Walking in the Shadows

by Giovanni, Cassandra

  “You’re different,” he commented, stepping back another step from me.

  “Yeah, I grew up.”

  “Became a bigger bitch is more like it!” he mumbled to himself.

  I raised my hand to slap him and he flinched. I put my hand down and clenched it in a fist. There was already enough attention on us, and I didn’t need to give Tad a reason to come to my rescue.

  “You aren’t worth it—you never were,” I said, and I turned on my heel before he could respond. Tad was standing next to the science teacher, pretending to listen to him talk. I rushed out the door knowing that I should never have come. When I reached my car I noticed that the person parked next to me had left their driver side door open. I went around my car to close it. The scream that escaped my mouth could have woken the dead and in my head it had. The girl was laying half out of her car with her head on the cement and her eyes begging me to help. Her skin was pale and the bite on her neck was stained crimson with blood between the dark purple marks of murder. I choked, falling forward as I smelt the iron filling the air and the contents of my stomach threatened to come up.

  “Vera! Vera!” Tad shouted, seeing me fall to my knees. When he reached me his mouth dropped. “Oh, shit!”

  There were people rushing out of the building towards where the scream had come from. My mouth moved, but no words came out and Tad was dialing his phone as he pulled me up into his arms.

  “There’s a dead student at the Amherst Winter Formal,” he said as he began shaking. He pushed my head gently into his shoulder to force me to look away from the corpse. “It looks like a murder—vampire. Where’s the dance? The Marriot, please hurry…a student found her.”

  He looked over his shoulder at the crowd that was coming towards us. “Paul, Amy, please keep the students away from here. The police and ambulance are coming now,” he ordered.

  The teacher named Amy came towards us as Paul held back the students who had begun to come out of the building. A slight scream escaped her throat before she could stop herself. “Did she find her?”

  “Yeah, and I don’t know what to do,” Tad choked, stroking my hair as I sobbed into his shoulder.

  “It will be okay, honey. Knightley, get her away from here. She has to stay because she found her, but she doesn’t need to be right next to it,” Amy said, placing her hand on my back.

  He led me to his car, taking his suit jacket off and wrapping it around my shoulders. I leaned against the hood of his car looking at my feet.

  “Crap, Vera. Why did you have to find her?” Tad wondered out loud with his hands stuck in his hair. I would have wondered the same thing had I been able to form a logical thought.

  Silent tears were falling down my face as I choked out the words playing in my mind. “I’m cursed.”

  “Are you scared?” His eyes were racing across my face, and I could tell he wanted to hold me in his arms as much as I wanted him to hold me—but there was just too many people around.

  I nodded my head trying to hold the sob inside me, but I couldn’t and it burst forth like the scream, uncontrolled and frantic.

  Tad gave up and pulled me into his arms as the whirr of the police echoed in the distance. In seconds they were there and they rushed forward to push the students back. I could tell which one was the chief by the way he held himself. They always held themselves as if they had more of a job to do than the others. He went to the scene and knelt down to where I knew the body was. He spoke in hushed tones to the EMT who jumped out of the ambulance, barked orders to get all the students out of here and headed towards the teacher who had instructed Tad to lead me away. She pointed in our direction and he walked to us with passion and power. He had his pad out and ready by the time he reached us.

  “I know this is emotional, but I need some information from you,” he explained.

  I pulled away from Tad, swallowing my tears. “I know.”

  “Your name?” the chief began.

  “Vera MacIntyre…I mean Abigail Martin.”

  His confusion was apparent in his jerking motions. “Huh?”

  “It’s Abigail Martin. I’m under witness protection, so my name is also Vera MacIntyre,” I explained, sniffing.

  “Martin? So this isn’t the first time you’ve seen this?” the chief questioned, his eyes sharpening beneath his furrowed brow.

  “No, I had to ID my parents,” I replied.

  Oh, God, not the accusations again!

