The Heart's Haven

by Jill Barnett

  Abner opened his mouth and sucked in more smoke, and then the image changed. The small, cowering fox bared his teeth, and the animal’s jaw grew. The fox became a lion, roaring his rage and charging the hunters, who now had faces: Hayes, Prescott, and the man who was being crushed in the lion’s jaw, the man who’d cornered the fox—Kit Howland.

  Abner laughed, for the fox had grown into a lion and exacted his revenge.

  Chapter Twenty

  Kit awoke with a start. His muscles didn’t ache. He was in a bed, a soft, warm, heavenly bed. Then he remembered Hallie. He was on his side, facing the edge of the bed, so he couldn’t see if she was awake. He stared at the wall for a minute, trying to decide how he could turn over and not wake her. She was liable to clobber him—or kick him onto the floor, as she had before. Closing his eyes, he groaned and rolled over, flinging his arm up above his head so he could open one eye and peer from under his arm. The bed was empty.

  He sighed with relief and then scanned the room. She wasn’t there. He gave in to the luxury of a yawn, and laid there savoring the feel of the bed. Once he decided to treat the marriage like a business partnership, he’d made amazing progress, from sleeping in the study to the bedroom, from barely speaking to a halfway companionable—even entertaining—evening out with his wife, and his latest progress, moving from the chair to the bed.

  Now he needed to quell her fear. If he could just catch Hallie unaware, apply a little seduction, he’d be able to show her that physical loving wasn’t always painful. He’d teach her pleasure, even if the control killed him.

  Throwing back the covers, Kit got out of bed. From all the light shining through the bedroom windows, he knew it was late. He washed and shaved with the tepid water left in the pitcher and then dressed. He descended the stairs, feeling better than he’d felt in a long time.

  The mouth-watering smell of bread baking and fried ham made his stomach growl like Lee’s. He entered the kitchen where fresh bread sat cooling on the kitchen table. He poured some coffee from the tin pot, picking out the eggshells that floated on the top of his mug. He must have reached the bottom of the pot. Grabbing the butter crock from its cool home in the water tub, he crossed over to the kitchen table, sipping distractedly on his black coffee. It was strong and gritty from the grounds, but this morning he didn’t care.

  The Alta sat folded near the bread. Sitting down, he tore off a chunk of warm bread and rubbed it in the white butter, then folded it in two to better shove it into his mouth. He opened the paper and chewed while he read.

  “Did you catch him?” Maddie stood in the doorway. “That horrid Abner Brown?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know how that bastard got away. Lee and I thought we had him.”

  “I’d love to be alone in a room for about five minutes with that scum—”

  The twins raced into the room, cutting off Maddie with their arguing.

  “It was your fault!” one accused.

  “Was not! You let him out of the bag. That’s when he got loose,” the other retorted.

  “You two stop your arguing,” Maddie ordered. “The damage is done, and you promised—no more pets.”

  “But it looked just like Liv’s cat,” one of them said.

  “That’s enough! You two sit down and I’ll get you something—Christopher! What are you doing to my bread?”

  “Eating it,” Kit said, ripping off another chunk and swabbing it across the crock. “Isn’t that what it’s for?”

  Maddie glared at him. “Don’t you get smart with me, I used to wipe your nose when you were no bigger than these two!” She spun around and started banging around the kitchen.

  The twins sidled over to Kit with looks of wonder on their faces. The one on Kit’s left spoke first. “You used to be little?” His eyes grew more.

  Kit laid down the paper. “Yup. ‘Bout your size.”

  “Really?” the other one asked.

  Kit smiled at him and then looked back and forth between the two. For the life of him, he could not tell these boys apart. “Which one is which?”

  The boy on his left scrutinized Kit.

  Ah, Kit thought, this must be Gunnar, the thinker.

  “Are you mad at us for the skunk?” he asked, his eyes still trying to read Kit.

  Kit hid a smile, knowing these two little boys had no idea how indebted he was to them.

  The one on the right piped up. “It was his idea. I just opened the bag.”

