Blurry: A Student Teacher, Age Gap Romance

by Michelle Hercules

  He laughs against my hair, but it’s a sound without humor. “You’re not fucked up, my love. I am.”

  He must be thinking about his friend Jamie and his reckless past. I touch Alistair’s face, wanting to offer him comfort. It’s not enough—those scars will never vanish completely—but I’ll try my best to make the burden easier for him as long as he’ll let me.

  He grabs my hand, turning it around to place a soft kiss on my palm.

  “I didn’t mean to make it about me. I’m sorry,” he says.

  “Please don’t apologize. Misery loves company.”

  My stomach decides it’s been ignored long enough and growls even louder.

  “Okay, let’s hop into the shower and go find something to eat,” Alistair says.

  “Together?”

  “If you want to.”

  I grin. “Yes, I need help reaching some hard places.”

  49

  Alistair

  We headed back to Milan yesterday, and I checked us into a hotel. Knowing something bad had happened between Chiara and her mother, Max brought her clothes to us. He didn’t linger, and it didn’t take a genius to see the guy was battling his own problems. With red eyes and a scruff, he looked nothing like the young man I met before.

  I noticed how tense Chiara got when Max gave her a hug, how she watched him with guilt in her eyes. Not that she has anything to feel guilty about.

  The wake and the funeral aren’t being held in Milan but at a family property in Lake Como. When Chiara mentioned the Moretti name had weight, I didn’t realize they were that important. It makes it even more appealing to the media that a member of one of the most prominent families in Italy was part of a huge financial scandal. No doubt the entire family will be under scrutiny now.

  Heads turn when Chiara and I walk in together at the lakefront mansion. I clench my jaw and place a protective hand on her lower back. People stare and talk about us, not even bothering to whisper. Chiara’s spine is taut, so I lace our hands together, squeezing lightly. She turns to me and smiles a little, her eyes dimmed by sadness.

  Due to the manner in which her father died, the coffin is sealed shut. Chiara makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat when we get near it, but she stops halfway toward the front row.

  “What’s the matter?” I ask.

  “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Maybe we should go outside for some fresh air.”

  “Yes.”

  I guide us to the double doors I spotted earlier. The path leads to a garden that seems to wrap around the house. A few people are milling about, mostly more interested in smoking than the scenic view of the lake.

  “Oh God,” Chiara whispers so low, I almost don’t hear it.

  I follow her gaze. A young couple is veering our way, both dressed to the nines and sporting an arrogant expression on their faces.

  “Chiara, I see you finally decided to show up,” the woman says.

  “Be nice, Paola,” her companion chimes in.

  Ah, so this is the infamous cousin, which means the guy with her must be Pietro.

  I wrap my arms around Chiara’s waist, bringing her closer to me. His eyes don’t miss the movement, narrowing in the process.

  What a fucking toad.

  “I’m not going to be nice. Chiara totally bailed on her own mother when she needed her the most. If it weren’t for m—”

  “Shut your fucking mouth, Paola, or I swear to God you’re going to need a plastic surgeon to fix your face,” Chiara retorts.

  The woman makes a distressed noise while her eyes turn as round as saucers. Her husband’s jaw slackens. I have to fight the urge to laugh, but I’m loving the fierce side of Goldilocks.

  “That was uncalled for,” the idiotic man says.

  I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer. “What’s uncalled for is this bullshit. Chiara just lost her father. And here you are, trying to make her feel guilty. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

  “Who the hell are you?” Paola asks, obviously recovered from the burn.

  “He’s my boyfriend,” Chiara replies. “Come on, Alistair. The air has become toxic out here.”

  She drags me away, which is good, because another minute in front of the duo and I would probably be called an American savage.

  Back inside, we find the bar. Chiara orders us two glasses of whiskey and drinks hers as if it were a shot.

  “Whoa, take it easy there, sweetheart.”

  “I need liquid courage to survive. Let’s take our places. I can’t wait to introduce you to my mother.”

  Knowing all I know about the woman, I’m not looking forward to the introduction. I try my best to feel empathy considering what happened to her, but she’s tortured Chiara her whole life; I can’t bring myself to feel anything for her but contempt.

  The introduction happens, and to my surprise, no barbs come our way. In fact, I believe her mother is heavily medicated. I guess it’s better this way.

  I sit next to the woman, giving Chiara a little buffer. She’s tense throughout the entire service though. Our hands are fused together, and from time to time, I squeeze hers to let her know I’m there for her.

  I’m usually not overly emotional, but I do shed a few tears for the man Chiara loved so much. I wish I had met him.

  Later, I’m introduced to the rest of the family. Before meeting each of them, Chiara gives me a quick rap sheet. I make sure to glower at all the cousins who gave her grief growing up. Unfortunately, no one misbehaves in front of me, so I have to be polite as well.

  I catch Pietro staring in our direction a couple of times, and I make sure to stare right back at him. He always looks away first.

  That’s right, buddy, you should be scared.

  By the time we get back to the hotel, it’s already past midnight. Chiara is exhausted, so I tuck her into bed, content with just holding her against me.

