One Percent of You

by Michelle Gross

  “Bye, Elijah.” Lucy waved. “Remember Skittles. I also like Twinkies.”

  “Get in, and I’ll buckle you up,” Hadley told Lucy as she watched her daughter walk to the car. Then she turned back to me. “Sorry about Lucy. Her grandparents spoil her a bit, and she doesn’t realize how weird it is to ask a stranger for something.”

  “We’re not strangers, anymore,” I said.

  “You know what I mean.” I knew she wanted us to stay strangers. “Please don’t get her anything else. If you still feel guilty, don’t. Lucy doesn’t even care about the chip incident. She’ll keep bugging you if you keep this up. So don’t. You’re our neighbor, and I really don’t want to waste my energy scowling in your direction the next time you have something bad to say about Lucy.”

  My eyes widened as she turned away. I couldn’t let her leave just like that, not when she was still waiting for me to make an ass of myself again. “Wait.” She paused and frowned over her shoulder at me. “Jesus.” I wiped my hand down my face and sighed. “You still think I dislike Lucy? I’m insensitive sometimes—okay I am a lot—but I would never intentionally hurt a kid’s feelings. I just have a low tolerance for them.” Her eyes hardened, and I was screwing this up, but I wanted her to understand me. “I like Lucy though. For a kid, I can tell she’s headstrong already and goes for what she wants. I can respect that she’s got a grumpy asshole like me bringing her chips every week like it’s my job to do so.”

  Yes. I made her smile. But it was short-lived.

  “That’s what I’m saying. For your sake, please just stop going along with her. It’s not so bad now, but Lucy remembers these things, and she’s persistent. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her it’s rude, especially when you ignore me and bring her stuff, anyway. She’s a kid. She knows she’s not supposed to do it. You didn’t help matters by bringing those chips every single week like you were obligated.”

  I knew I didn’t have to do it. I wanted to do it.

  Holy shit. That was it. I wanted to. Any excuse to venture over here toward them.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally said.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered. “But I have to go or I’ll be late.”

  “I’ll see ya then.” I took a step back as she smiled lightly.

  “Bye,” she mumbled before walking away from me.

  I realized in that very instant that I wanted to befriend them, but she was making it impossible.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hadley

  Shaking my head, I stared down at the mountain of food in the break room. “Oh, Georgie, you didn’t have to get me all of this.”

  She waved her hand dismissively. “Nonsense. We’re finally losing you, and it sucks, but I’m glad for you. Besides, the girls pitched in and made you something. They’re using your last day as an excuse to sneak in here and snack.” That made me snicker as I grabbed a plastic plate and piled it with food. “When do you start at the hospital?” she asked after we sat down.

  “Monday. That gives me the weekend to relax and spend time with my babies.”

  Georgie shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know what we’ll do without you.”

  “I’m sorry,” I told her, and I meant it. CNAs worked long hours with low pay. CNAs did all the brute work and everything else. I’d have the same duties at the hospital and more, but a nursing home and a hospital were different. At a nursing home, we didn’t have patients. We had residents and our job were these people’s home. We had to make sure it felt like home for them despite the care we gave. Not all, but most patients at a hospital could more or less take care of themselves. Most of the residents at the nursing home required absolute care. We tended to their every need. There was a variety of health problems—people suffering from strokes, dementia, Alzheimer’s, and people on bedrest. Some walked into this place seemingly capable and then their disease progressed—the devastating part was watching them steadily decline.

  That was why the hardest part of leaving would be the residents. I’d become attached to them and when one passed, I felt it. The sadness worsened when Bethany—a ninety-year-old resident—asked why I had to go.

  “Don’t be. You’ve worked hard, and it paid off,” said Georgie.

  I knew I did. Between nursing clinicals, classes, tests, and endless hours on the job, I was due for almost four years of sleep, but my hard work had paid off. I passed the NCLEX exam with flying colors! All of that worrying the week before was for nothing.

  “I’m ready for more time with Lucy and Eli,” I said cheerfully.

  “Well, you’ll be getting a lot of that now. Do you know what shift you’re getting yet?”

