At Your Beck & Call

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  Luckily Rico and Al came over to say hi, but Laura gave me a look that said the conversation wasn’t over.

  I hadn’t meant to say what I’d said, but it was the truth. I’d never thought about having kids, never wanted them before. I wasn’t sure I did now, but with Laura? I knew it was still possible for her to get pregnant: we’d been together long enough for me to know when she was off limits. She found it hard to believe me when I said I didn’t care whether she was on the rag or not. We did other stuff, and even though it makes me sound like a chauvinistic bastard, seeing my woman with her mouth wrapped around my dick always made me feel like a king.

  But right now she looked pissed. I wasn’t sure why.

  She was cool with me for the rest of the meal, talking mostly to April who was sitting on her right.

  Carl’s grandmother was on my other side. I estimated that she was in her 80s. I guess Tessa had been afraid I’d hit on any woman who was younger than an octogenarian. I knew that Carl had recently told her I’d given up the escort business, but I suppose she was hedging her bets.

  Maude turned out to have a sharp and wicked sense of humor, regaling me with stories of her youth, when she’d worked for a well known newspaper editor in Detroit. She’d certainly made the most of being around in the sixties.

  “What do you think of Tessa?” she asked, taking me off guard.

  “They look very happy together,” I replied, blandly.

  She snorted loudly. “Are you going into politics, young man?”

  “No, ma’am!”

  “Then say what you really think. I do—I find it very entertaining. People are so easily shocked.”

  I smiled and shook my head, refusing to be drawn. “He loves her.”

  Maude sighed dramatically. “What a dull answer, young man. I didn’t take you for a dull person.”

  “You’re trying to make me indiscreet, Maude,” I accused.

  “Is it working?” she asked, hopefully.

  “Can’t say it is.”

  “Fine!” she huffed. “Then I’ll say it. I think Tessa wears the pants in that relationship and Carl couldn’t find his dick with two hands and a street sign. Completely pussy whipped.”

  I laughed. “I’ll have to disagree with you there, Maude.”

  “Oh?” she said, her eyes opening wide. “Well, you’ll have to tell me now.”

  “He’s just … not completely pussy whipped.”

  “Hmm,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “And you know this because?”

  I took a sip of champagne and shook my head.

  “Let’s just say Tessa doesn’t approve of me and she’d rather stick a broom up her ass than let Carl see me. So far he hasn’t listened to her.”

  Maude nodded slowly. “You know, young man, you’ve made me very happy to hear that. There’s hope for him after all.”

  We clinked glasses.

  “Now, tell me why Tessa doesn’t approve of you.”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  I was saved from having to answer by the start of the speeches.

  Tessa’s father spoke first, the usual banal childhood stories, a thinly veiled warning for Carl to look after his daughter, some smug comments about how well he’d done in the used car business, and how he hoped we’d all enjoyed our expensive meal.

  He proposed a toast to the happy couple, then Carl took over.

  “The night I met Tessa was going to be a guy’s night out,” he said. “But I was never so happy in my life that my buddy Hallen showed up late.”

  I laughed and raised my glass to him.

  “Because that night a jewel dropped into my life. I wasn’t expecting it, and I sure don’t deserve it. But that’s what you are, Tessa, a beautiful jewel. And I’ll spend the rest of my life treasuring you.”

  He went on to thank the bridesmaids, his family, Tessa’s family, but I zoned out for that. I was thinking about what he’d said, about a jewel dropping into his life when he’d least expected it. I really dug that, because that’s how I felt about Laura. Hearing it put into words made sense to me.

  And I realized something important: Laura was right. She wasn’t the one who had to learn to live with my past—it was me. I was the one who was ashamed, the one who had things to hide. And I was the one who needed to get over it.

  I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that, but I sure as hell was going to try. And like Carl said, I’d spend the rest of my life deserving my second chance at life, this precious gift.

