V: And with those profound thoughts, I think we will end this interview! Next week is Claudius, and I have a feeling I will be doing the honors again!
**********
Claudius
This is Verchiel, filling in for Katelina. You see, today’s interviewee is Claudius, who some of you might remember has devoted time to… well, let’s just say he’s been out to get her. Because of their, erm, past, she refused to interview him, so I stepped up - again!
Aren’t they lucky to have me?
Claudius: Oh, it’s you. Wonderful.
V: Don’t sound so excited to see me! Geeze! The enthusiasm-
C: Can we get on with this?
V: Oh, all right. Despite the fact that most of the readers hate you, there were a few questions for you.
C: They only hate me because they’ve been force fed the story through Jorick and his human’s eyes. If they looked at it the other way around, one assumes they would be intelligent enough-
V: Hey, hey, let’s not insult the readers, huh? I happen to be quite fond of them!
C: I wasn’t insulting them. I was merely stating that they haven’t been permitted to see the other side of it. Let me kidnap their mate and see how they feel about it then.
V: You know, there’s a school of thought out there which says you didn’t really love Arowenia, anyway…
C: And who’s made that determination? Who has the right to decide what is love and what is not or who loves and who does not?
V: You know, if you’d just SAY it, it would go a long way towards convincing people.
C: I don’t need to “convince” anyone! What I feel or do not feel is of no consequence to anyone but myself! *narrows eyes* Why are you here, again?
V: Because it was me or Kately, and after… well, you know…
C: Oh. Her. Jorick’s annoying human. Or Patrick’s. Or whoever she belonged to. It gives me a headache trying to decipher it. If given the choice between the two of you, then I must say you’re the better option, though only just. Ask the questions and get on with it.
V: I’m going to pretend that was a compliment! First from Sue, “You became a vampire in the 1500s, I believe. What advances in the world today amaze you the most?”
C: An interesting question. One is not so much an advance, but a shift in social attitude. I find it intriguing that in the New World bloodlines don’t carry the value they did, or even still do, in the more civilized world. That paternity, or even maternity, no longer matters is an interesting concept with both pros and cons. As far as advances, such as technology, I find most of it too noisy and distracting. There are televisions, cellphones, radios. Every moment is bombarded with noise and the pouring out of someone else’s ideas, thoughts or feelings. It’s no wonder that the modern world is stilted and unoriginal. One cannot have an original idea because their mind is too overrun with everyone else’s ideas.
V: I don’t know. I rather like TV. But for the sake of the interview, let’s move on. From Donna, “Claudius, so many are afraid of you and you act like a tough guy, but in reality, without your body guards around, you seemed like a frightened squirrel. Was there a time when you were really ‘tough’?”
C: *opens mouth*Snaps it shut*takes deep breath* Ah yes, more of Jorick and Oren’s propaganda, I imagine. Like so many things, tough is subjective, but if you mean was I ever forced to ‘take care of myself’ then the answer is yes. Francoise, my maker, was little more than useless in many ways, and her coven - which was scarcely more than a pack of dogs - was even less so. I spent many years fighting, not only for my position, but just to exist, as I had when I was mortal. There comes a point when one wearies of having to fight. The intelligent person then creates a group of people to do the fighting for them…
V: Speaking of your maker, from Juli, “Claudius, I assume that you murdered your maker, but tell us “officially” how you parted company with Francoise?”
C: Ah. Yes. Francoise. You are correct that I “removed” her when it proved necessary to do so. She was… how shall I say it? She was common, yes, but she was also condescending and she had all the qualities of a large anchor, weighing me down and holding me back from achieving any kind of lasting greatness. Not only by her ridiculous rules, but also because she was determined to remind me on a nearly nightly basis of exactly where I had come from. Eventually the time came when she needed to be reminded where SHE came from. The fact that she shared immortality with me only stretched so far. Should a child shower praise and devotion on an unworthy parent?
V: That’s an interesting example, but they don’t usually KILL them…
C: You deal with it your way, and I shall deal with it mine. Next.
V: Whatever. This one is also from Donna, “Picking on a human to get even with Jorick, knowing Jorick’s personality, wasn’t that rather, um, dumb?”
C: What was dumb was not killing her. Had I known that Jorick was really as attached to her as he is, I would have done so. Not that it would have equaled what he did to me. Perhaps you’ve forgotten what he did to my mate - who had been with me for centuries? Though, because I’m not the main character, the death of MY companion doesn’t matter, is that it?
V: Um, actually, we can’t get into too much of this or we’ll spoil the plot of the first book.
C: For whom? Hasn’t everyone who’s ever going to read those dreadful books already done so? I can’t really imagine that a hack author like this could continue to draw new fans.
V: Weirdly enough, it does happen. Wait, I don’t mean it’s weird. Our author is great. So great, in fact, that she should quit doing book covers and start writing full time. I’m seeing a “Verchiel” spin-off series.
C: Please. What would that entail? “Verchiel breezed in, made a few comments that failed to be amusing and then breezed out again, all the while doing nothing of any importance.” There. I’ve completed the series for you. You and our hack author are both welcome.
