Act Like You Know

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  4

  BREACH

  “So her mom is dying?” I heard somebody ask outside my room.

  I couldn’t relax because of all the commotion outside my door, and though it had been only a few hours since I’d lain down, when I turned over and heard the voices, I knew Malloy had told somebody my business. I had a serious problem with that.

  “Shhh, keep your voice down,” I heard Malloy say.

  “I just feel bad.” I finally recognized that it was Loni’s voice. “Here we are, we’re all just getting on her, and now she’s going through this crisis. This is horrible.”

  Okay, now I was even more upset. I didn’t need anyone to take pity on me. This was my struggle, and I could deal with it alone. Malloy knew only because my mom had needed to get in touch with me, and I’d had to use her phone, but that didn’t give her the right to spread my business to anybody. I got out of bed and paced back and forth.

  I heard Torian say, “We called Hayden and everybody.”

  “No, tell me you didn’t,” Malloy said.

  “Yeah, they’re on their way.”

  “Okay, that’s it!” I finally uttered as I opened the door, yanked Malloy inside, and slammed it shut. “What are you doing? Why are you telling everybody my business? Who’s all coming over here? I can’t believe you would do this to me. Is this your payback because I had a few people over to your place last week? I thought we had moved past that. Weren’t we gonna be sisterly to each other, honor each other’s wishes, and stay out of each other’s affairs?”

  “I’m sorry. I just called Torian and Loni. They’re my girls, and I hate that this is happening to you. We’re sisters, and we’re supposed to support—”

  “I don’t need anybody to support me on this. It’s not like anybody can go into my mom’s body, play God, clean her up, get rid of the tumor, and make her all right. I mean, it is what it is. What you guys can do for me is leave me the heck alone.”

  “Okay, wait, now,” Loni said on the other side of the door. “Don’t be going off on her. Just ’cause you don’t know how we roll around here.”

  “Hush,” Torian said to Loni.

  “Yeah, hush, Loni, I got this,” Malloy said.

  “That girl don’t like me anyway, and you’re going to call her and tell her my business?” I asked.

  “I do like you. I do like you—it’s just that—” I opened the door. But before I could vent anymore, the doorbell rang, and not only was it Hayden and Bea, but Sharon and Dena and a couple other girls I didn’t even know the names of yet. Hayden came straight over to me and put her arms around me. I stepped back. I mean, sisterhood was one thing, but we weren’t close like that. There was no need to act like it was all good between us. Last time I’d seen these girls, they’d been dogging me out.

  “I’m so sorry to hear about your mom,” Hayden said, stepping farther into my space.

  Malloy said, “I’m sorry, I know it’s got to be hard. And I didn’t mean to betray you, if that’s how you feel. But we’re here because we are one group. When one goes through something, we all got to go through it. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

  They all gave me the saddest looks. I just stared back. The mean stares I had gotten the day before from the chapter—those stares were gone. The sincerity in their faces, the pity they felt, the empathy—it was all real. I fell to my knees, thinking about my mom, what she was going through and the fact that this was real, and I guess I didn’t need to go through it alone. I did appreciate that they cared. Though Malloy had crossed the privacy line, in my book, I guessed that was a blessing. It was just hard. I’d been telling them more about myself than I ever thought I would to anyone.

  “My mother lost her job last year. I know that’s caused her a ton of stress. Her best friend’s family got deported last year. It’s just been one thing after another, and she’s been having these headaches, and who knew it was a tumor? Maybe if she would have gone to the doctor earlier, maybe if she’d ...”

  “You can’t do any of that to yourself,” Hayden encouraged. “We just got to let go and trust and pray that a miracle can happen. If we all collectively agree together, you don’t know what God will do.”

  I hugged her tight. The walls I had built slowly came tumbling down. I had sisters, and I felt—no, I knew—they cared.

