The Man Cave Collection: Manservant, Man Flu, Man Handler, and Man Buns

by Ryan, Shari J.

  He’s so fucking hot, and I know I can’t last while watching him ravage me the way he is. “Liam, I’m—”

  “Not yet,” he grunts.

  “I can’t help—”

  He thrusts into me so hard, I cry out with a ferocious groan, releasing, unraveling, letting go, giving in, and surrendering everything I have to him.

  As he seeps into me, the look of anger and pain morphs into contentment, and he collapses beside me, pulling the belt free from my wrists. “I got carried away,” he mutters.

  I twist my head to look him in his beautiful eyes. “It was the hottest thing anyone has ever done to me.”

  “Oh yeah?” he asks proudly.

  “I have experience with inexperienced college guys, but you’re a man who knows what he’s doing.” Showering him with compliments, all I want to do is get him to talk and tell me what’s going through his head, but as he pulls himself up by the sink and adjusts his pants to rebutton them, I know our conversation is coming to an end.

  “I’ll give you a minute to get dressed before I finish cleaning up the mess we made, you dirty girl.” He winks and leans down to give me a quick kiss before slipping out the door.

  What are we doing? What am I doing? The words coming from my mouth when I talk to him are things I would have never dreamed of saying to anyone else, and yet, they just flow off the tip of my tongue like I’m an experienced porn star begging him to lick my ass. But seriously, who would have thought it would be that pleasurable. It does explain a lot about the dog species, I suppose.

  I clean myself up and pull my panties and shorts on so I can make my escape into my own bathroom.

  As I walk by Dylan’s room, I see the two of them sitting on the edge of his bed, back at the video games, both with the same look on their faces. It’s so obvious now.

  “Buddy, we have to be on our best behavior tonight, okay?” I tell Dylan, although I suspect he’s not going to take what I’m saying too seriously.

  “Sure,” he says with a smile.

  “Dylan, it’s my first party with you. Don’t make me look bad.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Julia, look in the mirror. I don’t have to do that because you’re doing such a good job of it yourself.” Yeah, my mouth falls open. I can’t believe he just said that to me. “Just put a little make-up on and maybe something other than jean shorts and you’ll be okay.”

  “Dylan!”

  “Just saying how it is,” he says, unfazed by the rude things he’s said to me.

  “You don’t say that to a lady.”

  “You’re not a lady,” he replies.” This kid is looking for a fight, and I’m not giving it to him.

  “Fine, you’re right. I’m a man, correct?”

  “You do have a little bit of a mustache.” For ten, he sure does know how to get under a woman’s skin.

  “That’s enough,” I tell him.

  “Mom has always told me honesty is the best policy.”

  “That’s because your mom doesn’t want you dating at ten years old,” I retort. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but it is likely the case. I’ve heard the things these kids are getting into nowadays. “In any case, I’m going to go get ready, and it’s not because of what you said. I’ll be back in here in ten minutes, and we’re going downstairs to join the party. Okay?”

  “Suit yourself,” he says, mischievously.

  I’m quick to throw on a simple sundress and powder my face, line my eyes, layer on some mascara and lipgloss, blah blah blah. I lean forward, glancing into the mirror, pushing my tongue into my top lip for mustache inspection. There is nothing there. That was just cruel.

  I step into a pair of wedge sandals that lace up to the bottom of my calf and then spritz a mist of perfume into the air as I spin below it.

  Done.

  I haven’t seen Liam since I saw them playing video games a couple of hours ago, but I’m sure he’s been cooking up a storm downstairs. The house smells like decadent food, mixed with the saltiness of the ocean air. It’s making my stomach speak out loud.

  Dylan begrudgingly put on the clothes I laid out for him, and he looks dapper in his tan cargo shorts and white collared polo. “You look very handsome,” I tell him, pitching my elbow out for him to loop his arm though.

  “You’re kidding me, right?” he asks with sarcastic laughter.

  “I was just trying to be nice,” I tell him.

  “Well, stop. It's annoying.”

  “Kid, do you want to have a fight or something?” I’m leveling with him because he’s pushing every one of my buttons today.

