He has a brown bag with a bottle inside that I suspect is wine for our dinner. I also know just where he went and why. I ask, “Wine and Cheese shop?”
I slip my arms into my coat, and Christian’s eyes crinkle a little at the edges as he smiles and answers, “Yup.”
I wave to Casey as he pushes open the door. “Neal was working?”
His smirk gets bigger. “Yup.”
My boots tap a lively beat on brick. “You just couldn’t resist letting him know you were back, could you?”
“Nope. Just making my intentions known.”
Intentions? I wonder Christian; do you think it’s that easy?
Chapter 52
When Christian fills the small side sink with ice and water to chill the bottle, I discover it’s champagne. A very expensive champagne. Casey was right; he’s wooing me in a big way. He says, “Give me a job. Can I cut something?”
I toss the shallot to him and he catches it easily. “Mince.”
He does the job with gusto, and his knife chops quickly. Christian’s quite pleased with himself about something, and his joyful mood is contagious.
He pours the minced onion into the pan of melted butter. “Want me to sauté these?”
“Yes, please.” The drawer of the refrigerator rattles as I pull out broccoli. I toss it his way when he holds out hands.
I walk over with the chicken. “You’re in a really good mood. Why?”
He stops chopping to answer. “Because I’m where I should be, with the woman I love more than anything.”
“Oh.” The chicken package slaps against the counter when I set it beside his cutting board. I want to tell him I’m happy to be with the man I love more than anything too, but my damn pride won’t let me take the chance.
The container of cream is cool in my hand as I hold it while retrieving the shredded cheese. I change the subject, and we talk about the Vail location and my hopes for the shop’s design.
When we move to the table to eat dinner, Christian makes a production of opening the champagne. The cork pops, and I watch a fine mist rise from the bottle. He pours it carefully into the flutes, and the bubbles dance along the edges of the glass.
We lift our crystal and he says, “To starting over.”
Our glasses clink and I take a sip. The flavor is light and crisp on my tongue. I let it sit and savor the sensation of effervescence. “This is really good.”
He reaches over to take my hand. “I’m glad you like it. It seemed fitting to be extravagant tonight.”
I pull my hand away to twirl pasta on my fork slowly as cheesy sauce drips off. “Why’s that?”
“Oh, being here feels so right, and it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy. I wanted to celebrate.”
Again, I’m not ready to approach the subject of us and move the conversation back toward work. I manage to keep us there through cleaning up. When we’re done, Christian fills both our glasses with the rest of the champagne and takes my hand to lead me to the living room. He removes my flute from my fingers and sets it down on the coffee table with his.
He’s standing inches from me, and my insides melt at the proximity. Slowly, as if he’s afraid to scare me, he moves his hands to take my face in them. “I want to kiss you, Dannika.” He leans down and I know I should refuse, but I can’t.
I nod slowly as if hypnotized. And I am; I’m hypnotized by his touch and his very being. The moment his lips touch mine I’m home. His tongue plunges in, and I meld my body to his. A small cry comes out of me as I lose myself in being with Christian again after so long.
When his hand moves toward my breast I break away. “No. This is too fast.” I shake my head and step back. “You can’t just walk back into my life as if nothing happened.”
“I know. You’re my all-or-nothing girl, aren’t you?” His voice is husky, and it reverberates through my core, which aches with need.
“I am. And I’m afraid to trust you. How do I know you won’t decide this is wrong and take off again in a couple of weeks?”
He reaches into his pocket and drops down on his knees before me as he removes something and holds in his closed fist. Lifting one leg up to place a foot on the floor, I realize what he’s about to do.
Oh, God, no. I’m not ready.
“Dannika, will you marry me?” I can’t seem to move as I stare into his eyes. They are full of love that I believe is true. But my heart is still too raw, and when he takes my hand to put the ring on my finger I shake my head. “Stop.”
