Hating Him Wanting Him : A Contemporary Romance Collection

by Summer Brooks

  Wrapping up my workout, I stretched and did a quick cool-down, pleased that I wasn’t feeling any lingering problems that could lead to any injuries this week. We had a game against Missouri this weekend, and I knew that was going to be a big one. They were a pretty strong team this season, they knew what they were doing.

  And I had never played away there before, so I had no idea what to expect from their field conditions.

  I had to take a quick shower, rinse the sweat from the workout, and then I wanted to go straight to find the professor for the History of Media Law class Mia was going to catch.

  I took my smoothie with me. I wasn’t done with that yet, either.

  Professor Saltzmann wasn’t hard to find, but I had made the mistake of assuming the professor was a man — no, she was Elaine Saltzmann, a sixty year old New Yorker who was surprised a jock like me was entering her office.

  “Have you even declared a major, Mr. Howard?” she asked, when I told her I wondered if she could help me transfer into her class.

  “Well, not really, but as you know, as a football player, we often deal with the media, and I’m really interested in how managing the media works… so I can have a broader understanding of the world of law in my own future career prospects,” I said, hoping it didn’t sound too much like bullshit.

  The prof just smiled to herself. “That sounds nice, but I don’t think you understand what it is I’m teaching. This is about defamation suits, things like that. Not exactly the kind relevant to what you meant.”

  “Well, that remains to be seen,” I said, shrugging. “I’m interested, and I have an empty slot every week at this time, so maybe you’d allow me to take this class.”

  “I have no problem with you taking this class, but it’s a lot of writing. It’s a foundational course for many people interested in journalism and public relations, not really… football.” Professor Saltzmann sighed, clicking a pen. “But like I said, I have no problem with you doing this.”

  “Thanks, prof. You’ve got the class at ten, so it’s fine if I just show up for that one, right?”

  She looked at me carefully, as if she was trying to figure out why I had decided to show up to her class. “You’re a pretty high profile figure in this school now. You know that there’s a lot of talk about you on social media, right? I’m a media professor, I have to keep up to date with these things.”

  “Nasty stuff,” I shrugged. “I try not to let it affect me.”

  “Now I want you to not let it affect the rest of the classroom. I don’t want you to be distracted. This would not be acceptable to me. So keep your head down, study hard, pay attention, and apply yourself. That’s my requirement if you want to transfer into my class.”

  I nodded. “I’m going to work hard. I promise.”

  “You’re on an athletic scholarship… I don’t usually see students like you showing any real interest in their studies, beyond the bare minimum they need so they can keep the scholarship. You’ve got something up your sleeve,” Professor Saltzmann said. “Whatever it is, I don’t want it affecting the class. Or any of the students.”

  “I can promise you that,” I nodded. I didn’t want to come off cocky or something, but it was pretty transparent that I could only be doing this because I wanted to be around Mia.

  It was encouraging that the prof didn’t connect the dots between Mia, who was already one of her students, and me. This meant that as much as there were all the rumors about Mia and me, people didn’t really recognize her that much yet.

  Me, I understood that I would be a much more prominent name. I wasn’t just the star quarterback, I was the popular guy with the rich dad. People were bound to paint a target on my back even without actually knowing me.

  With forty-five minutes to go before the class, I decided I would go drop by the gym, see whoever was there.

  Tyrone was listening to some music while pacing himself on the treadmill. He waved at me as I walked into the gym. I looked around for someone less busy. My other teammate Antonio was there.

  The running back nodded to greet me. “What’s up, man?”

  “Well, I just signed up for a class.”

  “Why the hell would you do that?” he said, confused as anybody would under those circumstances.

  “I… it’s nothing,” I said, stopping myself from confessing my real motives.

  People always got weird about me wanting to get in deeper with someone. When I first started dating Sam, it felt really nice to me, being able to connect with someone who had grown up in the same place as me. Florida attracted students from all over the country, and even international students from all over the world, but I didn’t really know many people from the Midwest, plus most of the guys on the football team were usually from the South.

  Was it so hard for people to believe that I didn’t just want to be a playboy, that jumping from hook-up to hook-up was something a guy did because it was easy, not because it was what he wanted?

  The guys on the team didn’t, at least. Tyrone kept a pretty low profile when it came to his dating life. We heard whispers of him dating a girl, but never really found out who. Russel had a long-distance girlfriend back home, but I heard they were breaking up.

  And then, of course, there was Marvin, my best friend who was clueless about women. In a way, we were both alike, going all in on the women we cared about… but despite being the most built and jacked guy on the team, the defensive lineman always surprised me with his weird romantic choices.

  I wondered if he was going to hate me if I interfered with him and Sam. Part of me thought he was just following through with that because it felt like a game to him, because it was amusing.

  I hated visualizing his smirk, that gross, condescending look he had on his face like at Ciccio, the Italian restaurant where we had that disastrous double date. He was just making out with Sam like it was a soft-core porn movie, and I was there going, bro, what the hell?

