Staci walked away, her ass sashaying from us and I couldn’t help comparing her to Olivia. Even fully dressed in frumpy clothes, Olivia would be more attractive then Staci.
I ducked my head back in, leaning close to Braddox who carried the musty smell of marijuana and something sweeter around him like a veil. “What are you doing? If Olivia catches you… she’ll never forgive you.”
“We’re past that, brother. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got my own demons chasing me. You go deal with your own.” Braddox clapped me on the shoulder and turned away, opening his arms wide as he moved toward Staci. “I’ve got some blue pills, bitch. Let’s use these suckers up.”
I closed the door and shook my head. I didn’t want to see that. How could Braddox have so much and yet be so debase?
I was no virgin, but I could count on my hand the women I’d been with and they’d all meant something to me. Maybe not love, but at least they weren’t things I called names as I did whatever I wanted to them.
As I walked back toward the nook off the stairs, I couldn’t help the gratitude swelling in my chest. If I’d gone in there with Braddox, like any other normal red-blooded teenager, I would have lost everything. Maybe not pertaining to my father, but I would have lost my self-respect, anything to do with Olivia, her mother, and so much more.
When I got to the nook, Olivia was gone. I hadn’t been gone long. Maybe she’d left to check on Stephanie, or something else had come up.
I pulled out my phone and texted her.
Me: When you get to your room, lock your door tonight. Braddox is in a mood.
O: I’m already here. I can hear him. Thanks for the heads up. Sorry, I didn’t hang around. I’m depressing myself. I’m just going to see if I can get some sleep. Thank you for listening.
Me: Anytime. Let me know if you need anything else.
I got that she was hurting. I wished I could do something more for her. Part of me was let down, though, too. I’d needed some time with someone who wasn’t going to push their expectations off on me. That’s all I needed. Some time to not feel so alone.
I’d looked forward to that with Olivia. That was okay, though. I could deal with everything on my own. Wasn’t that all I’d been doing for so long already?
Chapter 10
Olivia
The walls weren’t thin in the O’Donnell house and I could still hear whatever Braddox was up to with whatever girl he had over.
Probably Staci.
Jaxon’s warning flashed on my phone. I should have texted him more or gone back out to see him. He’d said he was going back out to be with me. I’d just disappeared into my room.
I’d said too much as it was. He had to think I was pathetic. Didn’t I think that about myself?
One AM turned into one-fifteen and I continued staring at the ceiling in the dark. A light from the backyard overlooking the ocean reflected off the wall to the side of the window, but that’s all the light I had.
What if Jaxon wasn’t only coming out to comfort me in my melancholic state? What if he needed company, too?
I’d been too wrapped up in my musings to really notice if he was okay. How selfish had I been to only talk about the things that had happened to me months ago when he just lost his mom less than a week or so ago?
I grabbed my phone from its spot on the mattress by my pillow and blinked at the bright light from the screen when I turned it on.
Me: Are you still up?
His reply came fast and without fanfare.
J: Yeah, can’t sleep.
I wrinkled my nose. We were a sorry couple. Maybe what we really needed was some time together to forget the chaos all around us. Jaxon made me burn. Maybe he could make me burn enough to lose reality to the heat.
Me: Me, either. I’m coming that way.
J: Are you sure you feel up to it?
Me: …
I wasn’t sure I wanted to focus on the tension between us right then. I think, more than anything, I wanted to just cuddle into him and feel his heat. Maybe being close to Jaxon would fix the weird loneliness I couldn’t escape since seeing Stephanie by herself in that large house.
I climbed from my bed and grabbed a thin robe from a hook inside the closet. I paused at the door, looking down at my leggings and tee. What if I changed my mind when I was with him and we ended up doing more than just snuggling?
What if I gave him the impression that he should expect more than just company? I pulled out my phone again and stared at our conversation. What exactly had I promised when I left those little dots for a message?
Using my fingernail, I picked at the cuticle on the side of my thumb. I wasn’t able to move for a long minute as I considered my options.
If I was going over there, which I’d already told him I was, did I need to clarify when I arrived that I was just looking for comfort and nothing else? Or did that make me a tease?
At what point was it putting us in the friend zone? Once you went there, it was next to impossible to come out.
Was I in the right frame of mind to pursue anything else with him?
I took a deep breath and dropped my hands to my thighs, almost slapping them. “Enough. Just get over there. Worry about the details later.” Talking to myself. Yep, I was definitely losing it.
I lifted my chin and opened my bedroom door softly, shutting it behind me just as quietly.
The loud noises from Braddox’s room had stopped a little while ago, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still in there. Screwing or whatever they wanted to call it.
A huge part of me wondered who he had in there with him. That same part of me wondered if he was doing it to hurt me. Wouldn’t that be exactly like Braddox to do something to someone else in order to make another person hurt? Yes, and it was a part of why I’d always liked being with him. He’d never directed that sadistic anger onto me until… we hadn’t been together anymore.
But just when I thought he’d been willing to wait for me; he’d turned up his crazy side.
New nighttime LED carpet runners had been added since the night I’d snuck out of Braddox’s room. I wondered if Mom had any part of that since she’d been caught sneaking from Trenton’s room as well.