  “How did you find her?” he asked, and it was the first of many questions I could barely answer.

  ~~~

  It was in the moment that I saw the body bag that I truly lost it. I had been holding myself together as the chief went on and on with questions, but in that instant I was injected unwillingly into a memory. It was a memory that I had never wanted to relive and feel again. I could sense the world around me vanishing as my mind thrust me into it, and I logically tried to push it away. There was no way out of it though; it would come.

  The two body bags were placed in front of me and the coroner’s firm hand pushed me forward. I had not understood why they wanted the daughter to identify the bodies and to confirm what they already knew. I saw the scene as if in a mirror. The coroner was behind me; my hands twisted in front of me as he came around and unzipped the bags. In perfect unison he used both hands to thrust open the bags, so I could see their faces and pierced necks. All I did was nod my head.

  “Yeah, that’s them,” I said without emotion.

  What was wrong with me? The picture is turned around and I am doing, against my will, what a good daughter would have done. My mind tried to fight the emotions and bury them back where they belonged. I was coming apart at the seams in my own head because of some other body—a body I didn’t even know. The scream that escaped my lips was filled with agony.

  “Not them, no, no it can’t be them!”

  I could feel hands on my damp face, and then Tad’s handsome face came into view.

  “Vera, it’s okay; that already happened. They’re already—“

  “Dead,” I finished as I placed my hands over his, squeezing my eyes shut as my chest heaved with frantic breaths. Tad helped me up, and his face was stricken with an emotion that I couldn’t grasp.

  Paul, the science teacher that had relieved him of his duties, came around the ambulance that had blocked the view of the other students still waiting for rides.

  “Knightley, I don’t think she should drive home. You should drive her.”

  “Um...isn’t that against a teacher student policy?” Tad asked, but I could see that was exactly what he had planned on doing.

  “I think that policy went out the window when she saw a…you know,” Paul replied.

  “As long as I don’t get in trouble for this,” Tad answered, trying to sound reluctant.

  “She doesn’t have anyone else, Knightley—bring her home. You have my word, in front of the police that this will not come back on you. Your actions are admirable,” the superintendent of schools interjected as he walked up behind Paul with a sigh.

  Chapter 33

  “You realize,” Tad began as he pulled into my parking spot at my apartment, “that I’m not going to let you stay alone tonight.”

  “What if someone sees your car is still here in the morning?” I asked, but I didn’t want to fight it. I needed him.

  “We’ve gone over this before,” he reassured me, his eyes locked on mine. “My friend will vouch for me.”

  “You mean lie for you?”

  “He knows about us, Vera. It came out in conversation when he asked why we broke up and why I’d been so moody or whatever,” Tad explained, his hand warm on my back.

  “Really? I made you moody?” I asked, opening my apartment door.

  “Depressed is more like it.”

  “Join the club,” I replied, sliding his jacket off and handing it back to him. He stared down at it with his lips in a stern line.

  “I wish I was a more admirable boyfriend to you
. I would much rather be that than your teacher.”

  “I enjoy your teaching…but I do enjoy you being my boyfriend more. It just can’t be,” I replied, and his response was silence so I continued, “I should go change. You want your pajamas?”

  “Wait—did you get to slow dance at all?” Tad asked, and I shook my head. He fiddled with his phone before putting it down on the coffee table and holding his hand out. “May I have this dance?”

  “No, we shouldn’t. You should go home…it’s too hard to have you here and then tomorrow I’ll be in your classroom again as your student. It’s so easy for you to go from here to there,” I whispered, my voice trailing off.

  “You have got to know...” Tad cried out, throwing his hands up. “You have to know this is not easy on me either. I see you almost every day as my student, and I have to fight myself...who I really am—you know it. You’re so sensible about this whole thing, everything, you’re just so strong. I wish I could be like you and forget all the pain.”