  Knut, the tattletale, Kit thought. “No, I’m not angry, this time . . .” he said, forcing a stern tone into his voice. “But don’t pull something like that again.”

  Gunnar looked relieved. “Okay,” he agreed, and the imp grinned. “I’m Gunnar.”

  “And I’m Knut!” the other boy said, following his brother’s suit.

  Kit tore off some more bread and handed it to the boys. They sat down next to him, mimicking his butter dipping.

  A butter knife clunked onto the table, along with three plates and some cloth napkins. “Use the knife, Kit, you’re teaching these two bad habits,” Maddie ordered, and then returned to her work at the dry sink.

  “I like you,” Gunnar admitted, making Kit smile.

  “I like you too,” Kit said. “Both of you.”

  Knut smiled with his mouth full. He swallowed and then added his two cents. “Even if you are old.”

  Kit choked on his coffee.

  “Will we be tall when we’re old like you?” Gunnar asked.

  “Probably,” Kit answered, adding under his breath, “if you live that long.”

  A snort came from Maddie’s direction.

  “I’m sorry our skunk smelled up your room.” Gunnar mimicked Kit and ripped off a chunk of bread.

  “But it doesn’t stink anymore,” Knut added. “Maddie said so. Huh, Maddie?”

  “It’s aired out,” Maddie replied, wiping her hands on her apron and checking the other batch of bread in the oven.

  “Now you don’t have to sleep with Hallie anymore,” Gunnar reasoned.

  There was sudden quiet from Maddie’s direction, and Kit tried to think of something to say. Finally, he resorted to logic. “I married your sister, and married people sleep together.”

  Both boys were thoughtful. Then Gunnar said, “But you didn’t sleep with Hallie at first. You sleeped down here, remember?”

  Maddie leaned against the range, crossing her arms. “This one I’ve got to hear.”

  Kit scowled at Maddie. Then he turned to “the boys. “I . . . uh—”

  The door burst open and Liv came running in. “She had her kittens! My cat had her kittens! Come see.”

  The boys raced out of the room, and Kit relaxed.

  Maddie walked over. “You’ve more luck than any man deserves. I’d have paid a pretty penny to hear you explain your pigheadedness to those two boys.”

  “I’m trying to make up for it, Maddie. Just give me time.”

  Maddie started to leave the kitchen, but she paused at the door. “As far as this marriage goes, you’ve had an angel on your shoulder, Kit Howland, and from the way you’ve treated Hallie, I don’t think you deserve it. All I can figure is that you’re a prime example of how the Lord protects dumb animals.” With that, she left the room.

  Duncan helped Hallie down from the carriage, and she turned, waiting for him to get Dagny. The huge man lifted her sister and carefully set her down, as if Dagny would break in two. Hallie took her sister’s arm and helped her ascend the stairs. Duncan opened the door and followed them inside.

  Hallie untied Dagny’s cloak and removed her gloves, while her sister just stood there, staring. There was no life in her eyes and she never spoke, nor acknowledged that she heard or recognized anyone. Hallie had hoped that Dr. Jim would have some suggestions, some diagnosis, or a cu
re. But this visit was the same as the others—hopeless. He said she could snap out of her dazed world at any time or . . . never. They would have to wait, and waiting was not something Hallie did well. She was a doer, not a waiter.

  “Are you going to take her up to her room?” Duncan asked.

  He seemed anxious, as if her answer was critical.

  Hallie removed her own gloves and cloak before she replied. “I thought she might like to sit in the parlor for a while.” Hallie glanced at Duncan, whose eyes gave away his thoughts. “Would you like to do me a favor and keep her company for a little bit?”

  His eyes lit up.

  “The doctor said we should spend time talking or reading to her. He thinks it might help her come out of this thing.”

  “I’d like to help, if you don’t mind?”

  A small smile played at Hallie’s lips. “I think Dagny would like that.”

  Duncan smiled shyly. “Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Howland.”

  Hallie’s stomach twisted. She turned to Duncan, who had just taken Dagny’s arm to guide her into the parlor. “Call me Hallie, Duncan, please.”

