“You should,” he encouraged. “Let him take you out. I think you’ll do really well together if I’m honest.”
I eyed him sceptically. “You’re sure you truly won’t mind, Jason? If I start seeing your brother?”
He chuckled. “No. Seems to me that all I can do at this point is cross my fingers that you’ll last a lifetime.”
“If we end up not working out, I promise I’ll be able to act civil around him. You won’t be torn between loyalties.”
When he suddenly blew his cheeks out and looked away from me, I realised how much he sincerely dreaded such an outcome. “Yeah, it’s not you I’m worried about if it comes to that.”
“You don’t think William would be capable of the same?” Trepidation unfurled in my chest.
He grimaced. “Considering how things ended with Kate, I doubt it.”
I blinked. I would need to probe William about her sometime soon. “Oh. What happened there?”
“Nothing terrible. They ended things on a relatively good note, according to him. However, he prefers to leave exes in the past rather absolutely. I think they’ve only spoken once or twice since.”
“But Kate isn’t your friend, so that situation can’t be compared to ours.”
“I hope you’re right. I’ll be keeping you around either way, so he’ll have to manage.”
I gulped. “I’m having second thoughts hearing this, Jason.”
“No, don’t,” he insisted resolutely. “Never mind what I said. I’m just preparing for the worst here, while hoping for the best. Besides, I actually think you’ll work out. You’re sort of similar in quite a lot of ways – only he’s a bigger dick than you are.”
I chortled at the way he tried to sell me this. “I’m not a dick.”
He gave me a playful smile. “But while he can be a bit of a dick, he generally isn’t. He’s got very firm principles laid out for himself. He’s just very assertive about reaching his goals. Always has been. And I’m sorry to say it, but right now, you’re his goal. To make matters worse, he knows you’re attracted to him, and since you said you’ll consider giving him a chance, he’s seeing light at the end of the tunnel. So, unless you make it crystal clear to him that you don’t want anything else, and act accordingly, he’s unlikely to stop chasing you anytime soon. That means you can’t make a move on him on a drunken whim, Cara, much less flirt with him, unless you’re serious about this.”
I shoved another spoonful of cereal into my mouth. “Tell me about it. I’m starting to realise that I’m causing more damage by not being with him, which is completely counterintuitive. You’d think dating my boss, and my flatmate’s brother, would be enough of a clusterfuck. But he makes that look like paradise compared to this mayhem. Anyway, there’s no need to worry, because I am serious about this. I know I’ve been fickle, but once I make up my mind, it’s final. I’m in this for the long haul now.” After swallowing, I added, “And I am sorry about the mixed signals. I really am. But in my defence, I’ve been terribly confused about all this. I’ve never been romantically involved with anyone before, and I was determined to keep it that way at first, because I’m scared that he’ll mess with my priorities and that I’ll be unhappy in a relationship.”
He sent me a shrewd smile. “Cara, if anything, Will is going to be a positive contribution to your life. He’s as career driven as you are. He’ll be cheering you on more than anyone, and you can be sure he’ll go out of his way to help you reach your goals. You don’t need to worry about that. I speak from experience. He’s cheered me on ever since I can remember. Besides, you’re in the same field!” He motioned towards me. “In case you need your memory jogged, the man’s already a solicitor. I’m sure he’ll offer you invaluable guidance anytime you need it.”
I couldn’t help smiling at the idea of that. “I see your father and brother have been rubbing off on you. You’re arguing like a lawyer, Jase. Picked the wrong course of study, perhaps?”
His laughter was music to my ears, and the sound of it brightened my mood.
“No way,” he said. “I’m only damaged by environment.”
When silence ensued between us, it dawned on me that I had finally reached a conclusion, so while staring into my nearly empty bowl of cereal, I smiled to myself. “I’ve got to say – I’m impressed with Will for managing to sway my mind. I seriously hadn’t thought anyone could make me even consider dating.” After a quick pause, I shrugged to myself and resumed, “Not for another couple of years, at least.”
“Yeah, well, you might as well get used to it. I’m afraid that’s why he’s such a talented solicitor. He can turn any situation around. It made growing up with him a living hell. Fortunately for me, Dad has the same mind, so he sees straight through it. Provided some justice for my less cunning personality.”
“He really is remarkably cunning,” I agreed with a nod. “That’s a perfect word to describe him.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a gift,” I murmured. I had to give it to him: if I were to overlook all the ruckus he caused, he was one hell of a natural talent. Frankly, I was so impressed that I felt slightly intimidated. A relationship with William Night? I imagined myself feeling constantly walked over, and that wasn’t something I wanted. But as Jason had said, he deserved a chance. And I already knew I wanted him. So, what did I have to lose?
Perhaps my mind, I thought to myself. And my heart, I continued. I worried he’d launch me into insanity with his overbearing character. But these were mere assumptions and based on very little evidence, and I usually wasn’t one to act on mere assumptions. I preferred to keep an open mind.
“I’ll need to tell Aaron about this,” I eventually said and shoved another spoonful into my mouth.
“Do you reckon he’ll be angry?” Jason queried, somewhat concerned.
