Best for the Baby

by Ann Evans

  Alaina’s lips were warm, welcoming. Sweet. A craving for more of her, for all of her, roared into his head, blocking out everything else.

  He deepened the kiss. He did not want to stop. He couldn’t.

  There was no other woman in the world he wanted to kiss more than Alaina Tillman. And this moment would be a fair price to pay for whatever came later.

  CHAPTER SIX

  ALAINA COULDN’T FIGHT IT. She didn’t even want to try.

  Zack’s arms were tight around her, a warm haven. It felt so good to be held, to be cherished. He always made her feel so safe. There was no one like Zack, and there never had been. How could she stop touching him?

  She felt him wanting her. Eager for more than kisses, eager to draw her to a place without restraints or regret.

  His fingers caressed her face, tilting her chin upward so he could find her eyes in the darkness. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” he asked, as though he had found a deep dream, a hidden hope.

  There had been a riot inside her, but suddenly, she was calm. She had been traveling to this exact moment all of her life. Unbelievably, she and Zack had never been lovers, but that was about to change. The sweet anticipation of it was enough to leave Alaina short of breath.

  He kissed her again, and her blood heated to a dangerous degree. He slipped her sweater from her shoulders, sliding it down her arms until she could shake it free. He helped her pull her blouse over her head. She yanked at the buttons of his shirt, clumsy in her haste to feel his bare flesh against hers.

  His hands rubbed along her back with slow, ardent strokes, and moments later her bra had been tossed into a chair. She pressed her breasts against his chest, enjoying the soft, tickling feel of her nipples against his hair, the way it left them erect and sensitive. Under her palm, his heartbeat was like a fist, pounding to be heard.

  Zack lowered her to the rug. Alaina wasted no time in wiggling out of her jeans. When he didn’t immediately lie down beside her, her eyes sought his. She didn’t want him to stop. She didn’t want the world to come back.

  She rose on one elbow and realized he was favoring one foot as he tried to slip out of his khakis. He cursed, then he was free.

  “What’s wrong with your foot?”

  “Later,” he said.

  “But—”

  She lost her train of thought as he came down on top of her, deftly stripping away her panties with one hand. He was so much broader than she remembered, and yet there had always been a tantalizing mix of strength and gentleness about him. A sliver of sound escaped her as he slipped his tongue into her mouth at the same time that his hand found the juncture of her legs. His fingers, hard and clever, went deep, and she pushed against that pleasure, hearing her breathing change, feeling her own trembling response. He stroked, soothed, finding her inner warmth until Alaina wanted nothing in the world but to go on like this forever.

  A sensual thrill went through her, lighting up every part of her. Zack sensed her response. She knew he did, because he growled low in his throat and shifted his body so that his erection lay hot and pulsing against her thighs. Then he slid inside her.

  He began to move, slowly at first, effortlessly, then with increasing haste as she followed him, raising her hips to meet every thrust. It was embarrassing how quickly her body became liquid, wanting nothing more than more. Tremors built within her, a wonderful, agonizing tension that wouldn’t turn her loose, and made her want to scream.

  Above her, Zack was clearly no better off. For just one second, the meeting of their eyes was as close as a kiss, then he was going over the edge, taking her with him. This feeling of being turned inside out and upside down was one they shared, as though they had melted together and re-formed into a single being.

  “Zack…” she gasped out.

  “I know.” He surged harder. “I know.”

  Just when she thought they could stand it no longer, Zack jerked against her. His release triggered hers. She cried out, shuddering beneath him as sensation after sensation swamped her uncontrollably. She had a momentary feeling of floating, of becoming unmoored from herself, but an instant later Zack’s arms were pulling her close, gathering her into his embrace as though he would never let her go.

  “Just give us right now,” he whispered against her ear.

  She knew she should get up, put some distance between them if she was ever to regain her senses. But it felt so wonderful here, nestled against his chest. How could she let this go? How could she let him go?

  What they had just experienced together was the fulfillment of a fate that had been chasing them since childhood.

  IF ONLY SUCH A STATE OF bliss could have continued indefinitely.

  By midnight, Alaina had slipped back into her clothes and retreated to the kitchen, while Zack still slept on the living-room rug. She made a couple of telephone calls, then stood over the sink, drinking the last of the orange juice from the fridge.

  Pearly shafts of moonlight streamed through the window. The view from the kitchen was lovely. The lake sparkled as the moon’s glow danced on the rippling water, as though spreading a carpet of diamonds.

  Alaina hardly noticed. She was too busy trying to figure out what had happened to her better judgment. Trying to piece together a plan. What could she do now? What should she do?

  It was just sex, Alaina. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

  She supposed there were some women who could sleep with a man and not think a thing about it an hour later. But in spite of her wild, unplanned flight with Jeffrey, she’d never been that kind of girl. What she and Zack had shared had been so special, and she knew she’d remember every gasping, heated, erotic detail forever. Even now, it made her stomach tighten to think of some of the things they’d done. But the problem was, none of it should have happened.