  Okay, I had to go to class now.

  Mia was in for a surprise when she saw me. Sure enough, as I walked in, Mia didn’t notice me at first, still deep in her books… but then she glanced up and was taken aback.

  The seat next to her was taken, but I sat on her other side, with an Asian kid sitting next to me. “Hey, I’m Bryant,” I introduced myself to him.

  “Reggie,” he quickly said.

  I turned to Mia, leaning across the aisle. “Hey, you.”

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, looking more irritated than I was expecting.

  “I just wanted to take a good class. The professor encouraged me to give it a go,” I said.

  Professor Saltzmann walked in right on cue. She looked around the class and saw me, giving me a curt nod.

  I guessed she was checking to see if I would actually show up, and well, surprise, surprise, I did.

  I even shut up, paying attention the whole time… or at least as much as I could, noticing the way people were already taking notice of my appearance in the class — not to mention the fact that I was there next to Mia.

  But thankfully, all that was a minor annoyance. The whispering died down.

  After class, I walked out with Mia.

  “I hope you’re not mad at me,” I said.

  “No, I’m not,” she replied. “Anyway, I hope you’re not going to just stalk me in all my classes. I did a lot of hard thinking, and I decided I need to find a part-time job. This semester I’m going to do my best to juggle it with work, but next semester I’m probably going to have to switch to a part-time schedule.”

  “Ouch,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “That’s going to hurt you. For real, part-time work and studying? You’re going to be stretched real thin. Are you sure you really want to do that?”

  Mia frowned. “I’ve done it before. That was my life for my year in community college before this. It wasn’t so bad.”

  “Yeah, but your coursework load is going to be way more intense than community college, I’m sure,” I point
ed out. “Are you sure you don’t want…”

  I had to trail my words off. She was already shaking her head.

  “I don’t want your money, Bryant.”

  Sighing, I tried to tell her I didn’t mean I was just going to hand her free cash. “You could consider it a loan. Interest-free. And what is it you need to work for, anyway? Your room’s free. And everything you need at home is sorted. I’ll make sure of that.”

  “That’s exactly what I don’t want,” Mia said softly. “I’m going to pay you at least some money for rent. I don’t want a free ride. Like, I really hate the idea. Just… let me do this, okay?”

  She paused and then changed direction, walking away from him.

  “Hey, I’m sorry,” I backed off, calling out at her.

  She turned around but didn’t say anything, just nodding once before resuming her walk away from me.

  I was confused. Why did she have to make everything about money? Some people really got defensive about it, but I had never seen someone be so intense about this the way Mia did.

  And more importantly, why did I feel so personally responsible for her finances? That was intense, too. I was shocked by the person I became now that I was around her.

  Maybe I needed to look at myself in the mirror, first.

  15

  Mia

  With things finally settling down for me, I could actually start to think about my own life, instead of all the drama that I had been embroiled in.

  Bryant surprised me by joining in that media law class, but to me that was a way for him to get close to me, testing the waters.

  I could now see that he was a protective guy, someone who really cared about making things work. If this was a relationship, neither one of us had used those words, but I could understand why that was the case.

  It wasn’t easy. Not for Bryant, not with his sort of high profile. And definitely not for his reputation.

  Thankfully, this week was my opportunity to really focus on my studies.

  Most of the people I shared classes with were also people looking into working in journalism, either majoring in journalism or similar majors. I made a couple of friends, but nobody that close.

  My suspicion was that they all knew who I was, and for some reason, the proximity to all that drama made them a little worried about being friends with me.

  But on the other hand, most of them were kind, if not necessarily the most warm and friendly. Things could be worse, they could be a lot more cliquey.

  The only source of stress going on for me was my inability to figure out how to make money. I wanted to find a job, but everything I could see either involved connections that I didn’t have, like trying to get in touch with a top newspaper editor to start submitting stories there, or working so many hours I wouldn’t be able to juggle class with it too.

  That was a last resort. Maybe next semester, if things didn’t work out as planned. My scholarship gave me a safety net, but I still needed to figure out life expenses — and a way to make myself feel a little more independent, considering I was living with Bryant.

  To his credit, he left me alone whenever he knew I was busy and studying. With the football season ongoing, he was busy as ever, but every so often we made time to catch up in the kitchen, cleaning up after the food I cooked.

  Sometimes I even cooked for him, telling him not to get his hopes up, since I was a terrible cook.

  “Hey, at least there’s this to think about. You didn’t burn your house down because you were a bad cook,” Bryant grinned.

  “That’s an awful thing to say!”

  “Okay, sorry,” he quickly backtracked. He reached over for my hand and pulled it forward, kissing it. “You know I don’t mean it.”

  I was getting so comfortable with him that I was able to just relax and enjoy life now, and even him bringing up probably the most traumatic moment of my life was something I didn’t have that many problems over.

  I didn’t want to be wrong, but I felt like there was something strong here. All we had to do was get over our various hang-ups and try to make something work.