  He smiles sinisterly at me. “Actually, I can’t think of anything I’d love to do more.”

  “Get downstairs,” I tell him, pointing at the stairwell.

  He charmingly takes each step one at a time as if he were making some kind of debutant appearance, waving at people as he descends to the first floor.

  I follow behind him, wondering what to expect when we get downstairs. When we do, I quickly notice no one is in the house.

  “Who were you waving at?” I ask Dylan.

  “The living room . . .” he says, giving me a “duh” look.

  I continue to follow him outside into the back, where I haven’t spent much time yet. Though it’s beautiful back here, it screams adults only, so I’ve hesitated to take Dylan into this area. There’s a stone fireplace surrounded by an outdoor kitchen. The area is covered with an awning draped with hanging vines of greenery. There must be at least fifty people out here, all dressed the same in their New England style, light colored clothing.

  “Uh . . . hello, I have called you ten times today. Where were you?” Jade pops up behind me, followed by a girl around Dylan’s age, and two others a bit younger who run off in a different direction. This must be Leelee, she’s a cutie with perfect blonde curls and dime-sized blue eyes. She’s dressed in a doll-styled white dress, finished off with golden gladiator sandals. Geez, I couldn’t imagine Mom ever caring that much about what I looked like at this girl’s age.

  “Can I leave now?” she asks Jade. “I want to go play with Dylan and the other kids.” Dylan. I turn around, finding he’s already MIA, but I spot him in the grassy area with a few other kids, seemingly plotting something bad as they look over at us, pointing and laughing. Great.

  “Yes, go play,” Jade tells her, shooing her off.

  “Sorry, I’ve had my phone on the nightstand all day. I’ve been running around trying to help Liam for this and taking care of Dylan. I forgot about my phone.”

  “Yeah, but we haven’t talked in like two days, and that’s a record for us, which tells me you’re either mad at me, or getting it real good from some guy.” Jade wiggles her eyebrows at me before glancing around the party.

  “We’ll go with the latter half of your assumption,” I say proudly.

  Jade grabs my arms tightly and spins me around. “You and Liam are doing the dirty? Are the rumors true? Oh my God, please tell me you’re getting wrecked by this guy. I know how badly you needed that.”

  “Jade, my God, I know you have a dirty mind, but . . .”

  “Sorry,” she laughs. “Cleary is like the dirtiest talker I’ve ever been with, and it’s sooooo hot.” I almost forgot about Cleary. I almost forgot about everything but Liam.

  “So you guys are a thing now?” I ask.

  “We’re just having fun,” she explains shortly, letting me know that whatever struggle she was dealing with emotionally is still there somewhere, and she’s doing her best to mask it with sex.

  “What about Chip?” I’ve wanted to ask her since the night she left to go home with Cleary, but I haven’t had the opportunity.

  “I told you, we’re done, Julia.” There’s a snappiness to her response, and while I’m aware of what she told me, I also know how much she loved . . . and probably still loves him. Cleary is fogging up her mind, and she’ll most likely go home more confused than she was when she came here.

  “Okay, okay,” I say, h
olding my hands up in defense. “I won’t ask again.”

  “So, changing the subject real quick, while we have a minute,” Jade says as a female caterer silently greets us with a tray filled with glasses of wine. Jade takes two, and I take one. We’re nannies, not party guests, but I don’t think Sam would bat an eyelash at me having one glass of wine. Two at one time might be a bit overkill, though.

  “Jade . . .” I scold her quietly.

  She points across the way at a woman doing shots of clear liquid by the fireplace. “That’s the girls’ mother, so it’s all good.”

  Oh God. The woman is taking shots with Sam. This should be an interesting night. “Got it,” I tell her.

  “Anyway, back to what I was trying to tell you . . .” she begins to say. While I’m focused on what Jade is saying, I feel a hand drape over my bare shoulder. “Sterling and Cleary, my two favorite brothers.” Jade exuberantly makes her way over to them, still double fisting the wine as she air kisses both of them on each cheek. Are we suddenly European and mixed in with the crowd of Beverly Hills? Plus, she’s sleeping with Cleary, so a cheek kiss is a bit odd, but it’s Jade, and who am I to question anything?

