by Sally John
“No, it’s got your name on it. Trust me, I’ll be up in the night checking on him.”
“It’s almost morning.” He sank onto the cot and pulled off his shoes.
Maybe he wasn’t going to tell her anything about the conversation. Should she ask? Nah. The new salty Pepper understood he needed his space. Her prayers for him and Kenzie over the past hour fulfilled her role. She knew when to put a lid on it.
“Get this, Mom.”
She blinked.
He lay on his side, elbow crooked, head in hand. “She’s staying at the beach house with her mom.”
“Hmm.” Two nights in a row? “Well last night’s slumber party was a good bonding time for them.”
“But get this. Susan told her we shouldn’t get married.”
Uh-oh. Where had that come from? Oh! Susan’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy. She must have finally told Kenzie the story about why she and Drake married, about her lack of self-worth through the years. That would have opened up a can of wiggly worms.
She asked, “Did she say why Susan said that?”
“Yeah. A bunch of stuff about getting married just to cover up their shocking deed.” He shivered and hissed. “Such nasty stuff.”
She ignored his smart-aleck routine. “Susan told me and Natalie the whole story.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm. It’s their issue, Aidan. Susan’s and Drake’s. She does have a point, though. She hopes you two don’t marry for the reasons they did: to pretend you’re perfect and escape other people’s condemnation. You’re not perfect and people are going to condemn you anyway. But she didn’t exactly say ‘Do not get married.’”
“Yeah, she did.”
“Honestly, I really think that had to be what Kenzie heard. It’s a partial interpretation. There’s more to it than that.”
“Whatever.” He fell back against the pillow with a sigh. The light caught his grimace. “Kenzie’s scared to death of repeating her parents’ life. We do manage to agree on one thing: The tradition of marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be.”
Her temperature shot up and the new salty Pepper disintegrated on the spot. His wavering had gone on long enough. “Aidan, your dad almost got killed today. As you said, things look different. Suddenly, I don’t give a rip if I come across unsupportive. You, young man, are stuck.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Well, then get off the dime! You don’t play at marriage. You either are or you’re not. The tradition, instituted by God Almighty Himself, is imperfect in this imperfect world and our imperfect lives. But it’s still the best choice available. If you or Kenzie are not ready, okay. I can live with that. We’ll make the best of it.” A sob out of nowhere clutched at her throat and cut off the flow of words. Her grandbaby might end up living with that fool Drake Starr! Or in Phoenix with someone named Dakota!
“Mmph!” The muffled sound came from Mick.
Pepper and Aidan leapt to their feet and dashed to either side of his bed.
His eyes were shut, but he spoke, his voice low and thick. “Feel better, Pepper Sprout, getting that off your chest?” He smiled. “Aidan, what your mom’s trying to say is: Be a man. But you should hear that from me, not her. So.” He rumbled a deep chuckle. “Be a man. You know how, son. I’ve seen you. It’s in your music. Follow your heart. That’s where God writes His word. Now, you two, keep it down. People are trying to sleep around here.”
With that his head sank deeper into the pillow and a loud snore flapped his lips.
Across the bed, Pepper met Aidan’s stare. His surprised expression reflected her own. Their stunned silence lasted a long moment. Then the giggles started. They grew into uncontrollable howls, suppressed only after one very stern nurse paid them a visit.
Fifty-Eight
“You are such a man about this, Rexton Starr.” Natalie linked her arm through her husband’s and smiled as they walked across the church parking lot Thursday evening.
He laughed. “Because I told Drake’s assistant I was coming in at five fifteen?”
“Well, yeah.” She stretched the last word into two syllables. “You didn’t ask for an appointment. You just announced what you were doing.”
“But I scheduled my visit around his meetings.”
“Still, there was that slightly macho attitude involved. Not to mention you left your office early. Canceled appointments even.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Mostly…” She went up on tiptoe and planted a kiss on his cheek. “It’s because you’re not giving up on your brother.”
