A White Wedding Christmas

by Andrea Laurence

  They entered into the kitchen from the garage. Natalie instantly moved over to the breakfast bar, settling onto one of the barstools where she and Lily used to sit and do their homework together.

  He could almost envision her with the braces and the braids again, but he much preferred Natalie as she was now. She smiled as she looked around the house, obviously as fond of his childhood home as he was. He wanted to walk up behind her to look at it the same way she was. Maybe rub the tension from her tight shoulders.

  But he wouldn’t. It had taken convincing to get her here. He wasn’t about to run her off so quickly by pushing the boundaries of their newly established friendship. Eventually, it would be easier to ignore the swell of her breasts as they pressed against her sweater or the luminous curve of her cheek. Until then, he smoothed his hands over the granite countertop and let the cold stone cool his ardor.

  “How long has it been since you’ve lived here, Colin? It seems pretty tidy.”

  “It’s been about three years since I lived here full-time. Lily used it as a home base on and off for a while, but no one has really lived here for a year at least. I have a service come clean and I stop in periodically to check on the place.”

  “So many memories.” She slipped off the stool and went into the living room. He followed her there, watching her look around at the vaulted ceilings. Natalie pointed at the loft that overlooked the living room. “I used to love hanging out up there, listening to CDs and playing on the computer.”

  That made him smile. The girls had always been sprawled out on the rug or lying across the futon up there, messing around on the weekends. Natalie had spent a lot of time at the house when they were younger. Her own house was only the next block over, but things had been pretty volatile leading up to her parents’ divorce. While he hated that her parents split up, it had been nice to have her around, especially after his own parents died. Colin had been too busy trying to take care of everything and suddenly be a grown-up. Natalie had been there for Lily in a way he hadn’t.

  “Lily is very lucky to have a brother like you,” she said, conflicting with his own thoughts. “I’m sure she’ll love the house. It’s perfect for starting a family. Just one thing, though.”

  “What’s that?”

  Natalie looked at him and smiled. “The house is exactly the same as it was the last time I was here ten years ago, and things were dated then. You’ve got some work ahead of you, mister.”

  Three

  After a few hours at the house, Colin insisted on ordering pizza and Natalie finally acquiesced. That wasn’t a dinner date, technically, and she was starving. She wasn’t sure that he had put the idea of them being more than friends to bed—honestly neither had she—but they’d get there. As with all attractions, the chemical reactions would fade, the hormones would quiet and things would be fine. With a wedding and the house to focus on, she was certain it would happen sooner rather than later.

  While he dealt with ordering their food, she slipped out onto the back deck and sat down in one of the old patio chairs. The air was cold and still, but it felt good to breathe it in.

  She was exhausted. They’d gone through every room, talking over pieces to keep, things to donate and what renovations were needed. It wasn’t just that, though. It was the memories and emotions tied to the place that were getting to her. Nearly every room in the house held some kind of significance to her. Even though Lily and Colin’s parents had been dead for nearly thirteen years now, Natalie understood why Colin had been so reluctant to change things. It was like messing with the past somehow.

  Her parents’ marriage had dissolved when she was fourteen. The year or so leading up to it had been even more rough on her than what followed. Lily’s house had been her sanctuary from the yelling. After school, on the weekends, sleepovers...she was almost always here. Some of her happiest memories were in this place. Colin and Lily’s parents didn’t mind having her around. She suspected that they knew what was going on at her house and were happy to shelter her from the brunt of it.

  Unfortunately, they couldn’t protect her from everything. There was nothing they could do to keep Natalie’s father from walking out on Christmas day. They weren’t there to hold Natalie’s hand as her parents fought it out in court for two years, then each remarried again and again, looking for something in another person they couldn’t seem to find.

  Her friends joked that Natalie was jaded about relationships, but she had a right to be. She rarely saw them succeed. Why would she put herself through that just because there was this societal pressure to do it? She could see the icy water and jagged rocks below; why would she jump off the bridge with everyone else?

  She heard the doorbell and a moment later, Colin called her from the kitchen. “Soup’s on!”

  Reluctantly, Natalie got back up and went inside the house to face Colin and the memories there. She found a piping hot pizza sitting on the kitchen island beside a bottle of white wine. “Did they deliver the wine, too?” she asked drily. The addition of wine to the pizza made this meal feel more suspiciously like the date she’d declined earlier. “If they do, I need their number. Wine delivery is an underserved market.”

  “No, it was in the wine chiller,” he said as though it was just the most convenient beverage available. “I lived here for a few weeks after I broke up with Pam. It was left over.”

  Natalie had learned from Lily that Colin got a divorce earlier this year, but she didn’t know much about the details. Their wedding had been a quiet affair and their divorce had been even quieter. All she did hear was that they had a son together. “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. Do you still get to see your son pretty often?”

  The pleasant smile slipped from his face. He jerked the cork out of the wine bottle and sighed heavily. “I don’t have a son.”

  Natalie knew immediately that she had treaded into some unpleasant territory. She wasn’t quite sure how to back out of it. “Oh. I guess I misheard.”

