Shadowwalker

by Rhonda L. Print

  Chapter 18

  No longer caring how much of his money he spent on the ridiculously overpriced clothing in the enormous closet, I chose a matching set of silky bra and panties and topped them with soft linen pants and a silk blouse. If I was to be held captive—and clearly, I was—then I may as well be comfortable.

  More than comfortable, I grudgingly admitted, if only to myself, as I took a moment to enjoy the luxurious feel of the silk against my body.

  When I once again stepped into the kitchen, a steaming cup of tea sat on the table next to a cheese-covered omelet. My mouth began to water. Raven had cooked for me, and it looked delicious, but I was still pissed.

  Do you trust him? my subconscious asked.

  I thought I did…before.

  Ignoring the food and the tea, I strode toward the pantry. Yes, I needed to eat, but it didn’t have to be anything he’d made. Finding an unopened package of crackers and filling a glass with tap water, I sat down to enjoy my feast.

  “It’s not poisoned,” came a deep voice from the doorway.

  I gave him my best “You really think I’ll believe you?” look and took another nibble of the cracker.

  “You really don’t trust me.” Raven sounded…disappointed? Sad? Oh hell! I didn’t give a damn how he felt. After all, I was his captive, not his friend!

  “I thought you were feigning sleep, so I injected myself so I would arise sooner. As it turned out, I was correct.”

  Holy shit! He knew all along? Or at least suspected.

  “How did you find me?”

  He scraped his fingers through his hair and sighed deeply, reluctant to answer. “All of my cars are equipped with a tracking device.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I kept my mouth shut.

  Chapter 19

  Nearly an hour later, as I sat in the great room reading, I heard a buzzing noise followed by a soft ring. Raven stood from the desk in the corner of the room where he’d been steadily working on his laptop and crossed the room to the door. He pulled it open to reveal a nervous looking young man holding a large cardboard box with the word Montes embossed on the side. Raven took the box and then produced a bill from his wallet, sizeable if the smile on the young man’s face was anything to go by, and shut the door.

  “Dinner,” Raven announced.

  “What?”

  “You can’t survive on crackers and water, little one.”

  I was determined to ignore the food, but my traitorous mouth watered the moment he popped open the first container. The delectable scent of beef filled the air as he laid out a steak, twice-baked potato, and steamed vegetables. Then he produced a Caesar salad and smaller dishes with sour cream, butter, and garnishes. He laid out a cloth napkin neatly folded around silverware and finally, a single red rose in an elegant crystal vase.

  With a flourish he held the chair out for me and grinned. “Montes is supposed to serve the best filet mignon in town. I’ve never personally eaten there, so I’ll have to go by your opinion.”

  I stood dumbfounded, grasping for words. What I finally got out was, “How did you get delivery, like this, in the middle of the night?”

  “You can get almost anything, anytime, with the proper motivation.”

  My jaw dropped.

  Raven placed his hand on the side of my face, his thumb gently stroking my bottom lip. “Do you think me so sinister as to threaten someone’s life for a steak dinner?” he asked, his tone light and amused. “I tip well.”

  I snapped my jaw shut and took the seat he offered but then hesitated. Could Raven have “tipped” well enough to have the delivery man taint my food?

  As if reading my thoughts, Raven added, “I had hoped that you would trust take-out food. You really should eat.”

  His voice had a touch of sorrow, and I suddenly didn’t want to disappoint him. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just—surprised. Most people just order a pizza.”

  “If you would prefer…”

  I cut him off. “No,” I eyed the meal appreciatively and my stomach growled in acknowledgement, “this is…perfect.”

  Smoothing the napkin over my lap and sinking the knife into the tender meat, I cut off a small piece and popped it into my mouth. I couldn’t help the small groan of pleasure as the perfectly cooked beef hit my taste buds.

  Raven smiled and sat down at the table across from me. He watched me eat in companionable silence, getting up only once to open a fresh bottle of wine and pour me a glass.

