Cursive

by Phoebe Lane

  "Babydoll, control your friend," Jace said.

  "Stop calling me that!" she snapped playfully at him.

  "So we're going from talking about politics to talking about nighties?" Evan asked.

  "Oh, boy. Time till this turns into sex talk—three …two…one," Aislynn said under her breath while bringing her wine glass to her lips.

  "Well, if you stop to think about it, there's plenty of sex in politics," Ellie said.

  "And here we go."

  "Wow, you really called that one," Jace whispered into Aislynn’s ear as Ellie continued.

  "Politics are all about powerful men with small dicks—not that I would know. Did I just say that out loud? I think I need to stop drinking now," Ellie said nervously, and pushed her wine glass away.

  "How small is considered small anyway?" Jace asked.

  "Well, the average size of the male penis in research studies is five to six inches," Aislynn blurted out, and felt three pair of eyes gawk at her. "What? I went to medical school. I know shit like this!"

  Medical school? She's a doctor? What the hell?

  Jace immediately picked up on the nervous exchange that took place between the girls. Aislynn looked incredibly uncomfortable, like she hadn't meant to reveal that piece of information about herself.

  Why would she want to hide that?

  "You're a doctor?" Evan asked with surprise, while Jace continued to gape at her.

  "I was. In a former life."

  "You're what, twenty-five or twenty-six years old? You're too young to say you've had a former life, unless you're talking about a past life, as in 'I used to be a medic in the Civil War'," Evan joked.

  "I'm twenty-nine, so thank you for that. And yes, I meant a former life. I left practice a year ago."

  "What kind of doctor are you?" Evan asked.

  Jace noticed Ellie smiling softy at Aislynn, almost like she was encouraging Aislynn to open up.

  "I was a psychiatrist," Aislynn finally said.

  "Sabbatical, huh?" Jace whispered to her, and she nodded shyly.

  He unconsciously reached across the table and ran his thumb gently over the top of her hand. Her skin was soft and warm, but he could feel her hand shaking slightly. He felt an overwhelming need to comfort her, but couldn't explain why.

  "Who exactly did they use for this penis size study anyway?" Evan suddenly asked, bringing them back to the conversation. "'Cause I have to say that my—"

  "Stop right there. TMI, dude," Jace interrupted him abruptly.

  "She started it," Evan said, pointing in Aislynn's direction. "Did you have a lecture on G spots in med school? Does it really exist?"

  "The existence of the G spot is a myth. It's as real as Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster. It was brought up by a horny scientist decades ago with very little proof of its existence. It gives men an excuse to avoid spending proper time giving women oral sex, and it gives women another excuse to continue faking their orgasms."

  "Why must you ruin this for me?" Evan asked.

  "I disagree," Ellie added. "I think women can get off by other means beyond clitoral stimulation. For example, I—"

  "Stop right there. TMI, dude," Aislynn interrupted her before turning to Jace, and pointing her finger at Evan and Ellie. "What is it with these two?"

  Jace and Aislynn offered to do the dishes while Ellie and Evan spent some time alone out in the balcony after dinner.

  "I had a great time tonight. I really liked getting to know more stuff about you," Jace said while loading plates into the dishwasher.

  "I did, too. Although, now that I think about it, I didn't really get to hear that much about you."

  "We have time," he said with a smile.

  Jace knew exactly what he wanted to say next, but something held him back. After a few minutes of silence, the intercom buzzer announced the arrival of the cab the girls had called after dinner.

  "I'll pay you an obscene amount of money if you go break up whatever they're doing out there in the balcony," Aislynn said.

  "Rock, paper, scissors?" he asked with a smirk and held his hand up, letting water drip down his arm. Aislynn's scissors won over Jace's paper on the first try. "Two out of three?" he asked.

  "Nope. Now go, before the cab leaves."

  "You owe me, big time," Jace yelled on his way out of the kitchen.

  "So? How did it go?" Evan asked after the girls had left. He had taken over Aislynn's place by the sink and was helping load the rest of the dishes.

  "What do you mean?" Jace said, trying to avoid Evan's question.

