Castles in the Sand

by Sally John

  She willed herself to meet those steady determined eyes. “First and foremost it’s about a baby. It’s about Kenzie needing my support. It’s about me needing your support. It’s about Drake needing your support.”

  “Susan, I support you. That’s why I’m here. But I can’t function in the middle, in between you and Drake. You’ve told us that Kenzie’s pregnant. He hasn’t, and he’s my boss. How can I show support if he doesn’t realize I’m aware of the situation?”

  “I left him a voice mail first thing this morning.” She thought it only fair to inform him; obviously she never got the chance at their dinner. “I told him about the shower and the Marthas coming. He realizes that you know.”

  Some of the steely gaze faded from her eyes. “He didn’t say a word.”

  “I think maybe…” Susan blew out a breath, “maybe he needs to hear directly from you that you know and that you haven’t disowned him.”

  “Why isn’t it enough coming from you?”

  Because she was only the wife. No master’s degree, no comprehension of Greek, no giftedness beyond helping a bride order cake. “It will mean more if he hears it from someone he respects on the church staff.”

  Now Tess sighed. “All right.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She tried to smile and straightened her shoulders. “Okay. Are the others inside?”

  “Yes. Go on in. I’ll wait outside for Kenzie a few more minutes.”

  Tess walked to the doorway and then turned. “Susan.” The smile succeeded this time. “Congratulations, Grandma.”

  She grinned. “Thank you.”

  Susan watched Tess enter the house and put a hand to her mouth, holding back a giggle. Had she really just spoken her mind to Tess Harmon? Yes indeed, praise God from whom all blessings flowed! Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

  Now if only He’d bring Kenzie to her own baby shower. Natalie reported Kenzie had sounded agreeable to the idea on the phone. Pepper said she wanted to pick Kenzie up, but Kenzie insisted Pepper not go out of her way, and besides, Aidan offered his van. She’d drop him off for his performance and drive herself.

  “Mom.”

  Susan smiled and turned. There she was, unlatching the gate. “Kenzie! Hi.” Thank You, God. Thank You.

  “Hi.”

  As usual, she wore lots of black: short clunky combat-type boots, a long skirt, a denim jacket masculine in style and at least three sizes too large. A familiar worn knapsack hung across her shoulders. Through the unbuttoned jacket, Susan glimpsed a white T-shirt too short to reach the skirt’s waistband. It only partially covered her little round tummy.

  She went to her daughter, arms open. Kenzie stepped into them, and they hugged for a long moment.

  “Mom, your hair looks great!”

  “You really like it? Emmylou cut it.”

  “It’s got attitude. Way to go, Mom. I like the skirt too. Wow! And sandals? Toenail polish?”

  “Your aunt’s influence. We shopped down the street.”

  “No way.”

  “Yeah.” She smiled. “And look at you. You’re blossoming.”

  “I’m getting fat.”

  “Can I touch him?”

  “Him?” Kenzie pulled aside the large jacket. “How about her?”

  Susan laid a hand on the small bulge partially covered in cotton. “I guess a ‘her’ would be all right too. If she was like her mommy.”

  Kenzie blinked.

  “Wild and crazy and creative and delightful.” She removed her hand. “And if Aidan is anything like his mother, I think a ‘he’ would be a masculine version of all that?”

  Kenzie nodded.

  “I’m so glad you came, honey.”

  “Well.” She cleared her throat. “Aunt Nattie promised no dorky games.”

  Susan smiled. “Shall we go inside?”

  Kenzie glanced around the patio. “Where’s Pugsy?”

  “Gwyn has probably locked him in a back bedroom by now.”

  “She’s not a dog person, is she?”

  “If Pugsy sits on your lap and not hers, she’ll be okay.”

  Kenzie hesitated. “I can’t stay late. I have to pick up Aidan when the band’s done.”

  “That’s fine.”

  Now she bit her lip, clearly unsure about going inside.

  Please, Lord.

  “So how did your Marthas react to…to the baby news?”

  Susan smiled gently. “No one was shocked and appalled. Not a hint of condemnation surfaced. There was sympathy because unplanned, out-of-wedlock pregnancies bring their own set of difficulties.”

