After Glow

by Autumn Jones Lake

  Rock doesn’t seem as sure about the offer. But since it’s my pelvis that feels like it’s decided to rearrange itself, I answer. “Can’t ask for a better ride. Thank you.”

  “Liam!” Keegan bellows.

  The two of them talk for a few seconds, then hustle us out the side door.

  Wrath comes running after us. “Hope, are you all right?”

  “I’m so sorry.” My mouth turns down, and I want to cry. This is the exact situation I’d warned him I was worried about.

  “What are you sorry for?” He turns to Rock. “You need me to come with you?”

  “No,” I say. “Stay, please. I don’t want to ruin this for you.”

  “Stop.” He sweeps me into a big hug. “You’re gonna do great, Cinderella. You’re a little spitfire.”

  “Stay,” Rock says. “Come down after.”

  “Oooh! Ow!”

  My yelping chases Wrath back inside.

  We’re almost at Keegan’s vehicle when Z rides into the parking lot.

  “Rock! What’s wrong?” he calls out.

  “She’s in labor.”

  “Yes, please tell everyone,” I mutter.

  Rock has the nerve to answer by patting me on the ass.

  Z’s gaze darts between Keegan and Liam and Rock and me. “I’ll go with you.”

  “Oh goodie. Yes, the more the merrier.”

  Z grins at me. “Rock’s gonna be glued to your side. What if you need someone to fetch stuff for you?”

  “I am not responsible for whatever you see or hear.”

  He chuckles and holds the door open while Rock helps me into the back of Keegan’s truck.

  What a story to tell Grace one day. How I end up trapped in an emergency fire department vehicle with her father and three other men while I was in labor.

  Rock

  “I’m so embarrassed,” Hope whispers, squeezing her eyes shut.

  “Nothing to be embarrassed about,” Keegan assures her over his shoulder. “I’ve delivered enough babies to know it’s not like on TV.”

  “How are you still single, Keegan?” Hope asks.

  “He’s an obnoxious ass to ladies not in labor,” Liam answers.

  “I believe you, Liam.” Hope chuckles. “He was pretty cranky the first time we met.”

  “You were trying to be all lawyerly and stuff,” Keegan jokes back. “What was I supposed to do?”

  I appreciate the constant stream of chatter keeping Hope occupied. I’m certainly in no condition to do anything useful other than keep my arm around my wife and hold her hand.

  And feel guilty as fuck.

  I just had to have her at my friend’s party. Couldn’t keep my damn hands off her.

  She reaches back and pats my cheek. “At least it happened here instead of all the way at home,” she says as if she senses my guilt. “We weren’t supposed to check into the hotel for a couple more days.”

  I kiss the top of her head. “Yeah.”

  Her other hand’s wrapped around Z’s. A few minutes later he shoots me a look that clearly says, “Girl has a strong grip.”

  “Ohmygodohmygod.” Hope clenches her jaw and clamps down even tighter on my hand.

  Fear tightens my stomach, but I use the calmest voice possible to remind her, “Breathe, baby doll. Come on. Relax. Just like in class.”

  “It hurts.”

  “I know.” Christ. I can’t stand seeing her in pain. “Come on. I’m right here. Squeeze my hand as hard as you need to.”

  She grits her teeth. “I’d like to squeeze something else right about now,” she mutters.

  Keegan snort-laughs, but I’m too focused on Hope to comment. “Shh.” I lean over and kiss her forehead. “Trust your body. Try to relax,” I say against her ear.

  “I’m trying.” She moans. Beads of sweat roll down her forehead.

  “I know you are, baby doll.”

  “Keep talking to me,” she whispers.

  I try to remember all the meditation prompts we learned in class, and after a while, she does seem more relaxed.

  The truck comes to a stop and Liam’s quick to hop out and open my door.

  “I’ll go get someone,” Keegan says, running inside.

  I help Hope out of the truck.

  She stands with one hand on the truck and the other in mine, taking a few deep gulps of air. “Much better.”

