Ginny Moon

by Benjamin Ludwig

  Then I click the word Submit which I’m guessing is like Send and then the X to make the screen go away and I go back to the table to wait for Mrs. Wake.

  EXACTLY 6:57 IN THE MORNING,

  TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14TH

  Before I went outside to get on the bus I counted the five slices of bread that were left in the bread bag and my Forever Mom said the word approximately means close to but not exactly. And that the bread is approximately gone. So if today is September 14th then tonight when I go to bed it will be approximately the 15th. Then at midnight the 15th will be exactly here.

  Approximately is a good word to use when you can’t get to a watch or a clock. It’s also good for thinking about your Baby Doll if you don’t know exactly if anyone found it or exactly the time Gloria might bring it to the Harvest Concert.

  But I can’t think about what time she might come because the bus is pulling into the school parking lot and I see a parked car that looks approximately like the Green Car. My watch says it is exactly 6:59. The car I see is green like I remember but it doesn’t have the thick piece of plastic Gloria taped to the back window when it broke. And standing in front of the car is someone who looks approximately like Gloria but not exactly. She is far away but she is really, really skinny and mostly she has the same kind of hair but she isn’t wearing the shirt from the Facebook picture. I stare and stare at her out the window until we stop in front of the school. Then I get off the bus. I want to walk around the bus to see if it is her but Mrs. Wake is right there on the sidewalk waiting for me. She brings me inside.

  Plus yesterday I told Gloria that she should come to the Harvest Concert so it can’t be her.

  Mrs. Lomos called my Forever Parents yesterday and told them about the glue. I had to write a letter of apology to Mrs. Wake. I take it out of my backpack and hold it out to her. “Here,” I say.

  She takes it.

  We go to homeroom and then to language arts. Now it is exactly 7:45. Mrs. Wake reads the letter when she sits down. All she says is “Thank you, Ginny.” Her mouth is a thin line and she is not talking as much as she did yesterday. I’m guessing she is angry but she isn’t yelling so I don’t have to be careful. But still I don’t argue when she tells me to take out my homework. We are working on the hurricane project both in science and in language arts.

  My homework was to make a list of things to take with me in case there is a hurricane and I need to seek shelter. I made a list of exactly twenty-three things with a line between number five and number six. Everything above the line is what Mrs. Wake helped me with yesterday. Everything under it is what I did on my own.

  1. A cell phone (to call family and friends)

  2. A flashlight (to look at things in the dark)

  3. Food (to eat)

  4. A radio (to hear news about the hurricane)

  5. Batteries (for the radio and the flashlight)

  * * *

  6. Some books about Michael Jackson (to read when I’m not listening to the radio)

  7. My iPod (to listen to when I’m not reading books or listening to the radio)

  8. The headphones to my iPod (to plug into my iPod)

  9. My iPod charger (to charge my iPod)

  10. Some games like Uno, for example (to play)

  11. My hairbrush (to brush my hair)

  12. A scrunchie (to hold my hair up)

  13. My toothbrush (to brush my teeth)

  14. Some toothpaste (to put on my toothbrush)

  15. Deodorant

  16. New underwear (just in case)

  17. Socks (if my feet get wet)

  18. Flip-flops (if my feet get wet again)

  19. A blanket (for everyone to sit on)

  20. Drinks (for us to drink)

  21. A cooler (to keep our drinks cool)

  22. Bendy straws (for our drinks)

  23. Popcorn (to have with our drinks)

  “Come with me, Ginny,” says a voice.

  I look up from my paper. It is Mrs. Lomos. I am surprised she is here. I am surprised by her earrings too. They are little white masks.

  “Come to my office for a minute,” she says. I tell her that I am checking over my homework before I pass it in. She says that I need to go with her now. So I do.

  The time is exactly 7:52. I follow Mrs. Lomos into her tiny office. She asks me to sit down. She shuts the door and says, “Ginny, when was the last time you saw Gloria?”

  “I saw her four years ago on April 18th when the police came to take me away,” I say. “She cried and cried and said, ‘I’m so sorr—’”

  “Are you sure that was the last time you saw her?” says Mrs. Lomos.

  “You interrupted me,” I say.

  “I’m sorry to have interrupted you,” says Mrs. Lomos. “It’s just that you’ve told me how Gloria cried and said, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,’ a lot of different times already. But right now it’s important that you think very hard and tell me if you’ve seen Gloria recently.”

  I’m not sure if Mrs. Lomos is asking a question so I don’t say anything.

  Then Mrs. Lomos says, “Let’s try again. When was the last time you saw Gloria?”

  So I say, “Do you mean exactly or approximately?”

  Mrs. Lomos’s face looks surprised. “Exactly,” she says.

  But I’m still not exactly sure that it was Gloria who I saw in the parking lot so I say, “The last time I exactly saw her was on April 18th four years ago.”

  “Did you approximately see her after that?” she says.

  “Yes,” I say. “I approximately saw her this morning.”

  “How can you be sure it was her?”

  “I said it was only approxi—”

  “Ginny, what did you see?”

  “I saw a person near a green car and her head was mostly the same but her shirt was different.”

