To Love in Peace: 10th Anniversary Edition

by Kathleen Bird

  She sniffed. “It wasn’t your fault. Michael wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “That still doesn’t give you the right to argue like that in front of the men.”

  “Well…” she stopped. “You’re right.”

  “And if there’s a problem between you and Michael, you need to solve it.”

  “There’s no problem! Who said there was a problem?”

  Edwin looked at her with one eyebrow raised. She sighed. “It’s not his problem…it’s mine.”

  “You need to solve whatever it is.”

  She stood up and walked away from him.

  “Katherine, Your Majesty.”

  “Please go away, Edwin.”

  “But…”

  She turned to face him with tears streaming down. “I can’t solve it in a moment. Please leave me alone for awhile.”

  “What do you want, Adam?”

  Adam said nothing but continued to stand beside Michael. Michael pounded his fist on the tree. “She wouldn’t listen to me! Who gave her the authority to talk to me like that?”

  “Her father.”

  Adam’s wisdom was infuriating. “Well, I’m the king.”

  “Not yet you aren’t.”

  Michael glared. Adam spoke, “When we reach her people, she will be in charge, not you. That’s weighing heavily on her; just give her a chance.”

  “She’s had her chance. She won’t trust anyone.”

  “Now who are we talking about? Katherine or you?”

  Michael sat on the ground. The wind whipped his hair around his face and blew leaves into his beard. The scraps he called clothing chilled him to the bone as temperature dropped. He sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I don’t know her. Maybe I never have.”

  Quietly, Adam sat down beside him. His face was full of contemplation. After a long while, he spoke. “I think you know her better than she knows herself.”

  “That can’t be true. I spend more time talking to you than I do her!”

  “Katherine’s hurting. How would you feel if you waited for months and months to hear from a father you adored and who suddenly is gone? What would you do if you were told in the same breath that your father was dead, and you were queen? How would you deal with seeing your father lying dead on the battlefield?”

  Michael held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, Adam. I get the point. But none of that is my fault.”

  “It’s not her fault either, but she thinks it is.”

  “Is that all it is? She’s blaming herself for things out of her control?”

  Adam nodded. The wind blew the first hint of frost in their faces. Leaves rustled in the trees and danced along the ground. The more brittle ones broke into minute pieces.

  With that, Michael stood to his feet with grim determination on his face.

  He marched through the men resting around the fire and past the trees on the outskirts of camp. Adam winked at Edwin as they watched Michael marching along. But when he reached the edge of camp and saw Katherine sitting on the ground, he stopped and leaned against a tree. The wind was blowing her hair and revealing her tearstained face. The braid had long ago come undone, allowing her blond hair to blow in all directions. Her arms wrapped around her knees and pulled them closer to her body; her sword lay discarded on the grass, not too close and not too far from reach either.

  Michael gathered his strength and marched onward. She barely glanced at him. Mustering what little courage he had, he sat down beside her. Nothing was said. The two simply looked at the trees seeming to grow on the horizon forever.

  “None of this is your fault.” Michael’s voice was very quiet and gently reassuring.

  “Yes, it is.” Her tone wasn’t argumentative, simply stating a fact.

  “Only if you let it be.”

  “How is it not my fault?”

  “You didn’t kill your father.”

  Silence. A tear slipped down her cheek.

  “I mean…you would have stopped him if you could…”

  “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop the war. I couldn’t stop him…I couldn’t save him…I…I couldn’t save him.”

  “It isn’t your job to save people. It’s God’s.”

  “I couldn’t save you…or Adam…or any of the men…”

  He was losing her. Michael reached over and took her hand. “But you didn’t have to.”

  Katherine looked at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, your sword. You didn’t do that, did you?”

  She shook her head and picked up her sword to study it. “No, I remember feeling angry because they were chasing us. And I picked up my sword, but then there was a flash and someone grabbed me…Then we were running away; and I don’t remember any more.”

  “The point is: you didn’t save us. God did. He just so happened to use the sword in your hand.”

  “But…”

  He pulled her closer. “No buts. God saved us. It had nothing to do with you.”

  She flung her arms around him. Her tears dripped onto his hair and his neck. The sobs were muffled in his shoulder. Then suddenly, she stopped.

  “Katherine...Katherine...Is everything okay?”

  He pulled back to look at her. The tears were still falling down her cheeks and onto her dress, but her face was filled with a look of ecstasy.

  “Michael!” She stood up quickly and started to run away. He grabbed her hand.

  “Katherine! What are you do…?” He saw what she saw.

  In the distance, silhouetted against the sunset with its oranges and yellows and purples and pinks…was the castle. The flag of Adven flew from every tower. Faintly, he could hear the neighing of horses and the crying of babies.

  Chapter Ten

  Katherine’s feet were fairly flying. Home was within sight! She could almost feel the baby within her jumping for joy, or maybe that was just her upset stomach. The men were staring at her, but as she raced through the camp Adam and Edwin were motioning for the others to follow. And so, they found themselves all running through the forest toward their final destination: the castle. Michael had finally caught up with his wife, and so they both ran side by side.

