Torn

by Ashley Stambaugh

  She let out a heavy sigh. "Because of how I've been acting. These demon powers are only growing stronger, and it doesn't take much anymore to make me lash out in anger." She looked at Tessa as her eyes started to water. "You're lucky I haven't attacked you yet. It seems like I've attacked everyone else in some form or another. Lee especially." Her eyes closed as she hung her head and started to cry again. "I hurt him, Tess. I physically burned him. I can't believe I did that to him."

  "Hey now," Tessa said as she took both of Melina's hands in hers. "He may be a little scared of everything that's happening. We all are. But we also know it's not your fault. I'm sure he knows that, too."

  Melina shook her head. "He told me yesterday that he knew none of this was my fault, but I can't help feeling like it is. It won't be long before the demon powers take over, and once I'm consumed by this evil that's what I'll be. Evil. I'll probably do mean and hateful things to people without even batting an eye, and that's not me. I'm not a mean person." She let out a soft sob and pulled her hands back and covered her face.

  For the next few minutes Melina sat and cried while Tessa, who had scooted her chair over, tried to soothe her by rubbing her back. She didn't like to cry in self-pity, but she felt so out of control. When the angel powers were threatening to consume her, she at least had a way to prevent it from happening. As far as she knew, there was no way to prevent the demon powers from taking control.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  "Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

  Melina raised her head from her hands and saw Dean walking toward them. He was dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved, black fleece shirt, and his hair was still wet from the shower.

  She hastily wiped the tears from under her eyes and then cleared her throat. "Nothing happened. I'm just scared and feeling sorry for myself."

  He pulled the chair out on the other side of her and took a seat. "You have every right to be scared and to feel sorry for yourself."

  "He's right," said Tessa, who still had her hand on Melina's back. "You don't always have to be so strong."

  Melina thought back to when she and Dean went out to compare their powers for the first time and how he had been impressed that she seemed to approach her problems head on with very little help. "I'm not as strong as I appear to be," she said.

  "No, you are," said Tessa. "Your strength is just being tested right now, and it's okay to feel a little weakness from the pressure."

  "I'm feeling more than a little weak right now," Melina said. "I'm worried I might break and fall to pieces at any moment."

  "Don't give up hope," said Tessa. "You said Walter and Phinneas went to talk to that lone demon again. Maybe they were able to get some more information out of him. Maybe even something to help you."

  Melina shook her head. "The only thing that could help me is if I could get rid of the demon powers for good, but I can't."

  For the next few seconds no one said anything, then Dean decided to break the silence.

  "What do you think Walter and Phinneas will say about that Noxin demon being able to fly?" he asked.

  "Well," said Melina, "if Phinneas is the one helping them now, he may not say much other than feigning ignorance."

  He cocked his head to the side. "You really think Phinneas is working with them again?"

  She shrugged. "Maybe he never stopped."

  "Melina?" Tessa said in a soft voice. "Phinneas said he was no longer working with them. Don't you trust him?"

  "Well, I thought I did…"

  "You either do or you don't," said Tessa.

  Melina held her friend's gaze for a few seconds and then looked down at the floor. She knew what Tessa had said was right, but the demon powers were trying to get her to react in a defensive and negative way. But for the first time she could actually feel the anger inside of her building up instead of coming out in a sudden outburst. Was she gaining some control over the powers? Even if she was, she still didn't trust herself not to lash out at Tessa, so before the anger grew any worse, she stood up from her chair and walked away.

  "What's wrong?" Tessa asked.

  Melina stopped but didn't turn around. "Tess, I think it would be best for you to leave."

  "But why?"

  "Please," Melina said in a forceful tone. "Before I do something to hurt you."

  "Oh no," said Tessa. "It was what I said. I triggered your anger, didn't I? I'm so sorry…"

  Melina spun back around. "Please, Tess!" she yelled, her tone heavy with desperation.

  Tessa sprung up from her chair. Her wide eyes started to water and her chin began to tremble. "I'm sorry," she said again and then rushed over to the door.

  Dean stood up and quickly followed behind her. He opened the apartment door and ushered her down the stairs. When he came back to the apartment, he hesitated at the doorway.

  Melina hurried into her bedroom and slammed the door. As she threw herself onto her bed, she heard the front door close and footsteps coming down the hallway.

  "Melina," Dean called from outside of her door. "Please come back out."

  "No," she said in a loud voice. "I don't want to hurt anyone else." She pulled one of her throw pillows into her chest and hugged it tightly.

  "You can't hide in your room forever," he said.

  He was right. She couldn't stay in her room forever, but she could stay in there for the rest of the day if she wanted to.

  "Melina," he said again as he knocked on her door.

  She didn't respond. A few seconds later, she heard him walk back down the hallway and into the living room. A soft sigh left her as she rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. She was so worried about losing the people she loved, yet she was continually pushing them away. Hopefully they knew she was doing it for their own good.

  ****

  A couple of hours later, Melina was woken up by a loud knocking on her bedroom door. Her eyes fluttered open and she realized that she must've fallen asleep. One glance at the clock on her nightstand confirmed it for her. It was now almost eight o'clock in the morning. She slowly stood up and made her way over to her door. When she opened it, she didn't see Dean as she had expected. It was Walter.