  “No. You heard right. Shane was born about six months after we got married.” He poured them each a glass of chardonnay. “We divorced because I found out that Shane wasn’t my son.”

  Sometimes Natalie hated being right about relationships. Bad things happened to really good people when the fantasy of love got in the way. She took a large sip of the wine to muffle her discomfort. “I’m sorry to hear that, Colin.”

  A smile quickly returned to his face, although it seemed a little more forced than before. “Don’t be. I did it to myself. Pam had been adamant when we started dating that she didn’t want to get married. When she told me she was pregnant, I thought she would change her mind, but she didn’t. I think she finally gave in only because I wouldn’t let it go. I should’ve known then that I’d made a mistake by forcing her into it.”

  Natalie stiffened with a piece of pizza dangling from her hand. She finally released it to the plate and cleared her throat. “Not everyone is meant for marriage,” she said. “Too many people do it just because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do.”

  “If someone doesn’t want to get married, they shouldn’t. It’s not fair to their partner.”

  She slid another slice of pizza onto his plate. Instead of opting for the perfectly good dining room table, Natalie returned to her perch at the breakfast bar. That’s where she’d always eaten at Lily’s house. “That’s why I’ve made it a policy to be honest up front.”

  Colin followed suit, handing her a napkin and sliding onto the stool beside her. “And I appreciate that, especially after what happened with Pam. You’re right though. I’m the kind of guy that is meant for marriage. I’ve just got to learn to make better choices in women,” he said. Pam had been his most serious relationship, but he had a string of others that failed for different reasons. “My instincts always seem to be wrong.”

  Natalie took a bite of he
r pizza and chewed thoughtfully. She had dodged a bullet when Colin turned her down at the engagement party. She’d only been looking for a night of nostalgic indulgence, but he was the kind of guy who wanted more. More wasn’t something she could give him. She was a bad choice, too. Not lie-about-the-paternity-of-your-child bad, but definitely not the traditional, marrying kind he needed.

  “Your sister doesn’t seem to want to get married,” Natalie noted, sending the conversation in a different direction. She’d never seen a more reluctant bride. That kind of woman wouldn’t normally bother with a place like From This Moment.

  “Actually, she’s very eager to marry. It’s the wedding and the hoopla she can do without.”

  “That’s an interesting reversal. A lot of women are more obsessed with the wedding day than the actual marriage.”

  “I think she’ll appreciate it later, despite how much she squirms now. Eloping at the courthouse was very underwhelming. We said the same words, ended up just as legally joined in marriage, but it was missing a certain something. I want better for my little sister’s big day.”

  “She’ll get it,” Natalie said with confidence. “We’re the best.”

  They ate quietly for a few moments before Colin finished his slice and spoke up. “See,” he said as he reached for another piece and grinned. “I told you that you’d have dinner with me eventually.”

  Natalie snorted softly, relieved to see the happier Colin return. “Oh, no,” she argued with a smile. “This does not count, even if you add wine. Having dinner together implies a date. This is not a date.”

  Colin leaned his elbows on the counter and narrowed his eyes at her. “Since we’re sharing tonight, do you mind telling me why you were so unhappy to see me yesterday at the chapel?”

  “I wouldn’t say unhappy. I would say surprised. I expected Lily. And considering what happened the last time I saw you, I was feeling a little embarrassed.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I hit on you and failed miserably. It was stupid of me. It was a momentary weakness fueled by wine and abstinence. And since you passed up the chance, this is definitely not a date. We’re on a nondate eating pizza at your childhood home.”

  A knowing grin spread across Colin’s face, making Natalie curious, nervous and making her flush at the same time. “So that’s what it’s really about,” he said with a finger pointed in her direction. “You were upset because I turned you down that night at the party.”

  Natalie’s cheeks flamed at the accusation. “Not at all. I’m relieved, really.” She took a large sip of her wine and hoped that sounded convincing enough.

  “You can say that, but I know it isn’t true. You couldn’t get out of the house fast enough that night.”

  “I had an early day the next morning.”

  Colin raised his brow in question. He didn’t believe a word she said. Neither did she.

  “Okay, fine. So what?” she challenged. “So what if I’m holding it against you? I’m allowed to have feelings about your rejection.”

  “Of course you’re allowed to have feelings. But I didn’t reject you, Natalie.”

  “Oh really? What would you call it?”

  Colin turned in his seat to face her, his palms resting on each knee. “I would call it being the good guy even when I didn’t want to be. You may not have noticed, but I had a date at the party. She was in a corner sulking most of the night. It wasn’t really serious and we broke it off the next day, but I couldn’t very well ditch her and disappear with you.”

  Natalie’s irritation started to deflate. She slumped in her seat, fingering absentmindedly at her pizza crust. “Oh.”

  “Oh,” he repeated with a chuckle. “Now if you were the kind of woman that would date me, you’d be feeling pretty silly right now.”