I grimaced. “After last night? Yeah, definitely. If William hadn’t provoked him, then perhaps not, but we’ll never know now.”
“I’m sure he’ll get over it soon enough,” he consoled me. “Aaron doesn’t strike me as the type to stay angry.”
“Yeah, I reckon he’ll be more disappointed than anything else, because he’ll need to find a new bed partner now. I just hope William won’t mind us remaining friends.”
Jason cocked his head from side to side. “That’s entirely up to you. Fundamentally, Will isn’t an insecure person. At all. If you reassure him well enough, it’s likely that he won’t have a problem with you and Aaron being just mates. But I might be wrong. I mean, I’m seeing totally new sides of him right now, and I think he is, too. You’re changing him. But I gather he’s only insecure now because you’re not actually his.”
“His,” I echoed. “Sounds so… primitive.”
“You know what I mean.”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
I dreaded Aaron’s reaction to this, and honestly, I knew I’d be grieving when I lost him. We were so familiar with each other. Even if there had never been romantic love present between us, there was certainly a platonic version of love. So, while I might not have been attached to him romantically, I was still attached to him as a person, and severing that tie wasn’t going to be comfortable. Moreover, the thought of building something new with someone else was somewhat taxing because, if at all, it would take years before Will and I reached the point where Aaron and I were now.
But William made me feel electric, as though my blood tingled in my veins. He set my heart on fire and made me feel more alive than I ever had. He made me not only want him but actually crave him. So, perhaps my concern was ill-founded.
“Cara, can you honestly say that you’re not even remotely infatuated with William?” Jason queried then, bringing me out of my thoughts. I stiffened and glared at him slightly.
“Well, I haven’t felt anything remotely similar before.”
He folded his arms and arched his left eyebrow
. “Thought so. Do you remember how smitten you were when you came back from his after the first time you met? Because I do. And you were like a puppy on MDMA.”
My nose wrinkled. “Interesting simile.”
“Accurate, though.”
I sighed again. “I don’t know what I’m feeling yet, Jason. This is all so new to me. But there’s no denying that I’m more interested than I’ve ever been in a man before. Is that not enough?”
“No, it’s enough. I’m not entirely convinced, though. I think you’re a bit infatuated, even if you won’t admit or realise it. And I say that because I’ve never seen you behave like this.”
“Like what?”
“Incapable of keeping your hands off a man.”
I blushed profusely. “You haven’t actually seen that. You’ve only heard what Will has told you.”
“But was he lying?”
I scowled. “No.”
He presented a devilish grin. “And there’s my point.”
I responded only with a roll of my eyes.
“Will you tell him when he wakes?” He looked so hopeful that I had to grin.
“That’s the plan. Do you think he’s still interested?”
He curved a brow. “Er, yes.”
My heart tensed with panic. “I hope so.”
Jason scratched his cheek. “One more thing – and this is going to sound very wrong, but I’m just so curious.”
“What?”
“Is he really that good in bed?” he asked, a little intimidated. “I remember you said he was the best you’d ever been with.”
I burst out laughing. I wouldn’t have seen that one coming in a million years. “Sibling rivalry, Jason?”
“I’m just a bit impressed.”
“Well, it’s been months since I last slept with him, but if he’s maintained his skills, then yes, he is outstanding.”
He nodded to himself. “Any tips?”
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” I giggled and opened the dishwasher to stow my bowl away.
“You know, I think I might.”
“Do. Men like William should spread their knowledge. It’s not fair that such a small number of women get to experience sex like that. What I can tell you is that the woman’s pleasure is his only focus. I’ve never met a man more attuned to the female body during sex in my life. Aaron’s great, but William’s another level.”
“Hm.” Jason hummed to himself while I sauntered towards the living room to get settled on the sofa.
“I’m spending the day in today. Have you got any plans, or shall we find a TV show to binge until William wakes?”
“I’m in.”
“Can we still cuddle, or is that off—”
“Hey, I’ve agreed to share you with him, not give you to him.”
Charmed, I smiled to myself.
27
SKIN OF THE NIGHT
It was nearly one o’clock when I woke from an accidental nap. Sprawled across Jason on the sofa, I turned my head to see that he was fast asleep as well. Alarm spread through my mind upon realising I’d spent time unconscious. Had William gone in the meantime? I had to find out.
To show consideration, I released Jason from my hold as gently as possible and proceeded to approach my bedroom. As quietly as I could manage, I opened the door to peek inside, and sure enough, William was still sleeping soundly in my bed. The view left a tender smile on my mouth. Closing the door again, I decided to make him breakfast.
Unbeknownst to me, I had been wearing the same smile when I suddenly sensed a presence behind me sometime later. Turning away from the omelette I was making, I nearly squealed at the sight of William standing so close, but knowing Jason was asleep prevented it from streaming out of my mouth. Instead, I recoiled towards the stove while my hand rushed to cover my mouth.
Realising I’d been about to make a harsh sound, William raised his index finger to his lips to command silence before he cocked his head in Jason’s direction. Understanding, I nodded. Recovering from the jolt, I straightened myself and did a visual sweep of his body, which towered only a couple of feet away from me. His hair was damp, and a white towel was wrapped around his hips. Yet again, I was blinded by his beauty. Blood painted my face a bright shade of red while my eyes traced the line of hair climbing up from his towel towards his navel. I knew where the strands began, and the thought aroused me.
