Holiday Baby

by Jenna Mindel

  Simon chuckled. “You look like I feel. I have no idea about these things.”

  Cat laughed too. “I’m still figuring it out.”

  He touched her arm, bringing them to a stop.

  Cat looked into his warm brown eyes. “What?”

  “I’m sorry you were alone.”

  Cat’s belly flipped at the softness of his voice. To keep her thoughts away from what might have been, she tried to focus on the Thanksgiving-themed items shelved in the middle of the wide aisle, but the bagged stuffing and rows of bottled sage spices didn’t stave off the swell of emotions that assaulted her. Regret that he hadn’t been there.

  Her voice came out thick when she answered, “I wasn’t alone. My mom was with me when Opal was born.”

  He ran his hand through his hair, shorter now and much neater. “I should have been there. I would have been there had I known.”

  “Would you really? You didn’t even mention that you’d met me to Zach.”

  His face reddened. “We both had chances we let pass by.”

  A safe answer that was no answer at all. What might have happened had she called him when she’d found out she was pregnant? She heard Opal gurgle and peeked into the stroller.

  Opal cooed again.

  A passerby stopped and smiled. “Awww. She’s adorable. Your first?”

  Cat nodded.

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” she and Simon answered in unison.

  She looked at him.

  He looked back, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Come on, we’d better get what you came here for.”

  And get out quick.

  They moved deeper into the store and Cat glanced at Simon. The entire way, his face looked blank and hard, as if it had been carved out of stone. Maybe he was trying not to think about what might have been, as well. Although, she didn’t quite believe that he wasn’t sorry about this. He wasn’t any more comfortable with the idea of being a parent than she.

  We don’t have much of a choice, now do we?

  Those words echoed through her thoughts as they shopped, checked out and loaded the purchases into the trunk of her Honda. Cat showed Simon how Opal’s car seat worked, slipping it out of the stroller and back into the base. With the baby safely tucked into the back seat of the car, she showed him how to fold up the stroller.

  He looked thoughtful and then took a picture of the car seat with his phone. He’d checked while they were inside, but they didn’t carry the same model at this store. “Next time I’m in Traverse City, perhaps I’ll purchase one of those.”

  “What for? You’re leaving.”

  His brow furrowed. “Yes, but I’ll be back.”

  “What’s that mean?” Was he planning to just pop in and out of Opal’s life? And hers?

  “I haven’t figured it out yet.”

  Remembering the rough-and-tumble way Simon drove to the opal mines, the thought of him driving with Opal wasn’t welcome. She glanced at the baby. She snoozed peacefully, having fallen asleep while they were checking out.

  “What kind of car do you have?” She hadn’t seen it in his driveway. But then, it could have been in the garage.

  Simon grinned. “A very stable Jeep Cherokee.”

  Cat nodded. “Next time, you drive.”

  “So you can see how I do?”

  “Yes. Is that so bad? How do I know you won’t forget to drive on the right side of the road?”

  He laughed. “No, Cat. It’s not bad. Actually, it’s cute. Now, how about lunch?”

  It was noon and Cat was hungry, but sitting across from Simon with so little to say and everything that should be said hanging between them wasn’t exactly a prospect she relished. That comment about him coming back had given her a sense of optimism, but Cat knew better than to hope for impossible things. Coming back didn’t mean staying. “Where do you want to go?”

  He pointed at the three chain restaurants lined up across the street. “How about one of those?”

  “Sure.” Cat picked the middle restaurant. At least they had decent salads.

  It had been so easy interviewing Simon, seeing the mines and the chunks of rock with bits of translucent opal showing through. That had been exciting. Even being chased through the rain had been scary but strangely exhilarating. Shopping for baby items and then catching lunch at a franchise was awkward; the easiness they’d once shared was gone.

  Once again, her life had been irrevocably changed because she’d let down her guard. Although she loved Opal with a ferociousness she’d never expected, regret still lingered and fear of the future only grew. She had a dark past that never left her alone, making the thought of raising a baby more than a little daunting.

