The Man Cave Collection: Manservant, Man Flu, Man Handler, and Man Buns

by Ryan, Shari J.

  Sterling instructs the kids to begin running their beach laps, and he takes the opportunity to meander over to where we are. I stand up to greet him. “Hey, I was thinking . . . everyone keeps talking about this pizza place in Ogunquit. I know I said I needed some time last night, but it’s just pizza, so do you want to get a slice after work?” I ask him. “It can be as friends.”

  “For real?” he asks, sounding very surprised after I turned him down last night and basically this morning.

  “Yeah, I’ll need to get a breather after this day, so it’ll be good to get away for a bit. Jade’s busy tonight I guess, so I need someone to keep me company.” I have no clue what Jade’s doing tonight, but after her display last night, I assume she’ll be busy with Cleary. That’s how she gets, falls for a guy and gets wrapped up with him faster than any insta-love book I’ve ever read. I think that’s how she ended up engaged and almost married before turning twenty-three. Someday she’ll learn, but until then, I guess we live and learn.

  “Should I pick you up or would you like to meet me?” he asks, smiling from ear-to-ear. There’s nothing fake about that smile, or that kiss last night. I don’t care what Liam says. He’s just jealous. At least Sterling knows how to act like a gentleman, for the most part.

  “I’ll meet you there, say, six-thirty?” I ask, tossing a smile back at him.

  “Perfect,” he says. “It’s a date.” Sterling eyeballs Liam and offers him a quick wink as he takes off in the opposite direction. Geez, if looks could kill.

  “Dylan, come on buddy, keep up,” Liam shouts over to him as he watches Sterling run off. Yeah, this ought to be fun.

  Looking past the uncomfortable exchange, I see Dylan hunched over to catch his breath while the other kids are still running. “I can’t,” Dylan yells.

  I jog over to him and place my hand on his back. “You okay?”

  “My chest hurts,” he says.

  I kneel into the sand, forcing him to look at me. “That means your stretching your muscles. How else are you going to become a superhero?”

  “I’m ten, Julia, not six,” he says, deadpanning like I’m a moron for suggesting something so insulting.

  “Sorry,” I tell him. “I know this isn’t your thing, but running is good for your heart and your muscles. It makes you feel happy, and it does make you super strong, which is never a bad thing, right?”

  “How do you know,” he asks. Dylan straightens his posture.

  I used to be in track while I was in school, so I know a thing or too. You know what I used to do when my chest started to hurt?”

  “What?” he asks, curiously.

  “I would think of something else while I was running. Don’t focus on your chest. Count your breaths and try to slow them down so it hurts less.”

  “Okay,” he says. “I’ll try.”

  “I’ll time you, okay?”

  “But I already stopped.”

  “I’ll figure out the pause and give you your speed and time. It’s not a problem.”

  The faintest of smiles touches Dylan’s lips, and he takes off, sprinting after the others. I won’t call it a breakthrough yet, but, we’re getting there slowly.

  I head back to my issues—Liam and Sterling—and find them in a quiet discussion so I keep a small distance between us and grab my phone from my bag to set the timer for Dylan.

  Their conversation ends with laughter, which sort of worries me, but I’m sure it had nothing to do with me. I’ll just think, and hope that, at least.

  Liam comes up behind me as I’m keeping an eye on my watch. “That wasn’t bad,” he tells me.

  “Did you just say something positive?” I ask, displaying an expression of shock stretched across my face to enhance my sarcasm.

  “Won’t let it happen again,” he says. Liam crosses his arms over his chest and maintains his focus on Dylan’s laps. “I’ll make sure to replace the condoms in your bathroom later.”

  I knew his pleasantness couldn’t last more than fifteen seconds. Plus, it’s so obvious how badly he wants me to argue with him. “Oh, that would be great, but could you replace them with the extra-large condoms. The regular ones probably won’t work too well for Sterling, you know?”