  The more important part is that Sterling is here, and my focus also just fell upon Liam, who’s dressed in a pair of perfectly creased Dockers and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves cuffed up to his tattoo-covered elbows. His hair is combed upward into a purposeful messy style that looks incredible on him, and he’s wearing leather bracelets that match his brown suede loafers.

  “Julia, you have drool . . .” Jade mutters into my ear, “and Sterling is standing right in front of you.”

  I do my best to readjust my gaze onto Sterling, but after seeing Liam in nothing but jeans, t-shirts, and board shorts over the past week, I can’t help the little bit of drool pooling at the corner of my mouth. “Guppy,” Sterling says with an abundance of cheeriness. “I had fun last night.” Was that last night? I’ve been in a sex coma for like twenty-four hours, and it feels like a year since I went out for pizza with Sterling.

  Jade elbows me in the side. “Last night, huh? What were you two crazy kids up to?”

  Sterling wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I feel uncomfortable knowing Liam is just across the way. Not that I’m committed to either of them, but Liam did lick my ass, and I feel like it’s sort of a claim on his territory.

  “Yeah, that pizza was so good,” I tell him. I’m aware that’s not the response he was probably going for, but he ignores my response and takes a swig of his beer.

  Feeling more uncomfortable by the moment, I keep my gaze set on Jade, whose earlobe is being tended to by Cleary’s tongue. I still don’t think I’ve heard him say more than two words. Granted, Jade does talk enough for the two of them, but still . . . it’s strange.

  “How was your day?” Sterling asks, making small talk.

  “Can’t complain.” I’m not trying to sound as short as I do, but I don’t exactly want to tell him the truth or the fact that I’ve been fucked like ten ways from Sunday, had a finger up my ass, had a tongue up my ass, and had water pounded up my ass. Wow. Impressive for one day.

  Sterling is sweet, and while I typically appreciate a patient guy who is decent kisser, I think I’ve recently learned that occasionally, a girl needs to be sexually pillaged too, just to remind her that she has what it takes to steal a man’s breath away. Not that I’ve given Sterling a chance to prove his worthiness in that department, but Liam beat him in this ass race, literally.

  While internally beating myself senseless, I somehow manage to polish off this glass of wine. Oh, and here is another waiting for me. Is this woman like watching me guzzle this shit down? She must want me to be drunk. Should I tip her? I mean, I would if I had any cash on me, but I don’t.

  I look around for Dylan because I’m supposed to be watching him rather than focusing on how fast I can drink a glass of wine, but he’s still in the same spot, except now he’s talking to Leelee with a huge cheeseball grin. That’s so cute.

  “How’s Pops?” Jade asks.

  “I assume you heard?” I respond.

  “Heard what?”

  “Your dad said he couldn’t crash, I guess. I’m sure he had reasons for it, though. Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

  “Ugh,” Jade groans. “I know exactly why.”

  “Why?”

  “He doesn’t like to clean, but he gets embarrassed about a messy house. He’s weird.”

  I’m not sure that fully explains it. I suppose I can understand not wanting a roommate at his age, but Dad is about to be out on his butt tomorrow, and here I am drinking expensive wine on a porch overlooking the ocean.

  “What’s he going to do?” Sterling asks, entering the conversation.

  “I’m not sure. I offered to come home a bunch of times, but he made me promise I wouldn’t. I just feel helpless and guilty, plus I’m worried about him.”

  “Your dad doesn’t give up, Jules. He’ll figure something out,” Jade says.

  A loud slapping noise interrupts the conversation. I snap my head around to see where the sound is coming from, finding Liam’s hand on Sterling’s shoulder.

  “How’s it hangin’, man?” Liam’s cheeks are red, but he looks so good up close that I’m not paying attention to the tension rising in the small space around us.

  “Good, good. We missed you this morning. What happened to ya, eh?” Sterling asks Liam.