  When they were settled into a booth with Opal next to her, still sleeping in her car seat, Cat quickly scanned the menu and set it down.

  “You know what you want?” Simon slowly perused his.

  She wanted to be back in New York with its vast selection of places to eat. She wanted to hop a plane to exotic places with her camera and then write about them. She wanted the only responsibility in her life to be handing in a piece on time.

  Cat sighed. Those days were gone. “A salad.”

  Simon looked at her closely. “You look good, Cat. I hope you don’t think you need to lose weight or anything.”

  He had no idea. Her jeans still didn’t fit. “It’s what I want.”

  He cocked one eyebrow at her. “Very well.”

  “Speaking of eating, are you coming for Thanksgiving or not? I’d like to let my mother know.”

  He set down his menu, glanced at Opal, before zeroing back in on her. “What time?”

  “Noon, if you’d like to watch the football game. We usually eat between two and three, during halftime.”

  “Very well. I’ll be there for the game.” He looked like he’d bit into a sour lemon.

  She smiled because the waitress had arrived to take their orders. She had to give Simon credit for agreeing to face her entire family. Hopefully, it’d go well. For all of them.

  Chapter Three

  Thanksgiving Day, after driving ten miles north of town, Simon stared at the Zelinsky home. It was well kept and big. Cat had grown up in a nice place on an inland lake, with a large yard and plenty of trees to climb. She’d had everything a kid could ask for.

  He hadn’t talked to Cat for nearly two days. She hadn’t stopped by the shop, but then the past couple of days had been cold and rainy. Not good days to take a little baby out.

  He’d called last night to see if there was anything he should bring today, but Cat had told him not a thing. After hanging up, he’d prayed for direction, but Simon still felt adrift. With his troubled family background, how would he be able to relate to the Zelinsky clan? Even he and Cat barely knew each other. What mattered most was Opal’s welfare and that was why he was here. He wanted to see the rest of the family his daughter had been born into. The people who would have a role in raising her.

  Simon made his way along the slate stonework walkway up to the front porch. Taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell and waited.

  He heard voices and laughter and then the door was opened by an older woman with classic features and blondish hair, which was pulled back tight. “You must be Simon.”

  “I am. Thank you for inviting me.” He offered her his hand and smiled at the warmth shining from the woman’s eyes.

  She accepted the handshake. “I’m Helen, Cat’s mom, and she’s right, that’s one great accent you have. Come in, please.” She stepped back to give him room to enter. She was about the same middling height as Cat.

  He should have told her that she looked more like a sister, but he couldn’t get past the fact that Cat liked his accent. Having spent his late teens and most of his adult life living in Lond
on, he’d picked up a bit of how they spoke.

  What else did Cat find agreeable?

  “We’ve got the game on in the family room. Are you a fan of football?”

  “I enjoy watching it, yes.” Simon grew up watching the Giants, having been born and raised in New York City.

  He followed Cat’s mom from the large entrance area into a warm kitchen filled with tempting food aromas and family members huddled around a spread of snacks. The itchy feeling of being the odd man out hit quick and sure. Add that he was Opal’s father, and it made him the proverbial white elephant in the room.

  Where was Cat?

  “Cat’s feeding Opal. She’ll be down in a moment,” her mother answered as if reading his thoughts. “Simon, this is my husband, Andy.”

  Simon stood straighter, but Cat’s father still towered over him. He extended his hand. “Good to meet you, sir.”

  Cat’s father looked through him and Simon was certain the man found him lacking in every way possible as he accepted his hand. “Thank you for coming.”

  “Your invitation was very kind.” Simon saw where Zach got his bearing. He glanced around the room again, wishing Cat would hurry.

  Her mother was now busy in the kitchen with Zach’s wife and a tall blond man he’d met at church—also one of Cat’s brothers.

