by Nikki Ashton
I turned the phone to Amy and she moved in closer, her head brushing against my shoulder as she did. As she peered down at the screen, I inhaled; her scent still familiar, still driving me crazy with need.
“Oh yes,” she cried. “It is. Wow that’s amazing, isn’t it?” Evidently forgetting herself, Amy grabbed my forearm and grinned up at me.
“It’s really cool,” I replied, trying to sound as excited as Amy was.
“It is.”
Her voice was wistful and as she continued to stare down at the screen, I watched her, trying hard not to take her ponytail in my hand, because just like my dad had described, my fingers were twitching to do so. I wanted to run my fingers through it, separating the strands like I used to. As we both looked down at the picture, the pain in my chest started again and I felt my throat tighten with the emotion of the moment.
“I’d better get going,” I eventually said around a swallow. “Here you go and give Matty and his girlfriend my best.”
Amy blinked her long lashes as she looked up at me while taking her phone from my hand.
“I will,” she whispered.
I gave her a smile and turned to leave, not trusting myself to not say something I might regret. As I reached the back door, Amy called out to me.
“Yeah,” I said, half turning back to her.
“It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”
I nodded, gave her a small smile, then left because it was all I could manage to do.
Amy
aged 21
Elijah had been acting strange all week and I was feeling worried about it. He’d been quiet, kept taking phone calls in the bedroom and had taken a day off sick from work, something he never did, especially as his boss at the garden centre was hateful and docked his pay even if he was a minute late, never mind that Elijah stayed late most nights. Feeling a sickly trepidation in my stomach, I tried to ask him if anything was wrong, but he’d told me I was imagining things.
“Do you think he’s seeing someone else?” I asked Rachel, my best friend.
She huffed down the line. “Get a grip, Amy. Elijah wouldn’t do that to you. He bloody worships the ground you walk on.”
“I know it seems that way, but what if-.”
“No!” she snapped. “There is no what if. He’s probably pissed off with work, that’s all. Didn’t you say his boss is a twat?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Well that will be it,” she sighed. “Now, tell me how your assignment went.”
We continued talking for another few minutes, and by the end of it I was feeling better about things. Until I got a text from Elijah saying that he wasn’t going to be able to make dinner with his parents and I should go along without him. He didn’t even answer me when I called him back to bemoan the fact that I didn’t want to go alone.
I liked his parents, but we didn’t have much of a relationship. I barely saw his mum as she was always away fighting some cause, and while his dad was lovely, we had very little in common. He loved gardening, which was where Elijah had gained his interest from, and rarely talked about much else.
Hence, it was with a sulky pout that I made my way over to the Coopers’ house, moaning and groaning to myself because even Sam had bailed on me, apparently he had work to do.
When I got there, the house appeared to be in darkness, except for the table lamp that they kept on in the porch and propped up against it was a note.
Amy – we’re in the garden, come around the back, Yvetta x
It was bloody dark, so what the hell were they doing in the garden? Still grumbling under my breath, I went around to the side of the house and opened up the gate and walked through. I couldn’t hear anyone in the darkness, but the lights that lit the path down to the bottom of their garden were all on.
Figuring that was probably where they were, I walked down quietly calling out.
“Yvetta, James, are you down here?”
Nobody answered, so I continued walking. As I reached the midpoint of the large garden, I heard a noise. It sounded like someone coughing and it was coming from the direction of the old shed. Wondering what on earth they were doing there, I strayed from the path and padded across the grass until I reached the hawthorn hedge. I stopped abruptly, as I saw a large glass jar with a candle flickering away inside it. I grinned, remembering a night a few years before when Elijah had turned the shed into a love nest for us for the night. Then a thought panicked me – what if his mum and dad were having sex in there too? Surely they wouldn’t have told me to meet them down here if they were. The thought was too gross to contemplate, so I was almost about to turn back when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from Elijah.
Elijah: Keep walking x
Frowning, I looked up from the screen, looked at the path, at the jar, and then back to my phone. It buzzed again.
Elijah: I’m waiting at the best five star hotel you’ve ever stayed in x
It took a moment, but then it dawned on me. I needed to carry on to the shed. A huge grin enveloped my face as I took another couple of steps forward and saw another lantern and candle, in fact there were a few of them, creating a pathway to the shed which had seen one of the best nights of my life. I walked a few more steps and then as I approached the shed, the door opened to cast light over Elijah standing in the doorway.
He was wearing a pair of grey trousers, black shoes, and a black shirt with the collar open and the sleeves rolled back. His hair was combed and he was wearing the hugest smile I’d ever seen on his handsome face.
“Hey,” he whispered, as I got close enough to hear him. “You made it then.”
I nodded and put my hand in his which he was holding out to me. “I thought I was going to catch your mum and dad doing something that might scar me for life,” I said with a giggle.
“Why on earth would you think that?” he laughed, pulling me closer.
I shrugged. “Because she left me a note to meet them in the garden and when I saw the candles, I thought maybe I’d stumbled on a romantic tryst.”