He looked at her and winked. “Some would say—like said brother—that I’m doing all this because I’m so whipped over you, woman.”
She grinned. “That’s the real reason you are such a man.”
They reached the building and went inside. Natalie forced herself to swallow one last snicker. Under the circumstances, Drake might not appreciate mirthful expressions. She wondered if he would appreciate the point of their visit. Two points, actually. Her point was to ask his forgiveness for her disrespect of him. Rex’s was to invite him to join them for a communion service at the beach house later that evening.
Knowing Drake, her hopes were not what one would label high.
She had asked Mildred to keep them in prayer. Now wouldn’t she chastise her for entertaining such negative thoughts? Expect God to show up, the old prayer warrior would say. Hopes should be sky high.
They crossed the lobby. Lights were turned low throughout the building. The staff was probably already gone for the day. Tomorrow, Good Friday, would be full of activity.
She walked through the open door of the main office ahead of Rex. The door to Drake’s private room was shut, and the front desk was empty. A young man sat on a chair, drumming his fingertips on the end table and looking at a magazine on his lap.
He glanced up and nodded at them politely.
Natalie smiled and sat on the couch. Lowering himself beside her, Rex said, “Hi.”
The guy looked familiar to Natalie, but in a church as large as theirs, names often did not accompany the sight of a face.
The twentysomething wore khakis and a colorful Hawaiian-style shirt, loose fitting and hanging out. His youthful face said he wasn’t old enough to shave, but his shadowy jaw disagreed. His hair was a deep brown, almost bushy with curls, and hung below his collar. A brilliant blue made a brief appearance before he lowered his gaze back to the magazine. His drumming fingertips tapped now, a definite rhythm rather than a release of nervous energy.
There was something beautiful about him. A peace. Even as he was aware enough to greet them and to—apparently—read the magazine, he appeared focused on whatever music he heard—
“Oh my gosh!” She felt Rex’s stare and turned.
His brows were raised.
Not quite sure what to do with her revelation, she mouthed a name. Aidan.
The brows nearly collided with the blond crew cut.
Although Natalie had seen Kenzie’s boyfriend a few times when the band played at area youth rallies, it had always been from a distance. They had never met.
Drake’s door opened and he ushered out a smiling young couple whom Natalie might or might not have met. She couldn’t think straight. While they gushed thanks, exchanged hugs, and headed out to the lobby, she racked her brains trying to figure out a gracious way to exit. If the boy was indeed Aidan, something was in the works that shouldn’t involve her and Rex.
“Rex.” Drake nodded to him. “Natalie.” He half turned to the young man now standing. “And this is…?”
The guy offered his hand. “Aidan Carlucci.”
Drake whipped his attention back to his brother. “How dare you bring him here!”
Rex shrugged. “I didn’t. I’ve never met him.” He thrust his hand toward Aidan. “Hi. I’m Rex Starr.”
A smile spread across the boy’s face and the blue eyes, set deep under thick brows, sparkled. “Kenzie’s uncle.” They shook
hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“This is my wife—”
“Aunt Nattie.” He finished the sentence, and with another smile he shook her hand. “I’m very happy to meet you, ma’am.” His voice was low and whispery, his handshake firm. Taller than Rex, he wasn’t as tall as Drake.
“Thanks.” She couldn’t help but return the smile. The kid was perfect for her niece. Gracious, charming, cute. Nervy as all get out to show up unannounced at Drake’s office.
Rex said to Drake, “Okay, now I’ve met him. I assume he wants to talk with you, so Nat and I will leave. We’ll chat later.”
“I don’t have anything to say to him, and I’m quite sure he has nothing to say to me that I’m interested in hearing.”
“Drake.” Rex’s one syllable expressed untold compassion as well as chastisement.
Her husband never ceased to amaze her.
Aidan said, “Sir, I just want to ask one quick question. May I have your blessing to ask your daughter to marry me?”
The silence wasn’t quite total. Natalie heard her heartbeat. She heard the hum of electricity.