V: That wasn’t very nice. Here’s another question, though you’re not in the newest book, Ashes of Deceit, some former members of your coven are. How do you feel about their new affiliations?
C: Which ones? That Hectia refused to submit is cheering to a point, but that Kale and Joseff… Well, there are laws, aren’t there? If one puts aside their personal feelings, they can acknowledge that Kale was forced to follow the laws and his newest alliance, while it is enough to make my blood boil, is advantageous for him. One must always choose the most advantageous path and not allow sentimentality to cloud one’s judgment, so in that respect he has done well.
V: interesting you should say that. Since this is the special version of the interview, I’ll let you in on something; Jorick didn’t kill Arowenia. Kateesha did.
C: Kateesha! That sniveling bitch! I knew I should have killed her!
V: If it makes you feel better, Katelina already did it.
C: Really? Good. I shall look for her in the afterlife and see if it is possible to string her entrails from one side of hell to the other!
V: I’ve got another bombshell for you. Troy was in on it.
C: What? No… You’re mistaken. Troy was many things; crude, common, lude, blood thirsty, but...
V: Those are the facts.
C: Why?
V: Because he was a sick bastard. Or maybe he was mad that Patrick and Michael got killed. Huh? Huh? Know what I mean? Okay, I can see that you don’t. Man, you don’t know anything, do you? Someone needs to give you a copy of the Patrick prequel.
And with that we’re out of time! The next interview is Oren, whom I believe Jorick is going to interview. Fun, fun!
.**********
Oren
This is Jorick. I’m filling in for Katelina because today’s interviewee is my fledgling Oren and-
Oren: -And I have no interest in answering questions, let alone from her. Why are we doing this?
J: It was part of the ridiculous contract that our hack author roped us into, if you’ll remember. Let’s get t
his over with, shall we? *shuffles papers*. I assume I’m supposed to pick through these…
O: No, I think you have to ask them all.
J: Wonderful. I’ll warn you, they’re an unruly lot. You should have seen the things they asked me - my underwear, for God’s sake!
O: I’m not answering underwear questions.
J: That’s a pity, because you have one. From Sharon S., “Did he bring his big girl panties to the interview?”
O: I assume that’s clever slang.
J: Yes, I think so. Oh, here’s one, from a Jonathan - Oh, I know who HE is. He’s that writer who keeps pairing me and Katelina with that ridiculous Vampire Willy. Anyway, he asked, “Can I have Oren’s sister’s phone number?”
O: *rolls eyes* Torina doesn’t have her own phone, and this is precisely why. We have one cellphone which we share and no, you may not have the number. She’s a big enough -I think you can imagine the word - already.
J: A lot of words fit, but they all have essentially the same meaning. Moving on, here’s one from Sue, “I’ve read about your life in the south during the civil war. Granted it wasn’t your war but was all the blood shed (yummy) worth it to the humans?”
O: They thought so. To be honest, I was on the southern side, for the most part. I wasn’t really interested in the bureaucrats in the north telling us what to do. On the other hand, the Vampire government has been doing the same thing since it started. They have one centralized location and tell everyone, hundreds of miles away, what to do, even though they aren’t there and have no idea of the individual circumstances. I will say that the war between the states made it easier to find food. If you waited, it would walk to your door wearing blue and carrying a gun.
J: Yes, it did, didn’t it? I remember once I found some in the barns. They were quite surprised.
O: *snickers* I imagine. All right, what’s next?
J: Let me see. We have this from Juli, the first part is not really a question, but I think you should hear it anyway, “First of all, I wanted to say that I am SOOO sorry for your losses. I can’t even try to imagine how difficult it would be to lose a spouse and children as violently as you lost yours. Again, I’m so sorry. You also had a great deal of losses when you were human. I’ve read that illness took more of your children before you were transformed. You’ve experienced so much sorrow in your long life. It must be very difficult for you. Again, I can’t even imagine!”
O: Erm. Well. Yes. *looks uncomfortable* Jesslynn gave birth eight times though only Alexander and Tristan lived to be older than five months, but of course, we know how that ended.
J: *clears throat* Well, yes. Here’s the question part of it, “I would like to think there must have been SOME happiness in your life, once, even if it was long ago. Do you ever look to the future and think that, maybe someday, you will find happiness again?”
O: Oh, there’s been happiness. No one can live and have all of only one thing or the other. I remember when I married Jesslynn and we were… happy. My mother wasn’t, of course. Jesslynn wasn’t… what’s the word I want? Flouncy enough? She didn’t giggle and bat her eyelashes and flirt over her fan. As to whether I see future happiness… I don’t know.
J: Time heals all things.
O: Does it? *looks away* Next question. I’d like to get this over with.
J: Yes, of course. While we’re on the subject, there are a couple more from Juli. “Sometimes talking about our deceased loved ones helps. Would you mind sharing a memory or two concerning your family?”
O: Is this necessary?
J: Since your fan club president isn’t here, Juli has been the only understanding commenter so far, in fact she said, and I quote, “he’s grown on me throughout the series. Over the years, (months in Amaranthine time) he’s become one of my favorite characters!”