  "Fine. Never mind. But I think you're being an idiot, just so you know," Evan said, exasperated.

  "Okay, fine!" he said, and finished drinking the rest of his wine in one big gulp. "I froze. I was going to ask her out, and I couldn't."

  "I don’t get it. Why?"

  "I can't do this, all right? I can't get involved with anyone right now. I can't deal with all this bullshit again. I just can't."

  "That's a lot of 'can't dos', Jace. You know, this is a load of crap coming from someone who went through such a life changing experience just a few years ago," Evan said. "You survived it. Now make it count."

  Driving Ellie to the airport at six in the morning the next day was now at the top of the list of worst ideas ever. Aislynn was not a morning person by any means, and she was even scarier without coffee in her system.

  "When are you flying back?" Aislynn asked Ellie as they got her bags out of the trunk.

  "A week from tomorrow. I was able to rearrange some assignments to San Diego, so I can come back and spend some more time with you," Ellie said with a big smile.

  "And more time with Evan."

  "Well, yeah, and Evan," Ellie said and beamed.

  "I'll miss you."

  "I'll miss you too. I'll see you soon." They hugged each other and Aislynn watched her best friend walk into the airport lobby.

  Just as Aislynn turned to get back into her car, she saw him. Christopher was getting out of a cab and warily waved at her when he spotted her. She became paralyzed, and it wasn't until another car honked at her that she was able to look away.

  Aislynn hurried back into her car, and managed to catch a glimpse of Christopher in her rearview mirror as he walked through the airport doors with his trademark unfaltering strut.

  There he goes. Walking away from me. Again.

  The week Ellie was in Chicago went by in a flash. Aislynn spent the majority of her time working on the novel, now feeling more confident with the ideas and pointers Lana had given her during their meeting.

  The weather had been unseasonably comfortable and dry, so she was able to work most days out in the park while sunbathing and drinking iced coffee. She stealthily avoided calls from her mom for a few days, but the peace didn't last very long. Ellie became her surrogate victim and screamed for help via text.

  I swear to God, if you don't call Pam back and tell her to stop calling me to ask why you won't take her calls, I will shred every single piece of expensive lingerie you own into confetti-size pieces.

  Begrudgingly, Aislynn called Pam to put a stop to her stalker behaviors. As expected, their conversation turned into another opportunity to avoid addressing the elephant in the room.

  Pam talked to Aislynn about the weather, about how the move was going, and even brought up some of the neighborhood gossip. There was no talk of wedding dresses, no apologies, and no discussions about any subject that would bring her remotely close to the one thing that needed to be addressed.

  Aislynn had learned over the years that it wasn't worth trying to force these things with her mom, as it never amounted to anything but more anger and heartache for her. Now that Pam thought Aislynn was over it, she would surely stop harassing Ellie. Mission accomplished.

  Aislynn ran into Evan at the coffee shop once, but never saw or heard from Jace. She still wasn't sure how she felt about it. On the one hand, she didn't have any expectations from him. They'd had both explicitly agreed that th
e few times they had gotten together hadn't been dates. On the other hand, she felt really disappointed he hadn't made an attempt to contact her without influence from their friends.

  After Evan's dinner party, Aislynn had admitted to herself that she wasn't only attracted to Jace sexually, but was also very attracted to him as a person. He was intelligent, interesting, witty, and caring. The last time she'd allowed herself to feel like that toward anyone, it had ended up turning her whole world upside down. This is dangerous territory, her heart and mind kept telling her. It wasn't usual for both of those body parts to come at you with the same message, so Aislynn made a conscious decision to follow the advice.

  Later that week, she found herself at home, trying to self-edit some of her work, when Ellie walked in the door.

  "Welcome back! Ooh, you look good in red," Aislynn said. "Does Evan know about your ever changing hair color?"

  "He'll find out soon enough," Ellie said, giving her friend a hug and setting her bags down next to the table. "How was your week?"

  "Uneventful. I got a lot of writing done. My next meeting with my editor is coming up soon, and I'm obviously freaking out. You know I'm a professional worrier."