  The huge man nodded, then gently guided her sister into the other room, talking to her softly.

  Hallie walked down the hallway. The door to Kit’s study was open, and Hallie could hear the sound of Liv and the twins’ voices, arguing. She looked into the room. Liv, the twins, and Maddie were stooped over something behind Kit’s massive desk.

  “What’s going on?” Hallie asked.

  Maddie smiled and waved her in, and Knut’s head popped up. “It’s the kittens, Hallie! The cat had her kittens!”

  “My cat had her kittens,” Liv corrected.

  Hallie walked over to the desk, and there, settled deep in the bottom drawer of Kit’s desk, was Mrs. Skunk and five little newborn kittens.

  “Oh, they’re so cute, Liv.” Hallie watched the kittens squirm blindly around their mother’s belly.

  “They look like wet rats,” Gunnar decided.

  “So did you,” Liv retorted. “I remember.”

  Gunnar stuck his tongue out at Liv, but Knut looked horrified. “Me too?”

  “That’s enough,” Maddie warned.

  “Do we get to keep them?” Knut asked.

  “That’s up to Liv. They’re her responsibility,” Maddie answered, drawing Hallie out of hearing range.

  “What did the doctor say?”

  “Same as before,” Hallie told her. “He did say we shouldn’t keep her shut up in her room. He suggested that she be around the family as much as possible, and he thought that reading and talking to her was a good idea. He said he felt she wouldn’t be able to block us out of her mind forever, but we have to be patient.”

  “Where is she now?” Maddie glanced into the hall, looking for Dagny.

  “Duncan is with her, in the parlor.”

  Maddie nodded and then placed her hand gently on Hallie’s arm. “Abner got away, Hallie. Kit told me.”

  Hallie shook her head.

  “They’ll catch him,” Maddie said with conviction.

  Hallie nodded and then glanced at the children, who were huddled around the drawer, whispering like conspirators.

  Maddie called out to them, “Come on you three, it’s time to let the new mother alone for a while.”

  Hallie wondered if Kit was still home, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to ask Maddie. It seemed like every time Hallie mentioned his name lately, Maddie started in, listing his faults. Hallie didn’t need to listen to them because she knew them all. She mentally recited them herself whenever she couldn’t get him out of her head, and those times were increasing to the point that she wondered if she were obsessed with him.

  It was then that her obsession stuck his handsome head in the room. “Where’s the new mother?”

  “In your bottom desk drawer,” Maddie told him as she left the room.

  Kit groaned and went over to inspect the damage, squatting just behind Liv. “Those are my contracts,” he said.

  Liv patted his shoulder gently. “They made a wonderful bed for her, see?” She glowed with pride and a tenderness that Hallie hadn’t seen in Liv since the death of their mother.

  Kit covered her hand with his, patting her in turn as he shook his head at the drawer and its new occupants.

  Knut jumped up. “Liv’s gonna keep ‘em all, an’ she said we get to help her take care of them, an’ Kit, y’know what?”

  “No, what?” Kit asked, his undivided attention focused on Knut’s excited face.

  “Liv’s gonna give one to Hallie for her birthday.”

  “Knut!” Liv cried. “That was a surprise, and you ruined it!”

  He hung his head. “Sorry.”

  Kit pinned Hallie with a heated look.

  The room was suddenly very warm, and Hallie began to sweat, almost as if her body were melting under his scrutiny.

  “What day is her birthday?” he asked, his eyes never leaving Hallie’s face.

  She was silent, but Liv answered. “The twenty-seventh.”

  “Then she’ll be older. Almost as old as you,” Knut said.

  Kit chuckled. “Nineteen? Boy, that is old.”

  It was hard for Hallie to watch this side of Kit. It reminded her of the marbles, and that memory always made her heart sing. When he was kind to her, it was all she could do not to throw herself into his arms and declare her love, and when he showed a vulnerable side, as he had when he asked her to help him make the best of their marriage, the strength of her love for him was frightening.

