In a Broken Dream (The Broken Series Book 4)

by Ruff, K. S.

  We paused just outside the garage. “What brings you to Shirlington?” Kadyn inquired as his warm brown eyes sought mine.

  “Cenia asked me to meet her here for lunch. She said she had something important she needed to talk to me about.”

  Kadyn’s eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch before a smile tugged at his lips. “Roger asked me to meet him at the Carlyle Grand for lunch. He said he needed to talk to me, but he wouldn’t reveal the reason over the phone.”

  I chuckled softly as we began walking toward the Carlyle Grand. “That’s where I’m supposed to meet Cenia. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  Kadyn laughed. “They’ve finally gotten engaged.” His hand brushed the small of my back as we crossed the street.

  “I wonder if they’ve invited the rest of the gang,” I mused aloud. I surveyed the wicker tables and chairs sitting outside the restaurant. “It doesn’t look like they’re sitting outside.”

  “No one in their right mind would be sitting outside on a day like today,” Kadyn noted sourly. “It’s ninety-eight degrees with nearly a hundred percent humidity.” He swiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm.

  I laughed at Kadyn’s pained expression, although the humidity was no joke. Walking through the heavy haze was like trudging through quicksand.

  Jase paused outside the Carlyle Grand’s revolving door. “After you,” he offered politely.

  “Thanks, Jase.” The cool, air-conditioned restaurant beckoned goose bumps as I pushed through the door.

  “Over here!” Cenia exclaimed from somewhere nearby. She waved her hand in the air in an effort to capture my eyes.

  “What’d I tell you?” Kadyn whispered as he leaned his head toward mine. Cenia’s left hand was glittering, the engagement ring clearly visible in the sun drenched room.

  “You’re engaged!” I burst out when we neared the table. I threw my arms around her when she stood.

  Kadyn shook Roger’s hand before pulling Cenia in for a hug. “Congratulations. I’m very happy for you.”

  I hugged Roger before flagging down a waitress. “Can we pull up a fifth chair?”

  “Sure,” she responded cheerily. She grabbed a vacant chair from a nearby table and plopped it in front of us.

  “Cenia, Roger, this is Jase. He’s my new bodyguard. He works for Rafael,” I explained.

  Roger shook Jase’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Jase.”

  “Nice to meet you, Roger. Congratulations on your engagement,” Jase replied amicably. He reached for Cenia’s hand. His eyes lit with surprise when she gave him a hug instead.

  “Thanks for watching over my friend,” Cenia said. “Did Rafael assign Jase to protect you because of what happened in Ukraine?” Cenia asked me as we settled in at the table.

  I frowned. “Yes, but I don’t want to talk about Ukraine. I want to hear how Roger proposed. I want to know if you’ve set a date and how I can help you prepare for this wedding.”

  Cenia and Roger exchanged glances as the waitress stopped by for our drink orders. She handed Jase, Kadyn, and me menus. Cenia and Roger already had menus and drinks.

  Roger waited until after the waitress left to reveal how he’d proposed. “We were having sex in the church parking lot,” he began.

  Cenia popped him alongside the head. “We were not!”

  Kadyn, Jase, and I burst out laughing.

  Roger’s eyes sparked mischievously. “Were too,” he whispered, winking at me.

  “Roger proposed to me after church,” Cenia explained. “We were not having sex.”

  “You’re no fun,” Roger grumbled irritably.

  Cenia pretended not to hear him. “We were sitting in my SUV, getting ready to leave, when he declared his undying love and pulled out the ring.”

  “You did good with the ring,” I assured Roger, reaching for Cenia’s hand. The center stone glittered more than any other diamond I’d seen. It was flanked on either side by two smaller but equally brilliant diamonds, which were tucked inside the platinum band.

  Cenia smiled. “Roger wouldn’t allow me to answer him when he proposed. He said he wanted me to meet his family first, so I’d know what I was getting myself into. He held onto the ring the whole time we were in Tennessee. I didn’t give him my answer until last Sunday. Since he proposed in the church parking lot, I thought it best to give him my answer there. Instead of voicing my response, I gave him this little fill-in-the-blank book I purchased that was entitled I love you because... I filled in the blanks, popped in a few photographs of the two of us, and wrote: ‘Yes, I will marry you,’ on the very last page.”