  As I walked across the campus to meet some dumb tutor who was going to help me pass my summer class, I was severely agitated. I had had several tutors before in Texas, and none of them had ever helped me. They’d always been so arrogant, such know-it-alls. Never wanted to try to understand why I, a dummy, couldn’t get what they knew to be easy. So, yeah, I had a chip on my shoulder. Just because they had been tutoring for free, they didn’t have to act like it was my fault they didn’t have a life. I mean, shucks, most of them were ugly anyway.

  But not this time. It wasn’t going to be easy to concentrate when the other person getting tutored was so fine.

  “About time you got here,” he said, snapping at me before he even asked me my name. “You are five minutes late.”

  “Five minutes late—like that’s such a big deal. I’m here, and where’s the tutor anyway? They could’ve started tutoring you—I can catch up.”

  “First of all, I’m the tutor,” he said as my mouth dropped open.

  I’d never met a fine tutor until I walked into room number 205, and I just knew the brown brother—in his early twenties, with a frame that showed me he worked out—could not be a tutor. No way.

  “And if you could catch up, you wouldn’t need to be in here anyway. This is one-on-one tutoring, not two-on-one. My time is very valuable.”

  All the attraction I had felt when I’d first walked through the door flew over my head. This dude was a jerk.

  “All right, fine then, let’s get to it. You’re the one standing up,” I said as I quickly plopped in a seat and opened my book.

  “You’re on the wrong chapter,” he said, even though I was on the exact page we had been going over in class.

  “This is what we did today.”

  “Yeah, but looking at your grades, we need to go back to the beginning of the book so you can clearly understand. It’s like a building block—if the foundation isn’t strong, everything else is going to crumble.”

  “Okay, whatever. Let’s just start. How long is this thing going to be, anyway?”

  “Trust me, I don’t want to be in here any longer than we need to be. But I mean, really, you sort of need to lose the attitude.”

  “Me lose the attitude?” I said. “I just walked in, and you’re getting all over me about a few little minutes of being late. You’re acting like I’m not taking this seriously. I couldn’t find the place, okay?”

  “My number was on the tutoring form. See—right there. ‘Cody Foxx. If any problems, please call.’ There it is, right there. My cell didn’t ring.”

  “I don’t have a cell phone, okay, and I do need to pass this class. If you’re here to help me do that, maybe we got off on the wrong foot.”

  “All right, cool. Let’s start.”

  As much as I tried to resist liking the process, an hour into the session, we were already on chapter four, and I clearly understood the material. This Foxx had such a way of breaking it down and explaining. But then he went and “looked” at me. Most men look at me when they want to get with me. He was supposed to be teaching me something, and he was flirting.

  “Uh, don’t stare at me, stare at the book.”

  He squinted his eyes. “I don’t understand. I’m waiting on you to respond. I just asked you a question. Now I need my answer.”

  Had I misjudged the glance? Did he have me so wrapped up that I was the one tripping? Not even hearing that he’d asked me a question? Okay, what was going on here? I didn’t even know this guy, and my heart was slightly racing. I didn’t like being out of control. I shouldn’t forget that he was a smart mouth and an unpleasant worm.

  “We’ve covered four chapte
rs—that’s enough for today,” I said as I grabbed my book, trying to gather myself.

  “Yeah, I guess it’s time for us to go. What am I thinking? I can’t give you extra time.”

  We both stood at the same time, and though he towered over me, we were close. It seemed like our bodies wanted to mingle, but that couldn’t happen. He was the tutor; I was the student. No line could be crossed. So, without saying anything, we walked out of the classroom and went our separate ways. I took a deep breath, thinking, What in the world was that all about? Wow.

  The nearby sister chapter was having a back-to-school jam. It was supposedly an annual affair for them. The girls in my Western Smith chapter were a little uneasy about going because they hadn’t had any interaction with the sister chapter since the sister chapter had lost a member in the hazing car accident last semester. I was in the car with Hayden, Bea, and Sharon on our way to the jam.