  All her fault, of course. Zack might have pulled her into his arms, but she hadn’t resisted for even a nanosecond. If anything, she’d welcomed his touch.

  How could she have been so foolish? By now, he must think she was certifiable.

  Being able to stay at the cottage these past two weeks had been a huge relief, but her personal situation hadn’t improved much. She still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell her family about the baby.

  As for Jeffrey, his two weeks to adjust had come and gone, and not a single word from him. None of his friends had seen him, and though she’d left Lake Harmony’s general post office address with them, nothing had shown up. Not even her wallet. She’d been so miserable last night, filled with despair.

  And instead of cheering her up, popping in those video tapes from happier times had only made her despondency worse. When she’d realized Zack was in the room, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to walk into his arms. And to stay there.

  But there were plenty of reasons why she mustn’t let it happen again. She had to find a way to stop this now without damaging her relationship with Zack. A relationship that was already shaky to begin with.

  Damn, damn, damn. Why hadn’t she gone into town when she’d originally planned? Better to have slept on a park bench than to end up in the arms of the one man she never, ever wanted to hurt.

  Would he understand? Suppose he didn’t…?

  “Al?”

  Alaina nearly dropped the glass of juice as she realized that Zack had entered the kitchen. She turned quickly, offering a small smile.

  Oh, God. How was it possible to look that attractive in the middle of the night? Bare-chested, those long legs once more encased in khakis. A dark lock of hair had fallen over his forehead, giving him a sweetly boyish look that made something flutter in her stomach all over again. Not good. Not good.

  She dragged her attention away, extending her nearly empty glass. “I’m afraid I cleaned out the fridge yesterday, and this was the last of it. There might be some coffee in the pantry if you’d like me to make a pot….”

  “No, thanks. I’m fine.” He yawned and scrubbed one hand over his bare
chest. He didn’t look as if he had a care in the world.

  She turned on the tap, fussing as she cleaned the glass. It was so much easier to concentrate on that than to think of spoiling everything between them.

  She felt Zack’s warmth as he came up behind her. His hands cupped her shoulders and he nudged aside her hair to nuzzle her neck. His touch sent shivers down her spine, and she tried not to notice.

  “You smell nice,” he said. “Like a wildflower meadow warmed by the sun.”

  That soft, rumbling voice near her ear threatened to melt her resolve. To keep from dissolving completely, she slipped out of his embrace and leaned against the counter. “Did you have dinner on the way up?” she asked, trying not to sound as nervous as she felt. “Are you hungry?”

  He grinned and lifted one brow. “Yes. But what I’m hungry for isn’t in the fridge. What I’d really like—”

  She licked her lips as she felt a hot blush rise up from the collar of her blouse. “Zack, about last night…”

  He frowned and held up one hand. “Stop. Surely you’re not going to turn what we did into a romantic cliché?”

  “No. Of course not. But I think we should talk about it.”

  “Okay. Here’s my take on what happened. I think it was long overdue. I think we both enjoyed it. And I don’t think we should overthink it.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It doesn’t have to be complicated, Alaina. We’re two healthy, perfectly normal adults who—”

  “That’s just the problem. We are adults. We shouldn’t have…” She moved farther away, putting the kitchen table between them. She should have known this wasn’t going to be easy, and Zack’s scowl made her fear that nothing she said would sound right.

  She sighed heavily and scraped a hand through her tousled hair. “This isn’t coming out the way I wanted it to. But I…I don’t want you to think that I blame you in any way for what happened. I don’t. I’m the one who should have stopped things before they got out of hand, but I didn’t.”

  “So why didn’t you?” he asked quietly.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know. Last night, before you showed up, I was feeling so alone and unhappy. I thought watching those old movies would make me feel better. They didn’t. They just made me realize how much I’ve missed having you in my life. And then suddenly, there you were…and it just…it just seemed so right.”

  “Damn it, it was right.” He stepped forward, planting his balled fists on top of the table so he could lean closer. “Don’t, Al. Don’t ruin this because you’re afraid. We can work something out.”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I’m trying to be sensible. I have to be. I’m pregnant with another man’s baby, a man who may or may not want to be involved in his child’s life. I have no job, no home—at least, not one I want to go back to—and very limited resources. The future is just one big question mark.”

  “Then let’s sit down and see if we can come up with some answers.”

  “You’ve always been willing to help me, and I’ve always relied on that, but not this time. I have to come up with the solutions. I don’t know how to fix things yet, but I do know that I can’t complicate both our lives right now by having an affair. No matter how lovely that might be, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

  He straightened as she watched her words strike home. “So we’re going to retreat back to discussions about the weather and the price of gas?”

  She hated that tone in his voice, the way he was already distancing himself from her. But this had to be done.

  “No. I don’t…I don’t think I can do that.”

  “Then what do you want from me, Al?”

  “I want our friendship back.” He shook his head. She wondered how she could manage not to hurt him any more. “What we shared, Zack…It was as wonderful as I’ve always dreamed it would be. But for both our sakes, it can’t happen again.”

  “So we’re just supposed to remain friends. Nothing more.”