  Kenzie narrowed her eyes and defensiveness flashed in them. Her impish nose tilted further skyward.

  A wave of panic washed over Susan. The feeling felt odd and yet familiar. Too familiar. It was like when Drake screened the jots and tittles. Did Kenzie screen as well? Did Susan choose her words according to what their impact on Kenzie might be?

  She thought of her songfest last night under the stars. All shred of straitjacket and burial wrappings had vanished. Easter arrived early for her. Instead of Resurrection Sunday, she experienced a Resurrection Thursday. She wasn’t about to climb back into the tomb.

  Even if Kenzie ran away from her.

  “Honey, I’m just trying to be honest here. This situation has caused problems for everyone involved. For starters, your dad’s embarrassed, I’m angry with him and you, and you and Aidan have all kinds of adjustments to make. But,” she said, smiling, “there is an upside. I can now admit I’m not perfect and I don’t have to pretend that I am. Of course that brings its own set of adjustments. Your dad won’t speak to me. Well, we did try last night. It didn’t go well. I don’t think he knows what to do with me. I refuse to go home if you can’t go there. So I don’t know. Does that mean we’re separated? Pepper and I are getting hooked on ice cream in the afternoon. Not exactly a healthy practice. The gospel according Natalie is making more and more sense, which confounds me to no end. I’m singing, and that makes Pugsy howl—”

  “Mom!”

  She refocused her eyes and saw Kenzie grinning. “What?”

  “You’re running off at the mouth.”

  “Oh.”

  She laughed. “It’s okay.”

  “Yes, of course.” She ran her fingers through her hair, feigning nonchalance. “I know it is.”

  Kenzie laughed harder.

  “So, are you coming inside or not? We don’t have all night.”

  Wiping at the corner of her eye, she nodded.

  Thank You, God. Thank You.

  Susan smiled to herself and led the way.

  Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

  Thirty-Four

  Pepper’s love for her semi-daughter-in-law pounced on her time and again, sneak attacks that caught her unaware.

  Like now at the baby shower. There Kenzie sat by a front window, the last flash of the setting sun encircling her comical sprouts of stiffly gelled hair with a glow, looking for all the world like a little kid in a candy store as she tore wrapping paper from gifts. Who would have thought? She was not a material girl, but something in her responded to the love represented in the stroller, the car seat, the tiny pj’s, the silky blankets, and the bags of disposable diapers.

  Pepper didn’t know if she was more surprised at Kenzie’s delight or at the love-gift givers. With the exception of maybe Natalie, the chatty churchwomen filling the room were the last ones Pepper would have guessed able to touch Kenzie in such a way.

  Whoa! The tone of her judgmental voice spun Pepper off into a private little confessional time with the Lord right then and there in the middle of the party, sitting on the couch next to Mildred, one of the delightful white-haired twins.

  The thing was that for Pepper, condemning Drake and Susan Starr and th
eir entire hoity-toity evangelical, thousand-plus member congregation from a distance had felt…Well, it had felt downright fun in a twisted sort of way. It probably soothed her own ego. Only a bunch of hypocrites could turn their backs on Kenzie. Not so Pepper Carlucci.

  Jesus in a short, pudgy body with an Irish temperament.

  And no wonder the girl had gotten herself into such a situation. She craved love and attention. Why wouldn’t Aidan fall head over heels for such a needy, talented, attractive, funny woman? True, he had behaved foolishly, but at least he turned to his parents. He knew they were available to help him figure things out.

  Oh, Lord! I am sorry for thinking myself better than others.

  The Martha Mavens from Holy Cross Fellowship were the most gracious women she’d ever met. Reverend Starr might be a snoot, but nothing short of God’s power had transformed his wife. His sister-in-law, Natalie, was earthy and undoubtedly the most positive influence in Kenzie’s short life. The others—Emmylou, Gwyn, Mildred, Leona, and Tess—all treated Kenzie like a princess.

  Lord! I am sorry for drawing a denominational line in the sand, for believing only my side knows Your ways.