  “Aw, are you trying to piss me off, Julia?” he asks. “Because if you are, let me tell you something, it’s going to take a lot more than going out for pizza with Sterling to get under my skin.” I want to call his bluff since it’s kind of obvious that I’m bugging him.

  “Wow. Has anyone ever told you how conceited and cocky you are?” I follow.

  “Daily. It’s my best attribute. Thanks for noticing.”

  “That’s true. Those may be your best attributes.” Yeah, take that, bastard.

  As the silence grows between us, Sterling takes the kids into the water, and I keep my focus on Dylan after what happened yesterday.

  “Are you vibrating?” Liam asks. I didn’t realize you had two, or that you walked around with it between your legs. That’s pretty hot.” Why does his stupid voice have to be so deep and guttural? The goddamn sound of it pretty much sends a different kind of vibration through me.

  “It’s my phone, dimwit.”

  “Easy on the name calling, ouch.”

  I pull my phone out of my back pocket, seeing Dad’s name appear on the screen. Weird. He doesn’t usually call me during the day, though it has been a couple of days now.

  “Hey, Dad!”

  There’s a pause before he says anything so I pull my phone away to see if I have service. I do, hmm.

  “Hey Jelly-Bean,” he finally says. His voice is weird. He’s doing that thing where he pretends to be happy when something is wrong. I think he forgets I’ve known him my entire life.

  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that while Mom and Dad tried to keep the bad parts of life away from me—until Mom left—I was studying them, watching, learning how to keep things from people so I wouldn’t hurt them.

  “What’s wrong, Dad?”

  “Now, why are you going to go ahead and assume something is wrong because a dad wants to call his favorite daughter.”

  “Dad…” I place my finger in my ear, avoiding the gust of wind hitting me face-on.

  “Jelly-Bean, I lost the house.”

  “You, what?” I shout at him out of utter shock, feeling a coldness run through every nerve-ending in my body. It’s almost like the water from this morning. I’m frozen and don’t know what to say or ask—where to start. “Daddy, what happened?” I gravitate away from Liam, not wanting him to hear the conversation.

  “I lost my job, baby-girl. It’s only been a week, but finances weren’t good when I had a job, and I’ve missed two mortgage payments, so the losing this job was kind of the final nail in the coffin, you know?”

  “I’ve only been gone a week though!” I remind him because I had no clue we were in trouble. We had savings, I thought—or so he told me.

  “I know. I didn’t want to worry you, not with this big opportunity you have out there in Maine, but I didn’t want you to call the house phone and wonder why it won’t be answered again after the next few days.”

  “I’ll help you. I’ll give you whatever I make so we can save the house. You name it, I’ll do it. How much is the mortgage?” It’s the very least I can do after he worked overtime for four years to pay my college tuition, and now he’s unknowingly enduring my biggest lie I’ve ever told him, making this situation a million times worse. We’ve lived in that house since I was a baby. There’s no way it can just be taken from us.

  All throughout this life-shattering news, I’m keeping my eye on Dylan, and I can also see Liam keeping his eye on me.

  “Julia, I don’t want one penny from you. I’ll figure something out, okay?”

  “No, Dad, it’s not okay. What are you going to figure out? How long before you have to get the house cleaned out? I’m coming home.” The staggering questions and statements shoot from my mouth without thought, but he has been there
for me every day of my life, and I can’t let this all fall on him.

  “Julia, I will not get in the middle of you and a career you have been working toward for four years. You’re out of your mind, sweetheart. I want you to stay in Maine. I want you to kick butt with that internship, do you understand?” I can’t do this.

  I feel explosive because I can’t keep this lie in any longer. “Dad,” I belt out, hearing my voice crack.

  “Are you outside or something? I can hardly hear you.”

  “Yes, I’m outside.”

  “Okay, well, I don’t want you to get in trouble at work, so give me a call when you get out of the office tonight. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. I promise.”

