Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4

by Blake, Lillianna

  I opened my mouth to speak. I knew that if I told him the truth he’d understand. But I was too embarrassed to admit that I’d expected a proposal, not a necklace.

  “See, you can’t even tell me.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand why you can’t just be straight with me about this.”

  I started to feel very defensive. The way he was speaking to me made me feel as if I was a child.

  “Well, I’m not the only one keeping secrets, am I?”

  “What?” Max’s eyes widened. He stood up from the computer chair. “What is that supposed to mean? You think I’m keeping secrets from you?”

  I’d already said it. There was no taking it back now. I realized that I had fanned the flames of a silly little spat and made it into a full-on fight. But now Max wouldn’t rest until I told him what I meant.

  “I’m talking about Stephanie.”

  “Stephanie?” Max shook his head, then stared at me. “What does she have to do with this?”

  “At the garden, you two were getting pretty cozy and even whispering to each other.” Even as I spoke each word I could hear how ridiculous it sounded.

  Max’s expression shifted from gritted teeth and narrowed eyes to a grimace. He looked away from me for a minute and then wiped his hand across his face.

  “I can’t believe that you would even say that to me, Sammy. Do you really believe I would do anything to hurt you, to make you doubt my love for you?” He looked back at me, and the hurt in his eyes made my heart ache. Knowing I had put it there made it even worse.

  “I’m sorry, Max. I know you wouldn’t do anything like that.”

  “Obviously you don’t, if you would question me about it. You know what? Forget about lunch today. I think we both need to cool off a little while.”

  “Max, wait—”

  “It’s okay. I just think maybe we’re not in the best of moods. Let’s just call it a day.” He turned and walked past me toward the door.

  I thought of a million things I should have said, but I couldn’t get my voice to work. All I could see was his back as he opened the door and walked out.

  When the door closed behind him, it felt as if it struck me right across the face. Had I really just picked a fight with Max?

  Chapter 9

  As soon as I was alone the impact of what happened knocked me right down onto the couch. It seemed to me that someone else had taken control of my mouth. The more I thought about it, the more I had no doubt that the connection between Max and Stephanie had been my imagination. I had been the one to invite them to spend the day together. I had been the one to expect a proposal and hire a photographer. It was my own guilt that had made me pounce on Max. I felt horrible.

  I grabbed my phone and pulled up his number, only to remember that he told me he had forgotten his phone at home. When the voicemail came on I couldn’t stop myself.

  “Max, I’m so sorry. I never should have accused you of anything. I don’t know what I was thinking. I can explain the photograph. Please just give me a chance.”

  I hung up the phone and began pacing back and forth through the living room. After I’d finally gotten everything I’d ever hoped for, in just a few minutes I might have lost all of it—all because I was jealous for no reason.

  My phone began ringing. I answered it quickly—maybe Max had made it home and heard my voicemail.

  “Hello? Max?”

  “Sorry, no, It’s Stephanie.”

  As soon as I heard her voice, I began to crumble. Not only had I suspected Max, but I’d suspected Stephanie as well.

  “Oh, Stephanie, I did something really stupid.”

  “What happened? Are you okay?”

  “I’m not. I’m not at all. I think Max and I just broke up.”

  “Wait a minute. What happened exactly?”

  “Oh, I’ve made a big mess.” I tried to catch my breath.

  “Okay. That’s it. I’m coming over and I’m bringing wine.”

  I couldn’t even argue with her. I needed someone to talk to, and even though I knew she would be upset if I told her what Max and I had argued about, I still needed her.

  Within a half hour Stephanie knocked on the door. I opened it to find her holding a bottle of wine and a basket of muffins.

  “I wasn’t sure what to bring.” She frowned.

  “This is perfect. Please come in.” I stepped away from the door. “I can’t believe that you’re even here. After what you went through without me.”

  “Samantha, you have to stop thinking about that. I know that if I’d picked up the phone and called you, you would have been there for me in a second. I didn’t call, because there was nothing to be done. This is different.”

  “Is it?” I wiped at my eyes. “Do you think that something can be done?”

  “Was it really that bad?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t think straight long enough to figure it out.”

  “Okay, so walk me through this, because I find it hard to believe that you and Max broke up. Yesterday things seemed great.”

  “Well, we had a fight.”

  “A fight?” Stephanie smiled. “That’s not breaking up, sweetie. Is this your first one?”

  “I guess.” I frowned. “I did something terrible. I accused him of being untrustworthy.” I poured us each a glass of wine.

  Stephanie took her glass and shook her head. “Oh my god, you can’t be serious.”

  “I know! Max is the most trustworthy—”

  “He has literally dated half of the available women in the city.”

  “Wait, what?” My breath caught in my throat.

  “Listen, I’m just saying that you have every reason to doubt him. He’s a ladies’ man and that’s a hard reputation to shake.”

  “But I don’t.” I groaned and flopped down on the couch.

  Stephanie sat down beside me.

  I looked over at her, my eyes filling with tears. “I don’t doubt him at all. I trust Max. That isn’t the problem.”

  “Then I don’t understand.” Stephanie frowned. “You said that you fought with him because you suspected him of something.”