  “Penelope goes to school up here now,” Hayden said. “Oh, Alyx, sorry—Penelope is our former chapter soror who got suspended for hazing us.”

  “She’s in grad school here?” Sharon said.

  “Yep.”

  “Wow, that’s great,” Bea said.

  “She’s supposed to be having some kind of preparty for us at her place,” Hayden said.

  “With drinks and stuff?” Bea said as she looked at me.

  “I am not going to be all wild,” I responded.

  “Oh, we know you’re not. You ain’t drinking nothing,” Bea joked. “Everyone else in the car is a senior—not you, Miss Margarita.”

  “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,” I joked.

  When we got to her place, there were Betas from the other school. Everyone gave hugs, and the sorors said they were still coping with the death of Rose from the car accident. They said they still missed her but were doing better. I hadn’t gone through all that with them, so I felt left out. I found a couch and just sat.

  Hearing words of their loss made me sad as I thought about my mom. Yeah, she was here now, but how would I feel when she was gone? Could I cope? Could I get through my pain? Could I keep on going?

  Then this guy plopped down beside me. I could tell his larger body wasn’t that of a female without even looking up.

  “Why you looking so glum?” the husky voice said in my ear.

  “Why do you care?” I said and then wanted to take back those words when I locked eyes with Cody Foxx.

  “It’s you,” I said with excitement I couldn’t explain.

  “Yep, it’s me.”

  Calming myself, I said, “I thought nerds didn’t do anything but study. You’re forty miles away from campus at a sorority party. What are you doing here?”

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “I’m a Beta.”

  “I never would have thought that.”

  “Why? Because I’m Spanish?” I said as my neck rolled. “It isn’t only an African American sorority, you know? Plus, I didn’t pledge here.”

  “Oh, I didn’t mean you shouldn’t be a Beta because of your ethnicity. I meant because Betas get their work done, and you ... well ... need I say more?”

  He was trying to make a joke, but he wasn’t funny. I had a lot going on, and I thought for a second he would be a breath of fresh air. But maybe he wasn’t all that different from all the other guys.

  “I put my foot in my mouth big-time. I didn’t mean to make you sad again. You’re too cute to look gloomy,” he said.

  Butterflies flew in my belly. He’d just called me cute. But before I could even respond, Malloy walked into the place, came over, and grabbed me.

  “I want you to meet everybody,” she said.

  I looked back at Cody, and he smiled. I tried to keep my eyes on him for some strange reason, but then one girl grabbed him. Then another soror started chatting with him, and the next thing I knew he was with the host, Penelope. I had to ask Malloy the scoop on them.

  Malloy told me they supposedly used to date when she’d gone to Western Smith, and now they were sort of in the middle of trying to work out all that. Obviously Cody was older than I was, and he definitely thought I was underusing my talents. But there was something that intrigued me about him. As I was watching him, he was watching me.

  Malloy saw where my eyes were focused. She hit me in the side and said, “Uh, I don’t know what you’re drooling over, but you can’t have him. That’s a soror’s man. So don’t even think about it.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” I said. “That’s my tutor. I know him.”

  “And I can tell he wants to really, really get to know you. But, again, there will be none of that. That’s a soror’s man.”

  I didn’t know Penelope, and, yeah, we were sorors, but I could convince myself that my relationship with Cody was a professional one. I told Malloy there was absolutely no way anything was going to happen between Cody and me. But then Cody came over to me and said, “You’ll be on time tomorrow for our session, right? I really want to see you there.”

  I hung on his every word. I simply nodded, and he walked away. Malloy hit me harder in the ribs that time.

  “I’m serious, Alyx. You cannot talk to him. Y’all got something going on; I clearly see it. I hope Penelope doesn’t see it, because you talking to her man would be a serious breach.”