Breaking out of my trance, I faced the stove again, but I froze with tension when he arrived right behind me. The heat of his body radiated against my own. Gulping, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He leaned over my shoulder, eyes shifting between the frying pan and my profile. Very gently, he rested his hand on my hip.
I ceased breathing.
“Have you got a minute?” he whispered.
“Um, is it urgent? I’m cooking you breakfast,” I whispered back.
His lips drew nearer to my ear. My heart thundered.
“You’re very sweet, but my appetite is non-existent at the moment. Talking might solve it, as well as a lot of other things.”
Since I saw no reason to refuse his request, I switched off the stove and left the spatula resting on the edge of the frying pan. When I turned, he reached for my hand and entwined our fingers. Then, he led the way to my bedroom. Knowing how serious our imminent conversation was bound to be, I squeezed his hand and swallowed. My nervous heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour when he opened the door to my bedroom and walked in.
A small gap between the curtains allowed some light of day to illuminate my room, and through it, I saw heavy rain cascading from the sky. The sound of it tapping against the windows soothed my heart somewhat, as it mollified my impression of the moment’s urgency. Instead, it summoned a sense of intimacy.
I shut the door after us.
“Did you sleep well?” It was the first thing I could think to say.
Without letting go of my hand, he resumed walking and dragged me towards my bed. Finding a seat on it, he avoided my eyes and kept his gaze upon my bedroom door.
His hesitation was obvious. To allow him room to sort out his thoughts, I patiently took a seat beside him. All the while, I kept my hand within his.
“Cara, I can’t do this anymore,” he eventually said, and I thought I heard the sound of my heart’s last breaths.
Tears of pain and misery surfaced in my eyes, so I looked away from his profile and set my gaze on the rug beneath my feet. Knowing I had failed to appreciate him the way he deserved, I couldn’t bear the sight of his beauty anymore. Panic raged through my veins, stopping me from stringing together a reply.
Had he returned only to end things once and for all?
“This back and forth, this waiting around,” he continued when I failed to respond, “it’s turned me into a man I no longer recognise, and I can’t stand him.”
Fear made my grip tighten around his hand. “William, I made a mistake.”
“You lied to me.”
The reminder extracted a whimper from my mouth. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you after I’d met him.”
His gaze remained fixed on the door. “Why did you lie?”
Agony revealed itself in my expression. “I… I didn’t think it was any of your business, and I knew you’d react strongly. I just didn’t have the strength to handle it yesterday. And I wanted to spare you the anxiety. It was my friend’s birthday, Will. I wanted to be there, so your objection wouldn’t have mattered. I just thought it would be easier for us both if I lied about it.”
Not a sound escaped him.
“William, I’m sorry.” I looked at him with desperation. “It was a mistake. I swear I won’t repeat it. I learnt my lesson last night. I won’t ever abuse your trust like that again.”
His jaw clenched. “You’re so inexperienced.”
“I know.�
�� My voice broke. “I’m sorry you’ve had to endure it.”
With some effort, he withdrew his hand from my hold, and it only increased my misery. He was pulling away in more ways than one.
“I still don’t understand why you would go so far as to bring him home with you, especially after what happened between us the night before. Lying about him being there is one thing, but then you actually intended to sleep with him as well. Why is that? Is it because you’ve actually got feelings for him?”
His question sucked the air out of me. “What – no. Of course not.”
“Then why? Why did you do it?”
Tears prickled my eyes. Tensing, my face contorted. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. It was just sex. I’ve been sleeping with Aaron for a long time, Will. To me, it would just have been one more time out of many – nothing else. Just casual, meaningless sex.”
He pressed his lips together, but he said nothing, and his silence triggered a tear of mine to fall over. He was shutting me out, and I hated it.
“Really, Will – sleeping with him wasn’t something I had planned to do. The evening just progressed, and he proposed to take me home. I accepted on a whim because we were having a good time and I was enjoying his company. It wasn’t like I woke up yesterday and thought, ‘I should invite Aaron over to have sex tonight.’ Really, it just… happened. I was drunk, and I didn’t see what harm it could do.”
His eyebrows furrowed.
Upset, my gaze slid back to the rug beneath my feet. Wiping my cheeks, I said, “I’ll admit that part of the reason I wanted to see him last night was that I hoped it would help me sort out my thoughts. He’s so familiar to me, Will. I wasn’t sure I was willing to sacrifice that for you, but it was stupid. I realise that now.”
Processing my rationale, he remained quiet. Since he hadn’t said anything in a while, I wasn’t sure whether I’d been elaborate enough. So, hoping to enlighten him further, I continued, “In my head, we’re not exclusive, Will. We’re not in a relationship, so I didn’t think I owed you any loyalty yet. However, I realise now that I’ve treated the situation too rationally – my perspective was too black and white. It was wrong of me, and I know that now. We’ve been in the grey area, so my actions were tactless. I should have made up my mind before I saw him again.”
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 41