  “Mornings,” I told her. The nurses at Sassafras’s Hospital did twelve-hour shifts. The options were seven a.m. to seven p.m. or seven p.m. to seven a.m. Three days on and four off was my new work schedule. I couldn’t freaking wait. The only time I took a break from work was during the six weeks after having Eli, other than that, it felt like I was always at the nursing home.

  So, yes, I was so ready to leave. This was a great step forward for my little family and me.

  Lucy’s bright smile when I had told her, “No more sleepovers at Mamaw and Papaw’s after tonight,” was the highlight of my entire week. She jumped up and down on the bed, making her brother gawk at her like she was crazy. That was the moment I knew there was no love purer than a mother and her child. She wanted to be with me more than anyone else. Lucy loved me without fault, and I didn’t want to ever fail her or Eli.

  “Oh, here.” Georgie got up and walked toward her locker. “I won’t be able to make it to Lucy’s party tomorrow since I’ll be stuck here.”

  It was her birthday present. She would be four tomorrow which was another anxiety entirely. Mom talked me into putting her in preschool. I knew it would be great for her, but it didn’t ease my worries. My baby was ready for school, but I wasn’t ready. It was a week into June, and her first day was constantly on my mind.

  “I’ll take pictures when she opens it tomorrow and send them to you,” I said as I placed the present beside my plate.

  “Thanks.” When I glanced up from my food, Georgie stared at me. “I’m going to miss you, child. Don’t be a stranger, ya hear?”

  Her words made me a little sad. One part of my life, the part that’s kept us afloat the last few years, was ending, but I was ready for whatever came next.

  ______

  “It’s okay, Hadley.” Mom patted my back the next day as I fought off my tears. “You tried.”

  “She shouldn’t have had to try,” Dad pitched in. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was angry. “Scott’s family has never been good to her. Why does she have to try for them now?”

  “We’ll just have separate birthdays from now on,” Mom added with another tender pat.

  It was my initial plan, but then Scott made me feel guilty. He claimed that he couldn’t afford to do anything for Lucy and didn’t want her disappointed in him. He even said that his parents wouldn’t help. All that changed when his family showed up to the lake for the party I prepared for Lucy. As soon as the Jameson’s arrived, all I heard was Scott’s mom nagging.

  “Why, Hadley, this party has no decoration.”

  “I didn’t know you liked Trolls, Lucy?”

  “Meme Lilly will buy you a cake bigger than this one.”

  “I knew a woman who did cakes. Hadley, if you would have asked for our input, we could have gotten a bigger one for Lucy.”

  “Does Lucy look like she’s lost weight?”

  “Are you eating, Lucy?”

  “How about Lucy and Eli spend the night with us tonight? Give you and Scott the chance to hang out…”

  Her last comment pushed me past my limit. I let Mrs. Jameson know that my children were going home with me. Besides, why would I send Lucy and Eli to someone who spent every moment being rude to them? Needless to say, Mrs. Jameson was not happy. By the time my parents and I loaded up the car, I felt guil
ty, but it was so hard to be nice to people who could be so mean.

  “You okay?” Holly, the only friend who stuck around after I got pregnant, asked me.

  It made me sad sometimes when I thought about everyone I lost just because I had a child, but I had no regrets. As soon as I had Eli buckled in, I turned and gave Holly a hug. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks for coming.”

  “It was good seeing you. Let’s hang out if you ever get the chance or I can come over now that you’ll have some free time,” she offered.

  “I’d love that.”

  She shot a heated look at Scott’s family as they got into their car and drove away. “I don’t see how you put up with them for so long. You always deserved better than Scott.”

  “Tell her, Holly,” Dad muttered.

  “Don’t you worry, I am!” Holly said. I gave her a smile as I pulled away from her. “I’m going to head out.”

  Once my friend was gone, Mom started pestering me. “You guys come over and hang out with us the rest of the day.”

  I didn’t know what I’d do without my parents. They were my rock. They helped me a lot before Scott and I split, but the last year they’d gone above and beyond so that I could finish school and work. They made me feel confident when the rest of the world judged me for being both young and a single mom of two.