  “Thank you,” says Mrs. Lomos. “Now, I have to make a phone call. While I’m doing that, I’m going to give you a very important job. I want you to write down everything that you did this morning.”

  She hands me a pencil and a pad of white lined paper. The pencil is not my Snoopy pencil which is the only pencil I like to use.

  “Everything?” I say.

  “Everything,” says Mrs. Lomos. “Start with what happened when you woke up, and end with what we just finished talking about.”

  So I look at the tip of the pencil which is very, very sharp and I get ready to write. Then I start thinking about how Gloria came to the Blue House and what it might mean that I saw someone who looks approximately like her when I got to school.

  I think and I think and I think.

  And now I see that it is 8:06 and Mrs. Lomos is back in her office with me again. She says, “Hi again, Ginny. Your mother and father are coming to school so that we can all have a talk. A police officer will be with them. Now, I know you don’t like police officers.”

  Sometimes I see police officers on television or in a picture and I am fine with that but when police officers are in places where I don’t expect to see them I get surprised. Like when there’s one around the corner or when one comes to school to be a guest speaker and no one told me. But I don’t say any of that. I don’t say anything because I want to know why my Forever Parents are coming here to talk with me and why a police officer is coming too and mostly I want to know if I approximately or exactly saw Gloria when the bus was pulling into the parking lot. Because if I exactly saw her then I need to get outside and jump in the Green Car quick. Before the police officer gets here.

  Because four years ago when I was nine years old a police officer stood in front of Gloria while the other police officer carried me away. While one of the policemen was holding me the other one pushed Gloria back and then Gloria tried to get pas
t him so he grabbed her arm and pushed her face against the wall and her cheek got flat and her eyes got round and white and she yelled my name and said, “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, Ginny!” over and over while I kicked and tried to fight and Gloria yelled, “That’s my daughter! That’s my daughter!” and then “Ginny, you belong with me!” and then the one who was holding me started carrying me toward the door so I went ape-shit.

  Because they didn’t know where I hid my Baby Doll and when I tried to tell them they didn’t listen. They put me in the back of the police car and brought me straight to the hospital.

  I stand up from the small, hard chair in Mrs. Lomos’s tiny office. I put the pencil down and pick it up again. It is still very sharp. I haven’t written anything. I open the door.

  “Ginny?” says Mrs. Lomos from somewhere behind me.

  I don’t listen. My feet start moving and I hear the swish-swish of my pants rubbing together and now I am running to the library which has a window where you can see the parking lot where I approximately or exactly saw Gloria leaning against the Green Car.

  I pass Mrs. Wake. She opens her mouth to say something but I keep going.

  I throw open the library doors and run past the computers. To the window. I look outside.

  And see her. She isn’t holding my Baby Doll. I look hard to see if I can see into the Green Car. I jump to see if I can see into the backseat but I don’t see a car seat or a baby carrier or anything.

  A police officer stands in front of Gloria pointing at the Green Car. He shakes his head. Gloria’s mouth opens and I know she is angry. Even though I can’t hear her. The police officer points at the Green Car again. Then two more police cars come driving up fast but their lights aren’t on. I hear their engines through the glass. Two more police officers get out of each police car. Now there are five.

  Gloria spits.

  One of the police officers steps really, really close to her. She puts her hands up and turns her head down and away and reaches for the door of the Green Car.

  There is a radiator in front of the window. I climb on top of it and put my arms up against the glass. Then I put my face close to it and hit the glass again and again with my hands and start to scream.

  Gloria looks up. At the window. I lean back to hit the glass as hard as I can. Then I hit it again and again. And again and again. I can’t make it break.

  I jump off the radiator and grab a chair. I lift it up high above my head and run.

  Someone grabs me. The chair comes out of my hands and I fall. It is the principal and Ms. Dana. I am going ape-shit because I need to tell Gloria not to go. I need to tell her to come help me escape but Ms. Dana pulls me down and puts me on the floor. She is on top of me so I can’t get up. I kick and fight. I bite her in the arm. She yells and lets go.

  “Ginny!” I hear someone say. “Ginny!”

  It is Mrs. Lomos. I see her feet.

  I stand. “It—” I say. “It was exa—” But the words don’t come and then the principal grabs me from behind. I am falling but as I go down I look out the window and see the Green Car driving away. Now I’m on the floor again next to a book rack with Julie of the Wolves and Island of the Blue Dolphins. My eyes want to cry but they can’t because my breath is catching and catching and I can’t breathe. I see Ms. Dana and Mrs. Lomos and Mrs. Wake and the librarian and now it feels like I’m under water or a blanket and then everything is dark.

  EXACTLY 3:31 IN THE AFTERNOON,

  TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14TH

  My Forever Parents are home. Both of them. They are in the living room talking with a police officer who is not wearing a uniform. Not the one who came to school. I know he is a police officer because my Forever Parents told me. I am standing up in my room and I will not sit down again until he leaves.