As if waiting for the dust to settle from his little bombshell, Aidan stood perfectly still for a long moment before speaking again. “I love Kenzie. I love our unborn child. I want to take care of them for the rest of our lives. I am sorrier than I can say for getting the cart before the horse, for not treating her honorably. I’ve confessed to God that I chose my own way and not His. I take full responsibility. Now I’d like to take full responsibility as a husband in the eyes of God and man. Sir, your blessing will mean a lot to both of us.”
Drake’s complexion turned ashen. “I don’t…I can’t…” His voice quivered. He cleared his throat a few times.
Natalie wanted to yell at him to kick the ball. What more could he want? The goal was wide open, nobody guarding it. Wham! Take the shot! Win your family back!
He tilted his head.
Half a nod?
He raised his chin. “Yes,” he croaked. “But it’s Kenzie’s decision.”
Now Aidan stared in obvious disbelief. “Yes?”
Drake blinked rapidly.
Natalie wondered if he had gone into true shock, as in oxygen was not reaching his brain.
Aidan grinned. “Thank you, sir.” Again he stuck his hand toward Drake. “Thank you.”
Stiff as a board, Drake raised his hand and let Aidan shake it.
“Thank you, sir.” Aidan pumped his hand, let go, and turned to shake first Rex’s hand and then hers. “Thank you. Thank you. All right. I guess I’ll see you. Sometime.” He gave a little wave and glided through the office doorway.
Natalie heard a distinct whoop as the lobby door banged open.
Drake sank onto the couch. Elbows on knees, he propped his forehead in his hands.
“Drake.” Rex sat beside him and placed an arm around his shoulders. “You did the right thing.”
And then Natalie heard the most heartbreaking sound imaginable. Pastor Drake Starr, her brother-in-law, sobbed.
Rex swung his other arm around him and held him fast.
Fifty-Nine
Kenzie melted into Aidan’s embrace.
And silently chewed herself out for finding comfort in his strong arms, in the intensity of his sapphire blue gaze, in his kiss that prickled from unshaven chin, in that low raspy voice that had mesmerized her for years.
Was that how it had been between her mom and dad? They were supposedly crazy about each other when they were young. Did Susan give herself to Drake and get pregnant because she loved him…or because she was starved for affection? Was she blind to Drake’s obvious faults? Did she melt into his hugs and think that was where she belonged no matter what?
“Hey, Kenz.” Aidan whispered into her hair.
“Hey,” she whispered back, thinking her decision to get off work early that afternoon was a good one. She wouldn’t have missed this reunion for the world.
It was Thursday night, almost time for the Marthas’ communion service inside the beach house. She and Aidan stood in the dusk beside the seawall, oblivious to passersby. He had phoned her after he parked his mom’s van in a lot a mile south of the house. Idiot that she was, she’d raced out the door barefoot and down the concrete boardwalk in that direction and, when they met, leapt into his arms with a squeal. He’d been gone thirty-three hours. The separation felt like months.
“I’m so glad your dad’s okay.”
He nodded, his head still nestled against hers. “Mmm. I missed you.”
He missed her? That was why he didn’t call until the middle of last night? Kind of a funny way of showing it.
She felt herself go still. The words she had said about her dad echoed, that if he truly believed emotions were neither right nor wrong, he had a funny way of showing it by always belittling her thoughts and feelings.
“Kenz?” Aidan straightened and looked at her. “What’s wrong?”
Mush filled her veins again. There he went, seeing deep inside her heart like no one else could.
He touched her nose. “Hey, you can tell me.”
She gave him half a smile. He wasn’t her dad. She really could tell him her thoughts without fear of getting trashed. “If you missed me, it seems like you could have called sooner. At least to tell me he wasn’t dying.”
He nodded. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. I can’t…exactly…explain. Things were a huge mess. There was Mom and the doctors and nurses and Dad’s boss. Aunts and uncles on the phone. It took a while to reassure my sisters and then there was Mickey. Poor kid. He was in bad shape.”
