Hating Him Wanting Him : A Contemporary Romance Collection
Page 21
“You know, I wouldn’t have even known if Marvin didn’t pull back and tell me to look out the window,” Sam immediately began. “What the hell is going on? Are you insane? Mia, babe, what’s gotten into you — don’t you know that’s Bryant Howard, your arch-nemesis?”
Arch-nemesis, now that was a word I had used to describe him as a nerdy little angsty teen. To have Sam use that word and throw it back at me felt like she was trying to dig up our decades of friendship at this moment.
“Sam…”
“What? It’s not what I think? Please. It wasn’t a mistake. He kissed you, and you kissed back.”
“Did you see it?” I was sure she couldn’t have actually seen it, because if she did, at least I could tell her that it was… I don’t know, it just moved too fast, that this was out of my control, I was swept away.
But would anybody ever believe that excuse?
Things had gotten so good between us despite last weekend’s party. Bryant gave me his number, and I started texting him innocently, more curious to test and tease him over the weird dynamic of the date we had set up. Sam didn’t even mind.
Sam actually told me it would be good for me to let loose.
And we were starting to really get things together. Sam applied to move into my dorm room, since it was only a single-occupancy dorm because of my scholarship status, and I had really begun to enjoy the feeling of sisterhood that came from having her, effectively a bigger sister to me now in college since she had been here a year longer.
I didn’t want to jeopardize anything.
Normally I would be quick to drop Bryant, blame and curse him for everything he had done to ruin things — again.
But this time the fault was all on me. I would even believe it if Sam said I was leading him on, because in a way, I was.
My eyes watered, and Sam glared at me.
“That’s right, play the innocent good girl card on me, start the waterworks. But you’re the one being such a stupid little girl, you know? Bryant. Fuck, of course. Bryant Howard. I know how he rolls, Mia.”
“I know you do,” I nodded.
“He can get any woman in his bed. Including you. Even you.”
“That’s not what I want, Sam…” I tried to reason to her, reaching for her hands.
She just shook them away, bringing her hands behind her back. “No. Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re just so sad, you know that, Mia? I can’t believe you. This hurt. You were supposed to be on my side. This was our way of getting even, remember? To make Bryant understand what he was losing out on by doing what he did to me!”
“I know that, but… don’t you think that was a bit overdramatic? Trying to show off just how much you were enjoying having a fling with his best friend, flaunting it in front of his face? I know you’ve been going over to his place too, hoping to taunt him by dressing all sexy, staying just out of reach,” I pointed out. “That’s not right.”
“When the hell did you start to care what was or wasn’t right when it came to Bryant Howard? What, did he propose to you or something? Did he buy you off with his daddy’s billions?”
I flinched at how vicious Sam was sounding. “Hey. That’s not fair.”
“So, was that it?”
“I’m not interested in Bryant, okay?” I said, although part of me instantly felt like I was lying — if not to Sam, to myself. “This is just some petty revenge you wanted, so like, I just got stuck in this mess. I didn’t ask for this.”
“But you said that a best friend was supposed to support her best friend. That you would stick by me no matter what.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t call you out when you’re behaving like a psycho, Sam,” I said, frowning. I took a step back. “This is insane. Just come back with me to the table. Keep doing what you were doing with Marvin. I bet Bryant is feeling awkward as hell over the kiss. You can still win.”
Sam laughed in my face. “Fuck off, Mia. You’re so dumb, oh my God. Bryant doesn’t feel awkward. He feels like you’re his latest conquest. I’m going home.”
“Okay,” I murmured.
“And what I mean by that,” she said, her hands clasped tightly together, as if she was afraid she might hit me, “is that I think it would be better if you didn’t come back to the dorm room either.”
“Sam, come on. That’s my room too. I feel bad, but this is just ridiculous.”
“Whatever. I said what I said. I don’t want to see you. Find some other place. Bryant’s got a big bed. Go there instead.”
I watched Sam leave, shocked that she would be so cruel to me. She had to understand that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, right? There was no way she could think that.
I couldn’t believe my best friend would genuinely think that about me.
Time must have passed by as I slumped my shoulders and walked ever so slowly back out from the kitchen that continued to bustle around me.
Bryant was there waiting for me. Marvin was not.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
This was even weirder than the kiss. The quarterback sounded like he cared.
“Why does it even matter?” I said, unable to cut the depression out of my voice. I felt bad. I felt like a shitty friend, someone who had somehow, without even intending to, betrayed my closest friendship.
I wished I was back in Indianapolis. Life was simpler then, even if I felt unfulfilled and upset. I may have been envious of Sam’s fancy college life while I toiled away at community college and my part-time job, but at least I had something.
And Regina had been a great friend through that time. We were starting to drift apart when it became clear our paths were diverging since we shared little in common, but she never gave me a migraine the way Sam had been every single night since I had gotten to Florida.
“Mia?”
I snapped out of my thoughts and returned my gaze to Bryant. Looking up, I started to see what everyone saw in him: the chiseled good looks, the stylish, short hair, his imposing six foot one height, how built he was. He wasn’t just a dumb jock, he could be a gentleman when he tried, too.
