I'll Be There

by Deborah Grace Staley

  Her plan to move to a sparsely populated town in Oregon to live alone on the side of a mountain was not only completely impractical, but potentially dangerous. Impractical because she needed good, accessible healthcare for herself and her baby as well as a good school system for her child. Dangerous because if she were found, she’d have no way to defend herself or her child if the people looking to kill her came in a large group. She might be able to hold off one or two men intent on doing her harm, but what if a large band came? It didn’t bear considering. She couldn’t put herself or her child in that kind of jeopardy.

  And then there was Cord. She’d be bringing him into her danger. She remembered asking him why he’d chosen to live alone, and him saying that he hadn’t wanted to put anyone else in danger. She knew she had to do the same. She couldn’t ask him to risk his life for her. He had said he’d been in the program for three years, long enough that his trail had gone cold; but not so with her, especially in Tennessee or anywhere else in the south for that matter.

  He’d saved her life, and she’d wanted to be able to save his in return. In this way, she could do that. She’d rather know that he was safe on his mountain than watch him be injured, or worse, to be with her. At least she’d have their child to hold, love, and watch grow as a lasting reminder of the only man she’d ever given her heart to.

  A tear escaped the corner of her eye, and she swiped it away. A man was sitting in the opposite corner of the café, staring out the window like her. He removed his ball cap, raked a hand through his dark hair, and then put it back on. Kylie brought her coffee and croissant, drawing her attention away from the other customer.

  “Do you need anything else?”

  Jenny smiled. “No. Thank you, Kylie.”

  “Sure. Just let me know if you need a refill.”

  She walked to the man Jenny had just been watching to refill his cup. Too intent on whatever he was focused on outside, he didn’t look up or acknowledge the waitress. Jenny sipped her coffee. There was something about the set of his shoulders under his dark leather jacket that held her attention. She leaned over to get a better look. He was tall; his size overwhelmed the small table and wrought iron chair. Though his dark hair wasn’t long, it wasn’t short either and looked to have the same silky texture as Cord’s.

  Looking away, she shook her napkin out and placed it in her lap. Everything reminded her of Cord. Why should today be any different? Bells tinkled as another customer entered. She looked up and the man turned as well. Their eyes locked. Her fork clattered against the table and onto the floor.

  Kylie rushed over. “Here.” She placed a clean fork on the table and picked up the one on the floor.

  “I’m so sorry,” Jenny mumbled.

  “No worries. Hey, are you okay? All the color has drained out of your face? Are you feeling sick?”

  Jenny cleared her throat, wishing the waitress would move out of the way so she could get a better look at the man. “No. I’m fine. Really,” she insisted. She took a sip of coffee to prove her point and nearly choked on it when it didn’t want to pass her constricted throat.

  Frowning, Kylie nodded and went to wait on the new customer, who was standing at the counter and also blocking her view of—it couldn’t be. Her eyes were playing tricks on her, that’s all. Jenny closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. Another sip of coffee, and she was feeling much less shaky.

  And then the customer took his coffee to go and exited, leaving her a clear view of the man who was now openly looking her way. She couldn’t see his brow or his eyes because of the cap, but the nose could be his. He had a beard, not as heavy as Cord’s had been, more like a few days’ growth. He was too far away for her to say for sure, but it didn’t look like he had scars. The jaw was similar. And his lips—she pressed her napkin to her mouth just in time to suppress a moan of pure pain.

  It’s not him. No scars. It’s not him, but the damage was done. A gaping hole had opened up where her heart used to be, and she wanted to fold into it.

  She looked again. The man was facing her now. She grasped the medallion Cord had given her as if it could provide some protection from this demon that plagued her, making her think she was looking at Cord when that could not be possible.

  He removed his cap, and his silky black hair fell on either side of his face to his chin. It was shorter. He’d cut it—no. It wasn’t him. His face—the scars—all so similar, but different.

  She stood and took a step in his direction, then sat back down. Impossible. No. It couldn’t be Cord. She looked away, considering. She should leave. Just put some money on the table, walk out the door and go back to her house. That’s what she should do, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t make herself move. Her legs simply would not work. So, she prepared to wait as long as it took. If it was Cord, he had seen her. Was still looking at her. If it was him, he would come over wouldn’t he? Of course he would. If he wasn’t sure it was her and left, then she’d know it either wasn’t him or she’d made the right choice after all. For his safety, they should not be together.

  He stood and walked slowly towards her. Dear God, it was him. He moved like Cord and his face was so similar, but the give away was how he looked at her—with the same mix of powerful emotions as when she’d left him in Miss Estelee’s parlor and walked out of his life to find her way alone in the world as a different person.

  “Is this seat taken?” he asked softly.

  She couldn’t stop staring and certainly couldn’t find her voice. So she motioned to the empty chair across from her, and he sat. He brushed his hair back again and put his cap on. Even though she wished he hadn’t, she understood he probably didn’t want anyone to recognize him. But why had he been sitting by the window? None of this made sense.