  5

  GASP

  Oh, I had to admit Malloy’s boyfriend was fine. I was sitting in the stands at the New York Giants NFL game, which was a whole different world from my little Texas country one. Malloy was cheering on her man, and Torian and Loni were on the other side of her cheering on their feet, too. I was sitting down. I mean, I didn’t know Kade. He had gotten us game tickets and flight tickets to come out there; plus, we were chilling at his place. I was a fan, but I was just relaxing. I was taking in the sights. I was at a pro game. It was so cool.

  All of a sudden, the crowd screams died down, and a hush came over the crowd. Malloy screamed out, and Torian put her arm around her. Loni’s face displayed sadness.

  Without thinking, I said, “What the heck is wrong with y’all? This is a football game. People fall down all the time.”

  Loni said, “Shut up! Quit being so insensitive. Her man is hurt, for real.”

  I could have slapped myself when I stood up, looked over the crowd, and saw number fifty laid out on the ground, not moving. I didn’t know much about football, but I remembered my uncles and my brothers always saying when the trainers and folks from the sidelines came out with a stretcher, it was not good.

  “I gotta go down there and see him. I gotta figure out what’s going on. This is horrible. Oh, my God! He’s not moving his legs!”

  “He’s gonna be okay,” Torian said, holding her girl up.

  How do you know? I thought, but I realized Torian had said that because she was trying to be there for her sister.

  “Let’s go. We’re gonna go down there,” I said.

  Malloy panicked. “They’re not gonna let me down there to see him. I don’t have that kind of pass. He needs me. This is so bad.”

  “Yes, you do! You have the pass for after the game. That’s enough to get someone to tell us something.”

  “I’m not his wife or anything like that,” Malloy said as she walked to the aisle and tried to keep herself together.

  “I’ll go down there and take you,” a lady behind us said in a worried tone.

  She was white, and she had the biggest ring I’d ever seen in my life. She was decked from head to toe.

  “I’m Karen, the quarterback’s wife. You’re Kade’s girlfriend. He might need you right now. This looks pretty bad.”

  Malloy hugged Karen. Then we followed Karen up the stairs and then down a private elevator. Everyone knew who she was, and it was obvious why: her husband had it going on.

  Malloy was a complete wreck, and Torian and Loni had her back, holding her up, rubbing her arms, telling her over and over it was going to be okay. When we got off the elevator, the lady said something to some gu
ards, and the next thing we knew we were in a waiting area that looked pretty private and official while Karen was outside trying to get information.

  “He worked so hard for this moment,” Malloy said as tears dropped down her face. “People didn’t wanna draft him because they said he was injury prone. He’d done so much to prove them wrong. All preseason he’d dominated, and now in the second game he goes completely down. How can I encourage him?”

  Karen came in and over to Malloy. “He broke his ankle, and he’s out for eight weeks. He’s pretty devastated, but he wants to see you.”

  “I can’t go in there,” Malloy said, shaking. “I can’t tell him it’s all right. I know he’s upset—”

  “No, no, you can tell him,” Torian said. “You can be strong. You can get him through this.”

  “Yes because his training’s going to be crucial,” Karen said. “A positive attitude will make all the difference.”

  Loni said, “And you know that’s why you’re here.”

  “I’m here for us to enjoy this weekend together after the game. Now we’ll be at some hospital.”

  Torian said, “But you’ll be there together.”

  I whispered, “And you’re here because you support your man. Don’t let him see you all down and out. Help lift him up. You can do this.”

  “Okay, okay, I can do this,” Malloy said as she wiped her eyes and then left the room with Karen.

  Torian and Loni just hugged each other like they were going through this as deeply as Malloy was. I could feel Malloy’s pain. It was a surreal moment. I was in awe of their friendship. It was major.

  Kade was all settled down in his apartment, and Malloy was content with taking care of him. Torian and Loni were okay with that, but I had come to New York to have a good time. Sitting around watching a football player recover wasn’t my idea of fun.