  “I don’t want you to distrust me, Zen,” Raven said when I’d finally laid down my fork and knife. “I told you that I am an honorable man and I have failed to prove that to you. For that, I apologize.” His elbows were propped on the table with his chin resting on the palms of his hands. The effect was…almost laughable. This six feet plus vampire with an apprehensive grin and eyes boring into mine with a genuine look of contrition in them was asking for my, what? Forgiveness?

  I said the only thing I could think of. “I heard you.”

  His brow furrowed with confusion. “Heard me?”

  “On the phone, before I left. I heard what you said.”

  Those dark eyebrows shot up.

  “You”—I stammered for the proper words and decided to take the direct approach—“fucked me so you could search me!” My voice cracked, and I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. “Then you drugged me and sent me to bed like a small child.”

  “Zen, I…”

  I pushed away from the table and stood, the force of it knocking my chair back. “Just what exactly were you looking for, anyway? Or should I ask, what was Mouse looking for, whoever the hell he, or it, is?”

  When he began to speak, I threw up my hands to stop him. “Never mind, I don’t expect the truth from you.” I felt a satisfied grin tug at the edges of my lips when he winced. “If I have to stay here, and obviously I do, you keep your distance and I’ll keep mine! Sorry, but you’ll have to find a different ‘distraction’ to occupy your free time.” Proud that I’d managed to keep my voice calm and even, I spun on my heel and marched upstairs. I shoved my way into the room that housed Raven’s video game console and entrance to the balcony. The couch looked comfortable enough and it would have to do, I sure as hell wasn’t sharing a bed with him!

  Chapter 20

  I stripped off the pants and bra and settled on the sofa. I tossed and turned for the next hour but not because the couch was uncomfortable. Betrayal ran thick, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue.

  I heard a tentative knock on the door and ignored it.

  “Zen, let me in,” Raven pleaded softly. When I didn’t answer he added, “At least come to bed.”

  I snorted a teary chuckle. Like that was gonna happen.

  “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offered. How chivalrous of him.

  It was a while before I heard his footsteps retreating down the hall. Then I heard the rustling of fabric and his return. “I have blankets for you, little one.”

  Maintaining my silence until I heard the floor creak beneath his feet, I stood and cracked open the door to the hall and peered outside. Below me lay two neatly folded blankets, a sheet, and a cold water bottle.

  “You have to believe me, Zen. I never meant to cause you harm.”

  “Believe you!” I scoffed. “Why the hell should I believe anything you say? Is Raven even your real name?”

  After a long silence he said, “No.”

  My eyes flew wide; first with shock and then with betrayal. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I didn’t. I simply stood there in the doorway, staring into the darkness.

  “I don’t know how to do this, Zen.” Raven’s voice came from the shadows of the hallway.

  “Do what?” I asked, exasperation creeping into my voice.

  “Court you.” He answered so simply that I laughed.

  “You want to…date me?”

  “If we were in the time where I came from and I was a man of your station, I would court you. I would first go to yo
ur parents and state my intentions. Most assuredly I would not be your only suitor, so I would need to win your favor and prove my worth to you.”

  “I don’t need you to prove your worth to me, Raven.”

  He stepped from the shadows into the faint light of the hall. “May I come in?” he asked with a low bow.

  “It’s your house,” I reminded him, moving out of the doorway and perching myself on the sofa.

  “If you had completed your domestic training…”

  “Excuse me?” I felt my indignation rise.

  “Domestic training.” His grin was disarming. “All women of a respectable age and status were taught the proper ways of society.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “As I was saying…” His pause was a bit theatrical, and I had to stifle a giggle. “I would escort you to church or public entertainments. Ask you for a dance at the occasional ball or simply spend time walking with you in the parks. I would hold your hand in mine as we strolled, preferably into the cover of the woods where I would steal a kiss…or two.” His voice was low, seductive. “Perhaps we would have supper together, and after you would sing for me…”

  I held up my hand to stop him. “I don’t sing.”

