M: The last question comes from Bonnie, “Do you have strong feelings for Verchiel, and are they sisterly or something else?”
K: If you call wanting to smack him in the head a strong feeling, then sure.
M: And on the same topic from Donna, “do you have mixed feelings between Jorick and Verchiel?”
K: As I said, “thwak!”
M: *cough*denial?*cough*Now that we’re out of reader questions, I have a few I’d like to ask. How much thought did you give before committing yourself to a vampire?
K: Honestly? None. It just happened.
M: Aside from the danger, do you ever wish you could have just a normal relationship?
K: Define normal *laughs*. If you take out the vampire portion, I think we’re just as normal as most couples. At the very least we’re as normal as our lazy author and her husband.
M: What were your past relationships like?
K: Hm. Well, Patrick was…Patrick is an example of not normal. I didn’t know at the time what we were to one another and looking back I still don’t know. There was a time after he died where I got lost in this pity pit and had decided I was madly in love with him, but I don’t know. Mainly we just got together and watched TV or slept together and both pretended we had someone. Before him I dated some other guys but none of them were serious. There was one guy - Todd - who wanted to get serious a few years ago and I admit, I ran. The problem has always been that I had time to think about it, and when I think, I panic and when I panic, I run. With Jorick there wasn’t time to think about the commitment issues until it was too late and I was already committed.
M: What is it about Jorick that appeals to you?
K: Besides the fact that he’s hawt? Seriously though, he’s sexy, scarred enough to need comforted now and then, but not so emo as to be whining all the time. Then he’s like the alpha on the block and he can crush pretty much anyone he wants to.
M: Frankly he seems kinda disrespectful of you sometimes, just sayin’. My sweetie except for his job - which is a big issue - treats me very well.
K: I’ve never found him particularly disrespectful, just kind of tactless, sometimes. He’s from a different time and then he played the hermit card for a hundred years. But I think he treats me well. He makes sure I have all the things I need, even though he hasn’t had to worry about human things in a long, long time. It has to take a lot of effort on his part to think of them and take them into account all the time. But, vampire stuff aside, he’s a man, and men are never perfect.
M: Sometimes his honesty with you seems a bit lacking. My sweetie, due to his past, is always honest even if it may hurt me.
K: He’s not really dishonest - he doesn’t lie, just withholds sometimes, but he’s getting better. He’s not used to having a partner who is a partner, but rather one who is almost a child-like role. He plays the big protector and keeps them wrapped in terry cloth and they never know about the dangers of the world. That’s supposed to be the “ideal” man, or was for a long time, and so he has to battle that ideal.
M: When you two fight how does it make you feel?
K: The same as when anyone fights, I guess. Usually it just makes me mad.
M: Does he usually win?
K: No, I do. In the end he always caves in to what I want, though he’d never admit it.
M: Would you rather let him win than leave?
K: It hasn’t really been a problem…
M: You almost left him once. How would he feel if you did?
K: That was mainly miscommunication, but I think he made his feelings pretty clear then. I think if I blew up and left, he’d wait about an hour, and then storm after me and haul me home.
M: You don’t seem to have any friends of your own - it’s just his friends. Do you wish you did have friends?
K: Yes, and that’s actually addressed quite a bit in the fourth book.
M: My sweetie and I argue as each of us holds a different fundamental view on life. We have different philosophies. We agree to disagree. What about you and Jorick?
K: We have very different philosophies on some things. Mainly he’s just misguided and needs someone to show him the light *winks*. I’m working on it, but it takes a long time to undo hundreds of years of bad habits.
And with that we’re out of time. Thanks so much to Mistress for volunteering to help out today and to everyone who submitted a question! Next up is Patrick, which may take some doing.
**********
Patrick: The Resurrection Ceremony
It is a small, dark room. In the center is a circle of scarlet candles. Flames flicker from their tips and cast dancing shadows on the bare walls. Outside, lightning flashes and thunder follows. The rolling boom echoes like a timpani drum in a macabre symphony.
Someone enters through a low doorway. Slightly stooped, the woman straightens and looks around, checking to be sure everything is as it should be. The resurrection ceremony can begin!