  “I can’t believe it’s you,” he said.

  “Were you looking for me?”

  He nodded. “Can’t believe I found you. It’s been two months since you didn’t show at that diner.”

  “You went?”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

  “I couldn’t be sure. You were so angry when we spoke.” She paused, “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Now that he was here, she was at once elated and sorry that she’d ever contacted him. “I shouldn’t have called you. Shouldn’t have asked you to come to me.” She pushed her food away and stared at the table instead of him.

  “Are you all right?”

  Jenny had expected his anger, but his concern threw her even more off-balance. “I’m well, if that’s what you mean. Mentally and emotionally is another thing. I have good days and bad days.”

  “I’m sorry.” He looked away, then back. “I expected you to look different, but seeing you, after all this time... it doesn’t matter. You look wonderful.”

  She lifted a hand to her now shorter, light brown hair. “You don’t like it.”

  “You’re beautiful—radiant. The climate here must agree with you.”

  “Thank you.” She looked at him, too. Really looked at him. “You look different, too. You cut your hair, you’ve lost weight, your scars have faded.”

  “I had some work done on them,” he admitted, touching his face the way she longed to.

  “Why?”

  “I wanted to look different when I came to you.”

  “I’m so sorry, Cord. It was a mistake, my asking you to leave WITSEC and relocate with me.” It would be so much harder to leave him this time, to walk away with his child growing inside her. Instinctively, she folded her arms across her stomach.

  “I’m here now,” he said simply, when nothing about their situations was simple.

  “You should forget you saw me. Go home, Cord.”

  “I am home.”

  His tone was soft, even. How could he be so calm? And how the hell could he sit there and say things that made her soul come to life? Look at her like he’d never take his eyes off her again?

  “Cord...”

  “Why weren’t you there? Did you send me to
Oregon to throw me off your trail?”

  “No. I had every intention of being there, but then I decided I couldn’t do it.”

  “But you didn’t let me know you’d changed your mind.”

  “I didn’t think I should risk calling you again, especially when I didn’t even know if you would come.”

  He laughed then. He actually laughed! “What exactly is it about this scenario that you find amusing?”

  “That you would think I wouldn’t come. Darlin’, I’ve been looking for you since you left Angel Ridge.”

  “What?”

  “I knew it was an impossible task, but then you called. You actually had the nerve to call! And you found an ingenious way to do it, as well. You’re amazing.”

  “Don’t think you can veer off the subject by throwing pretty compliments my way. You were angry that I called. If you’d been looking for me all along, why didn’t you tell me? You should have been glad I contacted you.”

  “I was glad. Your calling gave me something concrete to work with in finding your location. Even when you didn’t come, at least I knew you were within a day’s ride of that little town in southern Oregon. I got in a car and fanned out. I hit just about everywhere between Lakeview and here. I really hoped you weren’t in Seattle. There are so many places you could be here, but I was prepared to stay as long as it took to find you.”

  “What made you pass through Portland?”

  He shrugged. “A feeling.”

  “Now you sound like Miss Estelee.”

  He laughed. “I know.”

  “So, you’ve been out here since that day I asked you to meet me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What have you been doing? Showing people my picture?”

  “Of course not.”

  “What then?”

  “I’ve been harassing Jay Kennedy from the beginning, trying to get him to give up your location.”

  “I can imagine how that went.”

  “Right. I also wrote you letters, hoping I’d be able to get some hint from you.”

  “I didn’t receive any letters.”

  “He wouldn’t take them at first, and then he did, but he just mailed them right back to me. Said it was too dangerous for the two of us to communicate.”

  He reached in a pocket on the inside of his jacket and pulled out a stack of envelopes, tied with a piece of leather, and laid them on the table in front of her. Next, he reached in a pocket on the other side of his jacket and pulled out another stack, and then another from an outside pocket. There must have been fifty or more letters in front of her. In all the time they’d spent together before she’d been relocated, he hadn’t said near as many words as were contained in all these letters.

  She looked at all the letters, amazed, then back at him. “I don’t know what to say,” she breathed. Her throat closed around emotion bubbling up from deep inside her, and she knew the tears wouldn’t be far behind.

  “Then listen. I love you. I don’t want to live a life without you in it, so please—” his voice broke, so he swallowed and then continued, “please don’t ask me to do that. I’d rather die a thousand times than spend day after meaningless, endless day without you.”

  Jenny blinked to try to keep the tears from falling. Sensing her emotion at hearing his words, he reached across the small table and took her hands. “I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing in the beginning. It’s too dangerous for us to be together. I want to protect you from my situation and you want to protect me from yours, but we can move to Oregon or wherever you want. You won’t be alone. I’ll be there with you, to help you and protect you. Wherever we live, we can build a safe room in the house. If someone finds us, we can lock ourselves inside until help comes. I wouldn’t take any chances with you, ever, I swear. I’ll keep you safe. Just say you’ll let me.”

