Radical Regatta!

by Anna Celeste Burke

  “He could be tired. It’s time to go home for lunch.” I was about to give up when Mitchum finally responded. Before he could say a word, I blurted out what we’d discovered and our new concerns about Angela Mason.

  Mitchum was abrupt, as usual, but also told me to call him back in a couple of hours. I remained speechless while he briefly explained where he was and what he was doing.

  “Is Bonnie okay?” I asked.

  “What’s wrong with Bonnie?” Brien had a terribly worried expression on his sweet, handsome face.

  9 A Break In

  As we left the lobby of the hotel, I shared what little I knew from my brief conversation with Mitchum. I set a brisk pace to the spot where we’d parked our golf cart this morning before heading down the slope to the marina. When I glanced toward the marina, I saw a pleasant sight. Sailboats dotted the horizon heading toward a brightly colored buoy.

  “Bonnie’s upset, but she’s not hurt. Someone broke into the clinic overnight. It’s too soon to know who’s responsible, but Mitchum suspects Teddy did it. The place is in as big a mess as the interior of Mason’s boat. The burglar searched the locked cabinet where they store drugs but didn’t steal them.”

  “How did he break in? Bonnie has an alarm system—I saw it.”

  “The phone line was cut—so no signal went out to the alarm company.”

  “I underestimated that guy’s skills. A burglar who knows how to disarm an alarm, who can dive, and who moves like a Cirque du Soleil acrobat is no ordinary burglar. I can’t believe he couldn’t come up with a better cover story than he did.”

  “For many people, his story would have worked. It’s too bad for him he tried to run that phony reporter routine on a detective’s baby sister. Anyway, Mitchum agrees with you that he’s no ordinary burglar, and Bonnie insisted he warn us. Otherwise, I’m not sure Bernie would have given us as many details as he did.” We arrived at our golf cart as I said that. Archie was ready to go home and hopped into the back seat. I was ready to go home too and had him buckled up in seconds.

  “Mitchum’s Saturday has turned into a bummer,” Brien said. When I slid into the passenger seat and buckled up, Brien was already behind the wheel.

  “That must be true for Bonnie, too. What’s upset her the most is that the intruder even searched the dogs’ kennels. He left the doors open, and some of them got loose. She’s trying to round them up, but the crime lab people are also there. It must be absolute chaos.”

  “I’ll bet Pepe lost it,” Brien said.

  “Listening to that bird screech will be the pièce de résistance for Bernie, won’t it?”

  “I love it when you speak French.” As he said that, a shadow passed over the road ahead of us.

  “What was that?” I asked. “You don’t think Teddy’s skills include drone surveillance, do you?”

  “Earlier this week one of the guys who follows yacht racing said they sometimes use them.”

  “Great! Maybe it’s Earl Gardner, and he also has a few previously unrevealed skills.”

  “Do you see a drone?” I checked the rearview mirror on my side of the golf cart. I scanned the skies around us, and even twisted in my seat to look behind us.

  “It’s kind of hard to see what’s overhead because of the roof, but I don’t see anything in the rearview mirror or anywhere else.” When it happened again, Brien saw the shadow and then relaxed.

  “What the heck is it?” I asked.

  “It’s a seagull. Don’t worry. This day has gone from choppy to heavy for us, too.” Brien had lapsed into surfer speak which is a clear sign that he’s stressed out. He was right that in the matter of a day, we’d moved from choppy waters—inconsistent, sloppy waves—to heavy waves, which to surfers signal danger.

  “It’s never good when the pace of dirty deeds picks up,” I said. “There’s no smooth sailing from here on out.”

  “At least we don’t have a dead body.”

  “That’s true. I’ll keep that in mind when I try to fall asleep tonight.” When we drove up to our cottage, we had an unexpected guest waiting for us—in fact, two guests as it turned out.

  “Excellent!” I wasn’t so sure I agreed under the current situation when I saw Bede sitting on the steps at the front door, reading. Don’t get me wrong, Bede’s an amazing person, but I’m more of an introvert than Brien is. I need more alone time than he does. Especially with all the stressful events we’d witnessed.