  My phone rings right before I’m about to doze off. With a quick glance, I see it’s Enzo calling.

  “Hello?”

  “Ciao, Alistair. How’s it going?”

  “You sound awfully chipper.”

  “I have great news. Congratulations, my friend. You’re officially a free man.”

  “She signed the papers?”

  “Yes, she fucking did. Now, please promise to enjoy your freedom for a while, okay?”

  I glance at Chiara, who’s sound asleep in my arms. “Not a chance in hell I can make that promise.”

  CHIARA

  When I wake up, I find the other side of the bed empty. I sit up and search the hotel room. It’s morning outside, but the curtains are drawn, so only a few rays of light come through.

  “Alistair?”

  “I’m here, Goldi,” he answers from outside our suite. A moment later, he comes in, holding a tray with breakfast. “Good morning.”

  “What time is it?”

  “A little past eight. Are you hungry?” He sets the tray on the nightstand and sits on the edge of the mattress.

  “Not really.”

  Alistair frowns. “Goldi, you have to eat. I don’t want you getting sick on me.”

  “Okay, I’ll drink some orange juice.” I reach for the glass.

  His lips are still a thin flat line, but at least the V between his eyebrows is gone.

  “When do you want to fly back to LA?”

  His question makes my stomach queasy. I have to tell him about not being able to return to DuBose.

  “I don’t have good news, Alistair.” I drop my gaze to my lap, unable to withstand his stare.

  “Goldi, you’re scaring me.”

  I take a deep breath and blurt out, “I can’t afford to pay for DuBose anymore. My father’s assets are still frozen even after his death.”

  He places his index finger under my chin and makes me look at him again. “I’ll cover your tuition, Goldi. And if you want to keep living at Brandywine Hall, I’ll pay for that too, although I’d prefer if you moved in with me.”


  “Alistair, I can’t ask you to do that. It’s not right.”

  “Why is it not right? You’re the woman I love. Why can’t I help you graduate from the school of your dreams?”

  “Because we’ve only been together for a short period of time, and I’m not a leech.”

  He furrows his brows again. “Goldi, I know you’re not a leech. If it makes you feel better, you can pay me back once you’re taking Hollywood by storm.”

  I bite my lower lip, fighting to keep the tears at bay. “This is too much. I don’t deserve it.”

  “What are you talking about? You deserve everything and more. You’re the kindest, loveliest person I’ve ever met. If you wanted the moon, I’d find a way to get it for you.”

  With a shudder, I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

  He touches my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. His gaze is brighter and a little red as if he’s been crying or is about to.

  “You’re not a burden. You’re the reason I wake up with a smile on my face. You’re the ray of sunshine that keeps my monsters at bay. You’re it for me, Goldilocks. I’m asking you—no, begging you to let me do this for you if it’s what you want. If you want to stay in Italy, that’s fine too. I’ll move.”

  My eyes go rounder. “You’d give up your entire life in the States to move here for me?”

  “In a heartbeat.”

  I throw my arms over his shoulders and crush my lips to his.

  He kisses me back, hard and fast, before easing off. “What’s it going to be, my love? LA, Milan, Tuscany? You tell me.”

  “LA first, and then we’ll see. As long as you’re with me, I don’t care where we live, Alistair. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Goldi. So damn much,” he says in a husky tone before he pounces, pushing me on my back to show me how much.

  50

  Alistair

  Seven months later

  I haven’t set foot in DuBose since I got fired, but nothing would keep me away from coming to Chiara’s graduation. She returned to school after the tragic death of her father and flourished academically despite all the drama. She graduated with honors and earned a coveted scholarship to UCLA.

  I’m hanging out with Monica, Tessa, and Caio as we wait for Chiara and Robbie to finish saying their goodbyes to their friends. The ceremony took place on the football field, and we’re all glad the temperature remained in the seventies or we’d be melting. There isn’t any shade around here.

  “How are your parents, Alistair?” Tessa asks.

  “They’re well. The last time they checked in, they were in Argentina.”

  “Oh, Buenos Aires is one of my favorite cities in South America,” Monica pipes up. “So romantic.”

  “I’m considering taking my parents up on their offer and meeting them there with Chiara.”

  “I’m sure she’d love it,” Tessa replies. “It warms my heart to see you happy again, Alistair.”

  Caio groans. “Can we stop with the sappiness already?”

  Monica hugs her brother sideways. “Don’t be a hater because you can’t keep the door to your bedroom from revolving.”

  He rolls his eyes, something I only see him do when he’s with his sister.

  Tessa looks over my shoulder and turns serious. “Principal Forrester is coming our way.”

  I turn, body tense. I haven’t seen or talked to him since he fired me. He greets my companions and then focuses on me.

  “Alistair, may I have a word with you?”

  “Of course.”

  We walk away from the others to a spot on the football field that’s less crowded. I shove my hands in my pockets, trying to appear relaxed, but it’s hard to do so with him. We have too much history.

  “Thanks for letting me come to Chiara’s graduation, Forrester. I appreciate it.”

  He nods. “I don’t like how things went the last time we met, Alistair. I said things I shouldn’t have.”