  “That actually sounds good,” I told her.

  “Don’t let them tear you down, baby girl.” Mom rubbed my head like I was Lucy’s age.

  “Need us to help you unload the presents and cake at the apartment?” Dad asked as he helped Lucy in her seat.

  “Nah, we got it, don’t we, Lucy?”

  “Yeah!” she screamed so I could hear her.

  “Ride up when you’re finished.” Dad stepped over and kissed my forehead. He didn’t do it often, but his grumpy butt always seemed to know when Olivia or me needed a little extra affection.

  “I will.”

  The lake was only five minutes from the apartments. When I saw a shirtless Elijah pushing a lawnmower, I did a double take, slowing down as I pulled into the parking lot. From the tattoos I saw peeking out from his T-shirts, I figured he was probably covered, but I wasn’t prepared for his toned and muscular body. Since the weather turned nicer, and he stopped wearing jackets, I’d noticed Elijah’s bulging biceps. But God bless America…

  So much muscle. So many tattoos. I wondered if he even remembered what his plain skin looked like?

  “Fudge!”

  I eased up on my brakes trying to avoid calling attention to my blunder. I’d driven to the end of the parking lot. Another foot forward, and I’d run over the curb. There wasn’t anything I could do but back up and turn around. Too late for being subtle. Elijah noticed us. My heart kicked up a notch. The guy gave me palpitations. Interacting with Elijah wasn’t good for me. It was just all his overwhelming masculinity that made me uncomfortable—it was why I didn’t do well with men like him. He made me flustered, and I couldn’t help it.

  That was just me.

  “Elijah has so many tattoos, doesn’t he, mommy?” Lucy piped in from the back.

  I squinted and checked him out from the safety of the car. Despite my nerves, I liked the moments when he came over to speak to Lucy. Sometimes I thought maybe Elijah was trying to befriend us, but I became so panicky around him that I just wanted to get away. Hours later, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could have handled myself better. Then, I’d hate myself for running away out of intimidation.

  We didn’t meet under the best of circumstances, but his apology seemed genuine. Then I reminded myself that I thought Scott would always be faithful. I might not be the best judge of character.

  Disappointed with my thoughts, I put the car in park and grabbed the diaper bag as I stepped out. The mower shut off, and my skin prickled with heat. I knew it was more than the sun shining on me when my cheeks warmed too. Not looking to see if Elijah was coming over, I went to Lucy’s side and unbuckled her before getting Eli whose eyes were wide and blinking after a short nap.

  I looked over for the baby wrap carrier and then remembered I left it upstairs.

  “Elijah!” Lucy screamed, and I groaned on the inside. My child was too friendly. She didn’t see a stranger which worried me sometimes. I should probably stop thinking of Elijah as a stranger. After all, we knew each other’s names. “Come see the toys I got.”

  “Did you get a new toy?”

  Fudge. He sounded close. I stood with Eli in his car seat and pushed the diaper bag up on my shoulder. Elijah was on the other side of the car. He had some hair on his chest that I couldn’t notice so far away. And with all his tattoos, it was a wonder I saw it at all. I flushed head to toe. His shorts were loose and hung off his hips. He was so…sexy.

  Stop staring at his happy trail!

  “Today’s my birthday. I turned four.” Lucy held up four fingers.

  “You’re messing with me.” He placed his hands on his hips and glanced down at her. “Mine too.”

  “Really?” Lucy and I said together. The previous time we spoke was last month—May—and he’d mentioned his birthday coming soon. It was June.

  He glanced at me. “Yeah, really.” His gaze swept over me. “Your hair is down.”

  Oh, fudge! In this smothering heat, I didn’t even want to know what it looked like. I grabbed at it self-consciously. “Oh, yeah. Big mistake in this heat.”

  “Have you had cake?” Lucy asked him, and my heart pitter-pattered a frantic beat. I knew where she was going with her question. “We brought mine home from the party. I’ll give you some.” She glimpsed over at me knowing exactly what she was doing. “Can he come up and eat cake?”