  Trinity’s Jeep pulls up behind us, and she swings her door open. “Is she okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Hope pants and flashes a fast, pained smile. “Peachy. Ducky. Ow, fuck!”

  She’s so damn pale.

  “Rock,” she whispers, squeezing my hand. “I’m scared.”

  I’m fucking terrified, but I force some calm into my voice. “Nothing to fear. You know what you’re doing. You’re ready. Remember—”

  “Fear will make me tense. Tension will make it hurt more.” She sucks in a sharp breath. “Ow! How much worse can it hurt?”

  I’m so scared of the answer to that question. “Everything will be okay.” I keep one hand on her back, rubbing in quick circles. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”

  She turns, resting her head on my chest. “Standing up feels better. Don’t let them put me on my back.” In a lower voice she adds, “I’d like to do what I can not to rip my hoo-ha.”

  “Jesus Christ.” I burst out laughing, and she smacks her hand against my chest.

  “I’m serious.”

  I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her. “I know you are. The doctor has your plan.”

  She closes her eyes. “You better not leave me for a second.”

  “I won’t,” I promise.

  “I’m still scared,” she whispers.

  So am I. Where the fuck did Keegan go? I brush her hair back and stare into her eyes. “You are so brave. You’ve handled all of this so well, Hope.” Everything I need her to know before we go into this next phase in our lives comes pouring out. “I’ve been inspired by your courage since the day you told me you were giving me this gift. I know you can do this.”

  Her lips part and her eyes gloss over. “Rochlan, you’re what gives me strength.”

  I press my lips to her forehead and close my eyes, wishing time would stand still for a few more heartbeats.

  No such luck. Keegan returns with an orderly who ushers Hope into a wheelchair and whisks her inside.

  “Now the real fun begins.” Keegan slaps my back. “Good luck, Dad.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Hope

  “I can’t believe how much I love her already,” I whisper.

  Bringing Grace into the world was about as horrible as I’d feared.

  But when it was over. They settled this warm, beautiful, squishy bundle of joy on my chest and my heart was filled with so much love. Nothing else mattered.

  She has a full, beautiful head of fuzzy blondish-red hair and the sweetest big blue eyes.

  “She has your nose,” I whisper to Rock.

  He’s busy counting her toes, marveling at how tiny her little feet are while I nurse her.

  “Forgive me?” he says.

  “For?”

  “Knocking you up.”

  My cheeks heat up and I tip my head, resting it on his shoulder. “You can’t use anything I said while I was in labor against me.”

  He kisses the top of my head.

  Grace slows down. “I think she’s falling asleep.”

  “I’ll take her.” Rock shifts off the bed and stands next to me. I blink and stare up at his shirtless body.

  “I kind of want to lick you, so the nurses know you’re all mine.”

  He squints at me. “Didn’t think you’d be in the mood to lick anything so soon.”

  “That’s how hot you are.”

  He chuckles and holds out his hands for Grace. I pass her over slowly, and she fusses a little, only calming when Rock sits in the chair next to my bed and rests her against his bare chest. “She’s so light and soft,” he says witho
ut taking his eyes off her. “So tiny.” He looks up at me. “Thank you.”

  My heart squeezes. He’s said thank you to me every time he’s had Grace in his arms.

  Someone knocks but doesn’t wait for an answer. I quickly cover myself. Wrath and Trinity come in. “Is this an okay time?” Trinity asks.

  “Sure. I just fed her.”

  Wrath gives me a cocky smirk. “It’s really unfair that I waited all this time to finally see your tits again and now when I might catch another glimpse, there’s going to be a baby attached to them.”

  Trinity smacks his arm. “Sorry for him.”

  “Don’t make me kill you on my daughter’s birthday,” Rock growls without taking his eyes off Grace.

  “Technically her birthday was yesterday,” Wrath points out.

  “How do you feel, Hope?” Trinity asks.

  “Like someone ripped open my insides, yanked them out, and stuffed them back inside-out.”

  “Yikes.” She shifts and glances away. “Guess that amnesia thing hasn’t kicked in yet.”