I had spent all my life judging him, trying to paint him as this bully and villain. Yes, in many ways he was, especially to me, but how much of that was because I only let him play that role in my life?
I sighed. “Sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me, damn. You did nothing wrong.”
“That’s not true.”
The unspoken implication that our kiss ruined this evening made for an uncomfortable silence.
“Our food actually just arrived. Why don’t you come back to the table and we can, uh, eat in silence? I mean, you’re looking all beautiful tonight anyway. And I’m pretty fucking starved, honestly.”
I nodded, if only because I didn’t have the energy to disagree. This wasn’t the Mia I knew. How did a little bit of drama and a crazy kiss suddenly suck all the fight out of me?
At least that made me laugh, one cynical laugh that almost sounded like I was barking it out.
“You must feel really shitty,” Bryant said, pulling my chair back so I can get seated.
I stood my ground. “That sort of chivalry thing is so outdated, Bryant.”
“This is a classy establishment. At least let me behave in an appropriate manner now, since I didn’t before,” Bryant shrugged. I think there was even a half-hearted attempt to wink, but I knew he was a little disgusted by all the drama too.
I gave him a smile. “Okay. Fine.”
“Thank you, Mia.”
“I should be thanking you. Now I’m going to be eating an Italian feast for four people.”
“Hey, don’t forget, I’m eating too. And you’re like, tiny, Mia. I’m so much bigger than you, and I have a serious appetite. You probably don’t even know the number of calories I need to consume per day to bulk up for the football season.”
I bit my lip when I realized just how weird it was that I was actually tingling at the thought of how much bi
gger he was than me.
Okay, I can forgive myself for that, right?
It’s only physical.
I could justify it that way.
To Bryant’s credit, he stopped talking at that point. We just sat in silence, eating. There was a lot of food. I had ordered four types of pasta, two bowls of homemade gnocchi, a meat and cheese plate, three salads, a seafood platter, and even oysters.
I cringed when I reached for my first oyster. “I guess we’re splitting a dozen oysters between the two of us.”
“Do you like oysters?” he said, breaking his silence.
“They’re kinda slimy, but they’re cool, too,” I said. “I like it when they’re good.”
“That’s not that helpful,” Bryant laughed. “Anything’s good when it’s good.”
“I guess you’re right. But it’s, uh, a little sexual, you know?”
Bryant’s eyes glimmered with amusement. “Get your head out of the gutter, Cowell.”
But he also stuck his tongue out and suggestively sucked an oyster, demonstrating to me as I clenched my thighs together that he was probably very, very good at other things involving his lips and tongue.
“Okay, okay,” I exhaled, keeping my gaze down, focusing on the food.
There was an expensive bottle of white wine that neither one of us touched, too.
When we were finally done eating, I had to lean back against my seat. “I don’t think a food baby is the right word here. I think I have food triplets.”
“Fuck me, you did a really good job. I’ve never seen a girl handle her food like that. Most girls just poke a fork at a salad and then say they’re full.”
“I really hate the idea of food waste, Bryant.”
“Well, I guess, me too?”
I smiled, shaking my head. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to have your priorities. I’ll focus on the environment, while you focus on football. And paying for the bill.”
Bryant groaned. “You’re right. I have to do that.”
“Come on. Can’t be that hard, right?”
I knew I had to be a little more gentle on this, because he really did get upset when I implied he was just a rich daddy’s boy…
He shook his head. “I spoke with my dad and he, uh, really pissed me off. I don’t want to use his credit card. Yikes. This is a four hundred dollar meal. But I’ll be paying for it myself. I won’t let Dad have the satisfaction.”
“To be fair, a hundred dollars of that is from the wine. And if you’ll let me take it home, I’m okay with paying for it?” I offered.
For a second, it looked like Bryant was willing to take me up on the offer. “Nah.”
“Come on. Please? Pretty please?”
Oh my God. I was flirting with him!
He paid with cash and left a respectful tip. Shaking his hands as he helped me up from my seat, he also reached for the chilled bottle. “No. And you earned that bottle of wine, because you’re the one who’s going to have to drink it to get over all the craziness of tonight. Can I drive you home?”
“Sam says she doesn’t want to see me tonight. We’re roommates.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, nodding. “If you need a place to crash…”
“That would be a bad idea,” I quickly ended that thought.
“Okay, cool. Just saying that it’s an option.”
I walked ahead of him, letting him stay behind me. Turning slightly to look at him, I gave him a wan smile. “It’s good to know you can be sweet sometimes.”
“Well, the keyword here is ‘sometimes’ — other times I’m, what, a jerk? An asshole? What’s the one you like to use?”
I grinned as I went to the passenger side of his car. “Both of those will do for now.”
“Sure. Gotta stick with the classics.”
My arch-nemesis and I were trading grins. Of all the ways I imagined tonight would end, this was not going to be it.
“Maybe you’ll be lucky and Sam’s actually gone to Marvin’s to channel her frustrations some other way,” Bryant suggested.
“In that case, I definitely don’t want to crash at yours.”
“Good call.”