  Beside her, Mildred patted her knee. “Tell me about Aidan.”

  Pepper smiled. The woman was the epitome of cordiality from some bygone era. She truly wanted to hear about her son.

  “Well, he is handsome. He looks like me. Black hair and sapphire blue eyes.”

  Mildred laughed.

  While the others carried on different conversations and Kenzie unwrapped, Pepper described Aidan to Mildred. “He’s twenty-five, our oldest. He’s like Kenzie, creative, moody, talented. Have you heard their music?”

  Brown eyes twinkled behind thick lenses. “Yes. It’s wonderful. Intriguing words. Kenzie told me he writes the music and lyrics.”

  “Most of them. I don’t understand all the words myself, but I think they’re a record of his faith journey. You know, full of questions, often without clear answers.”

  Mildred bobbed her head. “Like the psalms. Asking, wondering, yet turning to God for hope. Like Peter saying to Jesus, where else would we go? Who else has the words of life?”

  Amazed that the elderly woman connected with Aidan’s struggle and offbeat music, Pepper could only nod.

  “There is power in your Aidan’s work. Power not of this world. However did you raise him to be like this?”

  Pepper chuckled. “If it’s good, I wasn’t responsible.”

  “You prayed.” She stated it as fact.

  Pepper grew somber. Mildred wanted to dig deep. “Yes, I prayed. Nonstop. My husband and I thank God for the faith He has given us. It’s never looked traditional, though. Aidan calls it wild and wooly.”

  Mildred grinned.

  “And I blame my parents. They were downright weird, original Jesus freaks.” She laughed. “In a good way. They raised me and my eight siblings in northern California in what might be called a commune. I think it was more like a monastery, even though we all had our own simple houses. As a group we were fairly self-contained with farm animals, crops, a school, and church. It wasn’t like we were closed off from society, though. Most of the men worked elsewhere, even some of the women. Some of the kids went off to high school or college. The common thread that tied us together was a radical dependence on Jesus.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Prayer and worship and music defined the group. The main thing I took with me from my childhood was an acceptance of the mystery. That God is real and yet unexplainable.” She smiled. “I’m sorry. I’m preaching.”

  “To the choir.” Mildred giggled and slapped her hands together, a smack of cymbals for emphasis. “What happened? Why did you leave?”

  “Like with most experiments, things didn’t seem to take by the second generation.”

  “Mm-hmm. We all have to find our own way.”

  “Yes. And I met Mick around the time my older siblings were leaving. He was working on road construction nearby. Love at first sight. I was barely seventeen and he was twenty-one, but we both just knew. We married as soon as I turned eighteen and then we moved down here. Aidan was born eleven months later.”

  “You and Mick found your own way, then.”

  Pepper nodded. “He loved my unconventional parents and my far-out faith. Eventually we settled into a mainline church whose pastor didn’t mind if we acted a little odd now and then.”

  Mildred leaned toward her and whispered, “Because you still trafficked in the mystery, right?”

  Pepper grinned. “Yeah.”

  “That’s why Kenzie is in your family now.” She winked. “She’s always colored outside the lines too.”

  Another sneak attack.

  Despite the upheaval Kenzie and Aidan had brought to the Carlucci family, Pepper wouldn’t have wished it any other way. A girl who colored outside the lines was made to order as a daughter-in-law. Semi or not.

  Thirty-Five

  Natalie grew more incensed by the minute.

  Faith Fontaine would be so disappointed in her. The deceased woman’s beach house exuded an indescribable, tangible sense of peace and love. It always had. On the two occasions Natalie had visited Faith with Rex, she assumed the woman’s personality responsible. But she knew better now. Renting her house as a vacation place, she believed Faith’s character actually lived on. In the air. In the walls. Wherever, however. That could produce the heebie-jeebies in some people. The exact opposite occurred every single time she visited, though. Peace permeated. Peace and love, goodness and mercy—

  Until now.

  As far as Natalie could tell, Kenzie and Pepper and the Martha Mavens were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Her niece had thanked her already no less than three times for organizing the shower. Susan absolutely beamed, more attractive than ever in her new clothes and haircut. Even Tess had loosened up and left her role as director of women’s ministries behind at the office.