The woman shuffles across the room to a large, dusty book. She hefts its bulk and flips the worn pages, seeking the right words to bring back the dead. Lightning flashes again, and the thunder follows. As the last echoes die, she begins a low, eerie chant-
“I don’t know if I can actually find Patrick! He’s only had - what? Two sentences up to now? And that was a flashback?” Insanely, her voice changes pitch, as if there is a second person talking through her, “Oh come on, Jo! You can do it! Suck it up!”
With a heavy sigh she waves her hand and mumbles unintelligible words. A shimmery form begins to materialize before her. It takes shape and becomes more solid. Soon, a character can be seen. A young man in his mid-twenties with messy blonde hair and a lip ring. He is dressed all in black and looks confused.
“What? Where am I?”
The woman snaps the book shut and drops it back to the stack of random papers in the corner. “Don’t play the mystified character to me. Let’s just get on with this, huh?”
The young man takes a step back. “Get on with what?”
“Your interview.” She blows out the candles one by one. Smoke curls from the dead wicks in little black puffs. “There was a poll. Some people voted for you, blah, blah, blah, now they want to ask you questions.”
His eyes are suddenly guarded. “What people? Who are you?”
She stops, hands on hips, her expression one of annoyance. “Quit playing dumb. I’m your author, as you well know. And the people are your readers. Well, sort of. They’ve read about you. I realize you haven’t gotten to do much because I killed you off on page one, so now’s your chance.”
Patrick scowls. “Why the hell did you kill me off, anyway?”
The author shrugs. “I don’t know. I was trying to come up with something for nano-wri-mo and I was reading Anita Blake at the time, and she had all these gleaming spinal columns and I thought ‘Hey! I need a gleaming spinal column’ so - poof! - you were born so you could be dead. Besides, it gave Katelina some turmoil, and explained what she was doing at a deserted house.”
“Not really. What was she doing there?”
“Meeting Jorick, of course! Now listen, I’m going to send you in to be interviewed in a minute-”
“What in the hell was she meeting him for?!?”
The woman frowns and taps an impatient foot. “She couldn’t hook up with him if she didn’t meet him, now could she? As I was saying-”
“What!? Katelina and Jorick hooked up?! How the hell did that happen?”
The woman grumbles to herself and shuffles through the pile of books and papers. “Here” She hands Patrick a copy of a book titled Shades of Gray. “If you want the nity - grity details read that. Meanwhile, I need to get you prepped for your interview.”
Patrick ignores her and flips absently through the book. His eyes dart over the pages and catch stray words, sentences; scenes. Then, he shouts, “What in the fuck? He’s having sex with her? Are you serious?”
The author snatches the book away and flings it back into the pil
e. “Yeah, they had sex. They’ve had sex several times. They’re living together, all right? Now can we get to the important stuff?”
That IS important!” His words break off into an unintelligible tangle that sounds like “ergh!”
“As I’ve been trying to say, Verchiel is going to interview you. He’s a… well... I don’t know if he’s a good guy, but he’s a good character. You could learn a lot from him. He wouldn’t stand there and shout ‘ergh’ at me. He’d nod along and say I was brilliant, and then add a plug for his own spin off series - which he isn’t getting, by the way.”
“Spin offs? You’re talking spin offs with some Vermicelli guy and you killed me on page one? What the hell?”
A buzzer sounds.
The author grabs Patrick by the arm and hauls him towards the low doorway. “Yeah, yeah, you can bitch later. Right now you have to go on. So get out there, answer the questions and for the love of God watch your mouth. I know the kind of stuff you’re capable of saying!”
He turns to her and asks coldly, “How can you know? I’ve never had a chance to say anything!”
“Call it author’s intuition.” And with those words she shoves him through the door.
**********
Patrick: The Interview
This is Verchiel, filling in for Katelina. You see, today’s interviewee is Patrick, who some of you might remember is sort of Kately’s ex, in a manner of speaking, and we all thought it would be a bit out there to have her interview him. Okay, not all of us. I was for it. I thought it could be really fun, but I got outvoted, so here I am.