We were only a short drive away from the campus, and when we got to the dorm I was surprised that Bryant actually jumped out of his seat to walk over to my side, opening the door for me.
“Such a gentleman,” I teased him.
“Sometimes.”
“Okay, thanks. Uh… I want to say this was nice, in its own way? I appreciated that we did get to have the meal together. And that for that hour or so, at least there was no drama.”
“I’m also extra glad I didn’t have to keep seeing Marvin dry-hump Sam nonstop,” Bryant smiled, before wincing. “That was gross.”
“So gross.”
“They should get a room,” Bryant and I both said. We laughed right after.
Bryant placed a hand on my waist.
Uh oh…
“Look,” I quickly said, ready to end things cleanly here. “I appreciate how good you’re being tonight, but that kiss can’t happen again. I’m new here, and Sam’s my best friend. Like it or not, she’s important to me. I’m not ready to lose my best friend over… whatever it is we’re doing.”
“And especially because I’m me,” Bryant guessed.
I sighed. “Yeah. That’s part of it.”
“Yo, no hate. I understand completely,” Bryant offered. “Okay. Let’s talk again when things are less crazy, yeah?”
“Really, really appreciate that,” I said, sighing. I was feeling a little sad that I had to do it this way, but this was the right call.
“I’m going to kiss you goodbye now,” Bryant announced softly, leaning in.
This time I was ready. Even though I told him the kiss couldn’t happen again, this time I wanted it… and I was willing to forgive this one instance.
8
Bryant
It was a great thing that Marvin and I were such good friends, because after the drama at that Italian restaurant, I had to get my head focused on the things that really mattered.
And for me, it was always one thing. Football.
Coach Frost was ready to bite my head off if I got distracted by anything at all. He knew my priorities better than I did, it seemed.
I forgave Marvin and told him to just, you know, keep it cool.
“You’re a defensive lineman for a Division I school, Marv,” I told him. “It’s weird to me that you get so desperate about girls.”
“Shit, I’m not desperate,” he shook his head. “I’m just not into playing around, you know? I’m an all-in kinda guy. If I can get what I need, I don’t want to keep looking. Why waste that energy?”
I grinned. We were in his room back at the house, so instead of continuing to talk about our feelings — something we jocks would never resort to, apparently — we just kicked back and played some video games.
A week later and we were sitting back to back in the locker room as we prepared for a big game against Kentucky University.
This was a big one. Coach Frost had drilled us on plays, hoping to out-strategize a team that, on paper at least, had far more impressive prospects than us. We were somewhere in mid-table at this stage of the season, but Kentucky? They were second to Auburn, who all the commentators said were practically guaranteed a championship this year.
“Bad time to bring up last week’s events?” I asked Marvin as he was midway through his main quirk of a pre-game ritual: he’d strip naked, massaging himself with some deep tissue techniques he had learned from a couple of semesters doing physiotherapy courses.
We were alpha males charged with testosterone, so there was no weirdness about male nudity here. And if there was, Coach Frost would probably chew you out, tell you you had no place on his team, because the most important thing about this Florida team he was building for success was that every member of the team, whether they were a starter or a backup, had to surrender their trust to every other member.
So in that sense, Marvin understood that if I needed to let some feelings out by talking things through, bro-to-bro, he knew it was important.
The game could depend on it.
“I haven’t seen Sam since that night,” he said.
“I don’t care if you have or haven’t. Plus that’s nonsense, because I know you have. You weren’t home on Wednesday, she probably booty called you, right?”
Marvin gave me a sheepish grin. “Okay. I haven’t seen her since Wednesday night… I mean Thursday afternoon. We were huddled up for a while.”
“Uh, that’s great,” I said, turning around to pat my friend’s back to congratulate him on his newfound sexual success. His massage oil stuck to my palm. “Oh.”
“Uh, sorry about that. You want a towel?”
“No, it’s all good. Anyway, I just wanted to like, talk to you about that,” I said.
Both Marvin’s hands were busy rubbing under his arms, massaging his muscles. Dude was sculpted. He made me look like I was busy slacking off, honestly. I started to wonder about my percentage of body fat, because I knew Marvin’s was probably zero.
He reminded me of The Rock or someone, he got everything going on good.
“So talk,” Marvin said, surprising me.
“We’re bros. I don’t believe there’s some bullshit bro code that you have to stick to, that it’s forbidden for a guy to move in on a friend’s ex, because honestly that’s some lame possessive shit that I find really creepy. But it’s important for you to realize that we’ve got a deep bond, and if it’s going to be affected by a girl… we’re going to have to talk about it.”
Marvin started to look at me more carefully. “But you’re the one who wanted me to chase after her. You practically threw me at her, so you could sneak away from your relationship.”
He was right, but…
“Okay, sure. But that’s not what I mean. I don’t care if she’s in between us. I just don’t want you to like, be pulled into any games. If she’s just rebounding with you to get back at me, then I want you to stand your ground. Trust me as your bro that I would do the same for you — that sex, no matter how good or no matter how hot that person is, shouldn’t screw with our heads. Especially during the season.”