Surrounded By Knight

by A. N. Hennessy

  When I got inside the condo, I found that it was empty. Addie and the rest of the guys must have gone out somewhere. I momentarily wondered if Addie was having fun playing doctor to Jace’s broken foot. If only I didn’t have a care in this cruel world like her I might be living it up the way she managed to.

  Continuing through the condo and walking up the scary stairs, I came to a halt in front of the closed bedroom door that I had slept in for the past several weeks. His bedroom. The one that reminded me of him and all his artistic ink.

  After what felt like an eternity, I turned the knob very vigilantly and slowly, cautiously opening the door. I looked inside to see Trevelin seated on the edge of the bed, staring down at the floor. He had removed his black hat and shirt and was sitting in nothing but his jeans. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and his masculine scent filtered the air.

  I watched him, longing to run my hands through his beautifully mussed hair, down his back and around to his side where I could trace the outline of his snake tattoo. A place I had only touched a few times and desperately longed to touch again.

  We'd had sex.

  Amazing sex.

  Fantastic sex that I couldn’t regret and wouldn't take back for the life of me. They were memories spent with him, the beautiful bad boy I’d grown to love. They were priceless and would burgeon in my soul for eternity. I remember every enticingly sweet thing he’d ever said to me and all of our conversations over the phone while we were apart that involved tons of, I miss you so bad’s or without you here I feel like a piece of me is missing, and all of the cock-a-doodle-doo wake up calls, and my favorite – dream about me before I went to bed. It was like he tried to make it as if we were still in each other’s presence even though we were miles apart.

  Shit, maybe there has been more there than what I’d realized. Then again I could be putting too much into my wishful thinking. I swallowed the large knot in my throat. Had I overlooked the obvious, or was I only seeing what I wanted to be true? I mean, he talked about me at every interview I’d heard, I’d even seen video footage of him at one of his concerts where he was wearing a shirt that said Dreaming of Country. I had smiled like an idiot for days. And now I felt like one.

  When did my life become so complicated?

  Still, after his wounding words at the bar, I was leaning more towards it being my wishful thinking kicking in to play.

  "You okay?" I finally asked, cautiously working my way through the door, closer to him. Wanting to put an end to the distance that had set between us. "Do you need some water or maybe some Tylenol? You know, so you won't get a bad hangover?"

  I shouldn’t care if he woke up with massive pain-brain. Not after his cruelness, but I cared too much about him not to offer any help. I would curl up in his lap and let him pet me if I knew it would make him feel better.

  Glacial hazy eyes that were bloodshot looked up, meeting my own with a flat look on his face. A look that didn’t give me any inkling as to what he was thinking. Regardless, I so badly wanted to go to him, to hold him and tell him that whatever it was, it would all be okay. That I would help make it better, and that I was desperately and hopelessly in love with him. That I would never abandon him.

  Alternately, I stood there and watched him, wishing I was brave enough to put my thoughts into action.

  He startled me when he husked bitterly, "I welcome the worst of hangovers at this damn point." The look he gave was stone cold. "Can't you see I'm miserable? That I’m in pain? I have nobody. I've been alone practically my whole life, and that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm not worthy of you, your attention, of your fuckin’ selfless kindness, or your bitch ass friendship." He said the last word scornfully, frowning as though the word left an aftertaste in his mouth. “After everything I’ve said, and you march in here offering to relieve my pain with medicine. I got news for you. No pill can fix this fucking pain!”

  It suddenly became hard for me to breath, and I knew it was because he just caused my lungs to deflate. He managed to wound me even more.

  "I don't need you hounding me, Izzy, okay? I was just fucking fine until you popped into my life. But now...dammit, now..." He shook his head vigorously. Running both hands forcefully through his funky hair, he then looked back down at the floor, not bothering to finish what he was saying.

  My mouth gaped open as a wave of extreme hurt and pain attacked my entire body. Tears swelled in my eyes, and I couldn't keep my mouth shut no matter the force I had bit down on my lip.