  “You were right to be angry with me. I broke your trust.”

  He seems pained, but he isn’t one to share a great deal about himself.

  “Are you happy?” he asks.

  “Yes, yes I am.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. It’s what matters, isn’t it?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I spot Chiara and Robbie coming over, so I say my goodbyes to Forrester and return to the group. When she’s within reach, I pick her up and twirl her around.

  “Congratulations, Goldi.”

  She laughs. “Alistair. Put me down.”

  I do so, sealing my lips to hers. I keep it brief, but only in consideration of our friends. They don’t need to witness me ravishing Chiara’s mouth like a savage.

  It’s no surprise I find everyone watching us with stupid grins on their faces.

  “I was about to tell you guys to get a room.” Robbie smirks.

  “Oh, they will soon enough.” Caio snorts.

  I glance at Chiara, finding her cheeks bright red. I can’t believe she hasn’t gotten used to Caio’s comments yet. He, like my parents, doesn’t have a filter.

  Robbie’s expression changes when he notices Phillip approaching. As far as I know, they’re still keeping their relationship a secret. He says hello to us all and then stops in front of Robbie.

  “What are you doing here?” Robbie asks.

  “Do you think I’d miss your graduation?”

  “Yeah. Isn’t it what we’ve been doing the entire year? Pretending we’re just casual friends?”

  “I’m done pretending.” He steps into Robbie’s space and kisses him in front of everyone.

  Caio whistles. “Whoa. I did not see that coming.”

  When Phillip steps back, Robbie’s face is flushed. The poor guy looks stunned. He then turns to Monica and Tessa and introduces Phillip as his boyfriend.

  I can’t help but smile from ear to ear.

  “Aw, look at you,” Chiara teases me. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”

  I pinch her waist. “Shush, woman.”

  “Don’t you know, Chiara? Alistair is the biggest crybaby I’ve ever met,” Caio pipes up. “Cries over cereal commercials.”

  Chiara loops her arms around my waist, smiling so hard, her eyes twinkle. “I was right all along. You are a big cuddly bear.”

  I lean forward, touching my nose to hers. “I can be whatever you want.” I pause to bring my lips to her ear. “As long as I get to eat you.”

  CHIARA

  After graduation and the following celebratory lunch with Robbie and his family, I expect Alistair to drive back to his condo, so when he takes the highway heading in the opposite direction, I glance at him sideways.

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise, Goldi.”

  “Oh, I’m intrigued. Are you going to give me a clue?”

  He smirks. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

  “Is that so? Hmm.”

  When I see the sign to Sonoma, I understand his meaning. “We’re going to wine country?”

  “Maybe.” He smirks.

  I haven’t been to Sonoma since the fire. Alistair didn’t want me to see the destruction that devastated most of the valley. I saw plenty of pictures online though, so I’m a little anxious.

  During the three-hour drive, I try my best to make him reveal his plan. I even offer sexual favors in exchange for clues, something he denies me vehemently for safety reasons. Thanks to that, I’m on pins and needles when we approach our destination.

  I recognize the driveway that leads to his parents’ property even though I’ve only been there once. I expect to find nothing but an empty lot, so when a brand-new construction appears in front of me, I gasp.

  “Oh my God.”

  Alistair chuckles. “What do you think?”

  “You rebuilt the house?”

  “Yep.”

  He parks the car in front of the porch. It’s not a replica of his paren
ts’ former home, but it’s the same style.

  “When?”

  “As soon as I was allowed to. Do you like it?”

  I’m stunned for a moment and don’t answer right away. When I do find my voice, I smack Alistair’s chest with the back of my hand. “And you kept this a secret from me?”

  “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.”

  “I can’t believe this.”

  “Come on. I can’t wait to show you inside.”

  He gets out of the car, and I do the same. As much as it was a lovely surprise, I’m a little mad that he didn’t share it with me. I could have helped him.

  I wait for him to unlock the door, biting my tongue to avoid saying something that would ruin the moment.

  He moves out of the way and says, “Ladies first.”

  I only take a few steps in before I freeze. The house is empty.

  “No furniture yet?”

  “I knew it was a gamble building the house without asking for your input. I wouldn’t dream of decorating it on my own. I value my life.” He chuckles.

  I smirk. “Smart man.”

  “Come on. Let’s check out the back porch.”

  He ushers me through the empty living room space toward the wall-to-wall sliding doors. The sun is setting, casting the valley in the most amazing orange hues. But the best part of the landscape is that there’s no trace of the charred destruction the fire left behind. The land is ready for new crops.

  While I was busy at DuBose, Alistair decided to take some time off to figure out what he wanted to do next. Rebuilding the vineyard was an option—one I was more than one hundred percent on board with. I can’t believe he kept it a secret for so long.

  “Oh, Alistair. This is amazing.”

  “Well, it’s not as amazing as it can be.”

  “What do you mean?” I turn to him, finding him on one knee, holding a diamond ring in his outstretched hand. “Oh my God.”

  “I know it’s soon, and we have our entire lives ahead of us, but I don’t want to wait another second. You’re it for me, Chiara. It may have taken me a few detours to find you, but I know you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”