  "Walter," she said. "Did you just now get here?"

  "A few minutes ago," he said. "Are you all right? Dean told me why you locked yourself in here."

  "The incident with Tessa's not the only reason," she said. "Did he also tell you about everything that happened last night?"

  Walter slowly nodded. "He did."

  She shook her head. "I just… I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

  "I know," he said, giving her a small smile. "But I have some good news. Phinneas and I may have a way to help you."

  She bristled at the sound of his name. "Where is Phinneas?"

  "He's in there talking to Dean," Walter said as he gestured back behind him.

  She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

  "Is something wrong?" he asked.

  "There's something pretty serious I need to talk to you two about," she said.

  Walter's eyes narrowed. "We need to tell you something important, too." He tilted his head toward the living room. "Why don't you join us out here so we can all talk."

  Melina hesitated at first, but then slowly followed him out to where Phinneas and Dean were sitting on the couch. She stopped on the outskirts of the room and stared over at Phinneas.

  "Hello, Melina," Phinneas said as he turned in her direction.

  She responded with a stiff nod.

  "It sounds like you and Dean had quite a night last night," he said.

  "Yeah," she said as she crossed her arms in front of her. "Good thing Henry and Merrick showed up."

  "Yes," said Walter, who now stood by the side of the couch where Phinneas was sitting. "We're glad that you and Dean are all right. But I'm a bit confused as to how the Noxin demon even found Dean."

  She shrugged. "My guess is that Maura tracked him down."

  Walt
er nodded.

  "There's something else I'm confused about, though," she said as she turned her gaze to Phinneas. "Did Dean mention how the Noxin demon left the hotel room?"

  "What do you mean?" asked Phinneas. "I'm sure he teleported right out of there when he saw Henry and Merrick arrive."

  Melina shook her head, her expression serious. "He flew."

  "What?" Walter asked as he and Phinneas both looked at her in disbelief.

  "He flew out of a sixth floor window. Henry and Merrick saw it, too." She stared at Phinneas, her eyes unflinching. "How was he able to do that?"

  "I don't know," said Phinneas. "But why are you getting so upset with me?"

  She took a step closer to him. "If Adelia is no longer here, and if your theory is correct, then one of the elders has to be giving the demons the ability to fly. And given your history of working with them, my bet would be on you."

  As she continued to stare at him, her entire body started to shake with adrenaline. She hadn't intended to get so worked up or be so direct, but once she got started, she couldn't stop herself. There was no doubt that the demon powers were part of the cause.

  Phinneas stared back at her with his mouth gaped open.

  "You really think he would be working with the Noxin demons again?" asked Walter. "I thought you trusted him now."

  "I did trust him," said Melina. "But how else could that demon fly?"

  "I don't know," Phinneas said, a look of shock still lingering on his face. "But I can assure you I'm not helping them."

  She kept her gaze locked on Phinneas then suddenly her eyes began to fill with tears. "Then was Adelia not destroyed by my light shield? I know you and the other elders felt that she was gone, but what other explanation is there?"

  Melina closed her eyes, causing the built-up tears to stream down her cheeks. If Adelia hadn't been destroyed, would she come after her again? She suddenly thought of Maura. Adelia had been working with her before, so maybe she still was.

  "Melina." Walter's soft voice broke her train of thought, and when she opened her eyes, he gave her a sympathetic look. "Phinneas isn't helping the Noxin demons again, but you don't need to be paranoid about Adelia either. If she was still here then we would sense her, and we can't."

  "Unless…," said Phinneas, his brow furrowing.

  "Unless what?" said Walter as he turned to look at his fellow elder.

  "Unless she became a Fallen."

  "You mean like a fallen angel?" Dean asked. His eyes widened as he sat up a little straighter on the couch.

  "Yes," said Phinneas. "If an angel loses his way and turns evil, then he becomes a Fallen. He's stripped of his wings and angel powers, and then he essentially becomes a demon."

  Melina nodded. She remembered when Henry had first told her about fallen angels. At the time they had thought that Phinneas was on his way to becoming one. But that was before they had found out that Adelia was really the main one working with the Noxin demons. Her thoughts continued to wander until Walter suddenly spoke up again.

  "But you, Cecil, and Helene all felt that she was destroyed, not that she had crossed over to the evil side."

  Phinneas raised his index finger up in front of him and looked over at Melina. "Unless the crossover took place right as she was about to be destroyed by your exploding light shield. If that happened, then technically her angel side was destroyed, and that's what we felt."

  "But she must have some of her angel powers left if she's still able to transfer her ability to fly over to the Noxin demons," said Melina.

  "Yes," said Phinneas as he nodded. "Adelia was the oldest and most powerful guiding angel in existence. Her powers were very strong, so I have no doubt that she still has some of them. But it's not enough for us to detect, and just enough to help the demons fly. She's probably very weak."

  Melina's forehead crinkled. "That means she still has some good in her, though, right? Since she still has some of her angel powers?"

  Walter and Phinneas both nodded.