  Darren was up next, droning on about some of the cruel practical jokes he’d played on his sister when he and Tessa were kids. It made me want to kick his dumbass. But then he started a spiel about Carl having to ‘man up’ now he was a husband, and realize which friends were important in life—and which weren’t. I swear the bastard stared at me when he said that.

  Then he made some lame ass jokes about strippers at the bachelor party. “Why did the man keep throwing Monopoly Money at the stripper? Because she kept putting fake tits in his face!”

  Tessa was furious, Paige looked like she was going to cry, and everyone else just looked embarrassed. Then he made some joke about ‘Magic Mike’ and male strippers, which no one else got, but I knew was aimed at me. By this point I didn’t care—he just made himself look like an even bigger douche canoe.

  Laura threw me a conspiratorial glance.

  “Were you ever a stripper?” she whispered.

  “No. He’s just being an ass.”

  “Pity,” she muttered. “I was hoping for a private dance later.”

  I grinned at her and placed my lips against her ear as I answered.

  “You only have to ask.”

  She shivered and a look passed between us that had me wondering where I could find the nearest empty room.

  With the speeches over, the band started playing.

  “Dance with me?”

  Laura eyed me with amusement.

  “Let me see: you’re an amazing artist, you’re totally gorgeous and you dance?”

  “I can cook, too.”

  “A little arrogant perhaps, Hallen, or are you trying to impress me?”

  I laughed as she smiled up at me.

  “Is it working?” I asked.

  “Oh, yes! I’m definitely impressed.”

  I pulled her into my arms and kissed her neck.

  “Move in with me,” I murmured into her hair.

  “What?”

  “Move in with me, Laura. I can’t stand just seeing you every few days. Move in with me. I want to wake up every morning with you, not just exist in the hours we have together. We can show everyone that we don’t care what they think. It’s just us.”

  I was so determined to make it clear how I felt about her that I was slow to realize that she hadn’t answered. I’d gotten so lost in the dream that I hadn’t heard what she wasn’t saying.

  I stood up straight and looked into her eyes. She was nervous, on edge … and definitely not on the same page as me.

  “Hallen, that’s…”

  Crap. Too much, too soon.

  “I’m sorry, Laura. I’m rushing you. I get that.”

  “Hallen, it’s not you, it’s me.”

  Double crap.

  “No, please, listen to me,” she said, her hands cupping my face, forcing my eyes to meet hers.

  “I was married for 26 years. With Jack for 27. I got married straight out of college. I’ve never lived on my own until now. And I like it, I really do. I’m not ready to live my life for another man again.”

  “I don’t want you to live your life for me,” I said, trying to avoid losing my temper as she mangled my words. “I want you to live with me. It doesn’t have to be my house—we could live at yours. I’ll rent out the beach house. Just tell me what you want?”

  She sighed, and her eyes dropped to my chest.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to live with anyone, Hallen. We’ve only known each other a few weeks and…”

  “Five months. I
’ve known you for five months, Laura, and we’ve been dating for three.”

  “Exactly! It’s no time at all! And now you’re talking about having babies! For God’s sake, Hallen, I’m 48. Forty-eight! I have a son who is only five years younger than you.”

  “So? Women have babies into their fifties. It’s not a big deal.”

  She looked like she was trying not to scream, and I knew I’d gone too far.

  “Not a big deal? It’s a huge deal! Huge! You think I want to be knee deep in diapers when I’m 50? I’ve only just got my freedom back!”

  I grimaced. “You don’t feel free with me?”

  She breathed out slowly and rested her head on my shoulder. “Yes, I do feel free with you. Incredibly free. You let me be who I am; free to explore who I want to be. You’re amazing, Hallen.”

  “God, I love you, Laura.”

  Her eyes grew wide but she didn’t say anything. I charged on, trying to get the words out before she told me to stop.

  “I’m sorry that it seems like I’m pushing you all the time. But I’m so fucking in love with you and it scares the shit out of me, because I feel like I’m pushing and you’re pulling back. I just want to be with you—I’ll take whatever I can get.”