  “Dad,” I say again, softer this time. He may not have even heard me.

  “Jelly-Bean, it’s going to be okay. I’ll talk to you tonight.” I should just say it—tell him I lied. Tell him I’m just as bad as Mom. He deserves to know.

  “I have to tell you something, Dad.” I catch a falling tear, wishing Liam was not standing behind me. Not only can I not walk any further away without losing sight of Dylan, but I’m being forced to prove my worthlessness in this world.

  “Later, sweetie. Get back inside, please. I love you. We’ll be fine.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, being a coward.

  “Bye, now.” I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at the empty call screen. I am so awful.

  I inhale the salty air, letting it saturate my lungs as I stare up at the sky briefly, needing the pain in my chest to ease. How much bad luck does one good man deserve? It’s not fair, and I’ve added to it. I thought it would be a harmless decision but he has given me everything, and in return, I have given him a lie.

  A hand cups my elbow, and I shudder at the surprising touch. “I—I couldn’t help but overhear some of that. Is everything okay?” Part of me is waiting for Liam to kick me in the back of my knees because I’m already down, but there’s nothing funny or even remotely mean sounding about the way he’s speaking to me or what he’s asking.

  I bite down on my lip to stop the tremble in my chin. “I’m fine,” I croak.

  “What happened?” Liam presses.

  I shrug and swallow against the thick feeling in my throat. “My dad lost his job and has to get rid of our house. It’s just us two so—I don’t know what to do.”

  “What does he want you to do?”

  “Stay . . . at an internship that doesn’t exist—that I lied about. I lied to the one man who has never hurt me, and he’s the one person I should never have lied to, for so many reasons.” The words continue to spill out, and I have a hard time understanding why they are coming so easily with a man who has made my blood boil more in the last week than any other person has in my entire life.

  “Why did you lie?” His question is so simple, and my answer should be just as easy to offer, but I’m not sure why I lied.

  “I think I told him what he wanted to hear.”

  “So, you were protecting him,” Liam adds.

  “I was selfish.”

  “How?”

  “I just graduated with a journalism degree that cost my dad everything, and rather than get an internship at a newspaper or something, as I should have, I wanted a summer off before, you know . . .”

  “Hitting the real world?” He finishes my sentence as if he’s been through this before. I think Liam is a bit older than I am, but I don’t know enough about where he’s been or what he’s gone through to assume he understands any of this.

  “Yes, exactly,” I confirm.

  “First, this isn’t a summer off, as you’ve already seen. Second, you’re getting life experience, which is very important for any writer, in my opinion. Third, you have your whole life to follow whatever dream you started during college. I don’t think your dad would blame you for wanting a few months of life experience.”

  I take a few steps backward and plop down on one of the rocks. My chest is aching, and my lungs feel heavy. Maybe he doesn’t understand. I’m the only one who could ever understand why this matters. Liam follows me over to the rocks and takes a seat beside me, letting me know he’s still listening. “It’s not about being right or wrong. I lied. My mom lied too, then left us in the dust.”

  Liam huffs a sarcastic snicker. “There’s a bunch of shitty parents out there, huh?”

  “Guess so.”

  “Look, I don’t know very much about your story, but we all lie if we think it’s for a good reason. I’ve only known you for a few days, but I can tell you’re not a bad person—maybe a little reckless and clumsy, but you’re good. I’m sure when you lied, it was for the right reason.”

  I glance over at him and the small smirk perking up in the corner of his mouth. “I was wondering when an insult would find its way out of your mouth. I’m not reckless, just for the record.”

  “It just happens,” he explains seriously as if he truly can’t control what he says.

  “Yeah, I can tell.” He nudges his shoulder into mine. “If I can help in any way, let me know, okay?”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  He doesn’t respond, probably because Dylan is running toward us. The training went by much quicker today than it did yesterday.

  “What were my times?” he asks as he reaches us.

  Oh, crap. I completely lost track of his times when Dad called.