  “Yes, but I only suspected him of it because of me.”

  Stephanie took a big swallow of her wine. “I think that you’re going to have to explain this to me.”

  “Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I need to talk it out anyway. The truth is, when Max took me to dinner the other night, I thought he was going to propose.”

  “Oh.” Stephanie nodded. “That makes sense.”

  “I thought it did. We were back at the same restaurant where we shared our first kiss as a couple. It was our one-year anniversary. I had every reason to think it, right? I mean, I’m not crazy?”

  “Not crazy at all. That sounds like the perfect setup for a proposal. Maybe he got too nervous to ask?”

  “Not at all! He had a little black box for me, but inside was this!” I held out the heart charm. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “Yes, it’s gorgeous.”

  “Right? But it’s not an engagement ring. I thought it was going to be an engagement ring. So even though it’s a gorgeous necklace—and thoughtful and everything—I was a little disappointed.”

  “Honey, of course you were.”

  “But then I started to think about why it wasn’t an engagement ring. It’s not as if Max and I need to get to know each other. So what was he waiting for? Then of course I began to ask myself, why would Max even want to be with me? I started going a little crazy. I even thought he was trying to—” I winced and looked over at her. “Get back together with you.”

  “Oh, Samantha!” Stephanie set her glass down hard on the coffee table. “That’s not happening!”

  “I know that now, but I just got crazy about it. Then Max walked out the door.”

  “What did he say exactly?”

  “He said that we both needed to calm down and that we should call it a day.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a break-u
p to me.” Stephanie shook her head. “Did I ever tell you I once tried to pick a fight with Max?”

  “What?” I looked at her nervously. I didn’t really want to hear about the time that they were together.

  “Well, here’s the thing. I’m a very physical person. From the way Max acted, I thought he would be too.”

  “Physical?”

  “Sexual.”

  “Oh, no, no, nope—don’t want to hear about that.” I plucked my wine glass from the table and refilled it as I stood up.

  “Wait, it’s not what you think.”

  “Stephanie, I adore you, but I don’t see how reliving your intimate moments with Max is going to help me feel better.”

  “Trust me, just hear me out. It’ll be worth it.”

  Chapter 10

  I nearly choked on my swallow of wine. My mind spun with the buzz of alcohol and hot jealousy. I didn’t want to know anything about Stephanie and Max’s bedroom habits. Before I could protest she continued.

  “I kept coming on to him—and Max—he would flirt a bit, be a little playful—”

  “Oh, seriously, Stephanie—” I clasped my hand over my mouth to keep my wine down.

  “But he never let it get very far. I was getting really irritated. Other men I’d been with would get all hot and bothered when we argued, like somehow the fight would get their engines revved.”

  “Still not enjoying this.” I cringed.

  “Anyway, I decided to poke the bear. I tried to get him into an argument. I really turned up the nag factor. I demanded his attention, pushing his buttons until I expected that he’d explode. Just when I thought I had him at his boiling point, he just looked at me, and this—oh my god—this is what he said…” She paused and took a deep breath. She raised her shoulders up and deepened her voice. “Stephanie, I respect you and I want you to respect me. So I’m just going to leave. We both need to calm down. Then we can talk about this.”

  “Wow.” I blinked, as that was not what I was expecting. “Did he really leave?”

  “Yes. He walked out, cool as a cucumber. Then the next day he showed up, sat me down, and told me flat out that what he offered was all he could offer. He wanted to take things slow.”

  I stared at her for a long moment. “Wait, are you saying that you and he never—”

  “Not even close.” Stephanie laughed. “To be honest, I got tired of waiting.”

  “But Max is so sensual.” I shook my head.

  “Maybe he is with you, Samantha—maybe he is when he’s with the person that he’s meant to be with. Maybe that was the problem. It’s not like he just fell in love with you, you know.”

  I sat back at her words. It was the first time I really wondered how long Max had known that he was in love with me. I had been pining for him for years, but had he been in love with me too?

  “I can’t believe it. I never would have thought he was holding back.”

  “It wasn’t just with me either. I know a few of the girls he dated after me, and they all had the same complaint. One even tried to sneak him a Viagra.” Stephanie broke down giggling.

  I had to join in. I wasn’t just laughing at one woman’s desperation, but with joy for the fact that Max had felt for me the same way I’d felt for him for so long. But now that I had pushed him past the edge, now that I had questioned his loyalty, would he still feel the same way?

  “Stephanie, have I ruined everything?”

  “I doubt it. Just talk to him. Okay?” She took the wine glass from my hand. “After you sober up.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I looked into her eyes.

  She took my hand in hers and looked directly back into my eyes.

  “Samantha, you are one of the most loving and accepting people I know, but you are going to have to take a risk and trust someone eventually. Trust me, I know that Max is dying to hear from you. He is probably wracking his brain right now trying to figure out where the conversation went wrong. This should not be a surprise to you, but Max loves you as much and as deeply as you love him.” Stephanie shook her head. “Don’t let insecurity rob you of the best time in your life.”