  “Lucy… I’m sure he’s busy.” I didn’t even look at Elijah. It was already awkward enough.

  “Are you?” she asked him.

  “I don’t mind after I finish cutting the grass,” he replied. “If that’s all right with your mom?”

  I lifted my head and gazed up at him. Elijah was serious. At that moment, he watched me and waited for an answer.

  “Yay! I’ll show you what toys I got,” Lucy exclaimed.

  Not knowing how to leave this situation properly, I went to the trunk and tried to grab the first bag, forgetting that I’d planned to go upstairs first and grab the carrier.

  “Need help?” I tensed as I felt his smoldering body temperature hit my back, then his shirtless, slightly dewy chest brushed against me as he leaned over and grabbed the bags. “Is the cake up front? Want me to grab it first?”

  “S-sure,” I stammered as I gripped the car seat tighter and side-stepped out of his way. “Come grab one, Lucy.” She did and a minute later, Elijah was following us up the steps. He carried every single bag and the cake while Lucy held a Barbie doll she had to show him.

  Once we reached our apartment on the third floor, I put in the passcode and let us in. Elijah stood in the hall and dropped the bags at the entrance. Eli was getting fussy strapped in, but I still sat it down so I could take the cake from Elijah’s outstretched hand. “I don’t want to step inside with grassy tennis shoes.” He searched my face as I took the dessert from him. “I’ll come up once I’m finished?” he sounded like he was asking to make sure again.

  “Okay!” I said a little too cheery. I was trying to act normal, but didn’t know how to when Lucy had invited a man over like it was no big deal.

  “Okay.”

  I shut the door and didn’t even get to breathe because I was rushing over to Eli who wanted out of his car seat. He was boob-hunting the moment he landed on my chest. Lifting up my shirt, I unsnapped the nursing bra and fed him while picking up the cake and slowly maneuvering it to the fridge.

  “Take your toys to your room,” I told Lucy.

  Thirty minutes later, they were scattered all over the living room floor instead. She couldn’t figure out which toy—the dolls or the ponies—she wanted to play with the most. Papaw bought Lucy some cars, and she had those on the coffee table, creating a tow
n with them and playing when Elijah knocked on the door. Cradling Eli, I wiped my mouth and glanced down at the jogging pants and spaghetti-strap top I had changed into. It was okay, I told myself. I wasn’t dressing to impress him. I felt Elijah simply wanted to be friends. That was okay… Well, I wanted it to be. The only way to get used to having Elijah around was to be around him.

  When I opened the door, a spicy, heavenly cologne filled my nostrils. Elijah had showered and tossed on a white T-shirt and black silky shorts. His dark hair still dripped a bit. Elijah’s tattoos were both captivating and menacing-looking on his arms as he stepped in.

  He took off his shoes at the door. It was what my family did, and I liked that he did it without being asked. Good manners.

  Wow, I thought Elijah and I could really be friends as I watched him cross the tiny hallway into the kitchen and the living room. “Forgive the mess,” I said.

  “Elijah!” Lucy jumped up. “Look at my cars.”

  “You like playing with cars?” he asked, sounding shocked. Maybe it was because she was a girl. I played with them when I was younger too.

  “Yes. My papaw bought these for me.”

  “I used to paint model cars when I was little. They came in these kits where you put them together and everything.” He scratched his chin as he squatted beside her and picked up a blue car from the coffee table. “I haven’t in a long time... I might have to order me one online.”

  “Can I have one too?” Lucy asked.

  “You’d be interested in something like that?” He sounded surprised again.

  She nodded her head vigorously. “Can I paint mine pink?”

  He chuckled. It was a deep sound. One I felt in my stomach. “I don’t think they offer pink paint in the kit. If they don’t, I can find some pink for you.”

  “And blue for Bubby.” My heart warmed at that. Lucy was coming around to liking Eli more. She wasn’t as jealous, and she thought he was pretty funny when he laughed. Said he looked like an old person without teeth.

  “We can make him one too,” he told her, then he gazed up at me. I realized I had been smiling the entire time since Elijah’s attention wasn’t on me.