My True Colours

by Hannah Francis

  I text Drew and ask him advice about the move and the cost of the rent over there, to give me a rough idea of how much things will cost. I do not want to tell him about Simon. Drew texts me with this information, and we reminisce about our dates together. He tells me he misses that. I remind him of our date in Australia. He replies that he is going out for dinner. It sounds as if he is going alone, but I don’t ask him to confirm it. I wonder where his partner is, and my gut instinct is that things are not working out for him. If they were, why would he be texting me and telling me he misses our times together? I know if I had to choose between Simon or Drew, it would be Drew; that is where my heart is. Several hours later, Drew texts me, telling me that he is home now and going to bed. He texts, “Goodnight, beautiful.” It’s morning here, but I wish him a goodnight. I have a date with Simon tomorrow and must put Drew out of my head. Simon does not need to know about him. It is not cheating because Drew is my friend, nothing more. I am not going to feel guilty about it. Sometimes what you don’t know can’t hurt you.

  A week later, I hear about my visa application from the lady at the migration company. She has sent it off for the final stage, which will take around twelve weeks. She has told me that every year the migration company lists the eligible locations that I will be allowed to apply for, depending on my occupation. I have the choice of three destinations: Northern Territory, South Australia, or Tasmania. I text Drew for advice and tell him I do not want to live anywhere tropical. He texts back the next day: Northern Territory is out, so I have to choose between SA and TAS.

  It takes me two days to decide where I am going to live. I chose Adelade because it is cooler there. Drew tells me that it is a great place to live and has a lot of British people living there. The lady at the migration company is sorting out working visas for the boys and finding me employment so that I do not have to worry about looking for work when I get there. I text Polly and Eric and then Jonah and Laura to tell them the news and get them to book holidays from work, to ensure they will be able to come. I have to keep enough money to pay for flights, visas, and insurances, as well as spending money. My budget is tight, but I think I will be able to manage it. I need the house to sell!

  A month later, I get some good news. I get an offer on the house, but it is below the asking price by five thousand pounds. I think about the offer for a few days before deciding to accept it. Now I need the tenant in the flat to pull her finger out and move out. Then I will be able to move in with the boys and sort things out. The salon has been taken over by the new owner, and he has decided to keep me on until I leave. This is good news for me because I still have an income.

  I am still dating Simon, and he is smitten. I care for him, but it’s not enough to keep me here. I am seeing him three times a week now and enjoy our nights together. We go to the pictures or out for meals, and then we go back to his place and stay up most of the night, talking. He is a nice man, and I will miss him. Simon tells me this is the happiest he has been in a long time, and then he adds that he loves me. I jokingly tell him that I will be dragging him on my leg across the airport runway as I am boarding the plane. He tells me to bugger off and calls me a cheeky cow! Still, we both worry that this is true.

  Time flies as I make all the arrangements to go away. Laura cannot get time off work. This means that Jonah will come alone, and they will return in the summer holidays to visit again when she has her annual holidays. I know I am being selfish, but I cannot give up Simon. |Drew texts me, and I reply when I am not with Simon. He is lonely; I can tell by the way he reminds me of our time together. I tell him that I miss him, and I mean it. They are two different men, and I am having completely different relationships with them.

  My customers are happy for me but sad to see me go. Most of them have become friends over the years. I will even miss the moany old regulars. I am leaving in three weeks Sophie is happy for me and plans to visit. Some of my friends have already decided they are going to visit me. I have joked that I will have to have a rota. Lorna hasn’t spoken about it. I know she is devastated, but I have to do this; for once, it’s about me. Andy was surprised but has taken it well. His advice was, “Don’t regret the things you do, but the things you don’t.” He wishes me luck and tells me to go for it. I am pleased that he is happy for us; it is a relief. I know he will miss me because Sophie and Lorna rarely visit him. I hope that my sisters will take the time to see him more often.