  And it seemed that I wasn’t above begging either.

  I took a deep breath and gazed at her, half-afraid of what I’d see on her face.

  “Do you think it would be rude to leave now?” she asked, her eyes soft with emotion.

  I shook my head, hope building inside my chest.

  Just as I thought we’d be able to slip away quietly, Carl’s mom came to find me again.

  “Oh, you two look so happy together,” she slurred, contentedly. “Hasn’t it been a wonderful wedding? Maybe you’ll be next, Hallen,” and she laughed, squeezing my hand.

  I smiled politely, trying not to see Laura’s pained expression as she excused herself hurriedly.

  Mrs. Hennessy claimed me for a dance, and I steered her around the room in a slow foxtrot to Michael Bublé’s ‘Call Me Irresponsible’.

  “Laura seems very nice,” she said. “A little old for you perhaps, but you look happy.”

  “I am. We are.”

  She smiled knowingly, so I was grateful when she changed the subject.

  “Carl is very fond of you—you’ve been a good friend to him.”

  I laughed awkwardly, shaking my head.

  “It’s true. I meant what I said about you getting him through college. Carl has never been the most responsible of people. Knowing you, well, it made him grow up. He admired how you managed without … without parental support.” Her tone became grave. “It’s very easy for married couples to become insular. Especially where children are involved. But I hope that you and Carl will always remain friends. You’re good for him, Hallen. You offer him another view of the world, I suppose. He’s always looked up to you.”

  I stared at her in amazement.

  “Promise me you’ll carry on being his friend. No matter what Tessa thinks.”

  “You know about that?” I questioned.

  “Well, she’s said one or two things over the years that have surprised me, but I suppose that’s to do with her dreadful friend, Paige.”

  I suppressed a shout of laughter and Mrs. Hennessy smiled at me, her expression deliberately innocent.

  “It would never have worked out with you two,” she said, cocking her eyebrow. “Good heavens, her breasts seem to get bigger every time I see them. You’re much better suited to Laura, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

  “Feel free,” I laughed.

  We made one more circuit of the dance floor before I escorted her back to her husband, who was listening with a bored air to Darren’s account of the effect of negative equity on the Illinois housing market.

  Darren threw me a baleful look and rudely ignored my presence. I shrugged and wandered away to find Laura. But it was Paige who found me first.

  “Hi,” she said, shyly.

  “Paige—you look lovely,” I lied, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Married life must agree with you.”

  She shrugged. “I miss living on the west coast. Chicago is okay, but I miss the ocean.”

  “I’d miss it, too, if I left.”

  “Do you ever think about me, Hallen?” she whispered.

  I was taken aback. “Carl tells me what you’re doing,” I replied, diplomatically. “He hears it from Tessa.”

  She gave a small smile. “Likewise. I heard that you’d … retired from … well, retired.”

  “You heard right.”

  She chewed her lip for a moment. “Because of your girlfriend?”

  “It was time to move on,” I said, noncommittal.

  She nodded slowly. “If I’d asked you to give it up, would you?” Her words tumbled out hurriedly, as if afraid she’d be overheard. “Tessa said I should make you choose, and that leaving you was the right thing to do—but I’ve always wondered if I chose wrong.”

  “Wow, that’s … I don’t know what to say to that, Paige. I understood your reasons, and I know it was a fucked up way of life ... although I didn’t realize that at the time. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

  She shrugged, neither confirming nor denying.

  “Are you happy?” she asked.

  I caught a glimpse of Laura walking toward me.

  “Yes,” I answered with sincerity. “I am.”

  She stood on tiptoe to kiss my cheek. “I’m glad,” she said, before walking away.

  “Everything okay?” asked Laura.

  “Yeah, everything’s great.”

  “What did she want?”

  “She was just saying hi.”

  Laura nodded, but her eyes followed Paige.

  “She asked me if I was happy. I told her I am.”

  “Are you? Happy?”

  “The most beautiful woman here tonight is my date—yeah, I’m happy.”