  “It’s a farce Tad, I’m not strong. I feel like there's a train heading straight towards me. You were what kept me stable—let me forgot the past I’m running from. I can stand this every day class thing because you take the pain away...even if you’re only my teacher,” I explained, shaking my head as I took in his distress.

  “You know what the real farce is?” he whispered as he pulled me into his arms. “That I’m only your teacher.”

  I let him kiss me; let the nights events wash away from my mind and let the shadows remain shadows. Tonight I would forget what I was running from even though it was closer than it had ever been, for I knew I was safe in his arms.

  Chapter 34

  I was nodding off to sleep wrapped in Tad’s arms when my cell phone began to ring. I ignored it at first, but then it continued. I grabbed it groggily.

  “Hello?”

  “Vera, you’re okay?” Jaz asked.

  Tad raised an eyebrow in suspicion at me.

  “Jaz,” I mouthed and he nodded his head. “I’m fine…did you see anything?”

  “No, no one did except the poor girl who found the body,” Jaz’s voice broke. “We don’t even know who the dead girl is.”

  “I found her Jaz…please don’t tell anyone,” I choked, trying to keep the images at bay. I finally felt I could trust her. I didn’t want to keep secrets from everyone any more.

  “W…who was it?”

  “I don’t know. I know she goes to our school, but I have no clue who she is.”

  “So Knightley came to your rescue then? That’s the only detail that squeezed out—that Knightley came to the girl, well you, when the body was found...was it awful?” she asked, and her voice was laced with genuine worry.

  “It was tough. It’s hard to get a grasp on what happened tonight,” I said thinking, again, it happened again.

  “It must have been nice to have Knightley save you…tell me how his arms felt when he wrapped them around you to keep you from looking at the body?” Jaz cooed, her voice suddenly velvet at the thought of him.

  “Yes, it was nice to have Knightley there to save me and his arms feel very strong,” I replied with a smirk as I kissed his forearm lightly.

  “I can only dream about it,” Jaz sighed. “I’m glad you're okay Vera, and I won’t tell anyone it was you.”

  “Thanks Jaz.”

  I turned the phone on vibrate and tossed it on the table before snuggling back into Tad’s chest.

  “Do they feel good around you?” he whispered, his breath causing my skin to prickle.

  “Always.”

  He kissed my bare neck. “Good because I’m never letting go.”

  Chapter 35

  “Who here believes Grendel is evil and deserves his fate?” Tad questioned the silent class. “Raise your hands. Okay, now who here believes that Grendel is misunderstood and only does as he has been taught?” I was the only one to raise my hand, so Tad continued, “Vera, why is that?”

  “I read both Beowulf and Grendel. So I see both sides,” I replied.

  “How many of you have read Grendel?” Tad asked, and no one raised their hands.

  “Why did you read Grendel?” Jaz probed as she turned to face me.

  Tad’s face grew red.

  “A friend suggested that if I were to read Beowulf I should read the contemporary Grendel, so I could see both points of view and develop my own thoughts on it,” I answered, watching as Tad’s face relaxed.

  “Smart friend,” Tad remarked.

  “Very,” I seconded, and Jaz turned back around.

  The intercom beeped, but I still had my eyes locked on Tad. “Abigail Martin, please report to the principal’s office immediately.”

  I jumped at the sound of my name and sent the coffee that had been sitting on my desk half-consumed skittering to the floor.

  “Class dismissed,” Tad ordered as he watched me begin to tremble.

  “But we still have like five minutes?” Brad reminded him.

  “I said class dismissed,” Tad now shouted.

  The students shrugged and got up, walking around the spilt coffee.

  “Nice mess, Vera,” Lily sniped, her lips turned in an evil smile.

  “Sorry Mr. Knightley,” I said, staring uselessly at my mess. My whole body was frozen in fear.

  “I’ll help you. I said class dismissed, what don’t you get about that, Brad?” Tad snapped at the student staring at me.