“Well you kind of have, but it’s for me and you.”
Elijah’s voice broke a little and he suddenly looked wary, wiping a hand across his chest.
“Is this why you’ve seemed odd for the last few weeks?” I asked, cupping his cheek.
He blew out a breath and nodded. “Yep, kind of.”
“Aww, babe. That’s so lovely.” I leaned in and kissed him. “Thank you, oh and by the way, you look bloody hot as hell.”
Elijah gave me a tight smile and without saying anything pulled me into the shed. Once inside I gasped, it looked exactly as it had the night we’d stayed in there – the flowers and all the candles and fairy lights were exactly as they had been, even the lace curtain at the window looked familiar. The only difference was there was no bed.
“Eli, it looks just like that night.”
“I hoped you’d remember, because I do, every single part of it.”
I thought about how we’d lain awake most of the night, talking, laughing, and having sex until finally, as light started to seep through the window, we’d drifted off to sleep.
“It was perfect,” I sighed.
I looked over at the wild flowers and smiled. “Are they the same ones?” I asked.
“Pretty much.”
Elijah had bought me lots of wild flowers since that night, but while they were gorgeous, none had ever been as beautiful as that first bouquet. This one was pretty close though.
“It’s all amazing,” I replied, feeling a huge swell of love in my heart for him.
“There’s a reason I’ve done this,” Elijah said, taking a deep breath. “This place for all it’s a grotty little shed, holds some of my happiest memories with you, and I wanted my happiest memory to be here too.”
“You do?” I asked, frowning, wondering what he had planned, particularly as there was no bed in here this time.
Elijah nodded and put a hand into his pocket while still keepin
g a tight hold of mine with his other one. I watched him carefully and when he produced a small, square, purple, velvet box, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, the thudding in my chest increasing with every second that I stared at the box.
When he held it up in front of me, I felt my legs go to jelly.
When he let go of my hand and opened the box to reveal a gorgeous, square cut diamond, I felt the breath whoosh from my lungs.
“I love you, Amy,” he whispered, taking the ring from the box. “I think I loved you from the minute I saw you playing with that gorgeous hair of yours outside class. I know I’ve loved you since the day you bought me a new pair of gloves for our one month anniversary because mine had a hole in them and you were worried my hands were getting cold riding my bike to school. I also know that I was blind to every other female on this planet from our first date, where we had greasy pizza and I picked you up in Sam’s car and you never once complained about the smell of his musty swimming gear that’d he left on the back seat for days.”
Elijah put the box back in his pocket and held the ring between his thumb and forefinger, and as I watched him and saw his utter love and devotion for me in his eyes, I struggled to hold back the tears.
“Will you marry me?” he asked softly, his hand shaking as he took mine.
There was no doubt in my mind about my answer. Elijah was everything to me.
“I love you, Elijah,” I whispered. “And just so you know, I think I loved you from the minute you asked me out in class and weren’t embarrassed. I know I’ve loved you since I rang you crying just a day after our three week anniversary and told you, Hammy our hamster had died and you called at our house on the way to football with a cuddly hamster and a big bar of chocolate to cheer me up, and I have most definitely been blind to every male on this planet from the day you walked into class with your hair all sexily messed up and wearing that white t-shirt that showed off how bloody hot your body was even then, and when I smiled at you, you said ‘hi there gorgeous’.”
Elijah groaned. “What a knob.”
“No you weren’t,” I protested, linking our fingers together. “You were and still are perfect.”
“So is that a yes?” he asked.
I nodded vigorously and with a tear soaked grin, stuck out my hand and held my breath as Elijah slipped the ring onto my finger.
Once he had, I had mere moments to admire it before he dragged me against his chest and kissed me. It was a kiss that I’d always remember, because it was hot and sexy, but it was sweet and shy all at the same time. I wanted it to go on forever, I wanted us to stay in that shed, alone, forever, but no sooner had our breathing started to get heavy, the door burst open and both our families were there shouting their congratulations. At the back stood Alex, Lucas, Rachel, and Adam all grinning like idiots as Elijah and I got lost amidst the hugs and kisses.
It was the perfect proposal, from the most perfect man for me.
Amy
aged 28
I’d pretty much finished at the house. After weeks of hard work, the only thing I had left to do was dress the family room, and the thought of not seeing Elijah every day was filling me with sadness.
We’d started to chat over lunch of my final week, and he’d even brought in my favourite caramel latte for me one morning when he’d arrived later than everyone else. When we sat down to talk it was always light and non-confrontational, with no mention of our marriage or Lauren. Both were subjects that we silently agreed to avoid.
The gardens were looking good too, and although Elijah and his team still had another few weeks left to complete everything, we’d all agreed that we should go out for a drink to celebrate the end of the project. Which was why I was standing in Ziggy’s, a local club, with Rachel, trying to quell the nerves rolling around in my stomach.
“Will you stop,” Rachel grumbled, with a smile. “You’re making me nervous.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, thankful for the long-lasting red lipstick I was wearing. “I don’t know why I feel like this,” I replied. “He’s made it quite clear he’s moved on. I’ve been nothing short of a bitch to him up until a couple of weeks ago and it’s just a group night out.”
