It Was Always You

by Natalie R Allen

  Caleb smiled sweetly. “Me too. I even spoke with Simon about it, about seeing you this weekend.”

  “What did he say?” I asked curiously.

  “He warned me to be careful. Reminded me of the hard time I went through and to keep my distance but…” He shrugged.

  “I tried to stay away too, but I swear I felt a physical pull toward you, and I didn’t know how to stop. When we were on the lake, and you told me you were open to a girlfriend, to love.” I shook my head and closed my eyes, remembering how upset I was. “I felt like my heart was being ripped out, and I was so upset with you.”

  My eyes glistened, chin trembling and Caleb stood. “Can I scoot you over?” he asked.

  I nodded and braced myself for the move, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. Caleb kicked off his shoes and sat next to me. Love and safety surrounded me when he held me close to his chest.

  “In the hammock.” Caleb’s chest rumbled, and I snuggled closer. “You asked me why I didn’t sleep.”

  I nodded. “I remember.”

  “I didn’t want to miss a second with you.” His voice turned into a whisper. “I had imagined and wished for that moment too many times. So when it was really happening, I couldn’t miss a second of you.” He strengthened his hold on me. “I had a bit of a breakdown while you were asleep. I hadn’t had one like that for a long time, but I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking about the morning coming, about you going back to him, you being in his arms...” He took a shaky breath. “I thought I was going crazy.”

  I listened to him in wonder. There I was asleep in the hammock and he was having an episode similar to mine.

  I cleared my throat. “After I left you at the lake, it was all I could to keep it together. I went straight to my room and once I was in the shower, I completely lost it. I felt cheated by you. Like you should've told me when you were ready for someone. And then…” I paused, unsure if I wanted to continue.

  “And then what, babe?” he asked quietly.

  I smiled at his term of endearment, surprised by how it tugged at my heart. “I felt like you rejected me by not telling me. Like if you wanted me at all, in the past or present; if you loved me all that time, like I did you; then you would have sought me out, said something, anything. When I felt that rejection—” My voice hit a high pitch as I remembered how horrible it felt, and I began to cry again. “I've never been in such emotional turmoil in all my life.” My voice broke and I wept into his chest.

  “Hey, I’m here now. It’s okay.”

  I shook my head against him. “I felt crippled by it.” I sobbed. “I can hardly think about it now.”

  He tipped my head back and the mental picture I took of Simon flashed. Caleb had the same loving look on his face before he leaned in…and kissed me. I returned his slow kiss and pulled away, wiping at my eyes but the tears wouldn’t stop.

  Caleb stroked my face in concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry,” I cried, and my shoulders shook. I looked at him through my blurry tears. “You didn’t even make me ask for it.”

  His brows pulled together in confusion and then he smiled. “Dang it, you’re right.”

  “I know.” I smiled and then cried again.

  Caleb shook his head with a sweet smile. “I think you’re tired, babe.”

  I smiled through my tears and nodded. “I think I am.”

  Caleb chuckled and kissed me.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  Caleb smiled against my mouth. “I love you, Amy.”

  EPILOGUE

  “What the!” Simon’s voice sounded behind Caleb and me. We were in Caleb’s office. I was perched on the edge of the desk, and Caleb stood in front of me, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. We didn’t flinch at Simon’s words and he cleared his throat.

  “Oh really? Get a room.” It was Parker’s voice this time.

  I pushed Caleb gently away, glaring at Parker, and gestured around me. “We have a room.”

  Coming to the shop was a little awkward at first with Byron here, but apparently only awkward for me. Caleb and Byron seemed to be as friendly as ever, and Byron treated me kindly whenever he saw me.

  Parker did what he could to help me out at home with whatever I needed after being injured. Not that he had to do much, since Caleb and I were almost inseparable. Caleb was there to tuck me in every night and even came early before work a lot. I wasn't working yet; my cast was still on and I had another week off.

  So, I was more than annoyed at my brother for interrupting my Caleb-time.

  Caleb chuckled. “Did you need something?”

  “Simon and I just had a question here,” Parker said.

  “It’s okay. I’ll catch you later, Caleb. Katie wants to know if we are still on for dinner?” Simon addressed me.

  I nodded. “We’ll be there.”

  “I’ll see you later, then.” Simon walked out with Parker, who was grimacing over his shoulder at me.

  Caleb turned his attention back to me. “I’ll pick up Sparkle tonight after I drop you off.”

  “What? No,” I whined. “Let her stay one more day.”

  Caleb grinned, his eyes light and happy. “She’s been there for three days. What happened to every other day? I’m getting lonely at night without her.”

  I raised a pointed eyebrow. “I can think of how to remedy that.”

  Caleb groaned through a laugh and shook his head. “Don’t tempt me, babe.” I pouted and Caleb chuckled, glancing back at the door. “You’d think he would be used to walking in on us by now.”

  I barely heard what he said. His beautiful face was distracting me and I seemed to be in a trance over it. That smile turned into a sly grin and bit my lip in anticipation. Caleb came closer and my eyes flickered to the open door.

  “Don’t worry. They’re gone,” he said. “Unless someone is hiding behind the door…trying to avoid me.”

  I gasped, blinking in shock, and Caleb laughed. “How do you know that! I didn’t tell anyone about it!”

  Caleb’s smile softened and he leaned against me, making me tip my head back to see him. “I knew you were there,” he said.

  I shook my head in wonder, remembering quite vividly hiding in the corner and being as silent as I could. “How?”

  “I could smell you,” he said with a sweet smile.

  I scrunched my nose at him. “Gross.”

  “I thought I must have been imagining it, when I stopped at the door.” Caleb took my face in his hands and hovered over my mouth. “But then, I could hear you breathing, and I knew it was you.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I figured if you wanted to see me, you wouldn’t have been hiding from me behind a door,” he teased.

  “Sorry about that,” I whispered.

  “How sorry?” his voice taunted.

  “Kiss me.”

  Caleb smiled against my lips. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you are coming on to me.”

  “Yep.” I leaned in and kissed that wicked smile.