In either case, the lights gave enough illumination that I could clearly see even the pictures on the walls.
Barefoot, I slowly padded down the hall, breathing shallowly as if I was about to get caught. What would happen? Nothing. There was nothing Braddox could do to me, if he did catch me on the way to his brother’s room. Braddox didn’t own me. No matter how much he thought he did.
Feet from Jaxon’s door, my nerves could almost feel him. I was getting closer and heat flushed up my neck and cheeks.
Braddox’s door opened, incandescent light spilling out into the hall, warring with the white blue of the LEDs.
My breath caught in my throat. Annoyingly enough, I still cared. Not like I wanted to be with Braddox, but more like, I didn’t want to drive a wedge further between the brothers. Being with Jaxon in any capacity, choosing Jaxon over Braddox in any way, would do exactly that. I didn’t want to be the reason they couldn’t find reconciliation.
As much as a girl wants to be important enough for brothers to fight over, she also doesn’t want to be the reason they can’t still be brothers. The line was a weird one to walk, but it made sense in a twisted way.
“You’re a dick, Braddox.” The door slammed shut, leaving Staci standing half-naked before me in the shadows of the LED nightlights.
I tried to avoid looking at her as she clutched clothes to her bare chest. She’d managed to pull on her thong underwear and a skirt. There were no bra straps on her shoulders, and she held some material in her hands, but not much. The only other things she held were her four-inch high heels. In the weird lighting from the floor mixed with the darkness, they could have been red or black, I couldn’t be sure.
I swallowed. Even half-naked she was annoyingly beautiful. Something my curvy self didn’t like comparing my
self to. But I did it anyway. Of course.
I smiled tightly at Staci, because what else was I supposed to do? Essentially, it was my house now, too. She was a guest in my house which meant, my dead grandmother would come back from the grave and smack me silly, if I dared be rude to a guest.
“It’s a… nice night.” I should have asked it instead of stated it. I quietly cleared my throat and lamely motioned into the air of the hallway as we stood there staring at each other. Clearly, she was pissed as her chest heaved and her eyes snapped at me.
There was no way she was happy with Braddox and most likely me, as well, just for witnessing the display.
She lifted her chin and dropped her shoes on the ground. Staci pulled the material from her chest, revealing the round lines of her breasts in all their glory. And I mean, glory.
I’d always been fairly proud of my breasts, but these made a porno feel like child’s play.
I couldn’t look away. That definitely didn’t make me gay, but more jealous in a way I didn’t want to be. She had long, thin legs, high perky, round-as-hell tits, and a waist that I swear, if she turned to the side it would disappear.
On the other hand, I had an ass that wouldn’t stop, legs to support it, and curves like a mountain. Why would Jaxon want more to do with me than with someone like Staci?
She stared me down as she pulled on the thin lacy shirt. She didn’t bother crossing her arms as she kicked her shoes into position and stepped into them. Her nipples didn’t even try to hide as she stood there in the scanty outfit.
Thrusting her hands on her hips, Staci studied me longer. The slimmest glint of light caught on the metal necklace she wore and I stole a glimpse before lifting my eyes to her face.
She arched an eyebrow and then motioned toward her body. “Yeah, it does what I need it to. If I swung that way or suspected you had anything I wanted, I might do you, but since none of that is true…” She shrugged and turned toward the stairs, leaving me mortified that she thought I was sexually interested in her.
My mouth opened in shock and dismay. I shook my head and lifted my hand but she’d already stopped and turned back to me.
Staci’s glossy lips caught the light as she spoke. “I don’t know if I hate you or feel bad for you.”
Scoffing, I shook my head. “That makes two of us.” At the surprise on her face, I continued. “Look, you can hate me because of the O’Donnells. That’s fine. I get it. Or you can feel bad because my dad died in a helicopter crash a few months ago. How’s that sound?”
She blinked at my revelation. I’d offered it with an impromptu idea since she had the necklace. Would she recognize something in that story? Did anything reach out to her?
But after a second, she smoothed the confusion from her features and jerked her chin my way while motioning toward the doors of both boys. “You’re not what I expected. Listen, Ramirez, be careful of these two. They’re more alike than you know.”
What did she think she knew?
Before I could ask her, she turned on her impossibly high heel and disappeared down the hall.
I stared after her, so many questions boiling inside me. There was no way of knowing what she and Braddox had done to each other in the bedroom, but she’d left pissed at him and acting weird toward me.
I stared after her, wondering – not for the first time – what I was doing with the twins. I mean, I wasn’t doing anything with Braddox, that much was obvious, but what did I expect from Jaxon?
What were we hoping to get from each other? There had to be more between us than just desire. And the desire was strong enough to be distracting over anything else. But was that enough?
Chewing my lower lip, I stood in the hallway unmoving. Lost in my thoughts, it took me a moment to realize that Braddox’s door was opening, revealing Braddox standing in the doorway.
I blinked, lifting my gaze from the floor where it had fallen, up his bare legs, over the unsecured board shorts hanging off his hips to the naked abs that flexed as I studied him.