  I had to say it.

  I had to release it before it consumed me completely. He might hate me, but I couldn't let that deter me.

  "If you would wake the fuck up, Trevelin, you would see you're not alone and that you do have somebody...me! You've had me all along!" I argued back, jabbing myself in the chest. Meeting my stare, he had the look of utter shock. "God, I hated you when I first met you,” I continued, causing him to look back down at the floor he found so intriguing. “You were nothing but a self-centered jackass that I couldn't stand. But then I discovered you were like an onion. The more layers that were peeled back the more the inner you was revealed. And I fell...I fell in love with him,” I choked on my own words along with unshed tears. “You had me, Trevelin. You always have. I...I love you."

  His eyes returned back to mine at high speed, and I witnessed his face drain of all color. Pure white, blank as a sheet of paper.

  Never once did he make a move nor did he offer to say anything back. I waited patiently for anything. Even a fuck you would have been better than his ear splitting silence.

  Soon, time ticking by, his staring and unsaid emptiness got the better of my integrity. I walked across the room, grabbed my bag, opened all the drawers that contained my clothes and quickly tossed them messily into the suitcase. I did the same with the closet and my bathroom products. When I was done, I zipped it hastily as he watched like a mysterious ghost trying to be unseen.

  Yanking it from the bed, I walked toward the bedroom door, then turned to him one last time before I left—like he’d said I should at the bar. His eyes were red and glassy from the liquor while mine were rimmed with tears.

  I sadly gave him my last words. "You are the most beautiful, amazing person I have ever met,” I said softly, fighting back the wave that was threatening to pour from my eyes. “You don't give yourself half the credit you deserve,” I sniffed. “You are a good guy, and just because your life sucked as a kid and you had nobody, that doesn't mean it's supposed to be that way your whole life. I wish you weren't so aloof, and I wish you the absolute best, Hollywood. I really do. And I'd be an idiot to say I won't miss you, because I will. More than anything. Thank you for what you have taught me, and thank you for what you have given me. As much as you may hate me, I don’t hate you. Just...don’t be a stranger the next time you’re in Oklahoma." With that said, I disappeared through the door.

  I wanted to go to him, beat him in his gosh darn head and ask if he had heard anything I’d said. I told him I loved him for Christ sake, and he just sat there. Frozen.

  Somehow I continued my mindless journey through the condo.

  When I reached the lobby, I could no longer keep up the strong wall I had built to protect myself from the feelings I’d developed for the screwed up, drunk Knight Raider sitting in a room high above me. Tears seeped from my eyes and drenched my face. I tried so hard to just be his friend and it bit me in the fanny. I fought so badly to keep from telling him that when Ryker had kissed me, I’d shoved him away, and after I discovered he was okay, I’d told him I felt nothing for him and that we could never be anything more than friends. I wanted to tell Trevelin that Ryker’s kiss was nothing compared to when he kissed me. That Ryker touching my face didn't set my body ablaze and that his scent didn't intoxicate my senses like his did.

  I viciously swiped the tears away with the back of my hand as they fell, trying to find some composure in order to be able to speak to the concierge. “Um...I need you to ring an occupant for me please,�
�� I sniffled to the guy behind the counter. I paid no attention to the funny look he gave me. I could only imagine what kind of a mess I looked like.

  “Sure thing, Miss Morgan. Who do you need?” I felt terrible that the guy knew me by name and I still didn’t know his or anyone else’s beside the doorman’s.

  “Mac, please.”

  He nodded and picked up the phone. “You alright?” he asked before calling up to Big Mac's room.

  Composing myself the best I could, I said, “Yeah, perfect,” while forcing a lying smile that threatened to send me straight to the gates of Hell.

  ♪♫♪♫♪♫

  When the big guy finally reached the lobby he’d looked vicious, ready for an attack. Then when he saw me and that I was alone and crying, his expression turned mushy and soft as he begged me to stop with the waterworks. When I’d asked him to take me to the airport, uncertainty and displeasure were a few emotions that flashed across his darkly colored, round face. He told me over and over he didn't want me to leave, but no matter his pleading, I knew I had to.