“Exactly.” Rachel placed a hand over my drumming fingers. “Take a deep breath and don’t expect anything. If something is meant to happen it will.”
“But I don’t even know if I forgive him, Rach, so why the hell am I feeling like this?”
Rachel sighed. “Because you never stopped loving him, despite what he might have done.”
I looked at her warily. “You never thought he’d slept with her, did you?”
“I don’t know, Amy,” she responded with a shrug. “It just wasn’t like him. He adored you and we all saw how pissed he was, do you really think he’d have been capable?”
I’d thought about that millions of times over the past five years, and while initially I’d been positive he had, now with a clearer mind, I wasn’t so sure. I’d seen him many times when he was drunk, hell I’d slept next to him, and sex was the last thing he was capable of. Yes, he’d give it a good go, but generally he’d collapse in a snoring stupor before he’d even got my bra off.
“You were in a really emotional place that night, so it’s no wonder your view was clouded.”
I held my breath thinking about it and the head space that I’d been in and the pain was so acute, I could have been back there, in that room, seeing them. I looked down at my drink, swirling the straw around it, wondering whether I should go home, move on to my next job, and try and forget Elijah again. Before I had chance to suggest it to Rachel, she poked my side.
“Got to say, Amy, he’s looking good.”
My head shot up and I looked in the same direction as Rachel. Elijah was walking toward us with Sam at his side and Marty, Bob, and Anthony following behind, and my breath was taken away. He looked sexier than I’d ever seen any man look. He wore a deep red Pretty Green polo shirt, dark jeans that fit him perfectly and best of all, all his amazing tattoos were on show. He gave me a dazzling smile as he sauntered to our table and it took everything in me not to run and wrap myself around him, just like I used to.
“Hey,” I said and then looked at Sam. “Hi, Sam.”
Sam nodded and looked over my shoulder to Rachel. “Rach.”
“Hi Sam,” she replied, clearing her throat, obviously sensing my discomfort that Sam had barely acknowledged me.
“You need another drink?” Elijah asked, half-turning toward the bar.
I shook my head. “I’m fine thanks.”
“We’ll be back in a few minutes.” Elijah smiled as he and Sam walked away.
As I watched him, Marty, Bob, and Anthony all smiled and waved from their place at the bar.
“I see Sam is still a moody sod,” Rachel grumbled, picking up her drink.
“I can understand why,” I replied. “I left his brother.”
“But surely he can understand why too. Stupid idiot.”
“Please Rach, it’s fine,” I sighed, glancing over at them as Marty leaned over the bar to shout their order to the barman. “Let’s just try and enjoy a couple of drinks with them and then we can go.”
Rachel nodded and pulled me into a side hug, giving me the support I was desperate for.
We’d had more than a couple of drinks with the guys and while Sam hadn’t exactly thawed around me, he was certainly being a little friendlier than when he’d first arrived. It still didn’t stop my stomach churning when we found ourselves alone – Marty, Bob, and Anthony having left to go and get an Indian take away, Rachel in the ladies and Elijah at the bar.
I looked around the club, trying to find something that I could appear to be interested in, but it was a sea of people dancing or drinking, nothing remarkable at all. It was such hard work trying to find something to fill the silence with, that I had decided I might escape to the loo myself when Sam finally spoke.
“It hurt us all you know,” he said, pushing his beer bot
tle into the middle of the table.
I turned to face him. “Sorry.”
“When you left without even talking to him; it hurt all of us. Mum and Dad were devastated, you were like a daughter to them, despite the fact that they never really showed you. I,” he said, poking a finger at his chest, “I lost my friend, so you didn’t only leave him, you left us all.”
My eyes dropped to the floor, examining my black studded ankle boots. I’d never, ever considered what my actions had done to everyone else; but had Elijah either?
“My family were gutted too, Sam,” I finally said, glancing over my shoulder to check Elijah wasn’t coming back. “What happened hurt them, especially Matty, he adored Eli.”
“He says he didn’t do it, Amy,” Sam breathed out, his tone a little softer than it had been. “And you know, knowing how he felt about you, how…well, let’s just say, I believe him.”
“I saw them, Sam,” I protested. “With my own eyes.”
He nodded. “I know, but I can’t help thinking that there was more to it. I doubt he could have held his head up, he was that pissed, never mind his cock.”
I couldn’t help but smile. It was typical of Sam to try and find some humour in any situation.
“It’s in the past,” I replied. “He’s moved on and he seems happy now.”
Recognising that fact hurt more than I cared to admit, but what did I expect, that he’d wait for me until I calmed down and decided to let him explain things?
Sam paused the beer bottle at his lips and shrugged. “And that remains to be seen, Amy.”
I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but knew it wasn’t my place. We were having a friendly drink to celebrate finishing what had been a busy few weeks working alongside each other, that was all this was and I had to accept that.
“Here you go.” A tattooed arm reached around me and placed a couple of drinks on the table.