  Her eyebrows rose. "So she's not completely lost."

  "If she is still with us, then yes, that means she's not completely lost," said Walter. "And neither are you."

  Melina turned her head toward Walter. "What do you mean?"

  Walter looked at Phinneas, who gave him a small nod, and then turned back to her. "When we talked to the demon again, he told us that if you had absorbed both angel and demon powers, whichever one was absorbed first would always remain the dominant one. Since you absorbed angel powers first, he said the demon powers shouldn't be able to take over unless you allow them to."

  She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. "You think I'm actually allowing the demon powers to take over?"

  Walter shook his head. "Not consciously, no. We think you're passively allowing the demon powers to grow stronger than your angel powers."

  She folded her arms across her stomach and cocked her head to the side. "I'm passively allowing them to grow stronger? And how exactly am I doing that?"

  Phinneas leaned forward and clasped his hands together as he rested his elbows on his knees. "Dean told us that you burned Lee with your touch, but then later you were able to heal his burn marks as well as your own. I think your angel powers might be trying to reverse the demon powers."

  Melina nodded. "Henry said the same thing. He thinks my angel powers might be trying to use the demon powers to do good."

  "And I agree with him," said Phinneas. "Especially that they're trying to reverse the demon powers. It's obvious your angel powers are fighting to come back to the forefront, but you're not allowing them to. Instead you constantly doubt yourself, you're paranoid, believing everything Maura tells you. You think there's nothing you can do to control the demon powers because that's what she's told you. But she's lying, Melina. Doubt and fear are both negative emotions, and that's how Maura wants you to feel. The demon powers feed on negative emotions, so the more you have the stronger they'll become. Remember what I told you about how we all have good and bad in us? You just need to choose which one is going to win."

  Melina stared at him for a couple of seconds and then looked off to the side.

  Phinneas took in a slow breath and then sighed. "You need to have a positive outlook on your situation and believe that you can fight these demon powers."

  "I know," she said as she turned back to him. "It's just not that easy."

  "It can be if you let us help you," said Phinneas.

  She glanced at Dean and Walter, and they both nodded in agreement. Her eyes started to tear up as she slowly nodded back at them. Phinneas was right. She didn't have to do this alone.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Melina was surprised at how much better she felt by admitting to herself that she needed help. And it felt good to know that help had been there all along. She immediately thought of Dean who had no support and, until now, was dealing with his new powers all by himself. His situation made her realize just how lucky she really was to have the friends that she did. They were all so understanding and willing to help her. She had just been too scared to accept their help.

  It was her problem, and she didn't want those who she cared about to get hurt. But what she hadn't realized until now was that by pushing her friends away to prevent them from being hurt physically, she had risked hurting them emotionally. Especially Lee. She still wasn't sure what was bothering him and causing him to act so strange, but she knew some of her actions were probably to blame.

  She needed to go and see him today. He hadn't seemed angry when he left last night, but he also hadn't been too happy. And even though he had said he would always be there for her no matter what, his behavior suggested otherwise. She needed to get to the bottom of what was bothering him so she could try to fix it. But it would have to wait. She wanted to hear what Cecil's and Helene's ideas were about what the Noxin demons could want to use their powers for. And she wanted to know what Walter and Phinneas thought they should do to try and figure out if Adelia
really was still here and still helping the demons.

  She blinked the budding tears away and sighed as she looked around at Walter, Phinneas, and Dean. "So what do we do now?"

  "Well," said Phinneas. "We need to get you around other people so we can try to get your angel powers to come forward again."

  "Okay," she said, "but how are we going to find out if our theory about Adelia is true? And what did Cecil and Helene say when you told them the Noxin demons are planning on using the guiding angel powers for something?"

  "Cecil and Helene are just as worried about the Noxin demons as we are," said Phinneas as he gestured between Walter and himself. "But they're also just as confused. They agree that the angel powers wouldn't be that strong in the demons, so we're not sure what they could do with powers that are so weak."

  Melina's brow furrowed. "I know you've already explained to us why the angel powers would be so weak in the demons, but they didn't seem to be that weak in Maura. She heard my thoughts just fine."

  Phinneas cleared his throat. "Not only is she a Named, but she's the most powerful Noxin demon there is. Her increased strength would allow her to channel more of the angel powers. The rest of the Noxin demons would probably have to work twice as hard to be able to access even half of what Maura can."

  Melina nodded in understanding. "And what about Adelia?"

  "Ah yes. Adelia." Phinneas took in a deep breath and then let out a heavy sigh. "If she has become a Fallen then it may be difficult to find her."

  "But you said she's not completely lost," said Melina. "So if she's still able to use some of her angel powers then couldn't you try to find her with the summoning stone?"

  Dean's brow creased as he glanced between Walter and Phinneas. "What's the summoning stone?"

  "It's a stone we use to call on and locate other angels," said Walter.

  Dean's eyebrows raised. "Wow. That's convenient."

  "It is convenient," Walter said. "When the angel you're trying to find isn't an elder angel. The summoning stone doesn't summon an elder angel like it does for other angels. It can only give a vague location of where they are."