  But that didn’t mean I didn’t stress about money all the same. I started hanging around campus, looking for part-time opportunities. As a good writer, I offered to proofread and edit people’s assignments, but I didn’t really get any response to the ads I posted all around.

  Sam and I weren’t talking anymore, either, except when we really had to. In the Samantha-sized hole in my life, I tried to reach out to Regina, but maintaining a friendship with her was difficult with all the distance at play.

  But at least she was nice, and she listened to me. We didn’t hold phone calls the way Sam and I would, but when we texted, I felt like I had somebody.

  Ironically, this did mean I filled the rest of my need for a social life by hanging out with Marvin, Tyrone and Russel, Bryant’s closest teammates.

  Most of them were real alpha guys who could only talk about girls, cars, video games, and football, but they made an effort to make me feel welcome — which was more than what I had experienced from others in Florida.

  I started to realize they had a rule among themselves to never talk about Fiona and her YouTube show around me and Bryant, because once I walked in on Marvin showing Russel the latest episode, then hastily hiding his phone and acting like they were watching something else.

  “What was that?” I asked innocently, already knowing what it was.

  “Uh…” Russel hesitated.

  Marvin came up with an idea. “Just some porn. Sorry. Boys being boys, you know?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “That’s a pretty ridiculous lie, Marvin, and you know it. So you were watching the new episode of Fiona’s show. Well, is there anything about me?”

  Marvin frowned. “Nah, so at least that’s good.”

  “Does this mean I’m less of a target now? Like, people aren’t actively spreading rumors about me?”

  Russel stretched his arms above his head. “Yo, it’s tough to say. People are still talking, and I’m pretty sure they’re going to start talking more come the weekend, because of our big game against Missouri. But I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. Just stay cool and you’ll be fine.”

  “Stay cool,” I murmured, shaking my head. “I don’t know, this was not how I was expecting my life to turn out. Being the subject of campus-wide rumors.”

  “On the plus side, nobody knows you’ve moved in with us,” Marvin said. “I was worried that would be some serious gossip fuel.”

  “That’s good,” I nodded, going to the fridge, pouring myself a cup of juice. “I don’t really want people to think they can just boss me around here, make me look like some kind of drama queen. I’m not. I’m just here to study.”

  “Yeah, we know,” Russel nodded. “You’re a pretty sweet girl, Mia. I can see why Bryant has the hots for you.”

  Even after moving in, even after seeing the way he behaved around me, hearing other people tell me Bryant was attracted to me made me blush. It felt unreal. He could have any girl in the school, probably any girl in the state.

  For some reason, he wants me.

  And to still want me even though I had held out on hooking up with him since I moved in was a pretty impressive feat, too.

  I didn’t know if he was upset about this, or feeling frustrated… but if he did, honestly, I figured that was too bad. A guy like him needed a girl like me sometimes. He needed to know everything couldn’t just be on his terms.

  I liked that about myself, the fact that I stood up for myself.

  It was also why I needed to keep looking for a job, some kind of way to earn some money. I knew Bryant would protest when I gave it to him, but I wanted to make sure that I was here as a renting tenant, someone who paid to be here.

  After all, what would happen if we broke up and I suddenly didn’t have a place to go? I didn’t want that. I needed the protection of knowing I was safe. Sometimes a guy like Bryant was good at giving that, but m
ost times you could never trust anyone for that better than your own self.

  The reality was that I could take care of myself too, and I was determined to make that happen.

  To his credit, Bryant didn’t push back when I told him I was going to start giving him rent the next month.

  He came back late, having to deal with interviews from the campus paper about the plan for the upcoming game. As the starting quarterback, he was the face of the team.

  There were even rumors that if he could keep his performance up, other schools might want to poach him, in anticipation of a promising NFL draft spot down the line.

  I was pouring myself another juice when he arrived at the house, dumping his backpack on the floor. “Hey, you.”

  Bryant lit up as soon as he saw me. “How’s it going, Mia?”

  “You look exhausted,” I pointed out. “I’m doing fine. I’m just studying, but I’m starting to get a little bored right now. So it’s either I watch something on TV or just read.”

  Bryant’s eyes glimmered with interest. “I have an idea…”

  “Down, boy,” I giggled. “No. That wasn’t what I was thinking about.”

  He pouted. “Damn. I wasn’t expecting you to somehow stay so strong here. How do you do it?”

  I smiled at him. “Sometimes you have to focus on your priorities.”

  He stood up straighter, hand reaching for his bulge. “I know my priorities.”

  “Seriously,” I giggled again. “Take it easy, Bryant. You’re such a horny mess sometimes.”

  “It’s just all this athletic energy, you know?”

  I laughed with him, feeling a little turned on by the attention he was giving me. Even if he was a transparently horny guy when he was in one of these moods, I really liked that he wasn’t the kind of guy to play games.

  I knew exactly what I was getting when I saw him. This didn’t mean he was dumb or anything, just that I could figure him out without having to second-guess everything I did.