I step back as tears roll down my cheeks, and I swipe my sleeve across my face. Christian’s face falls, and I say, “I meant it when I said this is too fast. I can’t jump back into us, Christian. You hurt me too much for that.”
He stands up and puts the ring back in his pocket. A tiny piece of me wishes I had gotten a good look at it. “It’s okay, princess. I’ve had time to think about this, and I haven’t allowed you the same luxury. I’m sorry.”
He lifts his arms to me. “Let me hold you. I only want to hold you.”
So I do. I let him hold me as my tears fall. The cotton of his shirt gets soaked with them, and probably mucus too, by the time I’m done crying.
When I recover I say, “Neal and I have two rooms.”
“I know.”
“I can’t lie and say I don’t still love you, but you need to give me time. Give me time to believe you again.”
He kisses my forehead. “I will. You take all the time you need. You’re my forever, and I’ll wait as long as it takes.” His lips brush my check and move down my neck as he keeps the contact as light as air. Christian pulls me back into a hug and whispers into my hair, “I love you, princess. I’m never leaving you again, no matter what.”
Every ounce of me wants to believe him, but the pain of losing him weeks ago can’t be ignored. I cuddle into him and let his warmth work at healing my damaged heart.
Chapter 53
I sent Christian home at ten with the idea I would sleep. Fat chance. I tossed and turned over his proposal. When the sun finally came up, I took the dogs out and burned off some energy. I dropped them at Christian’s on the way back from our walk and didn’t hang around, claiming I was chilled and needed a shower.
Exhausted physically and emotionally, I fill my travel mug with piping hot coffee, expecting Neal any minute. The aroma promises energy I desperately need. I have my laptop and plan to create a mock catalogue design while in the car to keep my mind occupied. We meet with the art director next week, and I want to have my vision ready for him.
I know Neal will do his best to keep me entertained too. He’s got wonderful stories to tell, and the trip will be a pleasant distraction. Grabbing my overnight bag, I step outside to wait. The spring sun is offering another warm day. Icicles are already dripping from my eaves as tiny rivers of water stream down the slight incline of asphalt on my driveway.
I wonder if Christian is watching out the window as Neal pulls up. Not that it matters. I don’t think he’s jealous any longer, unless he’s second-guessing my reaction to his proposal last night. I dismiss the thought because Christian isn’t insecure.
When I climb in the car, Neal says, “Pardon me for saying this, but you look like hell. Are you okay?”
I have no doubt, considering the puffy state of my eyes combined with my lack of sleep. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I turn to him as he gives me his attention before shifting from reverse to drive. “I’m looking forward to today. It’s beautiful out.”
He grins. “That it is. Did you get a chance to eat? I brought pastries.”
While I hadn’t thought about it, the scent of sugary baked goods must have registered because I’m hungry. “There is a God. Sugar is exactly what I need, thank you.”
“So your ex-boyfriend’s back in town, huh?”
I have a mouthful of cinnamon roll and want to enjoy the sugar rush, so I hold up my hand to indicate he’ll have to wait. I swallow and say, “He is.” I don’t mention that I know he
sold Christian expensive champagne or what it was supposed to be celebrating, and I wonder about their conversation.
I also wonder if he thinks my physical state is due to Christian. I guess he does when he reaches over to take my hand and says, “I’ll make sure you have a wonderful time today. No more tears.”
Damn it. But his hand feels good, so I let him hold on for a little while before pulling away. I don’t want to think about Christian right now. “Have you ever skied Aspen?”
The ride goes by quickly as Neal keeps me entertained. He’s doing a great job of distracting me, and by the time we get there I’m in a good mood. The location tour is successful. Aspen has a section of shops that are for walking traffic only, and Neal owns a big building that houses many retail spaces with spots that can work for me.
Benches are set out in the brick walkways between the buildings, and we stop to enjoy an afternoon coffee. I’ve pulled my feet up and am resting them on the edge of the bench, making my knees come close to my face.