Please welcome Patrick who, I can safely say without spoiling the plot for anyone, is dead. Yes, this should be an interesting interview.
Verchiel: Hello Patrick, and welcome back!
Patrick: Who are you, again? You look vaguely familiar.
V: Let’s just say I’m the cool guy and get to the questions. Wait, you do know what’s going on, right?
P: Yeah. Jo prepped me after the resurrection ceremony, so just ask the questions.
V: Resurrection ceremony? Why didn’t I get invited? Moving on, our first question comes from Juli (with no e - hey there! *winks*) “Which vampire first approached you and your brother, and how exactly did you get involved with Claudius and his coven?”
P: Oh, that. My stupid brother, Michael, got involved with them. He’d just got out of jail for meth possession and Mom said if he wanted to live with her he had to work, so he got a part time job mowing the yard for Claudius’ big mansion. There was hardly anyone around when he was there, so he started casing the place out. He had this insane plan to try to rob them. I dunno exactly what went down, but my brother disappeared for like six months, then popped back up and was suddenly a vampire. He’s the one that got me dragged into the whole mess because he hated being Claudius’s servant and wanted out, only they wouldn’t let him out. I dunno what he thought I was gonna do about it, but I couldn’t tell him no. He was my younger brother, you know? And then we ran into Asshole *scowls*.
V: Asshole?
P: *pulls out a cigarette and lights it* Yeah, Jorick.
V: Ah, I guess you’ve heard.
P: Heard about what? That Kate’s fucking that prick? Yeah, I heard. But what the fuck ever. Next question.
V: Here’s another one from Juli, “What was your reaction when you discovered that vampires were real?”
P: I dunno. I got drunk for a few days. I mean how do you deal with the idea that there’s these blood sucking monsters and your stupid ass brother is one of them? It was just unreal. I don’t think anything felt real from that moment on.
V: With that in mind, here’s one from Donna, “Patrick, why didn’t you break it off with Katelina once you were involved with vampires?”
P: I was already tangled up with them when I met her. That’s part of why we never had a real relationship, coz I kept waiting until I was away from them; I didn’t want her dragged into that shit. And I kept thinking it was just a matter of time before Claudius killed me. He’d already marked me, like I was his property. I know, I shoulda walked away from her after that first night.
V: Why didn’t you?
P: I dunno. She was just so… normal. I was trapped in a fucking nightmare with Claudius and Michael and when I was with her it was like suddenly waking up and finding out all of that shit was just a bad dream and that the world really wasn’t all nighttime and blood and dead girls in fountains. And she didn’t ask any questions or demand anything, even when I disappeared for weeks. I guess she probably thought I was on some kind of drug binge or something.
V: You kind of look the part. Ahem. Sorry, you’re just the complete opposite of old’ gloomy gus. I have a hard time imagining you and Kately together. How did you meet her, anyway?
P: It was in a bar. I was hitting it hard - fuck I don’t even remember why - something to do with Claudius and that shit - and she came up and talked to me. I think she was trying to piss off her friend. She was there with that Sarah chick. It worked, and Sarah left, and somehow I ended up back at Katelina’s place. Her friend never liked me coz I wasn’t like her straight laced, rod up the ass boyfriend “Bwad”. But I’m used to that. I never fit in in that stupid town. I didn’t dress right, didn’t listen to the right music, didn’t do the right things. Fuck that. Fuck all of them.
V: You certainly have some anger issues. Is that how you and old Mr. Grumpy-Boots got to be friends?
P: *takes violent puff of cigarette* Yeah, whatever. We met him while he was out hunting - it wasn’t even two weeks since I’d found out what Michael was. I think I was still drunk. Anyway, he came off as this strong type and so a couple weeks later when Michael and I were talking about how we could get him away from Claudius, Michael thought of Jorick and since we knew he wasn’t one of Claudius’s gang we went looking for him. Ironic now that I think about it. We basically ASKED to get fucked over.
V: Speaking of Jorick, here’s another one from Donna, “Why, of all vampires, did you ask Jorick to keep an eye on Katelina?”