  "Yeah, they should really let you teach a college course on the subject," Ellie quipped. "I'm sure you'll do great with the editor."

  "You're looking at me funny. What is it?" she asked, noticing Ellie’s curious stare.

  "It's just that…I see a spark in your eyes every time you talk about your book, and I haven't seen that in a long time. It makes my heart happy."

  "I have to admit that it makes me happy, too."

  "Okay, moving on to the next important topic. I need you to please say yes," Ellie said excitedly, jumping up and down in her seat.

  "Say yes to what? And how much caffeine have you had today?"

  "None, actually. This is me ‘al naturale.’"

  "Scary."

  "I know. So…we're going out dancing tonight," Ellie said, huge smile on her lips.

  "No, no, no," Aislynn said with finality.

  "Yes, yes, yes. Evan has a meeting until late tonight, and it's our chance to have a girls’ night out before I fulfill the cliché of the girl that goes all crazy in love and abandons her best friend to spend all her time with her gorgeous new boyfriend," she said, all in one breath.

  "Ugh. Dancing? I don't know."

  "Come on! Why not?" Ellie challenged.

  "Because I haven't been nineteen years old for the last ten years." And I haven't been out dancing in almost as long.

  "Bullshit. You're not nineteen anymore, but you're not ninety either. Live a little, old woman."

  "That's your attempt at convincing me to go out? You really should work on your persuasion skills," Aislynn said sarcastically. "Wait, are you just doing this so you can play dress up with me?"

  "Absolutely. I brought some amazing stuff from Chicago and I'm taking away your veto privileges."

  "Didn't your mom buy you enough dolls when you were a kid?"

  "Stop analyzing me. We're going."

  Aislynn had to give it to Ellie—at least she managed to pick a club with an older crowd. Aislynn felt more at ease not having to rub elbows with eighteen-year-olds trying to use their fake IDs to get drunk for the first time. Thankfully, after a couple of martinis, Aislynn loosened up enough to get to the dance floor and "allow the fun in," as Ellie had called it.

  "The guys are meeting us here in a few minutes," Ellie announced unexpectedly after they returned to their table.

  "What? How did that happen? What about girl's night?" Aislynn shrieked.

  "Umm…It's more fun with cute guys in it?" Ellie asked, holding the martini glass to her lips.

  "Traitor!"

  "Evan got out of his meeting sooner than expected, and Jace just got back into town. They texted me earlier asking to meet us."

  Aislynn felt the blood rush up to her face and neck, a sudden fluttering in her stomach making her feel woozy. She thanked the heavens she was sitting down because her head felt light as a feather.

  "Aislynn, what is it?" Ellie asked, somewhat alarmed.

  "Are we twelve years old again?"

  "What?"

  "I feel like you just told me the boy I have a crush on wants to come over to talk to me. I'm so pathetic," Aislynn said, slamming her forehead against the table.

  "Oh fun! You have a crush!"

  "No, not fun. The phrase you're looking for is 'in trouble,'" Aislynn explained, but it only served to confuse her friend even more. "Ellie, we're in a club. And I'm kind of drunk. And Jace is probably going to come in here looking all sex-god with the mouth, and the body, and that perfect face…Do I really need to keep adding items to my explanation?"

  "Well, sweetie, I'm kind of drunk, too. So yes, I do need a few more things on that list."

  "Fine, let me proceed then. And I get horny when I'm drunk. And I haven't had sex in longer than I care to admit—"

  "Yay, this is even better than I thought!" Ellie said with an overexcited giggle. "I get to see horny Aislynn tonight. She hasn't been around in a long time. Now that I think about it, how can you stand it?" Aislynn rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I digress. Not to worry. I have everything under control. Now here, have another drink."

  Great. That's her solution— more alcohol.

  Aislynn watched as the guys walked into the club and approached their booth. Of course, Jace was looking stunning in all black, making her heart skip a few dozen beats.

  "I think red is my new favorite color," Evan said with a huge smile, and then leaned in to kiss Ellie. The kiss lingered for a while.