  “Come around to the back, and we can sit on the patio. The sailboats are out on the course.” Compared to what happened next, Bede’s presence was excellent.

  “Hello, Pal!” Pepe yelled, then screeched and dive-bombed us. I swear that bird laughed after we all did a little screeching of our own.

  “Go away, Pepe!” I shrieked. We ran for it, opened the door to the patio, and in he flew. He circled the room and then landed on one of the crossbeams that support the patio roof. Once he’d perched there, he began singing—La Cucaracha.

  “What are we going to do now?” I asked inching my way to the back door. I unlocked the screen door as quietly as I could. Then I reached in unlocked the door leading into the house.

  “Who is he?” Bede asked, smiling broadly.

  “Meet Pepe, the former sales rep for a foulmouthed drug lord who probably died at the hands of this deeply disturbed bird. That would explain why he never claimed his lost parrot.” I carefully opened the screen door leading into the house. Archie slipped inside and I followed. “Explain it to him, please, Brien. You can do it better than I can since you and Pepe seem to have bonded.”

  “Mal hombre!” Pepe hollered not long after I’d given Archie food and water. His wings flapped wildly as he screeched and careened past the screen door.

  “Pepe may think Brien’s a bad man, but I’ll show him!” Then my mouth fell open when he spoke again.

  “Flaco!” I ran to the screen door.

  “I know mal hombre means bad man. Doesn’t flaco mean skinny?” I asked.

  “It does, indeed,” Bede said. “I was telling Brien it’s not that unusual that Pepe spotted him down at the marina. Once he escaped, he would have flown away from town toward woods and water. Parrots have incredible memories, so he would have had no trouble recognizing Brien.”

  “I asked him if he was okay after the bad man broke in and he went bonkers,” Brien replied. “I didn’t say a word about skinny, though.”

  “What do you know? Pepe’s a stool pigeon. I’m calling Bonnie. Bernie will never believe it unless he hears it from her.”

  “Can we get some celery or carrots or something?” Brien asked peering through the screen door. “We’ve got to keep our star witness healthy until he’s called to testify. I poured water into the snack bowl out here that we never use.”

  Oh, yuck, I thought. Hadn’t used yet would have been more precise, but “never use” was correct now.

  “Carrots, but don’t give him celery. Do you have any quinoa or chia seeds?” Bede asked.

  “I’ll check,” I said as I opened the cupboard door. At the same time, I punched in the cellphone number Bonnie had written on the back of her husband’s business card.

  While the phone rang, I quickly dug out a bag of chia seeds from a cabinet. I’d read they were healthy for us and planned to try them. I’m a skeptical health nut, so the bag hadn’t been opened yet. A carrot was easy to find. Then, I grabbed cold drinks and a bag of chips for Brien and Bede.

  “Hello,” Bonnie said as I carefully handed food and drinks to the two men through a crack in the door that I hoped was too small for Pepe to fly through.

  “Is there a place you can sit down? You’re not going to believe this!” Bonnie laughed so hard when I informed her that, not only was Pepe in our possession, but he was singing like a canary.

  “Bernie’s the one who’d better sit down. That scrawny weasel, Teddy, is going to be sorry he ever picked this clinic to ransack. What is he trying to find?” I looked at Archie who, despite the havoc on the po
rch, was snoozing.

  I suddenly had an idea, but I wanted to talk it over with Brien and Bede. Before we met him, Bede had been involved in recovering artifacts, art, and manuscripts stolen from the Vatican’s collections. He’s more knowledgeable than we are about clever smuggling methods.

  “I don’t know Bonnie, or why Teddy figured you had it. Archie didn’t have anything with him when he got to the clinic other than that collar.” I tried not to choke on the big gulp of air I’d sucked in as another more humdrum possibility struck me. I tried to ask my question in a casual way. “What happened to his collar, by the way?”

  “I’m not sure. My assistant, who bathed and groomed Archie, removed it. Do you think that’s what the scoundrel wants? The buckle wasn’t platinum, and there weren’t any diamonds or other gemstones on it like some dog collars I’ve seen. I’ll ask my helper if she threw it away.” I felt a little disheartened. If Bonnie didn’t find it, how would we ever know if it had been thrown away or Teddy took it?