  “That is so sweet,” I gushed.

  “That’s when we had sex in the parking lot,” Roger clarified.

  “Roger!” Cenia exclaimed. “We did not have sex in the church parking lot!”

  Roger glanced at the couple sitting at the table across from us. “She can’t keep her hands off me,” he explained.

  The waitress set a mango martini in front of me before handing Jase and Kadyn their sodas. “Have you decided what you’d like to eat?” she asked, completely oblivious to the trouble Roger was stirring up.

  “I’d like the mango chicken salad,” I replied, stifling my laugh.

  “Make that two mango chicken salads,” Cenia corrected.

  “Bacon cheeseburger, medium well,” Kadyn said.

  “I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger, well done,” Roger replied.

  “Same for me,” Jase announced.

  “Wow. You guys certainly made that easy on me,” the waitress noted with a warm laugh. She gathered our menus before walking away.

  “To Cenia and Roger, lifelong friendship, and love,” I announced, raising my martini glass.

  “To Cenia and Roger,” Kadyn and Jase chimed in. We clinked our glasses together before raising them to our lips.

  Cenia’s eyes met mine as we set the drinks aside. “I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, with everything that happened in Ukraine, so I completely understand if you aren’t up for this, Kri, but I was really hoping you’d be my maid of honor.”

  Kadyn gave my hand a gentle squeeze underneath the table.

  My heart clenched. I was already reminiscing about Michael’s proposal and the wedding we’d been planning, but I really wanted to be there to support Cenia. I had to believe that the joy I’d feel in seeing her marry Roger would outweigh the pain caused by my loss. Tears pooled in my eyes. “Of course, Cenia. I would be honored to be in your wedding.”

  Cenia skirted the table and gave me a hug. “Thank you, Kri. We are going to have so much fun, just you wait and see!”

  The waitress returned with our food a few minutes later. She set the mango chicken salads in front of Cenia and me before handing Kadyn, Jase, and Roger their bacon cheeseburgers.

  I swiped a French fry from Kadyn’s plate. He caught my hand mid-air and forced it to his mouth so he could eat the fry. “Kadyn!” I exclaimed indignantly.

  Jase laughed before offering me one of his fries.

  “Thanks, Jase,” I replied. I gave Kadyn a smug look and popped the fry inside my mouth.

  Kadyn just rolled his eyes.

  Roger waited for the theatrics to die down before narrowing his attention to Kadyn. “I asked you here for the same reason. I’d like you to be my best man.”

  Kadyn grinned. “I’d be honored, Roger. Have you guys set a date, yet?”

  Roger nodded. “November seventh.”

  The smile fell from my face. “Of this year?” I exclaimed. “Are you guys insane? That’s less than three months away!”

  Cenia laughed. “Don’t worry. My mom’s got most of this covered. We just need to pick out invitations, a dress, the tux, Roger’s ring, and a cake. I’ve got a whole slew of aunts and cousins who’ll be helping my mom manage the rest.”

  “Where are you getting married?” I asked, digging into the salad.

  “McAllen, Texas,” Cenia replied, stabbing a chunk of mango with her fork.


  “McAllen, Texas? I was just in McAllen, meeting with their border patrol agents and customs officers. I didn’t realize your parents live that close to the border,” Kadyn confessed.

  “How are you liking your new job with Customs and Border Protection?” Roger asked. He sank his teeth into his burger while waiting for Kadyn to respond.

  “So far, so good,” Kadyn replied. “I’ve been traveling a lot, trying to familiarize myself with the security needs of the various sectors along the southern border, but I’ll make sure CBP doesn’t schedule any trips the week of your wedding.”

  “When do you want to shop for dresses?” I asked Cenia while the guys continued to discuss work.

  Cenia tucked a strand of gleaming black hair behind her ear. “I’ve made an appointment at David’s Bridal for next Saturday. Can you join me?”

  “Sure,” I replied over the top of my drink.

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Don’t you need to look at your calendar… make sure you don’t have anything else scheduled?”

  “Are you kidding me? I’d reschedule anything that might conflict. I’m not missing this,” I replied emphatically.