  "I hope she's okay with PDAs," Jace said, leaning in to give Aislynn a soft peck on her cheek.

  "I don't hear her complaining," Aislynn added, trying to control her breathing and hoping he hadn’t heard the involuntary gasp that escaped her when his lips touched her now scarlet skin.

  I wonder if it's actually possible to feel your neurons firing away, the electricity jumping from one nerve ending to another…

  "Aislynn, you look gorgeous," Evan said, grabbing her hand and kissing it. It didn't escape her notice how the reaction to his touch fell flat compared to the reaction she'd just had to Jace's.

  I'm in so much trouble.

  "Ellie, you're really doing justice to that outfit," Evan said, motioning to her short strapless champagne-colored dress, which was beautifully decorated with peacock feather print on the bodice.

  "I had a feeling I was gonna see you tonight after all," she responded.

  "Traitor!" Aislynn repeated, in mock disgust.

  "Let's dance, darling," Ellie said, seductively pulling Evan to the dance floor.

  Jace slid over closer to where Aislynn was sitting, his delicious scent making it even harder for her to control her body's reaction to his proximity. "So, dancing, huh?" he asked with a smirk.

  "I would like to go on the record and say that Ellie dragged me here kicking and screaming and under completely false pretenses," Aislynn said and chuckled as the waiter approached the table to take their drink orders. "Martini, please."

  "Scotch on the rocks," Jace added.

  "I never would have thought you were a scotch drinker. It's old school."

  "You're calling me old?" Jace said with fake contempt. "What about you, ordering a martini?"

  "Martinis may be old school but they are also James Bond cool."

  "All right, you got me on that," Jace conceded.

  "So, what’s up with you?"

  "I’ve been in Boston all week working on a contract for a new business investment. It was absolutely crazy and hectic. "

  "Another bar?"

  "No, it’s an internet security company."

  "Oh, wow. Mixing things up?"

  "I interned at my dad’s investment company throughout college and I tried to soak in as much as I could. He always said investments should be kept diverse in the beginning, to give you time until you can find your niche."

  "Like med s
chool—you try out all the specialties before you decide which one you want to pursue."

  "Exactly," he said and paused to take a sip of his scotch. "I thought a lot about calling you."

  Aislynn's stomach flipped flopped and her breathing faltered. "Why didn't you?"

  A playful smile spread across his lips, but his eyes remained focused on the glass in his hands. "I realize this makes me sound like a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush, but…I was really nervous."

  "Oh my God! I just said the same thing to Ellie. I swear I haven't acted this way since I had braces," Aislynn said and blushed.

  "What a pair we make," Jace said, reaching for her hand under the table and holding it in his. "So, how was your week?"

  Aislynn told him all about her writing, which he appeared to be very interested in hearing about. Betty the Muse, as she lovingly called her, had graced her with her presence the whole week, and Aislynn had been able to produce some great work.

  Evan and Ellie stopped by the table often, but Jace and Aislynn remained focused on each other, talking about anything and everything. They were able to jump right where they had left off after Evan's dinner party.

  "Come on guys, let's go dance," Ellie said, while pulling both of them off their seats.

  "All right, all right! Meet you guys there in a sec." Aislynn started making her way to the restroom, but Jace grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him.

  "I’m sorry I forgot to tell you before…You look stunning tonight."

  "Thank you," Aislynn said shyly, looking down at her white satin blouse and sparkly gold mini skirt. "It's all Ellie's doing."

  "Remind me to send her a thank you card, then."

  "That would make two thank you cards you owe her." Jace stared at her, clearly confused. "Never mind. Inside joke," Aislynn said while pointing at her head, and then walked off.

  Jace waited for Aislynn by the bar next to the dance floor and thought about what his next step would be. During his time in Boston, he had allowed himself to think of her often. Distance had somehow made it easier for him to sit down and think about Evan's "get your head out of your ass" pep talk. The last two women he had seriously dated had turned out to be cold-hearted bitches, but it had been a year since he had broken things off with Lia and maybe it was time for him to get back in the saddle.