  “She’s here going through the mess with me, one area at a time, as the crime lab people give us permission to clean up. They let us put the poor dogs into the kennels in the room where we kept Archie as soon as they dusted for fingerprints. That’s a waste of time. I’m sure a veteran burglar like Teddy must have worn gloves.”

  “That wouldn’t surprise me,” I said. When Teddy dove off the boat, he had gloves on, so fat chance they’d get any prints from the boat either. Then I flashed on an image of Teddy the first time we saw him. “Teddy wasn’t wearing gloves when we saw him arguing with you, Bonnie. Did he touch anything like the clipboard you were holding?”

  “As a matter of fact, he did! Not on purpose. I’d gone to unlock the door after lunch, and he was standing there. He startled me, and I dropped my pen. He picked it up and handed it back to me.”

  “I suppose you have dozens of pens like the one he touched.”

  “We do, but not all of them are in the front pocket of the smock I was wearing. Thanks for jogging my memory. I bet Teddy remembered the incident later and that’s what he came back here to get. Let me go check to see if it’s still where I left it. If we can get his fingerprints, Bernie will be much happier about that than the idea of taking Pepe into protective custody.” Bonnie hooted as she said that. I was relieved to find her in such good spirits.

  “Don’t forget to look for the collar,” I reminded her.

  “Will do!” She said still chuckling as our call ended.

  10 A Knotty Problem

  “Hey, Brien, Bonnie might have Teddy’s fingerprints.” Pepe, who was sitting on the arm of a chair, made the “shh” sound. Then he went back to nibbling on chia seeds from the palm of Brien’s hand. I squinted not wanting to see the parrot take a chunk out of Brien. Brien obviously wasn’t worried. He was shoveling chips into his mouth with his free hand.

  “That’s good news,” Brien whispered.

  “I wondered about something else. When Teddy punched Greg, which fist did he use?” Brien’s brow furrowed, and then his face lit up.

  “That’s brilliant, Kim. He led with his right, so that makes him a southpaw.” Then Bede spoke up.

  “He’s actually ambidextrous in most things. That’s one reason he’s usually such a good thief. His slight build and unusual flexibility also mean that he can get into and out of places most people can’t. I came by to show you a picture I received from a friend who’s with Interpol. Is this Teddy?”

  “It is! He has aerial skills like he’s on a surfboard or something like that, too,” Brien exclaimed and told him what we’d seen as he dove off the boat. Pepe’s wings fluttered, and he shushed Brien, but he didn’t attack or take off for the rafters. I should have been sitting down as Bede slipped his cellphone to me. My knees went weak at the sight of “Teddy’s” mug shot.

  “Brien’s right. That’s our new friend who seems to be moving in the same circles as we are since he’s visited the clinic twice and we bumped into him on the boat. Have you called Mitchum?” I asked.

  “No. Last night, I mentioned I might have a lead on the guy, but I didn’t have the photo yet. Today, I wanted you two to ID him before sending the photo to Detective Mitchum. I’ll do it now so he can get Bonnie to look at it while they’re both at the clinic.” While Bede typed a message to go with the photo, I wondered what a thief so well-known to Interpol was doing in Corsario Cove. I tried to find out as soon as I heard the tell-tale whoosh that meant the text was on its way.

  “I know the regatta has drawn a large crowd, including a few ‘yachties,’ but the resort always attracts a high-end clientele. Is that why a thief like Teddy is here?”

  “It’s got to be more than that, Kim. He’s somehow mixed up with Mason, and it must have something to do with his dog, too, right?” Brien was right.

  “I agree,” Bede responded. “They’re up to something. Maybe one or more of Dr. Mason’s wealthy clients have followed him here, and they’re working together to steal valuable jewels or something like that.”

  “With the help of a guy like Teddy, Dr. Mason might be able to get the money or jewels he needs to pay off his gambling debts. If that’s true, what were they fighting about on the beach?” I asked. “What does the dog have to do with it?”