  “Oh no,” I hesitate.

  Dylan grabs chunks of his hair as his face reddens. “No, no, no, you have to have the times. You said! Why can’t you do anything right? You’re so stupid, just like the rest of them.” Geez. That’s a little rough.

  “Bud, you know what,” Liam interrupts. “I told Julia I’d keep the times for you, and then my phone died halfway through.”

  Dylan stops panicking and releases his hair from his clenched grip. “Oh,” he says. Dylan clearly has understanding or patience for Liam.

  “Can you please say you’re sorry to Julia? That was rude, little man.”

  Dylan rolls his eyes and turns his head toward me. Even though I feel like I don’t deserve his apology, he mutters a quick, “Sorry.”

  “Okay, grab your towel. Let’s get back to the house,” Liam tells him.

  Dylan runs ahead of us, kicking sand as he goes. “I have a real dumb question for you,” I say to Liam, ambling through the soft sand in his shadow.

  “Aw, all of your questions are dumb, sunshine.” In response to his special comment, I decide not hold my question, but he surprisingly turns around and smiles. “Kidding.”

  Better be. “If you’re so great with Dylan, why are you just the manservant rather than the manny?”

  Liam trips over a vine of seaweed and loses his sandal in the process. “Wowwww,” he says, rebounding from his missed footing. “You think you’re pretty cute, huh?”

  “It’s an honest question, and for your information, the definition of a male maid, is in fact, a manservant. Google it, you’ll see. And manny? Everyone knows a male nanny is called a manny.”

  “Okay, well, I prefer to go by Liam.”

  “So, why then? Why don’t you just be Dylan’s male nanny? Better?”

  “I had no prior experience with kids.”

  “Oh, what is your prior experience with cleaning houses?” Whether he’s older than I am or not, there’s no way he’s been here for a few years and had much of any experience before then.

  “My mother owns Maids of Maine,” he says, keeping his pace quick, staying in front of me.

  I guess that would qualify him for this job. “Never heard of the company.” What else is there to say?

  “You’re not from Maine,” he replies. “Anyway, I hope you’re not asking this male nanny question because you’re thinking of leaving.”

  “Why would you care? Wouldn’t that make you happy?”

  Liam stops short in the middle of the path between the beach and the house. He places his hand up for me to stop, and thankfully, I do, so he doesn’t cop another h
andful of boob today.

  “Don’t you dare leave,” he says with way more anger than I feel is necessary at the moment.

  “Whoa, easy,” I tell him. “What happened to all of that understanding you were bullshitting me with a few minutes ago?”

  “Forget it,” he growls.

  “It’s my dad,” I snap back.

  “Yeah and if you want any hope of proving your responsibility this summer, not walking away from a commitment would be a good way of doing that.”

  I take a step back, needing more space from this accusatory conversation. How dare he use his selfish desires to guilt me into making a decision that may not be right for me.

  I increase my pace to catch up with him. “You know, it’s obvious you have a thing for me, and I’m flattered, but making me feel guilty with aggression isn’t going to change the outcome.”

  “Shit,” he says, peering over at me, clearly disgusted as he looks me up and down. “This is why I am the way I am. Do you even have an inkling of an idea just how detrimental it is for Dylan to have a change in his life? It’s bad enough Samantha can only get a nanny for him in seasonal increments, but every two weeks, I have to watch the same shit while Dylan goes through hell. Look what happens if you don’t put fruit in his cereal? You, nannies, are all the same, and you are the reason I’m not pleasant to “the help.” Liam turns to the house and heads up there, leaving me in the heat of his anger.

  As if I hadn’t already been winded once in the past hour, it’s happened again, and it hurts almost as bad this time

  This house seemed so large when I first got here. Now, I feel like I’m suffocating. Liam has avoided me all day, and with Dylan’s busy schedule, I’ve tried not to notice. Apparently, my shadowing/training time is over now, which I’m thankful for.