  Rock’s not in a joking mood about the whole ordeal. I was pretty sure the entire experience would traumatize my nothing-fazes-me-I’ve-seen-it-all biker husband, but he stayed calm through every painful, gross, and beautiful moment.

  He reaches over and lovingly strokes his hand over my hair and down my shoulder. Honestly, except to go with the nurses to give Grace her first bath, he hasn’t taken his hands off me.

  “So, I guess it was as bad as you feared?” Trinity asks.

  I glance at Rock. “Some things happened that we will never, ever discuss.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Everything was fine. Some of us read all the books and were prepared.”

  “Is it too much trouble to put on a shirt, Rock? Or were you trying to impress the nurses?” Wrath asks.

  My scowl is no match for Rock’s.

  “The doctors encourage skin-to-skin bonding time,” I explain. “It’s good for her. You should’ve seen her. She screamed her little lungs out, but as soon as she heard Rock’s voice, she settled right down.” I glance over at him. “All the nighttime reading to her must have worked.”

  “Aw. She’s going to be such a daddy’s girl.” Trinity smiles at both of us.

  “She looks sleepy,” Rock whispers, rubbing the tip of his finger over Grace’s pink cheek.

  “I can’t wait to smoosh those little cheeks.” Trinity squeezes her hands together. “She’s so beautiful and so tiny.”

  “Thank God,” I mutter. “If she’d been any bigger, my hoo-ha ripping nightmares might’ve come true.”

  Rock groans.

  Wrath frowns as if he’s working out that sentence in his head.

  Trinity grins at me. “Told ya all that pelvic floor yoga would come in handy. You should apologize to Swan.”

  I flip her off, making her laugh even harder. “That seems inappropriate for a new mom.”

  Wrath shakes his head quick. “I didn’t follow all of that, but I don’t… just… for fuck’s sake. Here.” He thrusts a shiny pink gift bag in my hands. “I hope it fits. She’s tinier than I thought. Which apparently is a good thing,” he mutters under his breath.

  “You carried this in here?” I ask.

  “What?” He gestures to his generous size. “Who’s going to have the balls to question me for carrying a pink sparkly bag?”

  “Good point.”

  Trinity tugs at the ribbon holding the bag closed. “Open, open.”

  “Oh my goodness!” I pull out a little blue onesie with the Lost Kings MC skull and crown in silver on the front. “How did you…?”

  “Look at the back!” Trinity can barely contain her excitement.

  “Oh my God!” I burst out laughing.

  Product of

  Prez and First Lady

  Lost Kings MC

  is written out in the same curved-rocker style as my property patch.

  “This your idea?” Rock asks with laughter in his voice. “A new tradition?”

  “I have to give Z credit,” Wrath explains. “We came up with it together over a bottle of Jack.”

  “Sounds about right,” Rock mutters.

  “When she’s bigger, we’ll get her a little vest,” Wrath promises. “For family functions only, of course.” He winks, and I smack his leg.

  “Thank you. It’s adorable.” I motion him close so I can kiss his bristly cheek. Before he goes, I reach up and tug on his beard. “You need some sunlight, old man. Your blond’s getting darker.”

  “Don’t worry.” He smirks. “The carpet still matches.”

  Trinity and Rock both groan.

  “I’m so disturbed right now.” I laugh and then wince. “Oh. Ow. Don’t make me laugh.”

  Teller comes in next. Wrath slings his arm around Trinity’s shoulders and lifts his chin toward the door. “We’ll be out there if you need us.”

  “Charlotte’s coming by after work.” Teller shifts his gaze to Rock and Grace. “Can I hold her?”

  Grace lets out a wail and punches her little fists in the air. “Do you want to say hello to your big brother?” I coo, reaching over to tickle Grace’s cheek.

  Teller’s eyes widen, and then his face breaks into a grin. Rock slowly stands shoulder to shoulder with Teller and passes our daughter into his son’s arms.