  “Or play a musical instrument.”

  I shook my head, fighting the urge to laugh. “Nope.”

  Raven, or whatever the hell his name was, grinned, obviously enjoying his little story. “We’d dance.”

  “I can’t dance.”

  “I’ll teach you.” He sat beside me. “I’m an exceptional dancer.”

  “I’ll be you are.”

  “And once I won your hand, we would marry.”

  Marriage? Whoa!

  “At your age I wouldn’t need your parents’ permission.”

  “At my age?” I scoffed, temporarily forgetting the marriage remark.

  “Oh yes.” He took my hand in his. “You have far passed the normal age for matrimony.”

  “Sucks to be me,” I remarked sarcastically, much to Raven’s amusement. “Is that how you courted women in your time?”

  His grin disintegrated before my eyes. “I have only witnessed the ritual, not participated in it. However,” he continued before I could comment, “Ian was exceptional at it.”

  “The Marquis? That Ian?”

  “He was quite the ladies man.”

  “Does Leah know of his lecherous past?” I quipped, enjoying this small glimpse into Raven’s life.

  “It was long ago.”

  “And why didn’t you court anyone?” I asked, not believing for a moment that he didn’t give Ian a run for his money.

  “I was the bastard child of a nobleman.” Shadows darkened his eyes, and his teasing smirk disappeared. “Hidden in the shadows long before I became vampire.”

  “What is, or was, your name?”

  “I am.” He shrugged. “It was my mom’s way of pissing off Ian’s mother. She gave her illegitimate bastard nearly the same name, changing only one letter.”

  “I thought you and Ian were brothers?”

  “Half. We share a father. My mother was a house servant.”

  “So, your father, what? Cheated on Ian’s mother? And he was considered a nobleman?” I asked in disbelief. “Not in my lifetime,” I assured him. “Did Ian’s mother know?”

  “When I was older, there was an argument,” he said by way of explanation. “One of the worst they’d had that Ian or I knew of. Father told her about my parentage in a fit of rage. Until then, Ian’s mother saw me only as the servant’s child. She’d forbid Ian from playing with me many times, saying I was beneath his station, but he always ignored her.” His lips twitched in a sad smile for a moment and then fell again, as if he didn’t have the energy to hold the grin. “Once she found out that I was her husband’s bastard son, she cast my mother and me away.”

  “And your dad did nothing to stop her?” How could he let his own child get tossed out of his life? It was unimaginable.

  “He was never my dad,” Raven clarified. “He tolerated my existence, nothing more. Like my mother, I was a servant. While Ian was doted on, I was treated like a slave.”

  “Is that why you killed Emily?” I asked, remembering that he said he’d killed the woman Ian loved.

  “No.” His laugh was bitter. “Regardless of my parentage, Ian and I were always brothers. I loved Ian, always have. He was my brother long before we knew who my true father was. Ian would bring me cakes and the finest of foods from the big house. He shared everything he had with me. His mother called me a dark stain on the blue sky.” His gaze grew distant and then morphed into a fond smile. “Ian’s the one who gave me the name ‘Raven’, saying it is the symbol of a great warrior.”

  “What happened to your mom?”

  “She went to the house of the Countess Elizabeth and never returned.”

  “You didn’t go with her?”

  “Elizabeth wouldn’t allow it. She did not want children in her court.”

  Chapter 21

  Raven’s obsidian eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them as he recounted his mother’s loss and his life after. “Ian made his father take me in by threatening to expose my parentage to the community and thereby tarnishing his father’s good name. So he agreed to let me live there, as Ian’s whipping boy.”

  I sucked in a gasp. “A whipping boy? Like, you were beaten whenever Ian did something wrong?” I wanted to reach out and wipe the painful memories from Raven’s face, but his demeanor kept me at bay.