P: Because I was a retard, that’s why! I trusted that asshole! He was like those strong silent types from all the cowboy movies my grandpa used to watch and, I dunno, I guess I just expected him to be some kind of hero.
V: *snickers* No comment. From Sydney Cordova, “If you could go back, would you have warned Katelina?”
P: I’ve had some time to think about this and though I want to say yes, the real answer is no. I wouldn’t expect her to believe the stories without some kind of proof and there’s no way I’d have shown her any. It’s stupid but, dragging her into the world with the vampires would have defeated the purpose of being with her. She was like that little blip of sanity. If she was there in the nuthouse with me, then what? We’d both be fucking lunatics trapped in a mess. Yeah, so maybe that’s a selfish attitude, but the truth is usually selfish. It’s no worse than Asshole’s excuses.
V: Well here’s a goodie from Bonnie, “Did you ever imagine your brother would betray and kill you?”
P: Who the fuck ever thinks that? Depending on how you look at it, though, you might say I betrayed him. I’d had enough, you know? Claudius was going to kill us, the fucking vampire Guild was going to send their goon squad to kill us, Troy had already been sniffing around after Katelina, it just wasn’t worth it anymore. I was going to go to Oren’s and get Arowenia and give her back. Michael showed up and was trying to stop me, then he called Asshole. I had no intention of hanging around for him to get there, too, so I tried to leave and that’s when Michael attacked me. Truth told, I don’t think he meant it. I think he was just a lot stronger than me. I dunno. Maybe it’s the way they all wanted it. I was just the noisy wheel. You note Jorick didn’t waste any time or tears.
V: Here’s another one from Donna, “Looking back, do you see the big mistake threatening to expose vamps?”
P: I think it was a big mistake ever listening to my brother. The minute he flashed those fangs I should have turned around
and walked the other way. *takes a puff* Yeah, it was a mistake trying to cross Claudius. We never should have spied for Oren and Jorick, and we never should have agreed to help kidnap Arowenia. She was Claudius’s obsession. I should have known better. I should have known he’d come after us. Looking back on it, the whole plan was stupid anyway, and if I hadn’t been stoned, or drunk, or worried about Katelina, I would have told them all to go to hell, but Kateesha made it sound like such a good idea and Asshole was willing to go along with it….
V: You must have really valued his opinion.
P: Who? Asshole? Yeah, I looked up to him. He was kind of like that reluctant father-figure, you know? And then-
V: And then as Bonnie so eloquently put it (God, I love her for this!) “You seem to have been betrayed by everyone. Jorick betrayed your trust and fell in love with your girl and she fell in love with him right after you died, acting like you’d never existed.”
P: Yeah, exactly. How the hell can she be in love with him? I get that she moved on from me because we were never “official” or any of that shit, but a MONTH!? A fucking month later she’s falling into bed with that jerk! God, couldn’t she have waited a couple months at least and gone for someone better? I got mixed up in the shit with kidnapping Arowenia because I wanted to keep her OUT of the vampires’ world and what the hell does she do but throw herself in it! It was like all those months of effort were fucking wasted! Hell, it was like I died for nothing, you know? I spent all those months keeping secrets, sneaking around, having Asshole keep an eye on her and taking Claudius and Troy’s fucking shit, and for what? So she could bang Mr. Hero and fall madly in love with him? It just pisses me off!
V: I can see that. And here’s a final question from Juli, “If you hadn’t gotten involved with Claudius and died, do you think that you and Katelina would have stayed together?”
P: *takes final drag on cigarette and stomps it out* I dunno. I dunno if we’d have even been together if I hadn’t been mixed up with them. I like to think so. I like to pretend that we woulda met somewhere else and gone out a few times and then later moved in together and done all that normal shit. And maybe I woulda cleaned up some and quit tweakin’ and drinkin’ and got a real job and maybe she woulda decided she loved me… Truth is she’d have probably kicked me out before it got to that point. But then at least she wouldn’t be with him. *spits on floor*. He better fuckin’ hope I don’t run into him in the afterlife. That’s all I’m saying.
Amaranthine Special Edition Vol II Page 65