  I stood up. “You’re right! I’m going to go talk to him right now.” A wave of dizziness washed over me, a reminder of how much wine I’d guzzled. “Maybe after a nap.”

  “Definitely after a nap.” Stephanie laughed. “I’ll leave you to it. Just promise me—no calls, no texting, until your mind is clear.”

  “Okay, I promise.”

  After Stephanie left I headed straight to bed. The room spun no matter how still I was. I knew it wasn’t just from the wine. It was from my spiraling emotions. One second I felt secure—of course Max loved me—the next, I felt as if I was being foolish to think that he did. By the time I fell asleep, I felt as if an entire war had been fought within my mind.

  When I woke up the next morning, I had a headache. I sat up and reached for the stash of aspirin I kept in my bedside drawer. I took a couple, then closed my eyes. I felt as if I had the weight of the world upon me. I owed Max a big apology, but I wasn’t sure he would even want to see me.

  I was about to curl up for another hour of sleep when I heard a knock at the door. I’d fallen asleep in the clothes I had tossed on the day before. At least I wasn’t in my pajamas. I hoped that maybe if I ignored the knock, whoever it was would go away.

  I heard another heavy knock.

  “Sammy, please let me in.”

  Chapter 11

  As soon as I recognized Max’s voice I bolted out of bed. I rushed to the door and opened it wide for him.

  “Max, I didn’t know it was you. I’m so sorry.”

  “You’re not answering any of my calls or texts.” He frowned. “Are you still mad about yesterday?”

  “You called?” I noticed my phone beside a half-empty glass of wine on the counter. I picked it up. “Oh, Stephanie must have turned it off.”

  As I was powering the phone back on, Max stepped inside.

  “Stephanie?”

  “She came over last night.”

  “Oh, Sammy, please tell me you didn’t—”

  “No, Max, no. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. It wasn’t right for me to accuse you.”

  Max smiled with relief. “I really thought you were still mad.”

  “Aren’t you?” I met his eyes.

  “No. I’m not mad at all. I’m just glad that we got all of this straightened out. Now we can put it behind us.”

  “I’m glad too. And I’m going to make it up to you.” I kissed him.

  Max pulled away from the kiss after a moment.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m really sorry and I’m going to make it up to you.”

  “I don’t want you to make anything up to me. There’s nothing to make up. I love you. We had a little spat. It’s no big deal, right? It was a misunderstanding.”

  “But it shouldn’t have been. Don’t you see? I can’t believe I let you think that I didn’t trust you. How can you just forgive me for that?”

  “Easily. I know you, Sammy. I know trust doesn’t come easily for you. That’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “It would drive me crazy if I thought you didn’t trust me.”

  “Okay, but I’m not you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Max laughed. “Exactly that. You think everything has some secret meaning. I don’t. If you say you trust me, I believe you.”

  I couldn’t even begin to comprehend being able to be that casual about the idea of trust.

  “Don’t you think we should work on strengthening that trust between us, though? I mean, for our future?”

  “Sammy, what’s going on with you? Just a couple days ago we were fine. You didn’t have any of these questions.”

  “I just think if we value our relationship we should be concerned about it.”

  “So now I don’t value it?” He shook his head. “Sammy,
where is this coming from?”

  I could tell that he was starting to get frustrated. I knew what I wanted to say to him, but getting the words right, so that he could understand me, was proving to be very difficult.

  “Never mind.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

  “Wait, don’t be sorry.” He kissed my forehead. “I just want you to relax. We love each other, isn’t that all that really matters?”

  I swallowed back the reasons on the tip of my tongue for why that was not all there was to it. The truth was, Max wasn’t the problem. I was the problem. Max, with his easy smile and the love in his eyes, was happy in our relationship. I was the one that needed to work on how I felt.

  “Yes.” I kissed him. “I love you, Max.”

  “So, then you’ll join me for breakfast?”

  “Actually, I have a little bit of a headache.”

  “I can see why.” He nodded toward the wine glass.

  My heart sped up. Oh, no. Did Max think I drank too much? Did he think I might be an alcoholic? All at once I could see how wild my mind was going. Why was I so anxious about every little thing?

  “Right.” I laughed. “I guess Stephanie and I were just making up for lost time.”

  “Well, she’s had it rough. With her ex and all.”

  “She told you about that?”

  “Sure. A little. It’s a shame that she had to go through that.”

  I nodded. I was a little surprised that Stephanie had confided in Max. When had they even had time to talk in depth? Just that quickly, suspicions started creeping back into my mind. I tried to brush away the thoughts.

  “She really thought she was in love.” I looked into his eyes.

  “Sammy, I love you. You know that, don’t you?” He brushed his fingertips along my cheek. “I’m always going to love you.”

  I wanted his words to erase every doubt in my mind. They should have. I had no reason to question him. But I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. Instead I leaned up and kissed him with passion. Max wrapped his arms around me and held me firmly in his grasp. He continued the kiss as if he hoped it wouldn’t end. I lost myself in the heady pleasure that washed over me. When we finally had to come up for air, Max’s cheeks were flushed.

  “I guess you do.” He laughed a little. “I’ll see you later, okay?”