  Natalie shook her head. “Even if I were that woman, this is still not a date. You can’t just decide to be on a date halfway through an evening together. There’s planning and preparation. You’d have to take me someplace nicer than this old kitchen, and I would wear a pretty dress instead of my clothes from work. A date is a whole experience.”

  “Fair enough,” Colin agreed, taking another bite of his pizza. “This isn’t a date.”

  Natalie turned to her food, ignoring the nervous butterflies that were fluttering in her stomach. It wasn’t a date, but it certainly felt like one.

  * * *

  They cleaned up the kitchen together and opted to climb in the attic to take a look at what was up there before they called it a night. Colin’s father had had the attic finished when they moved in, so the space was a little dusty, but it wasn’t the treacherous, cobweb-filled space most attics were.

  “Wow,” Natalie said as she reached the top of the stairs. “There’s a lot of stuff up here.”

  She was right. Colin looked around, feeling a little intimidated by the project he’d put on himself. He’d put all this off for too long, though. Giving the house to Lily and Frankie was the right thing to do and the motivation he needed to actually get it done.

  He reached for a plastic tote and peeked inside. It was filled with old Christmas decorations. After further investigation, he realized that was what the majority of the items were. “My parents always went all out at Christmas,” he said. “I think we’ve found their stash.”

  There were boxes of garland, lights, ornaments and lawn fixtures. A five-foot, light-up Santa stood in the corner beside a few white wooden reindeer that lit up and moved.

  “This is what you were looking for, right?” Natalie asked. “You said you wanted to decorate the house for the holidays.”

  He nodded and picked up a copy of A Visit From St. Nicholas from one of the boxes. His father had read that to them every year on Christmas Eve, even when he and his sister were far too old for that sort of thing. In the years since they’d passed, Colin would’ve given anything to sit and listen to his father read that to him again.

  “This is perfect,” he said. “I have to go through all this to see what still works, but it’s a great start. I’ll just have to get a tree for the living room. What do you think?”

  Natalie shrugged. “I told you before, I’m not much of an expert on Christmas.”

  He’d forgotten. “So, what’s that about, Grinch?”

  “Ha-ha,” she mocked, heading toward the stairs.

  Colin snatched an old Santa’s hat out of a box and followed her down. He slipped it on. “Ho-ho-ho!” he shouted in his jolliest voice. “Little girl, tell Santa why you don’t like Christmas. Did I forget the pony you asked for?”

  Natalie stopped on the landing and turned around to look at him. She tried to hide her smirk with her hand, but the light in her eyes gave away her amusement. “You look like an idiot.”

  “Come on,” he insisted. “We’ve already talked about my matrimonial betrayal. It can’t be a bigger downer than that.”

  “Pretty close,” Natalie said, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. “My dad left on Christmas day.”

  The smile faded from his face. He pulled off the Santa hat. “I didn’t know about that.”

  “Why would you? I’m sure you were spared the messy details.”

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not entirely sure. They’d been fighting a bunch leading up to Christmas, but I think they were trying to hold it together through the holidays. That morning, we opened presents and had breakfast, the same as usual. Then, as I sat in the living room playing with my new Nintendo, I heard some shouting and doors slamming. The next thing I know, my dad is standing in the living room with his suitcases. He just moved out right then. I haven’t celebrated Christmas since that day.”

  “You haven’t celebrated at all? In fifteen years?”

  “Nope. I silently protested for a few holidays, passed between parents, but o
nce I went to college, it was done. No decorations, no presents, no Christmas carols.”

  He was almost sorry he’d asked. So many of Colin’s favorite memories had revolved around the holidays with his parents. Even after they died, Christmas couldn’t be ruined. He just worked that much harder to make it special for Lily. He’d always dreamed of the day he’d celebrate the holidays with his own family. He’d gotten a taste of it when they celebrated Shane’s first Christmas, but not long after that, he learned the truth about his son’s real father.

  “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” And coming from a guy whose life had fallen apart in the past year, that was saying a lot.

  “Divorce happens,” Natalie said. A distant, almost ambivalent look settled on her face. She continued down the stairs to the ground floor. “It happens to hundreds of couples every day. It happened to you. Heck, it’s happened to my mother three times. She’s on her fourth husband. My sad story isn’t that uncommon.”

  “I actually wasn’t talking about the divorce.” Colin stepped down onto the first-floor landing and reached out to grip the railing. “I mean, I’m sure it was awful for you to live through your parents’ split. I just hate that it ruined Christmas for you. Christmas is such a special time. It’s about family and friends, magic and togetherness. It’s a good thing we’ve decided to just be friends because I could never be with someone who didn’t like Christmas.”

  “Really? It’s that important?”

  “Yep. I look forward to it all year. I couldn’t imagine not celebrating.”

  “It’s easier than you think. I stay busy with work or I try to travel.”

  Colin could only shake his head. She wasn’t interested in long-term relationships or holidays, both things most people seemed to want or enjoy. Her parents’ divorce must’ve hit at a crucial age for her. He couldn’t help reaching out to put a soothing arm around her shoulder. “You shouldn’t let your parents’ crap ruin your chances for having a happy holiday for the rest of your life.”