  It had been too long. Katherine’s god must not have heard him either. Every day, Eli would sneak into her room and pray behind the secret wall. He even stopped offering sacrifices to the other gods because he thought Katherine’s god might become jealous; but nothing he had done seemed to work. The war still dragged on, more knights were returning home to find no end in sight and no leader to finish what had been started, and Katherine was still nowhere to be found. With each new face, he questioned and begged and pleaded and hoped to hear word from her but still nothing.

  As was his usual habit, he had gone into her room, pleaded with her god, and then walked out on her balcony to look at the road. Every afternoon it was the same, and today would be no different. He would wait a few minutes to watch the coming and going, what little there was, and then return to his usual duties.

  Out on the road, he saw some bedraggled peasants running up to the castle. He could hear them laughing and shouting. They were dirty, as though they had been running all night. This late in the day, the gates would certainly be locked. Perhaps he should go down and let them in, just to hear what news they might have.

  Eli walked slowly down the hallways. He nodded politely to the women tidying up the rooms and the cooks in the kitchen making dinner. The warriors were repairing some weapons in the courtyard; and the stable boys were taking care of the horses. But to his surprise, there was quite a commotion at the gate.

  “Please, you must let us in!” a man’s voice was calling. He sounded exhausted. “My wife…”

  “Let me speak to Eli! Let me speak to Eli!” The woman’s voice was excited and high pitched; it sounded familiar.

  The warrior at the gate was motioning Eli to come to him. Clearly, he was uncertain what to do with such an enthusiastic bunch of strangers arriving after the gate had closed.

  “L
et them in,” Eli said with a dismissive wave in the guard’s direction, “Perhaps they have some news.”

  Quickly, the gates were opened, and the visitors poured in. They were all men, plus one woman. Clothes were ragged and torn, looks were just as ragged. They were all undernourished and thin. The woman was standing next to what must have been her husband, the leader clearly by the way the others watched. She was talking excitedly and asking for him, Eli.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Eli!” The woman’s blond hair flew around her face as she rushed to hug him. “I’ve come back! I have so much to tell you. I…” She paused to look at his face before embracing him, suddenly noticing his lackluster reaction. “You don’t recognize me?” She shifted the sword at her waist nervously.

  Eli thought for a long time before answering. “Who are you?”

  Her face fell. “It’s me. Katherine?”

  “Katherine?” He studied her face. The eyes were the same. The voice. The tousled hair. It really was…

  “Katherine!” He threw his arms around her and swung her around. Every gray hair on his head stood up in happiness. “Where have you been? Oh nevermind, it doesn’t matter. You’re here!”

  Michael stood by Adam and Edwin, quietly watching the scene unfold. When she had satisfied her happiness, Katherine turned back to them.

  “Eli, there are a few people you should meet.” She gestured to each man as she spoke. “This is Adam, and Edwin, both have been of great help to me these past few months. And this is Michael.” She slipped her hand in his and turned to face her mentor, desperate longing for approval clear in her expression. “My husband.”

  Eli stood in silent shock. “Your husband?”

  She nodded, waiting silently for his response. Michael waited before responding. Adam and Edwin simply smiled.

  “You went off and got married?” His long-withheld frustration released in one frightening moment. “I have been waiting for months for you to return home and responsibly lead your people while you ran away and married some vagrant in the forest instead!”

  Adam frowned and prepared to fight. It felt odd for the rest of the men to watch so helplessly, with no weapons, while their king was ridiculed. Edwin fidgeted and glanced at his newfound friends. He had just escaped from fighting a war; did he have to start another so soon?

  Michael turned his head and put out his hand. His slight movement held back the more fidgety of the men, but they were still anxious to defend their king’s honor. He then turned to Katherine. Would she stand and watch this man slander her honor as well?

  She extended her hands in a pleading gesture, begging for understanding. “Eli, I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed to rule the kingdom like you wanted me to; but I’m here now! I’ve come back to do what is right. God protected me and…”

  Eli interrupted, furious at her halfhearted explanation. “Protected you? Yes, you are alive, but you are dead to me. You know the expectations of a queen; she is to marry someone of high royal blood. That man is to be responsible, honorable, and a good leader. A man wandering through the forest cannot have any of those qualities. As for these others…” He waved his hand at the other men. “They can be no better. I am grateful for your life; it would have been too much for Ralyn to lose both father and sister in the same space of time. And yet, she still has lost something…” Quickly he turned and walked off. He didn’t say a word or turn back to give other directions, no final good-bye.

  Katherine’s eyes were full of tears. The man she respected most, other than her father, had just disowned her. What had happened to this place? What had happened to the people she cared most about? What have I done?

  Michael put his arm around her. He felt like he had let her down. “Perhaps we should have waited. This is my fault entirely; I shouldn’t…”

  She shook her head fiercely, letting the loose blond strands fall into her face to cover the tears wanting to explode. “No, I wouldn’t want it any other way. You are responsible, and honorable, and a good leader. Eli, will learn to trust you; just like I trust you.”