  Trevelin basically told me to. I couldn't stay after that. Not to mention, he never tried to stop me from actually doing so. The main thing that still hurt like an open flesh wound was that he never acknowledged me after my raw confession. I believe it was very evident that I was leaving and he simply let me. Did I really expect differently?

  I successfully arrived at LAX and bought my ticket for the first available flight to Oklahoma, which surprisingly was scheduled to arrive in a few hours. I couldn’t have gotten any luckier. That thought was a sad expense to how I actually felt.

  On my way to the airport I’d texted Addie a much detailed description of what happened and told her where I was and what terminal I was at in case she wanted to join me on the flight back home.

  Our album was technically unfinished, but at that particular moment there was nowhere else I wanted to be besides home. I figured I would take a week or two to recover my self-worth and dignity before I would return a new person to finish the album while staying somewhere that was far, far away from anything Knight Raiders associated.

  Planted in one of the most uncomfortable chairs known to man, I waited for my flight and a certain-to-be-unhappy sister's reply. If she were to join me on the flight back home it was going to be a nightmare. No more of a nightmare than I was living right now. Not after what Trevelin just put me through. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. Lugging a huge suitcase through an enormous airport while pieces of my insides died off was very tiring.

  I had been playing a stupid game on my phone to pass the slowly ticking time when I heard a deep voice shouting my name at the top of their lungs. Technically it wasn’t my actual name, but try telling my quick beating heart that.

  What is he doing here? Did he come to stomp on my heart some more, to completely disable it? He did just fine the first time.

  I chanced a look in the direction where I’d heard him shout my name to see him running frantically up and down the terminal, searching worriedly. As much as I wanted to keep quiet, to sink deep into my seat and pray that I would go unnoticed, to save me from being humiliated more than what had already taken place, I also didn't want security to be called on him either.

  On a deep shaky breath, I stood up, smoothed out my now wrinkled shirt and tugged on my shorts to cover more of my legs. Addie must have told him where I was. How else would he have known? I was going to strangle her.

  "COUNTRY!" His head whipped from side to side, looking in every direction he could manage. I slightly felt sorry for him and his desperation. Then the overwhelming fact that he was in the middle of a public airport scared the crap out of me. It wasn’t a very busy night, but it was LAX. The place stayed packed, and I didn’t see Big Mac or Double-D tagging along behind him. That prompted me to slowly move a little faster, if that even made sense.

  The last thing I wanted was him to get mobbed by Knight Raider fans waiting for their flights.

  He stopped when he saw me, but only for a second. In a flash he was in front of me with his hard, tattooed arms wrapped tightly around my body. His breathing was harsh and his chest was rapidly rising and falling while trying to catch his breath. I could feel mine instantly start working harder as well. He’d been running, and from what I could tell it was a workout for his lungs. I'd seen him run, I'd seen him perform, and he’d never once become that out of breath.

  "You should really quit smoking," I spoke frankly while being held in his arms. I also remembered him throwing back shot after shot like they were water and wondered how he wasn’t throwing up right now. He seemed completely sober.

  My words enticed him to squeeze me more, like if he were to let go, I would leap off a cliff to my death. "So I've been told," he laughed, but without clarity or humor.

  With all the force I could muster, I brought my hands to his heaving chest and pushed him back. He was all up in my personal space and it was hard to think sensibly when he was in it.

  "I have a flight to catch, Trevelin. And you’re in public without your security." To make this even more apparent to him, a voice came over the intercom announcing the flight to Oklahoma was now boarding. Panic burst in his shimmery eyes. The muscles in his neck started throbbing as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.

  I sighed, yanked my hand free from his grasp and tortured myself more by swiveling to go fetch my carry on, leaving him for the second time. Like the first one wasn’t hard enough.