He asks, “Want to talk about what happened with Christian last night?”
I wrap my arms around my legs and hug them. “That’s sweet Neal, but I don’t think you’re the right person to be talking to.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll find this hard to believe, but I’ve suffered from a broken heart too.”
“Really?” I tease. “You’re right; it is hard to believe that about you. Tell me the story.”
“A couple of years ago I thought I found the one. She didn’t feel the same way, and I was too blind to see it. I proposed and she turned me down.” He sighs and I know the memory must be painful because his stories usually have more detail. I think I’m beginning to understand why he’s such a player.
“Oh, Neal, that’s awful.” I reach over and take his hand. “Have you let yourself fall in love since?”
He turns on the bench and looks at me. “Yes. But she doesn’t feel the same way, and I can’t force her to.”
Heat rises to my cheeks at his admission. “Neal.”
“It’s okay. I never expected it. I’ve known since the first time I saw her with the other guy it wasn’t going to happen. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling her pain and wanting to make things better any way I can.”
I reach up and touch his face. His skin is soft, and his green eyes are warm in the spring sun. I want to tell him he’ll find the right one and she’ll make me look pale in comparison. I want to make things better for him too. “You’re a catch, you know. The right one will find you.”
He gives me a half smile. “One can always hope.”
“Christian wants me back. But he hurt me when he moved to New York and gave up on us and our life here. I’m having a hard time forgiving him and moving on.”
“You love him still, don’t you?”
“I do. But if he decides this life isn’t right either, I don’t think I can take the heartbreak all over again.” I reach for my coffee knowing it’s cold, but I take a sip anyway.
Neil takes the drink from me and sets it down. He holds my hands and gazes into my eyes. “That’s the thing about a true love though. You have to forgive mistakes and put yourself out there for them. Because when you find the person that becomes your world, and you become theirs, it’s worth the sacrifice.”
“Neal, you’re such a romantic. I had no idea.” But while I make light of what he said, I take the words to heart. Christian is my world, and maybe I need to swallow my pride for my everything. Suddenly staying overnight doesn’t appeal to me, and I wish we could go home instead.
Neal must sense the shift in my mood and he says, “I’m not so sure I want to stay tonight. If we leave now, we can be home at a reasonable hour. What do you say?”
“I think you’re an incredible man, and whoever you end up with will have me to answer to if she ever hurts you.” I take his face in my hands and kiss him. It’s more than just brushing my lips against his as I let Neal know I could imagine loving him.
On the trip back exhaustion finally wins, and I doze most of the way. It’s dark when we pull into my driveway. I lean over and give Neal a hug before getting out. I inhale his pleasant scent. “Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a good guy. Thanks for being such a great friend.”
“You’re welcome. Now fix things with Christian and let me know if you need more of that champagne.”
I’m grinning when I turn to wave after I unlock my door. I step inside and pull out my phone. There’s a text from Christian I must have missed when I fell asleep. “Sleep well, love you.”
I text back, “I’m home early if you want to bring the dogs back.” What I’m thinking though, is maybe we can both sleep well tonight.
Chapter 54
Christian’s knock on my door seems to happen within seconds of my text. His face is full of concern as I deal with my excited dogs. “Is everything okay? Did Neal make a move on you?”
“Everything’s fine. Neal was a perfect gentleman. We finished early, and I didn’t want to stay over.” I watch as Christian shuts the door and invites himself in by wandering over to the kitchen. He grabs the dogs’ water bowl and takes it to the sink to fill it with fresh water.
A smile forms on my face, and he asks, “What? What are you smiling about?”
“I’m smiling at the way you don’t give me the chance to shut you out. In case you haven’t noticed, I didn’t invite you in.”
He shrugs and has the grace to pretend his grin is sheepish. “Do you want me to leave?”
I shake my head as I walk toward him. “Nope.”