  The house sells, and I have moved into the flat. This is very handy for work. I have been able to clear the mortgage on the shop with the equity I gained on the sale of the house, leaving me with enough money to comfortably start my new life in Australia. It takes a full twelve weeks for the visas to arrive. Eligh has finally come to terms with the move and is willing to give it a try. I have had farewell nights out with family and friends for over a month. Simon hasn’t come because he is finding it hard to cope. He has suggested visiting and keeping our relationship long-distance. I have agreed to this to keep him happy, but I don’t think it will work. Secretly, I am relieved that he has children that are tying him to Britain, because I know otherwise he would be packing a bag and coming with me. The boys would not want that, and neither would I. I am doing this for a fresh start, and although I care for Simon, I always knew the relationship was not permanent for me. I feel selfish for thinking this way. Simon has been nothing but kind and caring to me, but he is not Drew.

  I have managed to get Lorna to come to terms with the move over the last week. I have included her in visits to see Jonah and Laura. While en route, we have had time to talk about me going away. She cries and confesses that not being able to have children has affected her over the years. If someone asks her if she would like a child now, the answer would be no, but now that she is going through menopause and has been told she can’t have them, and it is final, she is devastated. I remind her that when she had the chance to see about fertility treatment years ago, Derick would not consider it.

  I tell her that she only has one life and that she chose Derick over having a family. I remind her that she was happy with that decision. She also tells me that with me going away will mean that she will not be able to see my children as well. I remind her that she has never invited any of us to her house, ever. I tell her that we were never welcome because Derick wanted it that way, and I remind her that she always stood by his decision.

  What does she expect Polly and Eric or Jonah and Laura to do if they visit her? Stand outside her garden gate for a chat? Her reply to this is that her house is messy. I comment that so is Sophie’s, but we have all always been welcome there. We are not snobs and would not comment on the state of her home, and she knows that.

  She agrees to my reasons for leaving, but she thinks I will never return. I tell her she is welcome to visit me. She stubbornly refuses, telling me that her dog would pine to death if she left him for that long. I tell her that although I do not wish her dog any harm, if he dies, she then has no excuse. I realise how different we are, and really, it is always going to be all about poor Lorna. She will never understand just how hard my life has been.

  Three days later, Lorna and I go to Bingo for a night out. On the way, she tells me if I leave her the flat key, she can look after the place for me, just in case there is a burst pipe or something. I tell her I am leaving keys with Polly and Eric. She adds, “But if I need somewhere to go to have a break from Derick, I can use the flat. Yes, that will be good.” Later that night, I tell Polly and Simon. Both are in agreement that I am not doing that. I wonder whether Lorna will miss me or whether she just wants my house and the business premises!

  It is the night before I am due to leave and start my new life in Australia. We are all in the flat, and the adventure has nearly begun. Family and friends are meeting us in the local pub in the morning to see us off before the minibus arrives to take us to the bus station. The farewells are painful, and as I turn to get onto the bus, I see Simon. He is crying,
so I go over and hug him. I can’t stop the tears falling. I kiss him and tell him he will be OK, adding I will contact him when I get there. He whispers that he loves me. I reply, “You too.” I cannot say it back because I don’t love him. I do care about him and do not like seeing him hurt. I get on the bus, and we head to the airport. I wonder if I have lost the only chance I will ever have to be loved. I am leaving behind family and great friends, but I will come back and visit. Simon will meet someone new and be happy.

  The adventure has begun. My new life is a day away. The flights are long, and everyone is moaning. I am excited and want to show Eligh and Frankie a new way of life. This is going to be the best adventure of our lives. In the airport, I get an email from Drew asking me when I will be arriving. I tell him I am fourteen hours away. I get messages from Simon asking how the flight is going and telling me he misses me already. Family and friends are wishing us well on Facebook.

  Fifteen hours later we land at Adelade Airport. Everyone is tired, but we are excited to have arrived. It takes too long to get our luggage. As we leave the airport, I notice someone holding a card with my name on it. It says, “Lauren Francis: Good Day and Welcome to Australia!” It’s Drew! Maybe there is a chance for us after all.

  New Beginnings

  Lauren embraces her new life, and her adventure begins. Along with hard work and determination, she finds the hope she needs to succeed and achieve her dreams. Throughout her journey, she experiences love, heartache, friendships, and a lot of laughs along the way. She finally realises she is the only person who can turn around her life.