  “I was with a chick,” he says with a wink and a nudge.

  “Awww, yeah,” Sterling replies with a hand raised for Liam to slap. “Anyone I know?”

  Please don’t, Liam. Not here. Not now.

  “Nah, I don’t think so,” Liam thankfully says.

  “I wish I had been so lucky last night,” Sterling says, gritting his teeth through a smile, squeezing my shoulder a little tighter.

  I slip out from under his arm and grab Jade by the hand. “Bathroom?”

  “I don’t have to go,” she says, regretfully releasing Cleary’s hand.

  “Jade. Now.”

  “Ugh, this is like the sexcapades on lover’s island,” Jade mutters as I drag her away.

  I’ve locked Jade and myself into the downstairs bathroom, pinned her against the back of the door, and I’m now staring into her concerned eyes. “I think I’m getting myself into trouble,” I tell her.

  “What? What could you have possibly done in a week?”

  “Oh, please, coming from a person playing fuck-buddies with a guy who doesn’t talk, just weeks after coming out of an engagement with the man you intended to spend the rest of your life with.”

  “Harsh, Jules, geez.”

  “Seriously, though.”

  “Okay, I’m going to ignore your rudeness to Cleary and chalk it up to the two glasses of wine you just downed, but what is going on?”

  “Sterling is sweet, good-looking, and he’s made it clear he’s into me, but—” Butt is totally the problem here.

  “But? It’s been a week, what more could you want?” she asks, completely confused by where I’m going with this.

  “Liam . . .”

  “He’s good in bed, right?” She jests with a wink.

  “He’s not just good in bed, Jade.”

  “Ohhh, so like, does he have a steel penis?” This conversation is far too serious sounding as we discuss Liam’s penis.

  I hold my hands about three-quarters of a foot apart from each other and then cup my hands together to show the girth. “Like . . . unreal.”

  “Holy shit . . . and ouch . . . at the same time.”

  “No, not ouch. He’s like a magician. One second you see it, the next it’s inside of me . . .” I tell her.

  “Okay, how are you drunk after two glasses of wine?” she asks.

  “He licked my . . .”

  “Pussy?” she asks as if I’m strange for not finishing my sentence.

  “No . . .”

  She thinks for a second before her eyes widen
with understanding. “He licked your bumhole?”

  I nod my head, feeling my cheeks redden. “It was . . .”

  Her mouth is hanging open. “It was, what?”

  I admit it. “It was amazing. He had my wrists bound and . . .”

  “Holy Fifty Shades.”

  “Is it weird that I like it?” I ask her.

  “Nah, I always had a feeling you were a freak in the bedroom. It’s always the cute, innocent-looking ones who surprise the hell out of you.” I feel like that’s what Sam said about Liam this morning.

  “Hence, Cleary . . .” I figure.

  She looks down between us and fidgets with the bulky ring on her forefinger. “We haven’t had sex, Jules.”

  “What?” I figured they were screwing each other’s brains out every day.

  She glances up at me with a thin sheen of tears in her eyes. “I can’t do it.”

  I take her hands and hold them up to my heart. “You love Chip, Jade. That’s why.”

  “I know I do. I’m just scared.”

  “You’re twenty-two. You’re thinking about the rest of your life. Of course you’re scared. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but you can have your cake and eat it too . . .”

  “Obviously, I’m taking this advice from the master of eating cake,” she replies, annoyed.

  “Oh . . . I know how to eat cake and lick that frosting like you wouldn’t believe.” I wink and give her a tight hug.

  “You’re gross. I was seriously talking about cake,” she tells me, before shaking herself out of my grip. “Okay, so what are you going to do about Sterling?”

  “I think I need to be honest with him. I don’t want to give him false hope when I’m having the best sex of my life.”

  “But . . . is there more to Liam than sex?” she asks. “Like, what if Sterling is just as good in bed, but there’s more to him, and not so with Liam?”

  “Are you trying to help me or confuse me?” I’m trying to help you, girly, but you need to focus on the here and now. Plus, you need to make the right choice, and to do that, you have to look at the big picture.”