  “Ian vowed to never give our father a reason to, and he didn’t. But Father was a sadistic son of a bitch and never ran out of reasons to punish me for imaginary misgivings. He would beat me with his hands, a belt, switch, or whip, but always where it could not be seen without removing my clothes. He told me that if I told Ian, he’d cast us both out.” Defiance colored his expression. “I never told Ian. He’d already given up so much for me, I couldn’t bear to be the reason he got tossed out of his home and station.”

  “Where does Emily fit in?”

  “Emily arrived early one spring, and she seemed to be a fine lady—fair of skin, petite in stature, and of good station. But she, too, had her own way of torturing me, visiting the stables where I worked often, subtly brushing against me, touching my arm, my shoulder, and face.”

  “You fell in love with her,” I stated.

  Raven’s only reply was, “She was above my station. Once she figured it out, she turned her attention to Ian. He never knew about us, and I wasn’t about to tell him that the woman he courted was once mine. Ian was happily oblivious until he found me bleeding in the stables. Father had gone on another rage and beaten me unconscious. Ian was furious and the two of us fled to the house of Countess Elizabeth.

  By then, Ian’s own mother had since died, leaving him a considerable estate. He insisted it was time to expose my parentage to the community and vowed to care for me and my mother. But she was no longer there. Elizabeth said she’d fallen ill.”

  Raven’s dark eyes were glazed over and swimming with sorrow, and I was drowning in love. Love for the whipping boy he’d once been, the man who’d kept secrets to protect his brother, and the son who’d lost his mother. I remained silent as he continued.

  “Elizabeth sheltered us for a while before she revealed that she was a vampire and offered us eternal life and immeasurable strength.”

  “And you both agreed.”

  “Not at first, not until she fed our anger enough to convince us that along with vampirism was the means to avenge both our mothers’ lives. It was as tempting a drug as there could ever be, and we accepted without question.

  “Afterward, Ian continued to secretly court Emily, although it was forbidden for a vampire to become involved with a human. Secrecy was the first law.

  “When Elizabeth discovered his secret, she made me believe that Ian was in grave danger, that she had foreseen his death at the hands of Emily, and the only way to change his fate was for me to kill her.” His gaze dr
opped to his hands. “She didn’t know that I had loved Emily too. It was a secret I kept to myself.” He shook his head sadly. “But I couldn’t allow anyone to harm Ian; he was all that I had left. So I did what Elizabeth bid.”

  “She made you do it, like mind control.” It wasn’t a question because there was no doubt in my mind that’s what had happened. I’d heard of such things before but didn’t really know that vampires could do that, until now.

  One corner of his lip quirked in a grim half smile. “Ian suggested the same thing on many occasions. It just seemed like a convenient excuse to me.”

  “But it was still true,” I replied.

  He was silent for so long that I thought he’d say no more.

  “Ian left after that. It was one of the worst moments of my existence.”

  “Where did you go?” I breathed.

  “I stayed with Elizabeth. She comforted me.” A harsh laugh. “Seduced me with her body and her lies. She taught me the ways to pleasure a woman, the bindings. She liked pain with her pleasure, and I was intoxicated by the control. It was the only way I knew how to love, the only way I still know.”

  His gaze leaped to mine. He was making a confession. Raven’s entire life had been based on pain and his need to gain control of his existence.

  It was the only way I knew how to love, the only way I still know.

  “You want to hurt me?”

  “No!” His expression was horrified. “Never! But I do like the control.”

  “And I enjoyed being dominated by you,” I admitted coquettishly.

  “I know.” His voice was deeply seductive, and a spark of seduction lit his eyes.

  “What happened to Elizabeth?” I needed to hear the rest of this story, to know more of Raven’s life.

  “We found out that she lied, had lied to both Ian and I all along. She thought the most potent weapon in her arsenal was her ability to seduce. She was wrong; her skill at mind compulsion was her greatest asset.”

  “So you do believe it was compulsion?”

  “She invaded my brain and controlled my thoughts. Essentially, she could mind-fuck me. I take no pleasure of knowing that weakness in myself.”