  “We look forward to knowing you better,” Andy said.

  Simon merely nodded. Too many layers in that statement to uncover each one now. He felt a strong urge to apologize, but the words evaded him. There wasn’t much that could be said to expunge what had happened between him and Cat.

  Fortunately, Cat’s sister Monica scuffled toward him before he made a fool of himself trying to explain the unexplainable to Cat’s father.

  “Hey, have you considered my website offer?” She too was quite tall. Cat came from a family of giants. “I can do an online catalog that’ll knock your socks off.”

  “I’m closing up shop.”

  Monica’s mouth dropped. “You are? Why? I thought you were doing well.”

  “Yes, well—”

  Cat’s father placed his hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Grab a plate and come watch the game. We’ll talk later.”

  Simon didn’t mistake the hard look in Andy’s eyes. Cat’s father reduced him to an awkward teen in a matter of moments. He’d known from the start that coming here wasn’t going to be easy, but he hadn’t expected the tension to be quite this strong.

  “Hello, Simon.” Cat breezed into the room, grabbed a carrot from one of the trays and popped it into her mouth.

  “Where’s Opal?”

  She pointed to the ceiling, still crunching. “Sleeping.”

  “What if she wakes up? How will you know?”

  “Baby monitor.” Cat pulled out what looked like a white walkie-talkie from the pocket of her long top.

  She wore gray leggings with woolen socks. Her hair was up, but some of it fell around her face. He loved her hair like that. He wished they were alone. So many things remained unsettled between them. Unsettled in him.

  “Have you met everyone?”

  “Just your parents, when I arrived.”

  “Grab a pop. That’s my brother Cam in the kitchen with my mom. They pretty much run the show with food prep and the rest of us clean up.”

  Cam turned and gave him a nod. His hands were deep in a bowl of something.

  Simon remembered that he’d seen Cam at the diner in town, as well as in church. Simon picked up a can of soda from an ice-filled tub and followed Cat down a few steps, where everyone was gathered to watch the game. A couple soft couches and chairs were filled, along with a rocking chair near the fireplace. A couple of Cat’s brothers lounged against large pillows on the floor, leaving only one two-seater couch open.

  “Everyone, this is Simon Roberts.”

  He nodded as Cat introduced everyone in the room. He’d likely not remember their names, but there was a strong family resemblance. Cat was one of ten kids, with four older brothers and three younger, as well as two younger sisters.

  Simon sat next to her on the two-seater, with nothing to say.

  Fortunately, he didn’t need to say anything, as Cat kept talking. “My brother Matthew is still on the lakes. He’s an officer on a Great Lakes freighter, but his wife and her two-year-old will join us for dessert later. Greg there is Rose’s son. She married Cam around this time last year.”

  The teenager gave him a nod. His mother, a warm smile.

  Simon had seen them both at the diner, as well. “You’ve a large family.”

  “I do.” Cat leaned back.

  Simon also sat back but didn’t relax. The warmth of the fire and conversation surrounded him as he was peppered with well-intentioned questions that he answered the best he could. These people were nice and well-adjusted, a far cry from the world he grew up in. It should have felt comfortable and welcoming—he could tell that was the atmosphere the whole family was trying to create. But instead, it just made him feel out of place.

  The desire to bolt overwhelmed him, but the future of one tiny baby kept him seated. Opal slept without a peep from the baby monitor and Cat looked tired. He noticed her eyelids drooping as soon as the football game started.

  The desire to make things better for her twisted deep inside, but there wasn’t much he could do. With his arm draped along the back of the loveseat, he whispered, “You can lean into me.”

  “No, no. I’m fine.” Cat’s eyes met his.

  Could she really lean on him, through all of this? He’d given her no reason to, announcing he was closing up shop and skipping town. Sure, he’d offered financial support but how could he give Cat something to truly lean on?