  I am angry because Gloria came to school and I didn’t get to go with her. I told her to come to the Harvest Concert but she came today instead. When I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t see if my Baby Doll was in the backseat. She is completely unreliable. I wish she was like Crystal with a C. Crystal with a C knows I don’t like expressions. I’ll always tell you the truth, Ginny, she used to say to me. Even if it’s hard to hear. I believed her 100 percent and I try to always tell the truth 100 percent too. Or also which is mostly the same as too but spelled different.

  At exactly 3:40 the police officer comes into my room with my Forever Parents.

  I hiss.

  My Forever Mom puts her hand up like she is going to touch my arm.

  I snarl.

  I am one of the Maine coons now. All my fur is up. If anyone touches me—

  “Ginny,” my Forever Mom says, “the police officer isn’t going to hurt you. He’s here to help.”

  Police officers are never here to help even though my Forever Mom doesn’t lie. If they were here to help they would bring me right to Gloria’s. The police officer talks and talks but I don’t listen. Then he says, “Do you understand?” And smiles.

  His name is Officer Joel but his name doesn’t matter because all police officers are exactly the same.

  The police officer says that if I see Gloria again I should tell my Forever Parents or a teacher immediately. Immediately means now, no matter what. He says that I need to stay here at the Blue House with my Forever Family because they are my family now. When I tell him that I need to see if my Baby Doll is okay he says that Gloria is not a safe person. He says it isn’t safe to go back to the apartment because she used to leave me alone too much and she hurt me. And all the strange men and the drugs. And didn’t I remember what happened to the cat? The police officer says the same thing could have happened to me. “We wouldn’t want something like that to happen to a little kid, would we?”

  So I scream, “Then why won’t you let me go get my Baby Doll?”

  He shakes his head and keeps talking. He talks about unsanitary conditions and abuse and the cat. Snowball. He is wrong about what happened to it but I am so upset that all I can do now is say the word wrong, wrong, wrong over and over in my brain and put my hands over my ears because he doesn’t understand. He knows only approximately what happened.

  And I know exactly.

  EXACTLY 10:05 IN THE MORNING,

  WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH

  I am in Patrice’s office. I didn’t go to school. Patrice’s office has three soft chairs in it. One has flowers all over it. She has a skinny black-and-white cat named Agamemnon who likes to make bread on your lap. Making bread is an expression because Agamemnon doesn’t know how to bake. It doesn’t hurt when Agamemnon makes bread because his claws were removed when he was little. He doesn’t remember the operation, Patrice says. But right now I don’t see Agamemnon. I look for him every time I come here because I really like cats. I want to get a cat but my Forever Parents won’t let me. They say it isn’t appropriate. Not appropriate means that something doesn’t belong. Even though I think it really does. Especially after Snowball.

  Patrice is in the kitchen. “Ginny, do you want to help me put together a snack?” she says. I stop looking for Agamemnon and go to help her. Patrice says that food and drinks help people relax. Today’s snack is Hershey’s Kisses and milk. I pour a whole bag of them into a bowl and bring it out into the room with the chairs. Then I sit down and start eating.

  “So what’s all this drama I’m hearing about?” says Patrice.

  I don’t know what drama is so I say, “I don’t understand the question.” Patrice taught me that. I’m supposed to say I don’t understand when there’s something I want to know or when I don’t understand. Patrice says asking for help is part of self-advocating.

  “Drama means a lot of feelings and loud actions,” says Patrice. “When someone says there was some drama, it means there were some crazy things going on.”

  “I didn’t see any crazy things,” I
say and put another Hershey’s Kiss in my mouth. And then I look up because it’s a rule that You should make eye contact when you talk with someone.

  “I’m sorry,” says Patrice. “I shouldn’t put it that way. It’s not drama at all, really. It’s just that a lot is going on all at once. Can you tell me about what happened yesterday with Gloria? Your parents tell me she came to school.”

  I crinkle the silver wrapper between my fingers into a ball. “That’s right,” I say. “Gloria came to my school. I saw her in the parking lot yesterday when I got off the bus. She had the Green Car.”

  “When you first saw her, what did you think?”

  “I wasn’t sure if it was her.”

  “Why weren’t you sure?”

  “Because she had a different head.”

  “If you had been sure it was her, what would you have done differently?”

  I don’t answer because I don’t want Patrice to know what I would have done. I close my mouth tight and start counting.

  Then Patrice says, “No one knows how she managed to find where you live, but she wasn’t supposed to come see you. It’s not allowed, Ginny. It’s just not safe. She’s still completely impulsive. She hasn’t changed at all. Well, maybe I shouldn’t go that far, but she still flies off the handle.”

  “Did she peel out?” I ask. Because Gloria gets really, really mad when someone says she isn’t allowed to do something.

  “I’m not sure,” says Patrice.

  “Did she make quite a scene?”

  “From what I was told, yes, she did. She tried to get into the building. The doors were locked and she wouldn’t go away. She asked if she could see you, but since no one at school knew who she was, they called the police. Then she used a rock to try to break through the door. The police walked her back to her car, and that’s when you climbed up to the window.”

  I sit and I think. I am glad Patrice is telling me what happened. Patrice always tells me the truth. She calls it telling it straight because a lot of people keep things secret from me.