  Natalie poured water into the coffeemaker and punched the “on” button and tried not to think about what she’d rather be punching. Or rather, whom.

  “Natalie.”

  She jumped at Mildred’s voice right behind her and turned.

  “Are you all right, dearie? You seem a bit nettled.”

  No use pretending with the Prayer Warrior. “Try mad as a wet hen.”

  “Ah. Anything I can do for you?” She smiled. “Besides pray, I mean.”

  “Thank you, Mildred. I don’t know what it would be. Besides pray.” Natalie clenched her teeth. They could leave it at that, like an unspoken prayer request. Mildred wasn’t asking for details. She never needed to know them. But that seemed like a coward’s way out.

  She touched the old woman’s arm. “Can we talk?”

  “Certainly.”

  “Let’s go back here.” Natalie led her off the kitchen, past the side door and a bathroom, into a closet-size bedroom at the rear of the house. It was a favorite hideaway of hers. She would read in it, undisturbed while Rex and the boys did other things.

  The room contained a daybed against the far wall, one window, an armoire, and a hardback chair. Those few things totally filled the space.

  Natalie pulled the trundle out and smoothed the coverlet. Mildred’s short legs would never get her up atop the daybed. “Have a seat.”

  They sat beside each other.

  “Mildred, I have to tell someone.”

  “Before you pop a gut?”

  Natalie burst into laughter. How did such words drip from that honey-sweet smile? “Yes, before I do that.” She paused. “I want to murder my brother-in-law.”

  “That would be Pastor Drake.”

  “Uh, yeah. Here we are, loving on Kenzie, trying to take care of her needs, show her support. But it’s like putting salve on an open, gaping, bleeding wound. It won’t solve anything. She’ll leave here tonight with that great big hole still there. Her dad won’t speak with her or acknowledge to his congregation that she’s alive, let alone expecting his gra
ndchild. Totally asinine.”

  “Well, dearie, you’re sticking your neck out pretty far.”

  Natalie sat back and blinked. No. Not Mildred. The Prayer Warrior would not say there was no place for a father’s unconditional forgiveness in this situation.

  Mildred took Natalie’s hand between her own and zeroed in on her face. “But I feel exactly the same way.”

  “Huh?”

  “The question is, what are we going to do?”

  “Uh, you mean besides pray.”

  “Yes, besides pray. We must have the right response in our anger. I don’t think we should simply pretend it’s not there.”

  “Mildred, I was thinking a gun.”

  “Well, now, that is a little drastic. I have something else in mind.”

  “Please don’t say let’s kill him with kindness.”

  “Unfortunately, I don’t know if he would notice that.”

  “Mmm.”

  “I’m thinking a boycott.”

  “Boycott?”

  Mildred nodded. “Boycott. Now, let’s pray. We really need Tess on our side, and you know how devoted she is to her human boss.” She shut her eyes, squeezed Natalie’s hand, and raised her other hand toward heaven. “Father.”

  As if a plug had been pulled from a tub filled with water, Natalie’s anger drained from her.

  Maybe Faith Fontaine hadn’t abandoned her after all.

  Thirty-Six

  Kenzie cuddled Pugsy in her arms, nuzzling his neck. She wished she could take him home with her, but pets were not allowed in the apartment.

  “He’d love to go with you.” Susan petted his back. “Wouldn’t you, Pugs?”

  Kenzie peered with one eye over the dog’s head, hiding astonishment again at her mom’s extreme chattiness. It wasn’t that she’d never been chatty. Most of the time Kenzie thought her too much so. This was something different.

  They stood behind the beach house in the dim carport light. Natalie had driven her to the parking lot where she picked up Aidan’s van and returned to the house so they could load the shower gifts into it. Her aunt was gone now, as well as Pepper and all the Marthas. Much to Kenzie’s surprise, she remained the last one to leave. Earlier she had fudged about being unable to stay late. Aidan and the band sang until two. Although she could sit in the club and wait, she wasn’t exactly behind schedule.