  “Still smooth,” she laughed.

  Before we left, I introduced her to Carl’s dad.

  Mr. Hennessy looked relieved at the interruption to yet another long-winded monologue from Darren. We chatted for a few minutes and I casually agreed to play a round of golf when Carl came back from his honeymoon in Acapulco.

  “You play golf?” scoffed Darren. “What’s your handicap?”

  “Three,” I said, evenly.

  He snorted loudly. “I don’t think so!”

  Mr. Hennessy looked irritated. “Carl plays golf with Hallen quite often—I can assure you it’s true.” Darren clamped his mouth shut, which made him smarter than he looked.

  “I hear congratulations are in order, too, Hallen,” said Mr. Hennessy. “Carl says your art show was a sell-out. Marjorie and I were sorry not to get to see it.”

  “Well, perhaps you can come to Hallen’s next exhibition,” offered Laura, ignoring my look of annoyance. “It’s a few months away yet, but it’s going to be amazing.”

  “Oh, wonderful! We certainly will!” said Marjorie, smiling broadly. “Just tell us where and when.”

  I shook my head in defeat, agreeing that I’d let them know.

  “What was that about?” I said, as we waited for my car to be brought around.

  “Well, you’d never have told them!” laughed Laura. “You really are a terrible salesman.”

  “Just as long as you’re sold on me,” I murmured into her hair as I kissed her cheek.

  “Not if you use such cheesy lines,” she smirked. “But I’ll forgive you this time. By the way, did I mention that Maggie changed her mind about staying with me tonight? I believe she’s visiting her father.”

  I wondered if I was alone in feeling a shift in our relationship. Yes, she’d turned me down about living together, but I was smart enough to realize I’d tried to push her too quickly. I was hopeful that at the very least we could spend more time together. We’d been out in public, she’d met my friends—and it hadn’t been a disaster. It had been good. Normal.

  I’d jus
t have to be patient with her. Jack’s cheating had scarred her more deeply than I’d realized; it would be a while before Laura fully trusted a man again. And it wasn’t as if my history with women was exactly stellar. Nope, putting those thoughts behind me.

  It was after 1AM when I turned into Laura’s driveway, but I wasn’t tired. Seeing her looking so beautiful had been 13 hours of tortuous foreplay. I was desperate to feel her body wrapped around me.

  She yawned, and I groaned inwardly.

  I helped her out of the car and she kicked off her shoes as soon as we entered her house.

  “Night cap?” she yawned again. “Although I think I drank more than I should have already.”

  “Sure.”

  She poured us each a bourbon and stretched out on the Chesterfield in her living room. I picked up her feet and placed them in my lap, massaging them with my thumbs.

  She groaned and my dumb dick saw it as an invitation. I resituated myself and caught Laura smiling at me.

  “What can I say? You have sexy feet.”

  She laughed.

  “Perhaps we could forget the night cap and go to bed?” she suggested, sliding her legs off me and standing up to lean limply against the door.

  She looked soft and warm and so fucking sexy.

  “I don’t want to wait that long,” I said, pulling off my jacket and loosening my bow tie.

  “But I have a big, comfortable bed upstairs!” she protested, starting to turn.

  “Don’t care. Here. Now.”

  “Hallen…”

  I silenced her with a kiss, my hands winding into her hair, pulling out the pins, dropping the orchids onto her coffee table.

  I bent my knees, my hands slipping to the hem of her dress as I inched it upward.

  Suddenly, a flick switched inside her and she started tearing at my shirt, clawing at my back. Her kisses were sloppy and unrestrained, her breathing rapid, her movements erratic.

  God, I needed everything she had to give me.

  I yanked her panties down her legs, until they were hooked over one foot. Her teeth fastened around my neck and I hissed as she bit down hard. God, I loved this wild side. She let it out so rarely but I felt like I was seeing the real Laura, not the controlled, polished, sleek beauty she showed to the rest of the world. My woman. My lover.