  She nodded. “I’ve called a cab. It should be arriving any minute.”

  “To do what?”

  “I’m going into town. I was scheduled to check in to a hotel yesterday, but they accidentally gave my room away. That’s the only reason I was still here when you showed up. But I’ve made arrangements with another place that can get me in right off.”

  She had stuffed her things into her backpack. As she reached to take it from the table, Zack came around and caught her arm. He turned her quickly to face him, and she saw that his eyes had lightning in them. “Don’t do this, Alaina. Don’t run away from us.”

  “There is no ‘us’.” She whipped the word back at him in desperation. That jumping sensation was in her stomach once more.

  “Of course there is. There’s always been a connection. Don’t deny it.”

  “That was a long time ago, Zack. Things change. I’ve changed. It isn’t you and me anymore. It’s me and the baby. That’s the only ‘us’ there can be in my life.”

  He stared at her. They spent several long seconds studying each other in strained silence. The twist to his mouth was not pretty, and his features were full of reproach.

  Then, luckily, she heard the cab’s horn, letting her know it had come. Alaina grabbed up her backpack and hurried out the door without looking back.

  ZACK’S TEMPER LASTED all the way through the day, right into dinner and three beers at Merle’s Hideaway Bar on the lake.

  But by the time he finished his fourth Dos Equis, he’d come to the conclusion that anger was a wasted emotion that never brought a person one moment of satisfaction. Picking a fight with the jerk sitting on the bar stool next to him would probably get him tossed out. Snapping at the bartender wasn’t going to get him anything but poor service. Nothing was going to change the situation.

  Finally, by the time he paid his bar tab, he was left with just a bellyful of self-loathing. He’d made a fool of himself. Once again he’d allowed Alaina Tillman to get to him. Only this time, he’d let it go way too far. Wild, uninhibited sex on the living-room rug, for God’s sake. What had he been thinking?

  He had to laugh a little. He and Alaina had spent a fair amount of time doing a lot of things last night, but thinking wasn’t one of them.

  He had to agree with her about one thing. An affair between the two of them wouldn’t be good for either of them. He had a pretty full life back in Miami, and a new business to run that needed so much of his time. In this economic environment, he couldn’t afford to take his eye off the ball for a minute. Indulging in a relationship with a woman getting ready to be a single mom—even if that woman was Alaina—just didn’t make sense. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

  He supposed that she had done them both a favor. He’d wanted her for a lifetime, and there was no way, now that they’d crossed that line, that he could ever voluntarily go back to being just friends.

  But Alaina, ever practical and reasonable, had a valid point. Her focus had to be her baby. Maybe she was even hoping that Mr. Environmentalist would turn up one day, full of apologies and remorse. Would she throw herself at him, covering him in kisses and forgiveness? Although Zack hated the idea, it was possible she was in love with the guy.

  So how would she explain a lover?

  And how would Zack be able to let her walk into the man’s arms? He couldn’t stop her, but he didn’t want to watch her leave, either.

  By midnight he was stone-cold sober as he headed back to Heron Cove. His brain kicked in for one last protest where he damned her to hell, then settled into a stagnant peace with the realization that worse things could happen.

  He would survive.

  He had before.

  A light rain had fallen while he’d been in Merle’s Hideaway. He slipped around the puddles in the cottage driveway, feeling resolved, lighter. The air seemed clear and expectant. Full of possibilities.

  As he unlocked the front
door, an icy raindrop ran down the back of his neck and under his collar.

  Hell. Now what?

  He looked up, catching sight of a wide water mark spreading across the porch ceiling. A leak from the roof. Definitely bad news.

  But not surprising. He’d known for some time that the roof needed work.

  His weakened ankle might make it difficult, but he ought to tackle the problem before he left for Miami. There were so many things that needed to be taken care of, and he should spend a few days doing them. It might even keep his mind off how annoyed he was with Alaina.

  Of course, if he stayed, there was a good possibility he’d run into her. Well, maybe that would be a test of his resolve. Besides, why should he let her run him out of town before he was ready to go?

  For a few days he could manage the business long distance, since things were so slow. And Rod, his assistant, had been begging for more responsibility. Maybe it was time to see what he could really handle. Then Zack would return to Miami, where his life could get back on that neat, tidy track he could barely remember.

  TWO DAYS LATER Zack was on the back porch, replacing rotted railings, when he heard the crackle of fallen leaves as someone shuffled through them. Turning, he saw Sheriff Moran approaching.

  The older man didn’t look as if he’d aged a bit since Zack had first met him. The sheriff and Zack’s dad had been buddies for years. Moran was a widower with three daughters who had sometimes played with the other kids at Heron Cove while he went fishing with Zack’s father. The sheriff had even come down to Miami for his old friend’s funeral last spring.

  The sheriff stopped at the porch, placed one foot on the bottom step and grinned up at Zack. “Heard you were back in town, but I had to see it for myself.”

  Zack straightened. “Hey, Sheriff. How have you been?”

  “Can’t complain. How about you?”

  “Never better.”