  “Hi, baby Gracie,” Teller says so softly my breath catches. He carefully cradles her to his chest and stares down at her in wonder. “I’ve already been through this before. So I know all the little sister tricks.” He rocks her for a few minutes, and Grace seems perfectly content in his arms. “She’s really beautiful, Hope,” he rasps.

  “Thank you.”

  He hands her back to Rock. His mouth opens, but no words come out for a few seconds. “Congratulations… Rock.” Their new relationship is still unsure, but they’re both working on figuring things out. I’d like nothing more than for everything to be out in the open. But I understand and respect his concern for Heidi and have sworn not to say a word until he’s ready.

  The door pushes open, and Heidi pokes her head inside. “Hi, is it okay if we come in to see her?”

  I motion her closer, and she opens the door wider for Murphy and Alexa behind her.

  Teller shoots a look at me, and I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile. His secret is safe with me until he’s ready to share it.

  Alexa peers at sleeping Grace and points at her. “Mine!”

  “Whoa!” Murphy says, pulling her away. “Easy there, grabby hands.”

  She scrunches up her fists and stuffs them in her mouth as if she can’t contain her excitement.

  “Well, that’s a relief,” Heidi says. “I was worried she’d be jealous.”

  “Noooo,” Alexa cries as Rock sits back down with Grace.

  “We’re right here, Alexa,” Rock reassures her.

  “’Ope!” Alexa reaches for me, and Murphy brings her closer.

  “Aunt Hope needs to rest,” Murphy says. Alexa’s eyes widen, and she swivels her head my way.

  “I’m tired.” I yawn and pat my hand over my open mouth, making her giggle. She leans down and makes fishy lips at me until Murphy brings her close enough to kiss my cheek. “I’ll be home soon.” I twirl one of her pigtails around my finger, and she whips her hair back and forth to show off her spunky braids. “Did your daddy do your hair?”

  “What? I did a good job,” Murphy says.

  “You did.”

  After they head home, Rock snaps the light over my bed off and encourages me to curl up for a nap. It doesn’t take much to convince me. Knowing Rock’s there watching over us, I’m able to block out the noise and bustle of people in and out of the room and doze for a little while.

  Z’s the last one to come visit later in the evening. He slips into the room quietly.

  I can’t quite look him in the eyes yet. Yesterday wasn’t my best moment. I’m pretty sure a lot of crazy stuff came tumbling out of my mouth when it felt like my insides were b
eing sawed out with a serrated knife.

  He grins and wiggles his hands at me. “Nothing broken, Hope.”

  “I think I blacked out at one point, so I apologize for anything inappropriate I said or did.”

  He laughs and rubs my shoulder. “You were a champ.”

  The next day feels way too soon to go home, but the doctors assure me everything will be fine, and off we go.

  “I want to sleep for a month,” I say once we’re on the road.

  “You need to rest and recover.” He reaches over and sets his hand on my leg. “Everything’s all set up.”

  I sit back and close my eyes. “Thank you,” I whisper.

  “Anything for you.” His fingers graze my breasts. “All I need is for you to whip these out and feed her every couple hours. I’ll do the rest.”

  I open one eye and find him watching me with a loving smirk. I reach over and pat his cheek. “Aw, this is the new sweet talk, huh?”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  ROCK

  8 weeks later…

  * * *

  “Rochlan,” Hope says in a low voice, drawing my name out to a seductive siren call.

  I glance up.

  And stare.

  I set my book down on the nightstand. “What have you got on there, baby doll?”

  “Oh this?” She flicks the ties dangling from the bow between her breasts. “A little something I ordered.” She prances over on the tip of her toes to the bottom of the bed.

  “What are you doing?”

  She leans over, planting her fists on the mattress, giving me one fantastic view down the front of the barely held-together lace contraption she’s wearing.

  “Grace has been nursed and is sound asleep.”

  “Uh-huh,” I mumble like a jackass, still too entranced by her beauty.

  “Murphy and Heidi are spending the night at Teller’s.”

  “Oh really.” I plant my own hands on the bed and prowl toward her, meeting her halfway.