  Cenia exhaled softly. “Good, because I’ve heard this place can get a little crazy.”

  “How crazy can it be?” I asked. “Everyone’s giddy with love, excited to be searching for that perfect dress…”

  Cenia’s eyes widened. “Maybe you should watch Bridezillas before we jump into the mosh pit.”

  * * * * *

  “How’d your lunch date go with Cenia?” Rafael asked. The muscles in his shoulders and arms rippled as he climbed into bed. We were staying at my place tonight.

  I set my Kindle on the nightstand. “Good. Roger and Cenia are getting married in November. She asked me to be her maid of honor.”

  Rafael motioned for me to roll over. “Who’s the best man?” he asked. He straddled my hips as I rolled onto my stomach. He shoved my camisole up and began massaging my back.

  I moaned as I sank into the pillows. “You are,” I mumbled, thoroughly enjoying the massage.

  Rafael laughed. “I’m Roger’s best man?”

  My eyes popped open. “No, of course not. Roger asked Kadyn to be the best man. Roger and Kadyn were there today when Cenia and I met for lunch.”

  Rafael massaged a little deeper as he worked a knot out of the tissue that ran between my shoulder and neck. “November isn’t very far off.”

  “No,” I agreed. “Sounds like Cenia’s mom has it all under control though. She’s already reserved the priest and the hotel. Cenia and I are going dress shopping next weekend. I’m going to help her address invitations the weekend after that. Then she and Roger will head to McAllen to choose a wedding cake and firm up the menu for the reception.”

  “They’re not getting married in Virginia?” he asked, kneading between my shoulder blades.

  “No. They’re getting married in the gardens of some fancy hotel in McAllen, Texas… Casa de Palmas… I think…” My voice drifted sleepily. “Keep this up, and I won’t need a sleeping pill.”

  Rafael chuckled. “That would be my goal.”

  “Kadyn and I are going to be dancing,” I confessed warily.

  Rafael’s hands stalled. He pressed his thumbs into my lower back when he resumed the massage. “I figured as much, since you’re both in the wedding party.”

  I rolled over to look at him. “No. I mean, we’re taking ballroom dancing lessons with Cenia and Roger. Roger refused to do it unless Kadyn agreed to suffer through it too. Cenia’s got her heart set on dancing a waltz for their first dance as husband and wife, so I’ve agreed to be Kadyn’s partner for the dance lessons. We’ve got a standing appointment for the lessons, every Thursday night, although we won’t be starting for a couple of weeks.”

  Rafael groaned as he collapsed onto the pillows. “I know you’re not asking me to share you with Kadyn again.”

  I sat up and peered down at him. “No. I’m not asking to date Kadyn again. We’re just enrolling in dance lessons for the wedding reception.”

  Rafael shook his head. “Still, you’ll be in another man’s arms. First Michael, then Kadyn, then Maxim, now Kadyn again. When does this end?” he grumbled irritably.

  “It’s not like that,” I insisted. My breath caught as Rafael pinned me to the bed. He was suddenly straddling my hips again. Both of my wrists were clenched in his hands, my arms locked over my head. “What are you doing?” I gasped.

  “I’m only human, Kristine. A man can only take so much,” he warned, anger flashing in his soft brown eyes. “I’m done sharing, Kristine. You’re mine. You don’t belong in anyone else’s arms.”

  His long dark hair formed a curtain around our faces as he leaned forward to kiss me. My pulse quickened when his lips captured mine. He let the full weight of his body settle on top of me. He released my wrists and clutched either side of my face, angling my head while his tongue swept possessively through my mouth.

  Fear shot through me as he nudged my legs apart and settled his hips against mine. I broke the kiss. “Rafael, I can’t,” I protested breathlessly. My body was pinging with desire, but I was too scared to take this any further. I’d felt Rafael harden against me. I could feel his need, his desire, and frustration as he sought to restore this part of our relationship, but I wasn’t ready to go there. I was terrified it might hurt, worse yet that I wouldn’t be able to feel anything after what the SVR had done to me.

  “Kristine,” he groaned as his lips trailed down my neck. “Your doctor said it would be fine. I promise I won’t hurt you. I’ll go slow. I’ll stop if it hurts.” He nipped at my breast through the fine silk camisole before lifting the top and capturing my breast in his mouth.