  “I’d love to have the answers to those questions. What’s more puzzling to me, though, is why Uri Popov—Teddy’s real name—is making such a spectacle of himself? You’ve seen him twice, and if it’s true that he left fingerprints at the clinic, that’s not at all like him. Nor is leaving a path of destruction in his wake like he did at the clinic and on the boat. He’s usually the kind of a thief who comes and goes without anyone ever realizing he’s been there until something of great value turns up missing.”

  “He could be getting desperate to find whatever he’s searching for, or maybe he wants to be followed or to get caught if Dr. Mason’s not the only one pointing a gun at him,” Brien suggested. “I give up. At least we know who he is, even if we don’t know what he’s doing or why he’s going about it the way he is.”

  “How about this? Could he be after Archie because he had something in the collar he had on when he went overboard?” I told Brien and Bede about the conversation I’d just had with Bonnie who had no idea where the collar was. “Or here’s an even more far-fetched idea. Could Archie be carrying something else like the microchip ID under his skin? Dr. Mason would know how to administer an injection to implant a small object like that.” Saying it aloud, the idea seemed ridiculous to me.

  “Those are both possibilities. The collar’s more likely, although that’s an obvious place for someone to look. It’s been done before, though. A bit of film, a microchip, or a tiny SIM card could be hidden in the collar. Your other idea about an implant under his skin is even more ingenious and devious.” Bede shrugged. “I wouldn’t rule that out.”

  “Good work getting in touch with your inner criminal, Kim!”

  “I can’t take all the credit. Ingenious and devious describes the men with whom I was associated for far too long.” I paused only briefly before changing the subject. “You know Uri Popov, Bede. How well does he know you?”

  “We have occasionally moved in the same circles, to borrow the phrase you’ve already used. Not on the same side, of course, but in pursuit of the same items. He may know me by sight, if not by name,” Bede replied.

  “Well, maybe you need to get out more,” Brien suggested. “Let’s have lunch, and if Bonnie hasn’t sent Mitchum or someone else to get Pepe, maybe we can ask Mick and Willow to babysit. I haven’t had a chance to tell Kim this, but I’m pretty sure an impression I made from the imprint left on a notepad in the Masons’ suite is the number for another boat slip at the marina. If we go check it out, and we bump into Teddy again, you could try to get him to talk to you.”

  “He’d better not throw a punch at you two. If he does, he’ll regret it.” Pepe hadn’t made a peep during the last few minutes of our conversation. When Brien moved, Pepe’s head was bent
forward at an awkward angle. “Is he okay?”

  “Catching up on his sleep,” Bede replied. “It was a rough night. Do you have a box of some kind and a towel or something soft like that? Some parrots like a hideaway.” Quiet and asleep, Pepe suddenly appeared tiny and so vulnerable, that I felt sorry for him.

  “What’s for lunch? I’m starving,” Brien said when he discovered his bag of chips was empty.

  I froze. My plan for lunch had been to make us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with bananas and leftover brownies. That hardly seemed like a lunch to serve to a guest—especially a world-traveler like Bede. My repertoire of meals that are edible is incredibly small.

  “Let me get a box and a towel for the bird, and then I’ll fix lunch.” Stalling for some time seemed a reasonable thing to do.

  “Why don’t you let me fix lunch for us?” Bede offered. “Do you have eggs, cheese, and mushrooms or spinach? I can fix us an omelet or a frittata.”

  “Mushrooms and spinach,” I replied.

  “A little onion would be good, too.”

  “You’ve got it!”

  I now happily added cooking to Bede’s skills. The frittata was incredible, and I was glad I hadn’t suggested peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We’d barely cleaned up after lunch when the doorbell rang. I peeked out a side window and recognized one of Bonnie’s assistants holding a large cage as she stood on our small front porch.

  “Come on in. Pepe’s on the patio. Follow me, and I’ll show you where he is.” Brien took the cage she was carrying, but she hung onto a bag with a thick shoulder strap. When we got to the screen door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Pepe was sound asleep, lying down with part of his body covered by the towel I’d put in the box for him.

  “Did you cover him up?” I whispered to Brien.

  “He sleeps like that sometimes,” the vet assistant assured me. “I brought his blankie. I’ll use it to try to coax him into the cage if you set it on the floor out there. If that doesn’t work, I have his food and favorite treats to lure him in there.”