. He was tense, jaw clenched, brow pulled in a tight line as he lead her toward the kitchen. His eyes found mine and held my gaze, trapped. There was an apology written all over his face. Katya’s eyes followed his, and there was loathing written all over hers.

  I quickly looked away and turned to Jason at my back.

  Jason. My boyfriend.

  His bemused and slightly questioning expression said he’d picked up on the tension in the room. It was so thick, you’d have to be equally thick not to. I gave him a weak smile, and then Aunt Jax was the first to step up and greet her daughter-in-law.

  “Welcome, Katya, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” A round of awkward introductions followed, and Katya was the only one who acted oblivious to the mood of the room. Abel passed right over me and I was sure it was no accident.

  “His wife is just now meeting his family?” Jason whispered discreetly in my ear.

  I shrugged, absolutely not wanting to go there.

  With Katya officially welcomed into the family, the candle lighting resumed, and then, per tradition, the room, filled primarily with musicians, broke into the most ear-assaulting, tonally offensive rendition of happy birthday ever heard. Even Bruce and Wayne barked their displeasure at the sound, adding to the cacophony.

  I almost laughed out loud at the abhorrent look on Kat’s face.

  Applause broke out when the awful singing finally stopped, and Abel bent and blew out his candles.

  “Okay, now who wants a piece?” Aunt Jax hip checked Abel out of the way, wielding her large cake knife.

  “You know I do,” he said. “Just put half the cake on one plate and you all can share the other half.”

  “You have to try a piece,” I told Jason, “it’s sooo good.”

  “Should I snag us one to share?”

  “Not if you’re hoping to get a bite,” I grinned.

  “Two pieces it is.” He wove his way into the fray for cake like my hero.

  When he returned, I snatched one plate from him greedily and wasted no time in digging in. “Mmmmm,” I groaned.

  “You’re right, this is incredible,” Jason mumbled around a mouthful.

  “Kat, would you like a piece?” Aunt Jax offered.

  “No thank you, all that refined sugar isn’t good for the baby.”

  The room went quiet again except for Addie who exclaimed loudly, “What the hell?”

  “Dammit, Kat,” Abel cursed. “Was that seriously necessary?”

  “What?” she whined innocently. “They were going to find out eventually. I can’t hide it under loose clothes much longer.”

  “Not like that,” he bit out before snagging a bottle of whiskey off the counter and taking his cake with him out of the room.

  Addie stormed over to me, snarling under her breath, “Can you believe this shit? She’s pregnant! Agh, I guess it finally makes sense.” She was fuming. “Wait, why don’t you look as shocked as everyone else?” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you know about this?”
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  I swallowed thickly and glanced at Jason, “Uh, yeah. He told me the night of the football game . . . I think he just didn’t know how to tell you yet. He only just told your mom too.” I shifted attention away from me. Sorry, Aunt Jax.

  “Mom knew?”

  “Like I said, he only just told her. Don’t be too hard on either of them.”

  “Oh don’t worry, I’m not going to go off on Mom. She was just being protective. My brother on the other hand . . . I can’t believe he could be so stupid,” she growled.

  “You don’t know the whole story,” I said weakly.

  “You do?” she raised her brow and then glanced at Jason, biting back whatever she was about to say next.

  I shifted on my feet. “I’m just saying, there might be more to it. Don’t rip his head off until you let him talk.”

  “Uh huh, I’m sure there is.” Here eyes were narrowed suspiciously on me. Which was all the reason I needed to make an escape.

  “I’m going to see if I can get my turn with baby Amelia. You good?” I asked Jason.

  “Yeah, go ahead. Nash still has a story about an underground fight in Colorado to finish.”

  I laid my hand on his chest and smiled. “Should I be worried about your man crush?”

  “Only if he gets me drunk,” he winked, and slipped away.

  I sought out Amelia with Addie on my heels. “You got some ‘splainin to do. Since when are you and Abel so close that he’d tell you before he’d tell me?”

  “It’s not like that,” I said, continuing my search of the room. Last I saw the baby she was licking frosting off Jesse’s fingers.

  “Then what’s it like.”

  I sighed and stopped. “He came to see me after the football game to talk. He needed a friend.”

  She stared at me through narrowed eyes. “So he married her because he got her pregnant?”

  “Go talk to him,” I groaned.

  “Fine, but one more thing, next time my brother shows up at your door,” she said sharply, “would you steal him from that bitch?”

  I let out a deep breath. “Your brother and I are just friends, Addie.”