  Hope bloomed, delicate and tenuous. All she had to do was say “yes,” and she’d have what she’d dreamed of all these months while she’d felt hopeless and alone. Or she could say, “no.” Tell him she didn’t love him after all, and send him away. But oh, how she wanted to share a life with him, to raise their children together, and see their grandchildren someday.

  “What is it?” He tipped her chin up so she had to look into his eyes. “What’s holding you back?”

  “I convinced myself that I could have a life with you, then I realized it wasn’t safe and that I would live alone, like you. And I was willing to do that because I thought it would be enough for me to know you were safe.

  “But now you’re here, and hearing you say it can work, that you can make sure that we’re both safe...” she shook her head and looked down. “I’m afraid to hope again. It was so hard,” she looked back up, “imagining you there at that diner in Oregon while I was here, in my house, going crazy wanting to be there with you.” She squeezed his hands. “That nearly killed me,” she managed through clinched teeth. She would not cry because she knew if she began, she wouldn’t be able to stop, and there’d be time for that later.

  “Do you love me?”

  Was he insane? “Of course I love you! Why do you think this is so agonizingly difficult? We can’t leave the program, Cord. Neither of us can. It’s the only way we can stay safe.”

  “So you didn’t leave the program?”

  Jenny shook her head. “No. Did you?”

  “Not officially, but safe to say, I’m off the radar. Kennedy is going to be so pissed when I call and tell him what I’ve done.”

  “Why would you call him? Aren’t you suggesting that we leave the program?”

  “No. That was one point where I thought I’d have to convince you. What changed your mind about WITSEC?”

  She looked away. “The program isn’t perfect, but it’s the best way to stay safe.”

  “You don’t lie well.”

  She blinked, surprised.

  “You never believed in the program. Never truly believed they could keep you safe after all you suffered at their hands before you were relocated.”

  She focused on their linked hands. “Things have been fine since I got here.”

  “I’m glad to hear it, but still, I have to believe something else caused your change of heart.”

  This was it. If she told him, she’d be inviting him into her life. Whether she agreed to be with him or not, he’d want to be part of his child’s life. Either way, he deserved to know.

  “There is something I haven’t told you.”

  He released her hands and sat back as if he was bracing himself. “Is there someone else?”

  “What? No! How could you say such a thing? I told you I’d never get involved with anyone and ask them to risk their life for me.” She paused. “I just... had a weak moment with you.”

  “For the record, you’re not asking me. I’m volunteering, gladly,” he said with a huge smile lighting his handsome face. “So, what is this thing you haven’t told me?”

  She cleared her throat, but still couldn’t get the words out. “I never imagined saying this to you, so I’m not sure how.”

  “You can tell me anything. It won’t change how I feel, about you or the situation.”

  She laughed. “I think this might.”

  “Just say it.”

  Jenny took a deep breath and let it out. Still, she chewed on her lower lip. She didn’t even know if he wanted children.

  “Tell me,” he squeezed her hand, encouraging her.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Cord’s heart stopped, then thudded back into a rhythm triple what it had been before she spoke. His gaze slid from her beautiful face to her stomach, which he noticed she had covered protectively with her hand.

  “I’m just beginning to show,” she breathed, “but I haven’t felt it move yet.”

  He stared at her, speechless.

  “Say something.”

  No words came. He reached across the table. Placing his palm against her stomach, he eased it down, feeling the slight, firm outward curve
. She placed her hands against the back of his, pressing it close. So much emotion flowed through him at that moment that he felt not just his hand shake, but his whole body vibrating with love for this beautiful, brave woman he didn’t come close to deserving.

  “A baby,” he breathed. “Our baby.”

  She bit her lip and nodded, words failing her, too.

  “What a miracle, that a new life would come from all this. That we could be together... you, me and our baby.”

  “You make it sound so simple. Like we’re just two normal people starting a life together.”

  “It won’t be simple. Nothing worthwhile ever is.” He laughed. “Think of it. We could be a family.”

  “I haven’t agreed yet.”

  He stood and came around the table to stand next to her. “That’s my fault.” He got down on one knee and took her hand. “I haven’t properly proposed.”

  “Oh, no,” Jenny laughed. “You really don’t need to do that.”

  “Jenny Thompson—”

  “That’s not my name anymore. It’s Jen Reid now.”

  “Will you do me the honor—”

  “I always thought, if I ever decided to ‘be’ with someone, it would be something more along the lines of a civil union, because I’m just not the marrying—”

  “Of being my wife.”

  When he said the words “my wife,” something inside Jenny shifted. Physically shifted. A feeling of profound love and happiness washed over her that really was like something out of fairy tale.

  “Your wife.”

  “My wife.” He pulled a box from his jacket and opened it. Nestled against the velvet lining was a silver ring with a stone like the one in the center of the pendant he’d given her.

  She touched the stone. “The place where all the elements come together,” She looked up. “The joining of souls when two lives intersect and become one.”

  “You remember.”

  She caressed his face. “Of course I do.”