  Halfway back to my seat, the words I had longed to hear for what felt like a lifetime was shouted plain as day. "I fuckin' love you, Isabel Morgan!"

  I froze in my stride.

  My back was to him, but I could hear the fervor and desperation and the way it cracked in his voice.

  "God, I love you. More than life. More than any damn thing," he continued. I was unable to keep my back to him. I suddenly had an urgent need to see his face. The face that was scruffy and extremely beautiful. As I turned, I caught sight of people watching us as though we were acting out a scene from some romance movie, but I knew the stares were for the famous Knight Raider spilling his guts to a girl in a public airport. When my eyes found his, I was set aback by the strong emotion I saw running wild on his face.

  I slowly walked back to him, and with a soft smile on his pink lips, he stared me right in the eyes.

  “Trevelin—”

  His fingers came up and covered my lips, preventing me from speaking. "Let me speak,” he interjected with endearment. I gladly shut up and listened. “I need you, babe, like really fucking bad. I don't know what you did to me, but I haven't been right ever since I saw you in that sea foam green dress and those sexy as shit cowgirl boots on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere,” his voice rasped, making him sound like a teenage boy going through puberty.

  “I thought you had destroyed me. It was like a bomb had gone off inside my body. All this new shit started flying out of nowhere, in all directions. But what I've realized is...that you...you didn't destroy me. You saved me from destroying myself. You awoke things in me that have been hibernating my entire life. What did almost kill me though was hearing what you said then you walking away. I've never felt like this for anyone, Country, and as much as I tried to keep away from it, because I thought it was wrong and I that I didn't deserve you...I fell, too. And I fell fucking hard. I love you, so damn much. And if loving you is wrong…then I don't ever want to be right."

  Our surroundings vanished. All the staring people...gone.

  Poof.

  They were no more as it became only me and my Knight Raider that just completely blew my mind, along with my heart, straight into outer space. To the point of being able to see stars. And that is just what he was – my shining star. My rock star.

  In no time flat, I was in his arms with my legs wrapped tightly around his trim waist. My fingers instantly became tangled in his hair as his hands cupped my butt, holding me against him in a passionate embrace. Our mouths crashed t
ogether with a kiss that felt like it was needed in order to survive.

  It was.

  Without him I would be dead, a zombie, simply going about life only because my body was still wandering the planet. The thing that finally pulled us out of our deep, soul crushing connection wasn't the fact that we needed to come up for air, rather the loud sound of applause echoing around us. It was then that everyone came back into vision and the flashing of cameras brought me back to reality.

  I didn't care though. Trevelin Knight, my Hollywood, my Knight Raider, just admitted that he loved me. I could die from pure joy.

  “I can’t go another second, Country, without knowing. Tell me you’re mine.”

  My heart fluttered its newly sprung wings at the word mine. “Hollywood, I’ve been yours from the first night you stealthily slept with me on my couch.”

  A sparkle gleamed in his still red eyes, and the biggest heart and panty melting smile took over his face. “God, I fucking love you,” he murmured, pulling me back into a kiss so deep I could feel it mingle with my soul.

  ♪♫♪♫♪♫

  I was the happiest woman in the world—scratch that, the universe. Trevelin Knight had just devoted his love to me...Isabel Morgan. A plain Jane from Oklahoma who happened to sing and play the guitar and piano, a girl who would now either be on the hit list of every female fan of his or envied by them. One of the two. I’m hoping more for the latter.

  Why he’d chosen me to fall in love with was beyond me, and honestly I couldn’t care less of the reasons why. I was just elated that he felt the same for me as I did him; that I wasn’t alone in this battle between right or wrong. All the heavy crushing pain that had been sitting on my chest like a Sumo wrestler was now lifted, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

  Who knew I’d get bit by the love bug, causing me to fall ill for a famous rock star, and who knew that same sexy rock star would get bit by that same bug, causing him to fall ill for me. I could seriously kiss that freakin’ bug. Unless it was a spider.