He looked so much like Jaxon it was scary.
He settled against the doorjamb, crossing his ankle over the other and folding his arms. “Get your fill?”
My throat constricted around the retort at the similarities between him and Jaxon. Even their voices had the same husky rumble. If I wasn’t sure Jaxon was waiting for me in his room, I’d second guess myself and go with Braddox.
“I can’t believe how much you and Jaxon look alike.” I half-shrugged, like it was no big deal that I’d ogled him half-naked in the hallway at one in the morning.
I nodded in the direction Staci had disappeared. “You seem to be a regular thing. Is she the new habit?” Isn’t that how Braddox treated sex? Like something he did as an after-thought.
He followed the direction I looked with his gaze, a slow grin curving his lips. “If I didn’t know better, Liv, I’d think you’re jealous.” He pushed away from the door and closed the distance to me, pushing close as he studied me in the hall lighting. “I think I like you jealous.”
“I’m not jealous, Braddox. She didn’t sound happy with you when she left. I don’t want to be any unhappier with you than I already am.” I folded my arms across my chest. I didn’t need him getting any closer to me. I was vulnerable enough as it was.
“You’re mad at me? What about how I’m mad at you?” He narrowed his eyes, bracing his arms on either side of my head on the wall.
That sparked the anger back into a fueled purpose inside me.
I shoved against his chest until he stood upright and faced me with his hands on his hips. I thrust my finger toward the floor and growled at him, trying to keep my voice down, but failing. “You slept with her, the same night as our… date. You…” I swallowed my frustration, trying not to cry. I hated that. Too much anger or frustration made me cry and I was not doing that in front of Braddox.
He couldn’t know he was able to irritate me anymore. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was that I didn’t care the way he wanted me to. Not anymore.
Braddox held his arms out. “What’s the big deal? She doesn’t mean anything. She never has. She’s the type of girl you screw to scratch an itch. It’s not like I took her out like I did with you.” He studied me, as if wondering if that was enough for me. He must have seen that it wasn’t by the narrowing of my eyes and the pursing of my lips.
He continued, his own expression hardening. “You think it’s fair for us to be together for so long and not get anything? You never seemed to care before when I screwed around. You always just turned your other cheek. What’s the difference with Staci? Do you like her or something?”
Like a slap to the face, his off-handed confession woke me up completely from the diffidence I’d had about our relationship. “You slept around on me?” I had no idea and he’d blithely accused me of being fine with it.
I swallowed and shook my head. “Trust me. I had no idea. But maybe… deep down, I did. Because there’s no way I would have slept with you, if I’d known.” I watched him; certain something wasn’t right. “Please, tell me these girls didn’t go to our school.”
He held onto his cocky smile like he wasn’t confessing to cheating on me, like it wouldn’t hurt. “Don’t worry, Liv. It was never when you were there.”
“Parties? Where? What exactly are we talking about?” I couldn’t breathe. His betrayal bit like a knife and I felt like I’d been thrown in an icy cold shower.
“Why do you care? What’s the big deal? I thought you were fine with it, or I wouldn’t have brought it up.” He furrowed his brow, as if seriously confused.
“You don’t know me at all, do you? Why do you think I wouldn’t care about this? Because you think I should have been having sex with you? So, if I wasn’t, then that means you can screw whoever the hell you want?” I shook my head. “No. Braddox. That’s not the way real life works. You’re a selfish prick. I can’t believe you think this is okay.”
I closed my eyes and then glanced up at the ce
iling. “Forget it. This is why I’m not with you. You’re… No. I. Me. I deserve better that that. Guess I got the better brother, huh?” I folded my arms and watched as my words washed over him.
He set his jaw to the side and continued staring at me. Then he gave a short laugh and shook his head. “Got it. You’ve picked him. Is that your final word on it?”
“Yep. He’s the one I choose. Even if he didn’t want me, I wouldn’t be with you. For anything. Do you understand? You treat women like dirt and I was no different. This?” I moved my hands between us. “Obviously meant nothing to you. At least I know the truth before I did anything serious, right?”
“You promised, though. Don’t you remember?” He looked me up and down. “I don’t need you to like me for you to screw me.” He tapped his temple and turned back to his room, laughing at my anger. “Think about it. You never know how much better I’ll probably be than that one.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Have fun. I promise, the novelty will wear off. Once it does, bring it on back to me. I’ll take care of you.” He paused before closing the door and looked meaningfully at me. “And I won’t care where you’ve been.”
He shut the door, leaving me to stare at his room like I had no idea what had just happened. How did he do that? He was a complete and total prick and then he would say something endearing?
Not that I wanted him. That was laughable. Saying the right thing didn’t make him a prince. He was a snake and nothing he did was going to change that.
I turned back to Jaxon’s room and stared at the door, suddenly deflated as if my excitement had been sucked out of me.
Instead of knocking on the door, I returned to my room, pulling my phone out and swiping the screen.
Me: I ran into Staci in the hall and then Braddox. I need a raincheck. Sorry. Talk tomorrow?
I fell asleep, waiting for his reply.
Forbidden: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 2) Page 9