  So, here she was again, needing to put some distance between them to keep safe the secret of her heart. She murmured some excuse and started to leave, but Kit straightened and used his tall body to block her exit. She could feel his eyes boring into the top of her head, as if he could stare her into looking up. She fought the urge to do so with every bit of her willpower.

  “I wanted to thank you,” he said.

  It was the last thing she expected to hear. “What for?”

  “Letting me sleep in the bed.”

  She turned away, embarrassed and uncomfortable. “It’s a big bed.” Her words seemed to echo in the heavy silence that followed. Uncomfortable, Hallie searched for something else to say and finally blurted, “Besides, you were . . . clothed.” Then she ducked under his arm and fled to the kitchen.

  Hallie went straight to the table and busied herself by clearing it. Then Kit came in, whistling. She ignored him as best she could, treating the cleaning job as if it were tantamount to her existence. She grabbed the paper, but Kit plucked it from her hand.

  “I need this,” he said, looking excessively pleased. “Well, I’m off. I’ve got something to take care of, so I’ll see you both later.”

  He was looking at her when he spoke, but Maddie, who was busy baking, muttered a “humph,” her usual good-bye. Hallie picked up the butter crock as Kit reached the door. Out of the corner of her eye she caught his hesitation.

  “Hallie?”

  She looked up at his grinning face.

  “You looked.”

  What was he talking about?

  He leaned a little farther into the room and whispered, “Under the covers.”

  The door closed, shutting out the sound of the butter crock as it crashed onto the wooden floor.

  “Ohhh no, not again!” Hallie bent down to pick up the pieces of the teapot. It was the fourth thing she’d broken today. She bundled the broken china in her apron and stood up, intending to throw them away before Maddie saw her latest accident. Unfortunately, Maddie stood by the back door with a heavy laundry basket wedged on her hip, surveying the mess. “Oh Maddie, I’m sorry.” Hallie dumped the pieces into a waste barrel near the dry sink, then grabbed a cloth from a wooden peg and s
opped up the tea. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I’m—”

  “A mess—a nervous wreck,” Maddie finished, setting the basket on a table and walking over to help Hallie to her feet. Maddie took the wet cloth, tossed it near the pump, then grabbed Hallie’s hand and led her to the table. “Sit!” she ordered.

  Hallie sagged against the chair slat, folded her arms and felt completely useless.

  Maddie sat down across from her. “Now, what’s bothering you?”

  “Everything.” Hallie stared at the dark wood grain of the tabletop, distractedly running her finger along the lines.

  “Hallie, please, talk to me.” Her hand covered Hallie’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I thought things were better between you two. Why, in the past couple of days you’ve been smiling, and yesterday you were so excited about the play. What has that idiot nephew of mine done now?”

  “He slept with me.” Hallie stared at the wood again, and missed the knowing smile Maddie valiantly hid with a cough.

  “Hallie, I’m well aware that the two of you have been . . . intimate. It goes along with being married. You know that.”

  “Oh, but we haven’t been intimate,” Hallie declared, and when she saw Maddie’s startled face, she clarified. “Well, not since just after we married—you remember, when Kit moved into his study?”

  “I remember, but he’s moved back in, and you both seemed to be getting along better, so I assumed you had worked things out. Today you’re acting like you did right after the wedding.”

  “When he moved back in, I made him sleep in the chair,” Hallie admitted quietly.

  “That’s better than he deserved,” Maddie said firmly.

  “But I woke up this morning with him in the bed, and he’s been really kind, and that makes it so much harder to ignore him.”

  “Why do you want to ignore him?”

  “Because if I don’t, we’re going to end up—” Hallie averted her eyes.

  “You’re married, Hallie, it’s all right for you two to . . . end up, as you put it.”

  “But I love him,” Hallie wailed. “And he d-doesn’t love me, and he never will. He l-loved his first wife and then she hurt him and l-left him and died and he can’t love me, a-and I f-feel horrible!” Hallie swiped at the stupid tears running from her eyes.