  Looking around, he was tempted to foist his responsibility for Opal on these people. Cat had everything she’d need right here.

  He’d never had a normal family life. What made him think he’d do any better for Opal than these people? He couldn’t, so was there any point in trying?

  But what of his daughter? Uncles couldn’t take the place of a father and he was her father.

  * * *

  Cat tried to clear the fog from her brain. She rested against someone warm. Inhaling the subtle, spicy scent, she opened her eyes and blinked.

  “You weren’t out long.” Simon’s voice was soft and deep and it rumbled through her. That voice of his was her undoing with its buttery half accent and slight lilt of words.

  “Sorry.” She sat up fast and rubbed her cheek, still warm from where she’d leaned into his shoulder. The shirt he wore was soft flannel, yet the man managed to look fashionable even in that.

  She heard her sister’s voice through the monitor. If Opal wasn’t awake, she would be soon. “I should check on the baby.”

  He nodded.

  She escaped, but not before she connected with her father’s concerned gaze. Remembering their argument the last time she was home, she could easily imagine his thoughts. He was thinking she should settle down with Simon because of Opal, but Cat wasn’t making any sudden moves. Not when she knew next to nothing about Simon, and he knew so little about her. Even if she wanted a relationship, would Simon be on board for that? He’d said he’d come back, but would he stick around?

  She hurried for the stairs.

  “Cat, why didn’t you tell me it was Simon!” Monica hissed as she came down the steps with Opal in her arms. “I have to admit he’s pretty hot for an older guy.”

  Cat knew her sister was teasing by the way she smirked. It didn’t matter that Simon was older than Cat by more than a few years— Wait, she didn’t even know his age.

  She reached for the baby. “Does she need to be changed?”

  “I did it. Don’t try to change the subject. I think Mom’s a little surprised by his age too, and I think Dad’s going to give your man a talking-to.”

 
Cat felt her stomach drop yet again. Please, not today. “He’s not my man.”

  “Give it time.” Monica grinned and carried Opal the rest of the way down the stairs with no moves toward giving her up.

  Cat didn’t have time where Simon was concerned. He’d severed his lease on his jewelry store effective the first of the year. Would Opal change his mind? Could Cat? Did she even want to? The idea of his sticking around just because he felt obligated was horrible. She didn’t want him to feel like he was stuck with them—trapped into being part of a family he didn’t want and wouldn’t have chosen.

  When Cat returned to the family room, her mother announced that dinner was ready. Her father had hit the pause button on the TV so they wouldn’t miss the rest of the game. He stood and stretched. “Let’s gather in the dining room.”

  “Where’s Opal?” Simon asked.

  “Monica has her.” Cat caught the quick flash of disappointment in his eyes, causing her stomach to twist.

  He was forming an attachment to Opal. But was that good or bad? Even though she didn’t want him feeling trapped, she also didn’t want Simon going back to his old globe-trotting routine. Was there any kind of middle ground? A way he could be part of their lives on a regular basis, without giving up the life that he’d chosen for himself?

  Standing in the dining room, Cat watched as her family gathered around the huge table set with Grandma Zelinsky’s fine china and crystal goblets. Covered dishes were strategically placed down the middle, but the luscious aroma of turkey gravy and sage stuffing escaped, making her mouth water. It had been a long time since she’d been home for Thanksgiving. She waited for everyone to slip into their usual seats and a lump caught in her throat. This was home, loud and loving and terribly bittersweet.

  “Here, you two sit at this end so we can tuck Opal in her bouncer out of the way of traffic.” As usual, her mom had everything under control, even seating.

  Monica handed Cat the baby.

  Simon reached to take the elevated bouncy seat from her mom and positioned it between their chairs. He looked it over while she buckled Opal in. “She won’t tip?”

  “It’s solid.” Cat looked away so Simon wouldn’t catch her irritation with him questioning her choice. She’d read countless reviews on the item before purchasing it, making sure it was sound and safe for Opal.