  Tad fumbled under his desk for paper towels before going to shut the door behind Brad. I shook my head at him to keep it open; there was no reason to raise more suspicion. He shook his head, looking at the ground before letting go of the handle so that the door swung back open.

  “What the hell was that?” Tad asked, his tone hushed, but still hardened

  “I said sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about this mess, you seem really upset. It’s just your name...no one knows it’s you.” Tad picked up the empty foam cup and swiped the coffee spill up as I stood.

  “That’s it—it’s my name. You think the cops are stupid enough to announce my real name when I told them I was in witness protection?”

  “To be honest with you,” Tad began as he dumped the soaked paper towels in the trash, “yes.”

  “If it is them, than everyone knows that someone here is Abigail Martin. If the murderer is here, then they also know I’m here…” my voice drifted off as the words I had spoken sank into both of us.

  “Shit.”

  “I’m scared Tad, it’s like all my fears are coming true…soon I’ll be dead,” I whispered as my eyes blurred. The panic was slowly creeping into the edges of my brain. There was no logic to this.

  “Those—I’m going to give them a piece of my mind,” Tad hissed, his hands tangled in the hair on the back of his head and his forehead wrinkled in obvious anxiety.

  “If it was them…”

  “You should go home, you’re really shaken,” Tad demanded more than suggested as his face contorted in anger and fear.

  “I don’t really feel safe there?”

  Tad fiddled with his key chain and handed me the key.

  “What’s this for?” I asked.

  “Go to my apartment. I have an alarm system there. Will you feel safer then?”

  “Are you serious? You’re probably already going to get in trouble for letting the class leave early and then letting me leave all together?” I shook my head.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll say you dropped your coffee because you were light headed, and I sent you home because you seemed ill. Simple,” Tad explained with a tense shrug. I knew that nothing was ever that simple, but I was too weak to fight it.

  “Thanks Tad.”

  “Get going,” he ordered, nodding over his shoulder.

  I looked over my shoulder as I headed in the opposite direction of the principal’s office, which was exactly where Tad was headed, his shoulders tight and hands in his back pockets. He had to know, as much as I did, that there
was no where that was safe for me anymore.

  Chapter 36

  “Abbi…Abbi…”my mother was saying, but I couldn’t see her. I was in the woods, somewhere damp and dreary with moss clinging to the trees towering above me. I walked towards her voice, my heart beating harder and harder with each step.

  “Abbi…Abbi, my bunny…come join us…” my father’s voice echoed off the trees as sweet and strong as I remembered it. I could feel tears in my eyes, but I didn’t care as I rushed forward towards the sound of his voice as he said, “My bunny…come join us…”

  In an instant I was falling forward into the darkness and when I looked up I was in a flat clearing. The trees were gone and the sun was shining.

  “My bunny…” my dad whispered, holding out his hand. His hand, oh, God.

  I fell backwards, crawling away as my eyes took in the horrendous sight before me. They were standing there; my father’s arm behind my mother’s back so pale that I could almost see all their veins pulsing with blood. My body trembled as crimson liquid began to drip from their mouths, shimmering a hard red against the ashen skin and pink veins. My father’s eyes narrowed.

  “Bunny, don’t you want to join us?” his voice became demonic, deep and demanding. “Don’t you miss us?” He ran forward, a blur of pastel light, and in the background I saw my mother. Her smile was the devil as her fangs visible to me, dripping with crimson liquid.

  “Daddy! No!” I screamed, but all I could see was the flashing teeth coming to suck the life out of me.

  “Vera! Vera!” Someone shook me awake.

  I sat up trembling and soaked with sweat in Tad’s arms. My breath came out in whooshes, and I pulled myself closer to him.

  “You scared the crap out me. I could hear you screaming from outside, and I thought…” I looked up to see him closing his eyes to gain composure before he spoke again. “Your parents—?”

  I nodded my head, and he moved to lie down next to me as he pulled me into his arms and kissed my head.