Well, she could have reassured Mickey Junior. They had a special connection. Everybody said so. Some even said they clicked better than he did with any of his four sisters.
She watched Aidan closely as he went on and on with his half-baked apology. The corners of his mouth kept curving up, as if a puppeteer pulled strings attached to his lips. She interrupted him, “You’re really psyched about your dad, huh?”
“What?” His puzzled look gave way to another smile. “Oh, yeah! For sure. I mean, he’s going to be all right. Well, after he lays in bed for who knows how many weeks and his pelvis heals. And at least he can come home and Mom can be his nurse. Yeah, it’s pretty exciting. Like I was saying…”
She tuned him out again. All of their talk about being “one” didn’t amount to a hill of beans. If she truly were his wife—marriage license or not—he would have called her first, not dead last.
Well, she knew one thing for sure. She wasn’t signing up for her mother’s life. Living like a second-class citizen was not for her. If Aidan couldn’t treat her with any more respect than he’d just shown her, it was time to set some new ground rules. She could melt in his arms and love him all she wanted, but there would always remain a tiny corner of herself she would never, ever allow him to invade.
Aidan hustled Kenzie along the boardwalk. He’d told her how eager he was to meet the Martha Mavens now gathered at the beach house. Pepper had ordered him to thank them personally for their prayers for Mick.
The corner of herself that Kenzie had declared off limits to Aidan already protested. The ache in her chest was almost unbearable. Should she give it one last shot?
“Aidan, you said you have to go back up to the hospital tomorrow?”
“First thing in the morning. I’d better spend the night at my folks’ house so I can pack some things Mom and Dad need. Then tomorrow I’ll take Mickey with me. We’ll see how it goes. The doctor wasn’t too optimistic about Dad leaving before Sunday. But Mickey and I might spend the night there, in a motel. Since I’ve got Mom’s van, I don’t need mine. You can keep using it, no problem.”
“I wasn’t asking for a vehicle. I’m suggesting I could go with you and help out, especially with Mickey J.”
“Thanks, but that’s all right. You’ve got work tomorrow and Saturday. Dad wants me to take seats out of the van so he can lay in the back. Ha! Mr. Tough Guy. He reall
y shouldn’t move at all. An ambulance has to bring him home. But who knows? God could glue him all back together by then.”
He squeezed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
She figured that happened only because she was the nearest object. At that moment he probably would have kissed a fence post.
Like the day he and Pepper rushed off, she felt totally invisible to the Carlucci family. She wasn’t sure which hurt worse: cutting herself off or letting them do it.
The invisible routine continued at the beach house. It expanded to her own mother and the Martha Mavens.
Kenzie stood just inside the front door. No one even bothered to wait for her to introduce Aidan. The Marthas knew who he was, of course, and they went a little nuts meeting him. A bunch of full-on delirious magpies. Her mother kissed his cheek. Millie blushed and giggled, looking seven instead of seventysomething. Frosty Tess hugged him like some long-lost relative. Emmylou shook his hand and then laid it on her abdomen. “It’s his foot!” Leona gave him two cookies. Gwyn offered him tea.
Kenzie watched his reactions with surprise. Aidan could be moody and standoffish, especially when he was composing and arranging music. Onstage, singing and playing keyboard, he was totally at peace, oblivious to the world around him, lost in worship. But rarely, very rarely, was he extroverted like now, and never with strangers.
What was up?
He thanked the women nonstop for their prayers for his dad. They wanted to hear details, and so he expanded on the story.
Kenzie left them and searched the house in vain for her aunt. Besides the Marthas, at least two dozen other people filled the living room and kitchen area. More were outside on the patio. Many she recognized from the church; quite a few were seniors like Millie and Leona. They greeted her with hugs and best wishes.
She also saw Emmylou’s hunky Marine husband, the neighbor Julian, and the wild-looking street pastor Zeke. She found Pugsy cowering under a bed and nuzzled him for a while. But Aunt Nattie and Uncle Rex were nowhere to be found.