  Michael pulled her into an embrace, and a cheer rose up from the men. Yes, they had expected a better reception, but they were still here. Safe and finally home.

  The door creaked a little, but not as much as she’d expected. Perhaps someone had been in here recently. Her mother’s eyes looked down at her, welcoming her home. Katherine knew that she, at least, would have been proud of her. She had found her father and given him a formal burial. She had found a man who loved her and would protect her and Adven for the rest of her life. She had found a people who loved God just as much as she did, who would help her lead Adven to the new hope found in Him. Lastly, she had found herself. She had discovered who she was and what was important to her. Right now, Eli loving her again was her top priority. Unfortunately, she had absolutely no plan of action for how to rectify their current situation.

  Dust floated in the weak sunlight. The bright summer sunshine she had last seen in this room was long gone. Now winter was quietly sneaking in. That bought her some time before that madman of a chief returned to claim his war.

  Katherine sat down on her bed, causing more dust to fly. This place held so many memories. So many happy moments spent with her mother, her father, Ralyn, and Eli. But there was that last day. The last day she was here. The place now left a bittersweet taste in her mouth. Her father’s death had broken a part of her heart; and she wasn’t sure she could ever repair it.

  Sadness and sorrow overcame her calm mood. Overwhelmed, she collapsed on her childhood bed and sobbed.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  “Come in.”

  The door opened to a very plain chamber in the castle. The windows were covered so they blocked all sunlight. Various manuscripts and official papers were strewn across the floor and the bed and the night table. Michael tread very carefully across the floor, trying not to step on anything of value. A solemn form was slumped over the table. It was too quiet.

  Michael stopped to look back at the young servant boy who had led him to the room. The boy simply motioned him onward. Eli sat up slowly and looked with mournful eyes to see his visitor.

  “Get out.”

  No response.

  “What do you want? You’ve already stolen her away from me. I raised that girl like my own child!”

  “Eli, I’ve brought her back to you, to her home, to the whole kingdom.”

  “You kept her away for months! The war could have been lost by the time you brought her back.”

  “But it wasn’t. We have some new information that might be of use to you and the army as well.” Michael sighed and softened his tone to plead a final time. “Won’t you give me a chance?”

  Eli thought for a long moment and rubbed his long white beard. His eyes searched Michael’s looking for a clue or a hint as to his motives. When he found nothing to discourage him, he said, “What is your name?”

  “Michael, Prince of Suffrom.”

  Eli’s eyebrow rose in surprise and curiosity. “I know the King. He has no children, yet.”

  “I left Suffrom because I wanted nothing to do with the God that the rest of my family loved. When the people on the far outreaches of Adven found me and kept me alive, I thanked them by renewing my faith in God. I became their king, and I never looked back to the life I had.” He took a step closer to Eli. His intensity was shown by the fire in his eyes. “Now I must. I know very little about Katherine’s life, and she knows very little about my own, but that must change. I love her.”

  “She doesn’t know that you are the prince of Suffrom?”

  He shook his head. “No one knows except you. I only told you because you’ve obviously been examining my bloodline.” His hand swept the papers thrown all over the room, and he met Eli’s eyes before saying, “I love Katherine; she has accepted me as I am. I simply hope you will too.”

  He turned around and walked out, leaving Eli in the empty darkness of his room, al
one.

  Katherine sat up when she heard the knock on her door. She brushed her hand across her eyes to wipe away the tears as Michael walked in. He sat down on the bed beside her.

  “Everyone’s settled. The gateman was very helpful.” Michael laughed. “He warned me not to worry about Eli. Said he really is very happy to see us.” He waited to see her reaction. She sniffed. “Adam and Edwin are making sure the rest of the men receive weapons and a good meal. Are you okay?”

  She sniffed and then nodded. “This was my room, before…before I left. I grew up here. I had no idea it would turn out this way.” She got up off the bed and opened the window. The crisp fall wind dropped the temperature immediately. Quickly, she closed the window again.

  Michael watched her as she moved around the room, touching hairbrushes and ribbons, trailing her hand across tables and chairs, and fondling old letters and memoirs. Her mind was far away as she relived her childhood. She beckoned to him as she felt along the far wall. He quickly got up and went to her side, following her lead and feeling along the wall. Suddenly, her hand went through a small gap. Katherine pulled hard to open the secret door, then grabbed Michael’s hand and pulled him in.

  “This is my prayer room, mine and Ralyn’s. Our mother told us about the One True God, told Father too.” She sat on the cushions along the wall. “He wouldn’t listen. We prayed for him day after day after day, but still he never listened.” She swiped at her eyes. The tears had returned. Michael sat down beside her; he didn’t say anything, just listened. “Then Ralyn married and Father went off to war, and it was just me…just me and Eli. He really did raise me after my mother died. I didn’t realize how much he cared…”

  Michael took her hand as she cried. “Where is your sister now?”

  “In Suffrom, with a baby on the way. She’ll be giving birth in just a few months, I believe.”

  “Does she know about your father?”

  “I’m sure Eli told her. I left the moment I heard. I didn’t stay to see what happened. Her husband’s a good man; Evan will take care of her.”