Metal scratches on the tile as he sets the large water bowl down. I say, “I want to be with you, Christian. My head thinks I’m a fool, but my heart can’t stay away. Why did you leave me?”
He walks toward me and stops. “I was afraid of being hurt. I fell too hard and fast for you, and I couldn’t trust you felt the same way.”
I shake my head. “You know I loved you. Did you think I was like Taylor?”
He nods and steps closer. “At first. I moved back to New York and pretended that’s what my dad would have wanted, but I don’t think it’s true.
The pain in his eyes makes me long to hold him. He continues, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Everywhere I went and everything I did reminded me of you—of us. Maybe I needed to prove to myself I couldn’t live without you.”
He rakes his hands through his hair, making it stand on end as he steps even closer. “The past few months have been hell.”
Christian is standing inches from me, but I don’t back away. The buzz of electricity between us practically sparks into an arc. He licks his lips, and my ability to think waivers.
He says, “I know you aren’t like Taylor, and I should have trusted you. I screwed up in a big way. I love you. Please give me another chance to prove it to you.”
My pulse is pounding in my ears. “I’m willing to take a chance on you. On us.”
I reach out and touch his mouth with my finger. He sucks it in, and a tiny whimper comes from my throat. Cotton bunches in my hand as I grab at his shirt to pull him into a kiss. I take him with it, stripping away what I need as my tongue plunges into his mouth roughly. I want to taste all of him, and I yank at his clothes. A button pops and skitters across the floor as I race to get the shirt off his body quickly. My need to take him for my own is primal, and he lets me ravage him until he’s standing naked.
I step back to scan his body, and my voice is raspy when I order him to sit on the couch. “Don’t move.”
I grab his pants and retrieve the condom from his wallet to throw the slick package to him. Already barefoot, I remove my jeans and panties as he rolls it on. Still in my shirt, I straddle his lap and sink down on him. He hisses at my brutal mount, and I ride him with force until I scream in the ecstasy of my orgasm.
I yank his head back by his hair and suckle his neck. His salty flavor makes me ravenous, and I’m being rough enough I may leave a mark. I can’t help myself.
I’m claiming him as mine and taking what I want, what I need.
Christian’s hips are still thrusting as I move with the rhythm, and another climax is building in me. I growl. “Don’t come yet.”
He grunts in recognition and slows his pace as I quicken my assault. I’m so close, and his body is trembling as he holds on for me. Panting fills my ears and tries to chase away the pounding of my heart as we race to the pinnacle. I cry out, “Christian!”
He lets go too. “Dannika!”
Our bodies heave with exertion, and I slump into him as I say, “God, I missed you.”
My core quivers and flexes around him, and he shudders in response. “Christ, you can do that to me again anytime you want.”
I gyrate my hips and whisper, “Take me upstairs. I’m not done.”
***
The chill against my leg makes me pull at the covers, but they’re already on me. I’m awake enough now to realize Christian is what’s cold. He must have just crawled back into bed. I mumble. “Did you leave?”
“Yeah, I went home for something.” He presses more chilled skin against me.
“In the middle of the night?” I pull him closer to offer my warmth.
His body lifts up. “Princess, are we good now?”
I roll onto my back and look up into his face. Illuminated by moonlight, his cheekbones are prominent, and I stroke his jawline. “Yeah, you’re more than sex for me.”
He chuckles. “Good, because you never really answered my question the other night.”
I bolt up in bed and scramble to the floor. “Oh, no you don’t. Go put clothes on.”
“What?”
“No way am I telling our kids you proposed to me stark naked and smelling like sex. Put them on!”
He chortles as he pulls on his jeans. “I’m commando. Can we tell them that?”
I shoot him a warning glare. “Don’t make me rethink this.”
He shakes his head as he takes his pants off and pulls on underwear. “Perhaps I should find a tie?”
Fierce: New Adult Sport Romance (The Boys of Winter Book 4) Page 23