O: In that case, all right. I remember when Alexander was born. It was storming… Hmm. No. That’s not very interesting. Let me think. I remember the summer Bethina came to stay with us. She was still human then. She talked Alexander into wanting fireworks, and he spent a month relentlessly asking about them. He never whined or threw a tantrum, but at every turn it was, “Father, have you thought about the fireworks?” Of course he got them, in the end. Jesslynn forbade his lighting them, so Bethina did it for him. He would call out which one he wanted next and she’d send it up. He was quite enchanted with them and after that we had to get them periodically. Though they changed the laws shortly after to limit what was available. Alexander was especially sad to see the “Cherry Bombs” go, though I never understood why. They were just noise. At least the roman candles had colors and such. The interesting thing was that, even after Bethina went… well, after she was turned and things went a bit wrong, she still lit the fireworks for him. It was one of the things she’d held onto, I guess.
J: Ah. Here’s another question, “What did you love most about your wife?”
O: She was strong. She could survive on her own. She didn’t need me, or anyone else to coddle her, or protect her, or take care of her. She was intelligent, sharp witted and knew her own mind without needing me to tell it to her, as so many women did - and still do, for that matter. I see stories on television even of modern, supposed enlightened women who will allow men to do atrocious things to them rather than be alone. Jesslynn would never have stood for that. I raised my hand only once to her - it was accepted in those days - and that was over my mother. She’d insulted her to her face. Of course, you can’t have that, wife or no. Jesslynn hit me back, harder than I had ever hit her, and told me if I ever so much as considered that again she’d bury me in the cemetery next to my father. I believe she meant it.
J: Hmm. Yes, very enlightened for a woman of her times. This is from Sue, and seems to go along with the general theme, “And really - you wanted to keep your family with you always, but a vampire baby, or even your older son, to be a child forever? It wasn’t fair to them. But then you were only thinking of yourself I guess, as you usually do.”
O: No, I wasn’t thinking of anything because I didn’t do it. That was Jesslynn. I told her not to, but she was convinced they would both die the way the others had if she didn’t do it immediately. I believe Alexander would have lived to adult hood, but she was right about Tristan. He was already showing the same symptoms as the others. He had no more than a month left. It’s a complex question - was it right or wrong - and at the moment I don’t feel philosophical.
J: You know my opinion on it.
O: As a matter of fact, I do. And you know my opinion on some of your choices.
J: Like Katelina, perhaps? Interesting you brought that up, as Juli also asked, “Do you ever think you’ll be able to accept Katelina in Jorick’s life?”
O: Do I have a choice? She is ALWAYS there, like a bad penny or a skin blemish. It wouldn’t be as bad if she wasn’t so mind numbingly weak! The simplest tasks elude her, and she can never, ever defend herself, or anyone else for that matter!
J: And who else should she defend?
O: Next question.
J: All right, then here’s the last one from Juli, “You managed to keep your family “under the radar” from the Executioners for many years. Do you blame Jorick for leading them to your home? What about Katelina?”
O: No, I don’t blame Jorick or even her for bringing them there, that was Patrick’s fault for telling Michael where Arowenia was. They’d have come even if Jorick wasn’t there, but I do blame the insipid human for what happened after they arrived. How hard is it to hide in a concealed room? It isn’t difficult, and yet she couldn’t manage it because Jorick wasn’t there to do it for her!
J: I understand you’re still emotional about it, but be careful where you tread.
O: It’s true. You insisted we put her in there with the children and Bethina, and what happened? They found them! We both know it was her scent that attracted them! You said they wouldn’t notice with all the human servants running around - we sacrificed them, Jorick! We willingly lef
t all the servants out in the open as a distraction and yet the Executioners still found the children and your pathetic little human and-
J: Enough! Moving on, there are two final questions from Donna. “You’re kind of a grumper, like a diabetic without enough insulin. Have you thought about increasing how often you ‘eat’?”
O: I’ve thought about changing my diet, if that’s what you mean. I can think of someone who would make an excellent dinner and afterwards I’m sure the world would seem a far rosier place.
J: What did I say?
O: About what?
J: Don’t play stupid. I know what you meant.
O: Of course you do! You know everything! I imagine you know the answer to the final question, don’t you?
J: Yes, I do. The question is, “You’re so damned good-looking. Why haven’t you found some new lover?” And the answer is because no woman would put up with you.
O: With me? Ha! I’m far easier to get along with than you are! You’re overbearing and condescending!
J: Only because you need to be told what to do, not to mention you’re whiny, melodramatic, and you talk everything to death!
O: Excuse me if I want to make sure that there is a viable plan in place first.
J: Viable? Hardly! The plans are never viable! They’re always halfcocked and ridiculous, but we talk about them for hours anyway, we just never improve them!
O: Do you think you could do better? If so, you’re more than welcome to try!
J: Of course I could-
*Katelina interrupts* No, he couldn’t. *she grabs Jorick’s arm*. He’s not joining anything, planning anything, or helping in anything. There. Was I being a strong enough woman for you?
Amaranthine Special Edition Vol II Page 66