  I scrambled to pull my camisole back down. “No! I’m not ready. I’m not ready for this.” My body was already shutting down. The fear that had been snaking through my mind had finally seeped into my blood, shutting every last nerve ending off.

  Rafael rolled onto his back and pulled me into his arms as I began crying. “Shhhh. Baby, it’s okay. Please don’t cry. We don’t have to do this tonight. We can wait until you’re ready. I didn’t mean to push you. It’s just… it’s been two months. I thought you would be okay with this.”

  I began crying even harder. “I’m not okay, Rafael. I’m never going to be okay.”

  Chapter 2 – A sky full of stars

  “Hey, Shae,” I greeted, glancing up from my cell phone.

  “Hi, Kri… Jase,” she replied. She joined us in front of Dr. Sandstrom’s office. “I can’t believe summer semester ends next week,” she marveled, leaning against the wall.

  “I know. If I hadn’t started working on those courses when I was in Saint-Tropez, there’s no way I would have gotten all those research assignments done. How are you coming along on your final papers?”

  Shae lifted her shoulders in a delicate shrug. “Good. I’m almost done. I would have been in a world of hurt if Paul hadn’t extended that sabbatical from work. Are you going to continue working at Seeds for Peace?”

  I sighed softly. “I haven’t decided yet. Rafael thinks I should just focus on my coursework, but there’s this part of me that really hates the idea of letting evil people rob me of the opportunity to do some good with that job. It’s like I’m letting the SVR steal another part of me.”

  “Speaking of which,” she whispered softly. “Have you…”

  I glanced nervously at Jase. He was talking to Chance, one of the bodyguards Rafael had assigned to Shae.

  I edged closer to Shae. “No. Every time we’ve tried, my brain shuts everything down. I can’t handle the thought of anyone or anything touching that part of me.”

  Shae nodded. “That’s exactly how I feel, not that I’ve had much opportunity to do anything with Konstantin in Ukraine.”

  “When’s the last time you talked to him?” I glanced toward Dr. Sandstrom’s office as the door swung open.

  Shae pushed away from the wall a
nd took a step toward the office. “Two nights ago. He’s supposed to call again tonight.”

  Our classmate, Michelle, strode out of Dr. Sandstrom’s office. “Hey, Kri. Hi, Shae. I’m looking forward to that personal risk seminar in October. Let me know if you need any help.”

  “Thanks, Michelle,” Shae and I replied. We ducked inside Dr. Sandstrom’s office. Michelle continued walking down the hall. Chance and Jase remained standing in the hallway.

  Dr. Sandstrom rose from his desk to shake our hands. “Well, if it isn’t my two favorite students,” he greeted with a sparkle in his eyes.

  I laughed. “Dr. Sandstrom, you say that about all your students.” Shae and I settled into the chairs next to his desk.

  He chuckled softly as he dropped back into his chair. “Yes, but I truly mean it with the two of you. How is the seminar coming along?”

  “Good,” Shae opined. She handed him a copy of the agenda. “This is a rough draft of the agenda. We’ve already begun writing lecture notes. We’ll begin developing the other training materials once you’ve signed off on the agenda.”

  I glanced at Dr. Sandstrom. “I’ve lined up two guest speakers. My friends, Kadyn and Cenia, have agreed to review parts of their SERE training from the Air Force Academy. Both have recently separated from the Air Force. Kadyn works at Customs and Border Protection now. Cenia’s working at the Department of Defense in some position she’s not at liberty to discuss.”

  Dr. Sandstrom nodded. “I think the Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape Training they offer in the military will dovetail nicely into what we are trying to do. Military men and women face a lot of the same risks that peacekeepers do. That’s a well-thought strategy, Ms. Stone. I’m happy to hear you’re including guest speakers who can offer both the male and female perspective.”

  “I think the most difficult part of this seminar will be opening up to our classmate about what happened to Kri and me, but we both agree we should share those experiences. When our classmates hear the dilemmas, the risks, and the torture we faced, I think they’ll have a much better understanding of the risks they’ll be up against in international peacekeeping,” Shae confessed.